How was coming out to your parents?
It was hard but they had figured it out a long time before I did- my mom has told me she suspected as soon as when I was 3, and apparently she outright asked me when I was 13 and I said no- I hadn’t figured it out yet and have no memory of this! But I was a very dysphoric kid and too busy dealing with a lot of abuse to even connect with other people at all really, let alone actively think about or even realize a sexuality outside of undirected adolescent libido, and I just assumed I was straight. I realized around 14/15 that not only was I attracted to other girls, but that I had been having crushes on other girls back to literal preschool and just not understanding them; I started realizing what sexual attraction feels like and realized I hadn’t felt it at all before, I’d just been experiencing jealousy and sex dysphoria, which is apparently pretty common from conversations with other butches. I came out as bi at first (took me another year, 16-17ish, for me to realize I was not attracted to men) and then later as a lesbian, which they’d always suspected.
There were rough spots for sure. My mom never had a hard time with me being gay necessarily, but she had a hard time with me being butch- I think it is pretty reasonable too, and I don’t think it is wrong inherently for parents to be upset or mourn a certain life when their child comes out, I just think those feelings are to be privately dealt with because they are the parent’s problem and not the child’s. I got into a big fight with her once that resulted in me not talking to her for about 6 months, and would never have contacted her again if she hadn’t apologized and come around. She’s genuinely super cool now and we’re in a good place- I think honestly she needed time and space to process that stuff and I don’t begrudge her that, though of course she could have done it without an argument first. But now she’s like, Max Ally, always correcting homophobic comments among her friends and family and so on.
I had a much easier time than most! I know people who were kicked out, I know people who were economically cut off, etc. But honestly coming out to myself was a lot harder than coming out to my parents.