appendixes

Anxiety in three acts

1: Oh god I have pain in my side and nausea and fatigue I have appendicitis
2: Okay nevermind it’s on the wrong side
3: Oh god I have appendicitis and my appendix is in the wrong place.

  • sirius: what are you talking about i'm like the backbone of this friendship group
  • james: ur like... the appendix of this friendship group
  • james: no one knows what ur here for
  • remus: also prone to explode at any given moment
  • remus: and a real pain to remove
  • peter: get rekt m8
  • sirius: fuck you guys

The Arkansas Sleep Experiments

by reddit user nazisharks

To Those Who Sleep

This happened a few years ago. You may have heard rumors if you’re on campus. Some even circulated online. Nobody knew what really happened. Because I’m the only one who knows and I kept quiet. For a multitude of reasons. None of them matter now. Here’s what really happened.

The four of us were handpicked for this experiment by Prof. Richardson because we’d all studied under him, worked under him, and, as much as anyone can, earned his confidence.

He said this one was different. We had to keep it quiet. He wanted to keep details to a minimum. All he would tell us before going in was that he required a month of our lives and that if he succeeded sleep would never again be a necessity.

Keep reading

【Japan Official Fanclub Magazine Vol.5】 BTS Ranking Q1 - 8

Q1: Which member seems to be suitable to have a heart-to-heart talk with?

1. RAP MONSTER 6323 votes
2. J-HOPE 2728 votes
3. JIMIN 2572 votes
4. SUGA 1525 votes
5. JIN 870 votes
6. JUNGKOOK 189 votes
7. V 163 votes
(RAP MONSTER: I consult with our members.)

JIN: Who do you guys think is #7?
JUNGKOOK: V hyung!
SUGA: Shouldn’t it be Jungkook, since he’s the maknae?
V: No, Jin hyung is definitely in the lower rank.
JIN: Nope,it’s V, right? (laughs)
J-HOPE: The result is… oh oh oh!
SUGA: The difference between #1 and #7’s votes is so big.
V: What does everyone think of me? (laughs)
RAP MONSTER: V is a member that we need to talk him about his troubles. (laughs)
JIMIN: The reasons for picking Rap Monster hyung are mainly “because he’s the leader that united the group”, “it seems that he can give the right advice”.
JUNGKOOK: Hyung usually listens to everyone’s worries.
V: The best leader!
RAP MONSTER: I like discussing about the worries that you guys have!
SUGA: I really want to know the reason why V is #7.
J-HOPE: They wrote “it seems that V will give unexpected answers”.
JIN: That’s right. V would unexpectedly give really good answers.
V: Yay! I got 1 vote. (laughs)

Q2: Who do you want to make lunch box for you?

1. JIN 10292 votes
2. JIMIN 1054 votes
3. JK 928 votes
4. SUGA 772 votes
5. V 539 votes
6. RAP MONSTER 421votes
7. J-HOPE 364 votes
(JIN: It has to be me when comes to cooking!)

JIMIN: Suga hyung have made sandwiches before.
SUGA: Very delicious.
V: Hyung cooks often too.
SUGA: Yeah, I’ve made lunch boxes for our members.
RAP MONSTER: It’s just V and I who can’t cook.
JIN: You’ve burnt a pan before! (laughs)
J-HOPE: Do I give people the impression that I don’t cook?
JIN: Hobi’s cooking level is average.
JUNGKOOK: It’s not very delicious and it’s not awful (laughs).

Q3: Who likes to talk for a long time on the phone?

1. V 5548 votes
2. JIMIN 3512 votes
3. J-HOPE 2142 votes
4. JIN 1915 votes
5. JUNG KOOK 542 votes
6. RAP MONSTER 475 votes
7. SUGA 236 votes
(JIMIN: The calls are short but I call often.)

RAP MONSTER: V is #1!
SUGA: A lot of people wrote “V probably can talk incessantly even if he’s alone.”
V: I won’t even notice if the other person isn’t talking (laughs) It’s right that I like to talk on the phone!
RAP MONSTER: #2 is Jimin and the reason is “he updates Twitter often, so it seems that he will call often”, a very good impression.
JIMIN: I think I’m the type that wouldn’t call a long time but I would call often.
JUNGKOOK: I don’t make calls! Sometimes when I think I have been talking for 30 minutes but it has only been 1 minute. I was so surprised.
JIN: I hate phone calls too. I like to contact people by texting. Even when I make calls, I would be like “hey, check your texts” and then end the call. (laughs)
SUGA: Me too, I always try to send texts.
RAP MONSTER: I like to make long calls, so I can talk for 3 hours.
J-HOPE: I often make video calls compared to the normal calls.
V: You follow fashion!
JIN: I completely forgot such function existed. (laughs)

Q4: If you go to the seaside together, who would be the noisiest member?

