apple blossom & ylang ylang

Be Kind to Yourself

This is just a reminder that negative self-talk is a sort of self-harm. We’re mentally and emotionally beating ourselves up, hurting ourselves with our own thoughts. In addition to the damage this causes us emotionally, by continuously accepting these negative thoughts as fact, we’re reinforcing whatever it is the thought is about–sometimes even creating a problem where one didn’t exist before.

One of the basic tenants of magick is that our beliefs shape our reality. Like attracts like, and what we believe to be true can indeed become true, just because we believe it. If we’re constantly looking in the mirror, telling ourselves we’re ugly, or if we’re always berating ourselves for being stupid, guess what–we are contributing to the problem just by reinforcing our belief in it.

This is why positive thinking is so important. By replacing negative self-talk with positive, we’re attempting to change what we believe, all the way down to our subconscious. We can help ourselves be great by believing great things about ourselves. Obviously this has limitations, but it will be contributing to the solution, rather than the problem. Positive reinforcement can be added to just about any type of magick we do.

Meditation – Use positive statements about yourself, or about things with which you’re currently struggling, as mantras while you meditate. You can also straight-up meditate on positive things about yourself, focusing on them completely to the point of meditation for a space of time.

Sigils – Create a sigil using a sentence that states something positive you aspire to be (”I am confident” or “I use my time wisely” etc.), and use it the way you would with any sigil to help you achieve your goal. Or create sigils that state something like “I am optimistic” or “I am a positive thinker” and either burn them/activate them however you would normally, or put them on things you use throughout the day. I like to put a sigil for “I think uplifting thoughts” on the bottom of my paper coffee cup each day at work, and charge it by stirring clockwise, focusing on my intent. Then I drink the coffee. :)

Incense – Find incense that drives away negativity, or increases positivity, and burn it. Some kinds of incense that are good for this are Palo Santo, Lavender, Sandalwood, Frankincense, Basil, Apple Blossom, Cedar, Ylang Ylang, and sooo many others. Look up incense correspondences to find ones that will work for what you want, with scents you like. Essential Oils can also be used in this sort of way.

Crystals – Charge and carry crystals for positive thinking, self-love, repelling negativity, or whatever it is specifically with which you’re struggling. Some crystals good for this would be Amethyst, Dolomite, Goldstone, Malachite, Sodalite, and Rose Quartz, but definitely look up crystal correspondences to find the ones that would work best for you.

Spellwork and Rituals – You can craft spells specifically for believing better things about yourself, or for becoming better in certain ways (more confidence, greater focus, etc.). Also, most any love spell can be modified into a self-love spell.

If anyone has more ideas, totally add on!

(Just adding this note to clarify that, while positivity is good, being “happy all the time” is not a practical goal, nor even a healthy goal. Sadness and anger and other negative emotions are part of life, and it’s important to let yourself feel them. So this is not a post saying you should repress grief or pain, or saying it’s bad to mourn, or anything like that. This is just a post encouraging all of us to stop hurting ourselves.)