apologies for the quality i really wanted to make this a gif

TO WONDER; Chapter Two, History’s Greatest Wonder

Summary: Studying art history abroad was supposed to be easy. It’s the second semester of your Freshman year. Meeting a gorgeous woman was a thought in the back of your head. This gorgeous woman having deadly secrets of her own wad not a thought in the back of your head.

Word Count: 9,639

Pairing: Diana Prince x Reader; Wonder Woman x Reader

A/N: So, this will be a, uh, story? A series? I’m not sure yet. I do have the third chapter started. This is a long chapter. I just kind of went with it? Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy it! Thanks :)

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The Louvre is full. More so than yesterday. You patiently wait near the statue of Aphrodite. A quick glance at your phone lets you know its 10 minutes past 12. All the ‘what ifs’ run through you mind like a guinea pig on a wheel. You begin to think she stood you up or just plain forgot about you. You grab your stuff slowly, hoping she will appear if you go slow enough. No show once everything was in your arms. You venture to the exit.

Your walk was slow. Your hope slowly going away as despair and anger filled you. The crisp air couldn’t bother you with the sun beating down. A beautiful combination. A wonderful day for art. Your mood keeps you from staying at the Louvre, wanting to get as far away from there as possible.

The streets are full of people hustling around. Some to are going to work, others to breakfast. The teens are walking off to who knows where, then there was you. Walking slowly, with dismay on your face. She could have been flirting to make you feel better, playing at your heart strings you think to yourself. Even more crushing is the fact you won’t be able to see the behind the scenes and learn more about what the Louvre has to offer.

You slow your walking, to the point you just stop and stare. There is this wall on an old brick building, dedicated to the late Superman. Low quality photos civilians have taken of him flying by. Some from the conference that took a drastic right turn into turmoil. Grainy pictures of what seems to be an average man interacting with normal, everyday people. It really makes you think, how many amazingly talented, superhero like people you have crossed paths with in the past.

A simple memorial means everything to people who’s lives have been affected by this one man who never asked to be the world’s martyr. You guess this world is as much of your home as it is his. Well, was his.

You look around, realizing you have never been around here before. You notice across the street a vendor selling flowers. You dig in your pocket to see if you have enough change. Crossing the street you look over the selection of flowers being offered for sell. You pay the vendor for the bouquet of flowers and walk back over to the wall of valor for a single man. A simple bow holding the bohquet together. Laying down the flowers next to the others surrounding the large portrait of the godly man, you step back to take it all in. A man that you’ve never met affects your life more than you’ve ever could imagine.

“Chrysanthemum, meaning a wonderful friend, cheerfulness, and rest. Cattail, meaning peace and prosperity. Iris, meaning your friendship means a lot, faith, hope, wisdom, and valor. Tell me miss, did you know him personally?” The little old ladies curiousity brought the attention of the crowd to you. Panic begins to fill your chest as you try to find a way to dismiss the crowd.

“He’s a friend to everyone. A savior to all. He gave us hope, faith, and peacefulness. I may not have known him personally, but in my heart it felt like I did.” You clear your throat with the intense air surrounding the crowd.

You smile at the lady, and begin to push your way out of the crowd. Your feet carrying you faster than when you first started your journey to, well, wherever your feet take you.

You stop your journey at a little café on the corner of a busy street. You stare inside the window of the shop. You can see the reflections of everyone behind you and across the street. You watch them walk by, oblivious to everything as their heads are shoved deeply in their phones.

One woman is wearing brown sandals with a red, flowery summer dress. The wind blowing it gently around her. Her long blonde hair getting stuck to her glossy lips. Another woman wearing a baggy t-shirt with ripped jeans and dirty vans. A man business arguing with someone on his phone, French pouring out of his mouth like a rapid river.

A woman exits the building behind you, long brown hair that could be mistaken for black as it flows in the gentle breeze. Her face obscured due to her looking down at the ground mostly. A tan coat wraps around her long legs. What catches your eye is her shoes, they look more like boots. Boots covered in metal. Red and gold shine brightly as the sun danced against the metal. The lady walks fast, weaving in and out of people. You turn to watch her go, feeling a strange pull towards this lady. You soon realize everyone has stopped what they were doing, as if frozen in time.

