(Apollon: A car? What’s that? Oh, it’s like a mechanical horse! But faster and more efficient and doesn’t poop everywhere!!)
(”As humans’ worship and faith in the gods waned, so did the powers of These divine beings,” wrote Mr. Caduceus, “and even something that used to be simple as teleportation proved to be impossible today. What’s left is Their immortality and Their memories of the past, and like humans, even They must adapt to the changing world around them.”)
From Best to Worst Drivers (a summary)
1) Thor. A very good and careful driver. Calm and collected… good. Just slightly better than Yui at driving because of his faster reflexes in case of accidents (but hey, he’s a god!). Is a hazard to others because during the summer time he will choose to drive with his shirt off and his windows open. Others can see him and become flustered (Maria’s thirst is talking here but who wouldn’t be thirsty).
2) Yui. Careful driver and quick to her feet! Very nice and lets people go ahead of her most of the time! The designated driver when everyone else is tired and or wasted. Has never gotten a ticket yet but has been in a small accident but hey, it’s the other person’s fault!
3) Thoth. Has a bit of road rage. Will cut people off on purpose when he’s in a bad mood. Was actually everyone’s driving instructor because he doesn’t trust the gods to not out themselves to a human teacher (he often yelled at his students when he was teaching them). Good driver when he isn’t pissy. Listens to nothing but audiobooks on the road.
4) Apollon. Like Yui and Thor, careful driver! Always has music playing as he drives. A pleasant driver. Usually lets others go first in a four way intersection. (Maria: I’ve… got nothing else…… sun)
5) Tsukito. Very stoic driver and obeys the speed limit at all times to a fault. ALWAYS uses his turn signal even when the street is entirely empty (bless you moon-moon). Refuses to speed up even when the flow of traffic is faster. Actually, drives slower than the speed limit just to be careful (but often pisses off other drivers lmao). Will drive in absolute silence and will refuse to converse with anyone.
6) Takeru. Has the worst roadrage. Will definitely scream at the people who cut him off. Speeds often. Will blast music as he drives (and shamelessly sing along loudly when he’s ALONE). Tells people how to fucking drive as a passenger. Will speed up really fast to run a yellow light. Won’t hit the gas pedal until a few feet away so if you aren’t wearing your seatbelt you’ll lurch forward!
7) Dionysus. Okay driver in general. A bit clumsy and sometimes forgets to look both sides when backing up. Claims he’s okay to drive when he just drank wine but Yui absolutely refuses to let him. Often forgets to turn off the lights in the car (he notices last second though). When parking and notices that there aren’t a lot of cars, he won’t bother to correct his parking if it’s bad.
8) Balder. He’s a good driver in theory… but is a road hazard and also scary to have as a driver occasionally. His foot sometimes get caught up with the pedals but always manages to catch himself and fix his mistake last second!! Has to always role his windows up because he attracts too much attention. A lot of people hit on him at stoplights. Everyone agreed that he will be the driver only on long trips where everyone else is too exhausted to drive and there is barely anyone on the road.
9) Loki. That asshole driver everyone hates. Doesn’t use his turn signals. Changes lanes so often that other drivers really wish he would just crash eventually. Speeds so often that he has a collection of tickets still unpaid that he just shoves in the front compartment. How did this guy even get his license? (Loki: lol, I didn’t.). Has already been in multiple cop chases in the past. Someone, arrest this man.