There are some things I say to you with a very heavy heart. But they must be said out loud. They must be because I must maintain that line that dwindles ever so often between wishful thinking and a polar opposite reality.
I’m sorry if some times I don’t make sense // .a.c.
When you fuck up, and someone points out how you fucked up, no matter how upset you feel about it, take a step back and deal with your fuckup and your feelings separately.
Your apology should be about what you did wrong and how you plan to be better in the future. Thank them for telling you and giving you the chance to realize how messed up it was. You can say you regret your choice.
Your feelings of guilt/embarrassment/etc need to be handled s e p a r a t e l y.
Don’t demand that a person you just hurt comfort you through your feelings about the situation. Don’t expect them to immediately look past what you did - and the hurt it caused them - to reassure you and make you feel less bad about it. Definitely don’t give a half-assed or nonexistent apology and then attack them for causing you to experience a negative emotion.
Just apologize. Process your feelings about the situation separately with someone who agrees to that, who’s not involved in the situation.
And when you do, don’t make yourself out to be a victim there, either. It’s okay to say “What I did was wrong. Being told I was wrong brought up all these feelings I need to process and understand so I can be better.” You don’t have to make the people you hurt sound like bullies to justify being upset.
a small guide to apologizing sincerely, the right way.
apologizing for wronging someone can be really hard and sometimes we might not know how to go about it, so here’s a little guide I put together that can hopefully give some helpful tips and pointers in the right direction.
1. Acknowledge what you did was wrong, why it was wrong, and incorporate that into your apology. Example: “What I did wasn’t right and I hurt you, and that wasn’t ok. I’m sorry.”
2. As they say: “Actions speak louder than words.” Don’t say your sorry and then go and repeat your harmful actions all over again. It shows that your apology wasn’t sincere and next time they probably won’t forgive you (rightfully so). Show them you’re truly sorry by working to avoid repeating the same bad action again.
3. Own up to your mistakes. Yes, you’re not perfect and we make mistakes. We have bad days, we snap at people we don’t mean to or lose our temper in a heated argument and say things we don’t mean. However, don’t blame your actions on your mental illness, on someone else, or just try to pass the blame on to anything but yourself. Take responsibility for your actions.
4. Understand that they are never obligated to forgive you. This is really important. If you apologize and throw a fit when they choose not to forgive you, it shows that your apology was not sincere to begin with, since you were only apologizing because you wanted their forgiveness, not because you realize you made a mistake and hurt them. If someone doesn’t forgive you, it doesn’t mean you can’t move on. You’ll be ok. Learn from it and grow from it, and let it go.
“Grouped together, (fir trees) are a symbol of friendship. This symbolism is furthered by the fact that firs are evergreens. As they never loose their green vibrancy, they are a reminder of the life-long connections we share with our friends… Furthermore, their evergreen nature signifies hope, promise and renewal in the midst of the long, dark winter months…Truly, the fir is a symbol of endurance and determination ”
Earlier today, I did something that received a lot of backlash and with good reason. It was wrong and insensitive for me to talk about something that’s happening in real life and use something that is supposed to be light hearted, fun, and loving as a vehicle to raise awareness about this issue. Even worse was to drag the fandom into this painful situation.
And I am going to name it: I mentioned and used the anime series, Yuri on Ice to raise awareness of the extreme homophobia and treatment of gays in Russia. In the post, I tactlessly and poorly pointed out how unrealistic the official couple, Viktuuri, would be due to the current nature of Russia in real life in regards to their stance on Same Sex relations. To finish, I used this relationship as a reason to protest against the homophobia there.
It was wrong of me to do that.
At that time of posting, I was mindless and impulsive. I heard about the news of what is happening on Tumblr and my thoughts were to spread that news in a fandom, which I personally am a part of, as the issue of same-sex relationships are also a major part of the story. I made the connection, hoping this would further highlight the homophobia in Russia, and raise awareness.
Instead, I received a harsh reminder from the tumblr community to keep these two things separated. I was told to delete my account, that they are not real people, that my behaviour went too far, and that the problems were real and I shouldn’t have taken it so lightly when responding to it.
And you are all right about that.
I am regretting what I have done and I don’t expect anyone here on tumblr to forgive or accept my apologies for what I have done.
So, I want to say how sorry I am for what I did earlier today.
I took down the post, but I am here to tell you that it did happen earlier today at 10:30-ish GMT+11 time.
And as for deletion of this account, there are too many happier memories of Tumblr in it, so I will not delete this account. I don’t want this disaster destroy my love for this platform. It raises awareness of so many issues, has beautiful fandoms and artwork, and many wonderful people on it.
I hope that this is enough for everyone.
TL;DR- I am regretting what I did earlier, and I am sorry for my impulsive and mindless actions. I will not take this account down, but I have deleted the post. This apology post will stay just to clear things up.