You hear the sound of heels clicking fast towards you. You manage to turn to your right only to be surprised. Diana was dressed in a gorgeous white dress. Once again in killer heels that make you ache in sympathy. Her hair braid around her head in a crown with little diamond hair pins throughout the braid. The pins give the allusion of a crown for royalty, something she could definitely rock and deserve.

“I’m so sorry I’m late. Something came up and I was needed else where. Please accept my apology as I did not mean to make you wait. Or leave for that matter.” She looks at you with such sincerity that you can’t do anything but accept her apology.

“I just felt uncomfortable with all those people around. Needed some fresh air. Besides, I’ve never been around here before. Been site seeing actually. Quite interesting here. Also, if I knew there was a café near by then I wouldn’t starve the whole day while I was sketching.” You grin up at her, trying to ease her guilt. Her blinding smile returning, bringing warmth inside of you.

“Are you hungry now? We can grab something here. I hear they have quite fantastic food here. Would you like to join me for this meal?” She asked, grin speaking volumes of her emotions.

“What, in like a date kind of way?” You smirk at her face when she realizes what she might of implied. “Well, I thought you’d never ask. After you, my majesty.” Opening the door for her, you laugh at her expression. She’s most likely flabbergasted at your change of emotion in such a short time.

Diana gracefully enters the café, dominance flowing out of her. She commands the whole rooms attention and respect without a word being said. She crosses the room to a secluded booth towards the back of the room. You hurry to catch up as she gestures for you to take a seat on the opposite side.

Just after sitting, a small, bubbly blonde comes up to your table.

“Bonjour! May I take ya orders?” Her heavy south accent is something you haven’t heard in a long while. The states have people of all kinds. Not many workers here in France have an American accent. The accent is quite refreshing to hear.

“A coffee with lots of creamer and lots of sugar. Never can go too wrong with sweet coffee. Especially after a long day.” You look to Diana, as she stares at you.

She orders, not glancing away for a second. “Coffee. Black with two sugars, please.” Her eyes seem to turn golden in the sunlight coming in from the window. Once the waitress left, Diana set her hands on the table, gently folded.

“So, Y/F/N, how long have you been here in France?”

You think a moment, trying to remember when you arrived with your group. “I think around 2 months. Actually, no, 3 months. Yes, 3 months. The is my 1st month here. We’ve been studying at the Louvre. Of course most is on your own time while we go and do things as a group every other day usually. The professor is sick so some are meeting up as small groups while others do their own thing today. We’re here for another month before we fly back state side.”

The waitress comes back carrying both the coffees. “One black with two sugas, ‘nd one super sweet. A lady after my own ‘eart. Enjoy ladies!” She skips away, back behind the counter.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you, I was wondering if we still get to do the tour? It doesn’t have to be today or anything. I’ll probably sketch something from the window of our hotel room.” You ask shyly, afraid to put a strain on your blooming relationship with this breath taking woman.

“Today is probably a bad day for me. Will tomorrow work for you?” Her relaxed body language maybe you believe maybe you didn’t mess it all up.

“Possibly. It would have to be in the morning. That afternoon I have class to go, hopefully.” You smile at her, hoping you get to hang out with her more and see all the beautiful art work he Louvre has to offer society.

You go to grab you cup when a sudden force shoves you out of your seat, sliding across the floor. Your ears ring, vision distorts. You try to focus on the moving colors. Suddenly everything comes back in force. Screams. High pitched screams everywhere. Next to you was the body of the blonde waitress who gave you and Diana your respected cups.

'Diana. Where’s Diana? She was right next to me. Across from me. Where is she.’ Your thoughts are sluggish as you try to look around, paining exploding all across your body. You curl up into a ball, sobbing in immense pain. You feel a strong arm grab around your stomach, sliding you back across the floor to the booth you were sitting at.

Someone is in your face. You manage to focus just enough to realize it’s Diana. Something about you’re safe here. Stay put and try not to move. Your senses dull back down as another wave of pain crashes over you. Red begins to fill your vision. Everything else has been shut out. 'Just survive. Just survive’ on repeat in your head.

You stare into the waitress’s unmoving eyes. Blue, blue as the ocean. On sunny days, the may have sparkled like the water. Now, now they are dull, almost gray. Your vision begins to tunnel, with only her eyes left in your site as you finally succumb to the numbing darkness.

Saved

Word count: 2952

You get kidnapped by the Gemini coven

A dark room. The only window on the wall covered with broken persiennes, dust that hasn’t been wiped off them for years, a small ray of sun shining through a couple of missing pieces of persiennes, but you still weren’t able to see where you were. You felt dizzy and weak like never before. Tied down to a chair as you jerked your arms a few times in all directions, trying to set yourself free, but it was useless. There was no way out of there and you knew it. A sharp stinging feeling rolled through your body, making you look down, your eyes finding a three inch wound on your thigh, the blood slowly dropping down on the floor under you. You cried out in pain, shutting your eyes closed for a second, panic taking over your body.

‘Well, well, well, look who’s awake.’ A male voice echoed through the small and dark room, somehow you managed to recognize it. Joshua Parker. He knelt down in front of you, a mischevious grin on his face.

'Why am I here?’ You stuttered, your eyes filled with tears, your hands shaking, but unfortunately you couldn’t hide your fear. You were scared for your life at that moment more than anything because you knew what Joshua was capable of.

'Because you, my dear, are what my son cares about the most, so to get my revenge for what he did to our family, is this.’ He replied as you swallowed hard, trying to suppress your tears and trying to stop yourself from crying out.

'So that’s what this is really about? Kai?’ You asked, your voice shaky and looked around the room, hoping you would find something, some kind of clue to get out of there.

'Well, since prison world didn’t stop him, this is what I have to do.’ He stood up, fixing his jeans and wiped his hands on them before rubbing them together, a smile disappearing from his face. 'I apologize, but, this is going to hurt. A lot.’ He used his magic and snapped the bone in your leg, a loud cracking noise echoing through the room, making you cry out in excruciating pain.

***
A loud noise echoed through the big hallway. The sound of Kai slamming the doors behind him and storming into the room where everyone worked thoroughly, trying to figure out how to get you back.
Kai knew why his father took you, but what he didn’t know and what was absulutely driving him crazy was where was he hising you. He spent hours thinking of all kinds of different places where he might’ve kept you, but when Stefan went to check them out, they were empty and no sign of you. Every failed attempt in finding you made Kai weaker and getting him closer to the point of snapping out.

'Still no sign of her?’ Kai asked out of breath, throwing the jacket down on the couch and rolling up the sleeves of his grey T-shirt.

'Still nothing.’ Damon trailed off, making Kai slam his fist on the table and groan out in frustration mixed with fear and pain and sadness.

'She’s going to be fine she’s a strong woman, I know that.’ Elena said, trying to calm Kai down a little bit, but it didn’t help. He couldn’t stop pacing around the room the entire time, driving everyone crazy.

'You don’t know my father! He’s capable of anything! He locked me in that awful prison world but before all of that, he treated me like crap for 18 years and he still does! I’m not gonna give up and sit around the house, telling myself that she’s going to be fine. We have to find her!’ Kai snapped at everyone in the room, running his fingers roughly through his hair, showing that anger took over his body completely. He was crushed and a possibility of losing you was in his mind the entire day.

'Kai! Calm down!’ Damon yelled at him and walked closer, placing his hands on his shoulders and squeezing them a few times, the tension in Kai’s body obvious under Damon’s hands. 'Well figure something out. You know we care about her and that she’s like family to all of us. She’s not going to die.’ Damon trailed off.

'I just can’t take this anymore. It’s too much for me and I- I don’t want to lose her. She’s everything to me, I can’t- I-’ his voice cracked, his hands placing on his face as he finally gave in. He was crying at that point, emotions completely getting to him, unable to control them. He was sitting on the couch, with his face burried in his hands, not wanting anyone to see him like that. He felt weak and that wasn’t one of his qualities. Even though he was crying, he was the strongest of them all and ready to fight if that would be neccessary. He felt a place next to him on the couch sink down a little bit, knowing someone joined him. He looked up and saw Bonnie sitting next to him, her hand rubbing his back in small circular motions, trying to calm him down. Bonnie and him weren’t on good terms, but she was an amazing friend and she was always there for you when you needed her. She knew that Kai means a lot to you and she would do anything to save you or him for that matter.

'If only we could use something to find her, to locate her. It would be so much easier.’ Elena said abruptly, making Bonnie to turn towards her, with her eyes wide, going through her mind because she knew there was something she could do.

'Wait here!’ She shouted and ran to, what used to be your room in Salvatore’s house, and went through all yur drawers, thrashing the room, until she finally found what she was looking for. A smile flashed across her face, because she knew that was the moment where she’d finally be sure where you were. She swiftly ran downstairs, holding a small capsule – like bottle, with a small cap on top, with red liquid, filled all the way to the top.

'What is that?’ Kai asked, a dash of hope suddenly running through his body.

'It’s her blood.’ Bonnie took out the Mystic Falls map and spread it wide on the big dark brown table, pouring some of the blood on the map, a few candles burning around it.

'Where did you get that?’ Kai asked, pointing at the bottle that was now halfway full.

'She kept it safe in her room. I guess she wanted to prepare herself for the worst and wanted us to use it incase something like this happens, and now we actually can find her.’ Bonnie trailed off, standing in front of the map, spilling out the spell as everyone watched a small drop of blood suddenly turning into a curved line, traveling around, finding the place where you were kept.

'Smart girl.’ Damon said, making Kai smiled, but Kai couldn’t take his eyes off the map, waiting for that small drop of blood to stop, revealing where you were.

'There.’ Bonnie trailed off, pointing her finger at the place, lifting her head up and looking directly at Kai. 'That’s where she is. But we have to think this thr- Where do you think you’re going?’ Bonnie asked as all of them watched him putting on his jacket and starting to walk towards the front door.

'To save my girl and to end everything once and for all.’ Kai responded.

'No, you’re not! This could be dangerous! You can’t go there all by yourself! We’ll go with you, but first we need to come up with the right plan and-’

'No! I’ve waited long enough! Who knows what could happen to her if we wait for just a little bit longer. She could be dead and I- I can’t have that.’ Kai chocked out the last part of his sentence, taking a deep breath and ran his fingers roughly through his hair.

'You could end up being hurt or killed, you know that right?’ Damon said with anger in his voice, frustrated at how stubborn Kai was, but on the other side, he completely understood him. He would’ve done the same thing if it was Elena.

'I don’t care. I’ll kill anyone who gets in my way, I promise you that. I’ll do anything to get her home safely.’ That was the last thing he said before he stormed out, slamming the doors behind you. He knew he was risking his life, but he was risking it for you, to save you and no matter the consequences, he was fully going for it, even capable of killing his own father.

***

'Please, don’t do this.’ You cried out, the pain in your leg causing your tears to keep rolling down your cheeks. At moments, the pain was so excruciating that it made your vision go black, thinking you were going to pass out. You could’ve sworn that a couple of your ribs were broken, the capability of breathing properly and normally was not possible. Everytime you breathed in, it felt like someone punched you with all their strenght, squeezing all the air from your lungs.

'Begging won’t help. You know that you’re just a bait, right? I knew I had to kidnap you because then, Kai would come after you. I know my son very well, enough to know that he would always come for you, no matter what. Even if that meant that he would end up dead.’ Joshua trailed off, making you snap out of your thoughts, distracting you from all the pain. Your eyes went wide, his words making you squirm in your chair and try to set yourself free, but like all those previous times, it was always the same outcome.

'You’re going to kill him?’ You asked, pain in your voice.