1. V 5306 votes
2.JUNG KOOK 3741 votes
3.J-Hope 3565 votes
4. JIMIN 1009 votes
5. JIN 374 votes
6. SUGA 251 votes
7. RAP MONSTER 124 votes

RAP MONSTER: Although I’m #7, I can be unexpectedly quite noisy.
JIN: Unexpectedly, I can be super noisy!
JUNGKOOK: Unexpectedly I’m not noisy. (laughs) 
JIN: Yeah, Jungkook isn’t noisy. I feel like Jimin and I will have fun until we collapse. 
V: Rap Monster hyung unexpectedly is the lively type. 
SUGA: Unexpectedly I’m not noisy. 
JIN: That’s not unexpected at all! (laughs) 
J-HOPE: I think I would change depending on the situation. 
JIMIN: The reasons for #1 V are “because he’s like a child”, “if V goes to play on his own, you probably won’t even know where he ran off to.”
RAP MONSTER: That’s right, but Jungkook would go missing if he secretly goes off by himself.
V: Yeah, Rap Monster hyung who’s next to me, you know someone is missing!

Q5: If you had to pick the first alien in BTS, who would you pick?

1. V 9312 votes
2. SUGA 1678 votes
3. RAP MONSTER 1314 votes
4. J-Hope 818 votes
5. JUNG KOOK 637 votes
6. JIN 371 votes
7. JIMIN 240 votes
(V: I’m definitely the leading #1! (laughs))

JIN: This is made for V, right? (laughs)
RAP MONSTER: The result… eh, Suga hyung is #2 and I’m #3!? So unexpected.
SUGA: After I had the appendix surgery, I couldn’t go to the space. (laughs)
JUNGKOOK: I want to go~
J-HOPE: The reason for Rap Monster is “it seems that his mind can easily be in sync with the aliens’ minds”.
ALL: (bursts out laughing)
JIMIN: This means that I give people the impression that I’m the most normal member.
V: What about me then? (laughs)

Q6: The member can do bungee jump without hesitation?  

1. JUNGKOOK 10657 votes
2. SUGA 1143 votes
3. JIMIN  650 votes
4. J-HOPE 590 votes
5. RAP MONSTER 588 votes
6. V 469 votes
7. JIN 273 votes
(JUNGKOOK: Bungee jump is fun!)

RAP MONSTER: #7 Jin hyung got so little votes. (laughs) There isn’t a big difference between #3 – 6.
JIN: Hey, including #7, there isn’t a big difference. When have I left such impression on you guys? (laughs)
J-HOPE: Those who picked Jin hyung wrote, “Jin hyung has broad shoulders, so the air resistance would be really big.”
ALL: (bursts out laughing)
JIN: Wow, this is very scientific! (laughs)
JIMIN: A lot of people wrote for #1 Jungkook, “it seems that he can jump easily.”
JUNGKOOK: Yes! That’s right.
J-HOPE: For #2 Suga, “Suga has the image that he doesn’t react to scary things.”
SUGA: If it’s for filming, I can jump otherwise I wouldn’t. It’s the occupational disease. (laughs)
V: Actually, everyone is really scared except Jungkook.
J-HOPE: Yeah, everyone can do bungee jump but only Jungkook would enjoy it.
V: I did it once and I thought I was going to die!
RAP MONSTER: I don’t want to do it ever again. (laughs)

Q7: Who do you want to be a comic duo with?

1. J-HOPE 6199 votes
2. JIN 2752 votes
3. SUGA 1677 votes
4. V 1327 votes
5. RAP MONSTER 957 votes
6. JIMIN 950 votes
7. JUNG KOOK 508 votes
(J-HOPE: Let’s make a comic duo with Suga hyung.)

SUGA: Hobi has got to be no.1.
J-HOPE: Many people want to see Suga hyung and I do a comic act.
RAP MONSTER: The silly one (boke) is Hobi and the straight man in comedy (tsukkomi) is Suga hyung.
J-HOPE: Don’t be like that!
ALL: (laughs)
V: Jungkook is #7 so unexpected. Isn’t he funny in Japan?
JUNGKOOK: No, my image in Japan is handsome/ cool.
RAP MONSTER: But Jungkook is the most hilarious, he has the ability to make people laugh.
JIMIN: No, recently Jin hyung is the funniest.
V: Yeah, I think Jin hyung is #1!

Q8: Who can’t get up? (Who’s weak in the morning)?