'That’s what all this is about. I’m going to give him exactly what he deserves. After causing so much pain to my family, he will die, even if that meant I would have to take myself and our entire coven down with me.’ Joshua stated, a small smile appearing on his face. You clenched your jaw, anger mixed with pain traveling through your body, wanting to punch him in the face right there for being such an annoying, grinning, bitter asshole, that deserved all the worst there is in the world.

'He won’t come, you know. He would never risk his life for me.’ But he would.

'You’re wrong there. I know your little witch friend will find a way to find you. She’s a smart girl.’

'You won’t get what you want. Never! I won’t let that happen.’ He looked at you with anger in his eyes, completely black coloured as he placed his hands on the arms of the chair. His breathing was heavy and his brows furrowed, wanting to completely snap.

'You, can’t do anything right now. The only thing you can do at this moment is scream.’ He trailed off and stood up, using his magic to cut another line on your body, this time it was your arm. Not even a second passed as blood started spilling down your arm and onto the floor, making you cry out, your body feeling like it was going to give up. You were tired and didn’t know for how long you could take this. When he finally stopped and silence filled the room, a thump noise coming from the front porch outside. Joshua looked through the window and seperating the persiennes, a smile flashing across his face when he looked back at you.

'Right on time.’ He muttered under his breath, standing on one spot and waited. You were scared for your life, but you were more scared for Kai’s life.

'Hello father. Long time no see.’ Kai said and slowly walked into the room, quiet footsteps behind you, old wooden floor squeaking underneath his body. When Kai kept walking forward, Joshua kept the same distance, walking behind you. Kai’s eyes suddenly found yours, which were filled with tears, your cheeks stained with both blood and tears, dried up blood under your nose. Kai gave you a sympathetic look and swiftly knelt down in front of you, setting your arms free, careful not to hurt you even more than you already were. You saw a glistening tear rolling down his cheek, but he quickly wiped it away with the back of his hand.

'Kai, please help me.’ You cried out and closed your eyes for a few second, your whole body in pain.

'I’m gonna get you out of here, ok?’ Kai whispered and picked you up, but when he wanted to take a step forward, his father used his magic and lifted Kai off the floor, making your body hit the hard wooden floor as you screamed out at the sudden fall.

'Not so fast. Did you really think I would let you walk out of here with her just like that? You deserve to die and that’s what I’m going to do right now.’ Joshua stated.

'Are the rest of the gemini coven members ok with that? Ok with dying? Because if they are, then that’s one hell of a dedication.’ Kai quietly said, a strong pressure on his neck.

'They’re ok with getting rid of you.’

'Then do it! Get it over with already!’ Kai snapped at him and looked at you laying on the floor, helpless.

'Gladly.’

'No!!’ You screamed out and hit Joshua’s ankle with a bigger piece of wood you found on the floor, interrupting his spell and making him scream out in pain, but it was enough for Kai to be free from the spell.

'Nobody hurts my friends and especially not her.’ Kai trailed off and with a swift motion, he broke Joshua’s neck, his body collapsing down on the floor. His breathing was heavy and deep, ignoring the fact that his father was holding a grip on his neck with magic just a minute ago. He turned his head, his gaze dropping down onto your body laying on the floor, your eyes closed.

'Hey, hey, look at me.’ Kai stuttered, his hand snaking behind your neck, lifting your body up and holding you close to his body, his right hand moving the hair from your face, that lock of hair stainef with blood. Seeing you like this, hurt and completely helpless, his eyes traveling down your body, memorizing all your wounds, his heart clenching at the sight. He felt like there was a lump stuck in his throat, not allowing him to swallow ot breathe. You finally opened your eyes, your tired eyes looking at Kai’s face above you, a weak smile appearing on your face.

'You came.’ You whispered.

'I’ll always come for you.’ Kai whispered, his arms pulling you closer to his body, making you wince a little bit. 'I can’t tell you how sorry I am.’ Kai cried out.

'It’s ok.’ Your voice cracked as you started crying, pain in your torso making your breath hitch. 'Kai, I don’t want to die.’

'You’re not going to die, ok? We’ll save you, don’t worry. Damon will be here in a few minutes, just hold on for a bit longer. You will be fine, you’ll see.’ Kai stuttered, his palm kept caressing your cheek gently.

'Thank you. For being here for me. I don’t know what I would do without you.’ You said and jerked your body a bit, Kai’s grip loosen a bit. He was worried that he had hurt you even more, his eyes scanning your body again.

'Kai, can you take some of the pain away? It’s too much and-’ At that moment Damon stormed in, making you and Kai turn your heads in his direction, showing him a smile for a split second. He dropped down on his knees beside you, biting onto his wrist, creating two small holes, allowing the blood to come to the surface. He brought his wrist to your mouth, warm blood trickling down your throat as you felt your wounds healing completely, the strength coming back to your body. You sighed deeply and wiped your chin with the back of your hand, Kai pulling you into a tight hug as you sobbed into the crook of his neck. He pulled back a bit and cupped his face, his eyes piercing deeply into yours. His lips parted a little bit before he kissed your lips multiple times, feeling your presence again.

'I thought I was going to lose you.’ He whispered and pressed his forehead on yours, his hot breath on your face.

'I was so scared. I thought I would never see you again.’ You stuttered, your voice weak as you were still sobbing.

'Hey, hey, you’re safe now, ok? I won’t let this happen again, not a chance.’

'Guys, sorry to interrupt, but we really have to go. Who knows who else could come here.’ Damon said and looked around.

'He’s right. C'mon.’ Kai said and helped you get you, his arm wrapping around your waist, helping you walk even though you healed perfectly. You loved how thoughtful and amazing he was. He was ready to risk his life for you, just so you could be safe.
After that day, Kai never let you out of his sight, constantly protecting you and making sure you were ok. What happened that day only made you realized how much you care about Kai and how much you actually love him.

Initially, I wasn’t sure how to go about this one. Then I got this idea and fell in love. It’s been a while since I’ve written for Quicksilver so it might not be my best work, but it’s light and cute and funny, and it’s got Pietro being a little shit. Thank you to @scarecrowisfugly​ for the request. Enjoy, my darlings!

Prompt: I was wondering if you could write an imagine where the reader is maybe scared of a thunder storm …and Pietro makes fun of them at first but realizes they’re really scared and comforts them…

“Truth or Dare”

This was ridiculous.

The Avengers were comprised of the most powerful people in the world – including a supersoldier, a Norse god, and a Russian assassin – and you were sat in a circle on the floor playing party games.

It hadn’t started that way. You’d all planned to go out somewhere and eat, but the weather had quickly taken a turn for the worse so Tony had suggested something else. Cooking up leftovers and pulling out alcohol, he’d suggested 7 Minutes in Heaven and Spin the Bottle before proposing Truth or Dare (a thankfully more wholesome option). Steve had countered with the suggestion of Monopoly but you all agreed that you’d like to remain friends.

Thus you watched as Pietro took his turn, reaching into the bag and pulling out a scrap of paper.
“It’s a truth,” he announced, “Who in the team would you most like to hook up with?

Keep reading

sorry for the crappy banner but i wanted to do a little something this end of the year and that’s all i got 

So, 2016 is finally ending and while overall I believe it was a shitty, shitty, shitty year for basically everybody, there were a few things and people here who made things easier, funnier and lighter for me, so I wanted to say thank you to all of you. For being there. For creating such quality content to follow. For making me laugh and cry and think, and for making me want to be a better person (I swear I’m trying). I hope 2017 goes easier on all of us, but especially you, you wonderful people. 

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@aceluz / @anthonnystark / @baetrenoora / @blue-pixiedust / @bookishdruid / @brekkerrkaz / @cassssian / @capcassianandor / @curioussubjects / @captainswanandclintasha / @calebmclaughlin / @camphollstein 

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@gallavich / @gayadhdpoe / @genellen / @ginniepotter / @icefighter / @incomparablyme / @hookedoncaptswan / @hairrington / @hux-you-up / @hippiegeekgirl 

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@jawnbaeyega / @jimhopps / @lizdexia / @lisuli79 / @ladysansan / @lawrskywalkervert / @kaorym / @kingshanewest 

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@poeedamerons / @pitchgifs / @pastel-franceschi / @rurikids / @realdiepie 

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@shesthemuscle / @skywalkertrash / @sense-i-make-none / @truegodofthearena / @tragiccomedydivine 

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@vanessaschandler / @vnessaives / @widowshulk / @wendy-daahling / @xanotos

Needless to say these wishes extend to all my lovely followers, love you all and hope to interact more with y’all this next year! If I’ve forgotten someone I truly apologize, this was really done in a haste but you are all very important to me, please know that.

Happy Holidays!

A/N: This was a bit of a challenge to write as this is the first serious imagine that I’ve done. I’ve never experienced a panic attack myself and used websites for reference, so I apologize in advance if I misinterpreted or have offended anybody who suffers from panic attacks. Thank you dumb-blood for this request. As always, I hope you enjoy<3   

Prompt:  Can you write one where you’re in college and you’re up late one night stressing about school and have a panic attack (about all your assignments) and call your bf pietro to come calm you down? (Holy run-on sentence but please!) ps your writing is wonderful

Warnings: Panic attack, swearing

______________________________________________________________

“Failing”

You ran your fingers through your hair and let out a deep sigh.

To say you were tired would be an understatement, you were exhausted.  This week had been hell for you, and I wasn’t over yet. 

Three important essays, four thick books to read, two labs to complete, and almost zero hours of sleep. You were surprised you managed to still get work done with how sleep deprived you were.  But you knew that you couldn’t slow down, maybe that’s what kept you going.  Slowing down meant less work would get done, which meant a poorer work quality when you scrambled to finish it, which meant lower grades, and before you knew it you would be failing all of your classes and forced to drop out. Some would call you dramatic for thinking so exaggerated, but they just didn’t understand, you couldn’t fail.

You wouldn’t. 

So there you sat. Tiredly typing your second essay, while already thinking about how you would tackle your third.  You were so tired. But you refused to stop.  'Therefore, Holden Caulfield called everybody a phony not out of his own belief, but out of his own insecurity’ you finished typing.  Sighing, you closed your eyes briefly. ‘Two essays down’ you thought to yourself as a proud smile played across your lips. You could do this, in three nights look how far you had come; two books read and two essays completed, you let the sweet tingling of relief wash over you.  But as quickly as you felt it, it was gone. Filled with the oh so familiar anxiety of the responsibilities that still remained. 

Your stomach dropped. Who were you kidding? You had four nights left and you weren’t even halfway done. You still had to read two books, still had to type your third (and most important) essay, and you hadn’t even started on your labs.  Factor in that you still had to go to work to keep the roof of your apartment over your head, and your mind was spinning.  This was too much. You were failing.  

A chime from your laptop brought you out of your thoughts.  Looking down at your screen, you saw you had an incoming Skype call.  Not bothering to look was calling, you denied the call. You had no time for this, you had work to do.

                                                     ~~~~~ 

Twenty minutes later, you really wanted to call it a night. You had been working for the past six hours but you knew that you had two more to go just if you just wanted to break even for tomorrow nights workload. ‘I have to keep going’ you urged yourself.  You weren’t a quitter, you refused to be. But there was so much to do, could you really keep up? A horrible truth reentered your mind.

You were failing.

Failing to get your work done, failing to maintain your social responsibilities, failing to meet what felt like every expectation. It was one big circle, but through it all one word echoed through your mind and shook you to your core.

Failing.  

Suddenly, you felt something wet on your leg, looking down you saw a tiny teardrop splattered on your thigh, followed by another. What?  Your hand gently touched your cheek only to be met by what felt like a stream. You were crying. The realization only made you only cry harder. why were you so weak?

 Gentle crying soon turned into utter sobbing and you couldn’t stop. You gasped and cried, your throat felt like it was closing. Was it always this hard to breathe?  Why was it so hard to focus all of a sudden? It felt like the world was a blur and you were caught in your own little bubble that you couldn’t break free of. You were terrified.  

As if on cue, you heard the familiar notification of an incoming Skype call.

 'no no no no NO!’ You thought.

Nobody could see you like this. 

Quickly you denied the call.  After a few moments you completely lost control, that’s what scared you the most. All you could do was shake and cry, you could barely even think. What the hell was happening to you?!

 "…Y/N?“ 

You continued to gasp for air, completely oblivious to what was happening in your surroundings.  

“Y/N!“ 

The word replayed in your mind.

Failing

Failing 

Failing.  

“Y/N!! LOOK AT ME!” Heard a voice call. 

You took a moment, your sobbing never ceasing, but you managed to look up to meet the face to which the voice belonged.  

“I need you to breathe Y/N okay? Just in and out” Pietro instructed, making motions with his hand every time he inhaled or exhaled.

Apparently in you’re panic you had hit the wrong button. Your throat still felt closed, but through your tears and daze you tried to follow his motions. 

“That is it. Just like that, good job Y/N” he encouraged, continuing to make the motions. After a few minutes, you began to breathe easier.  

“Keep on going Y/N, you are doing good” he soothed  You followed the flow of his motions. 

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale. 

Eventually, you once again had control over your breathing. The world was becoming less and less dazed with every controlled breath you took. “I’m right here Y/N” Pietro comforted.

“My hands are shaking” you said distantly “I-I don’t know what happened” you confessed “it was terrifying”.  

“I know how it feels” Pietro confessed “it’s okay now Y/N, it’s I’m right here" 

You let out a heavy sigh, wiping the tears off your face. 

"Do you want to talk about it?” He asked “I find it helps”  

You paused for a moment.  

“I-I just can’t do it Pietro. I have so much to do and so little time. I’m terrified that I won’t be able to get everything done. I-I’m failing” your voice cracked, you felt tears begin to sting your eyes again. 

“Hey, hey” Pietro soothed “it is going to be okay, yes? You are not failing. You work so hard in everything you do, but you over exert yourself Y/N.  You put way too much pressure, too much expectations. Not everything you do needs to be the best work you have ever done. If it is bothering you enough to trigger a panic attack Y/N, something has to change” he reasoned. 

Slowly, your hands began to stop shaking. “I need to maintain my average” you replied.

“Your average or your mental health Y/N? Tell me, which is more important? Having one mediocre assignment in your course will not bring down everything you have worked for, trust me”  

You took another shaky breath.

“I won’t deny that you’re right Pietro, but I’m still so stressed” you said.  

“And you have a good reason to be, but you need to take care of yourself most importantly. When was the last time you had a proper nights sleep? Ate a proper meal? Drank something that wasn’t coffee or red bull? I love you Y/N you need to take care of yourself" 

"I love you too” you muttered.  

“Are you going to be alright?"Pietro asked tentatively after a few moments of silence. Slowly, you nodded. 

"Yeah, I’ll be alright. I’m just shaken up a bit still is all. I-I think I’m going to go to bed okay? I’ll call you in the morning” you said  

“Okay dragul meu, I’m here if you need to talk later as well. Love you” he replied  

“Love you too” you said as you ended the call. 

Sitting back, you let out a sigh.  He was right. You needed rest.  Tiredly, you made your way back to your bed and wrapped yourself in the sheets. You hadn’t been this comfortable in a while.  

Inhale.

Exhale. 

Inhale. 

Exhale.  

You breathed as you continued to calm your nerves. You couldn’t do this anymore. Your constant strive for perfection was only hurting you and you knew it.  

You made a vow to yourself to get your remaining tasks done, but only done. You couldn’t handle fussing over them for another hour just to make them perfect.  You remembered Pietro’s words, ‘Your average or your mental health?’  you replayed his words in your head and sighed.

Always, you would choose your mental health.

You cuddled into your pillow and began to doze off, your mind for the first time in a long time free of the anxiety that had been haunting you.