1. SUGA 6692 votes
2.JUNG KOOK 3590 votes
3.V 2623 votes
4.JIMIN 694 votes
5.RAP MONSTER 439 votes
6.J-Hope 229 votes
7. JIN 103 votes

SUGA: Even though I’m #1, I can get up straight away. I produce music so I often stay up at night, I would usually take naps in between the gaps.
JUNGKOOK: The most energetic in the morning is Hobi hyung, hyung always gets up the earliest.
JIN: Even if Jimin gets up early, he takes a long time to prepare.
J-HOPE: But he can’t get up. (laughs)
JIMIN: I’ve been trying recently.
JIN: Huh˜? But I can smell that someone was late today (sniffs)
JIMIN: I got up straight away in the morning. I’m not that slow these days~ 
ALL: (laughs)
RAP MONSTER: #2 Jungkook actually can’t get up, just like it’s written here “Jungkook might get angry if you wake him up.”
V: During the trainee days, I prepared a surprise for Jungkook’s birthday but he didn’t get up no matter how many times I’ve knocked on the door. I had to pull his legs to the living room. (laughs)
J-HOPE: V stop talking about other people (laughs), someone wrote “it seems that V would crawl back to sleep (or have unprotected sleep) 4 times.” This is so on point.
V: Yeah! If I wake up, I’ll fall back to sleep (laughs)

V’s palm reading; Jimin; Suga; Rap Monster; JungkookJinJ-Hope
Q: What do you want to challenge yourself this summer?
BTS Biography - Jimin
BTS Biography - V (Vol.3)BTS Biography - Suga (Vol.2)

Trans: KIMMYYANG (from Chinese - blinglingGI)

  • Jason: [Laying in a hospital bed, waiting for his appendix to be taken out] If I die during this operation, will you do one thing for me?
  • Tim: Anything, Jason
  • Jason: [Grabs Tim by the collar and squeezes eyes] blow up the fucking hospital
MBTI Types as Pick-Up Lines
  • INFJ: Can I follow you? Because my mom told me to follow my dreams.
  • ISFJ: When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you
  • ENFJ: I write your name in the sky but the clouds blow it away. I write your name in the sand but the waves wash it away. I write your name in my heart and forever it will stay.
  • ESFJ: Since we’ve been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
  • INTP: Dang girl, are you an appendix because I don't understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
  • ISTP: Hey boy, are you sleep? Cause I don't get nearly enough of you and it's ruining my social, emotional, and over all mental health.
  • ENTP: I was recently diagnosed with a rare disease called cryoaudiovascularia. It prohibits proper blood flow to the ears, causing them to slowly freeze and fall off, slowly spreading to the inner ear and finally to the brain. There is no known cure, except one. My ears need to be constantly warmed, and the only known material soft enough is the inner thighs of a pretty girl. So I need you to sit on my face for medical reasons.
  • ESTP: I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you. *kiss* Oh what a shame, it seems like I lost the bet.
  • INTJ: You look familiar, didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.
  • ISTJ: Most people like to watch the Superbowl cuz it only happens once a year, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.
  • ENTJ: I'm an army recruiter, and I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place and "be all you can be."
  • ESTJ: You know how I got these guns? *points to biceps* Lifting children out of poverty.
  • INFP: I blog about you sometimes.
  • ISFP: Of all your beautiful curves, your smile is by far my favorite.
  • ENFP: Fascinating. I’ve been looking at your eyes all night long, ’cause I’ve never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
  • ESFP: Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.

Neil is 100% one of those people who will reorganize life just to work around a cat. Andrew thinks he’s an idiot when he crouches on the floor to type at his laptop just because King stole the desk chair, or will somehow find a way to make the bed around the cat instead of simply moving the creature.

However Andrew discovers the opportunity when Neil is still recovering from his appendix being removed and suddenly Neil needs to go for a run. Instead of letting him he grabs one of the cats meowing by the bed and drops it on Neil’s chest and watches the fluffy creature curl up peacefully and begin to purr.

Neil never went for a run.

4

middle-earth meme: two couples [½] ->arwen and aragorn

For a moment Aragorn gazed in silence, but fearing that she would pass aways and never be seen again, he called to her crying, Tinúviel, Tinúviel! even as Beren had done in the Elder Days long ago. Then the maiden turned to him and smiled, and she said: “Who are you? And why do you call me by that name?” And he answered: “Because I believed you to be indeed Lùthien Tinúviel, of whom I was singing. But if you are not she, then you walk in her likeness.” “So many have said,” she answered gravely. “Yet her name is not mine. Though maybe my doom will be not unlike hers.” (The Return of the King, Appendix A: The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen)