aph: baltics

Ivan paces in his room. He’s been doing this for roughly an hour now, grumbling angrily in Russian, occasionally bursting out with some enraged exclamation. On the other side of the locked door, his sisters and the Baltics stand with their ears nervously pressed to the wood. Every shout, every slammed fist makes them flinch.

“S-so, what’s he mad about this time?” Toris asks, voice hushed in case his former boss decides then to acknowledge their eaves-dropping.

Eduard is blessedly calm in his response: “I think it was something Alfred did.”

“The idiot used big brother’s vodka stash as fuel for a fire.“ Natalia, meanwhile, looks downright murderous. “He wanted to put big brother on a quitting plan, despite big brother’s wishes.”

“Shhhh, I think something's happening!” Yekaterina says none-too-quietly.

Indeed, something is happening. Ivan, still taking deep breaths, turns on his phone and opens it to contacts. A dark aura around him, he presses the call button of one particular contact.

The phone rings.

“Yellow?”

Ivan smiles innocently. "Hello, Alfred.“

"Oh, hey, what’s up?” The American perks up.

“Not much.” His eyes slip closed in content. “Just looking through old knick-knacks. It's funny how many special objects get left in some forgotten box in some forgotten room.”

Alfred laughs awkwardly. “Uh, yeah, I guess I see what you mean? Like, why keep something if it’s just going to sit there and collect dust?”

“I’m very glad you agree with me.” Ivan raises a hand, a lit match delicately held between pointer finger and thumb. Before him is a pile of every last object of Alfred’s that had been left at Ivan’s house, whether mistakenly or purposefully.

“Out with the old and in with the new-”

“Whoah, whoah, can you hold on a minute? I’m killing zombies.”

“… What?”

Alfred scowls, speaking into his headset, “Kiku, I thought you said you were covering me?”

“I am. There are too many.”

“Well, make them stop existing!”

A sigh, “Alfred-kun, I’m trying.”

“Well, try harder!”

“Alfred?” Ivan’s eye twitches.

“Yeah, just give me a few. Kiku! I said to cover me! Don’t shoot me!”

Soft laughter from Kiku’s end.

“… You’re doing this intentionally, aren’t you?” Alfred groans, “Kiku, dude, my main man, quit it.

Seeing an opening, Ivan cuts in, “You mean like how you’re making me quit vodka?”

“You’re still pissed about that? Sheesh, talk about relentless.”

The dark aura grows.

Alfred lowers his controller, expression deadpanned. “Relationships need to be balanced. I gave up McDonalds, so you have to give up vodka. Deal with it.”

“Nyet.”

“Ivan.”

“It took me months to put together that stash!”

“Ivan.”

“Alfred, I will burn everything you love!”

“What, so you’re going to set yourself on fire?”

Ivan pauses.

Kiku’s heard muttering a “Lol, wut?”

“… Can you repeat that?”

Red-faced, Alfred swallows before starting, “I, um, I said, ‘what, so you’re going to-’”

Ivan throws the phone out the window.

Natalia slams the lock-picked door open. “BIG BROTHER, DID HE JUST-?”

*Submission by the lovely @kittyreaper

Track AU (Positions and Why)

America: A sprinter. No question. Have you ever seen a sprinter? Hard work, all muscle, bursts of effort, but still kinda lazy He probably does the 200 as his main event. And he would love relays.

Russia: A thrower. I highly doubt Russia would ever run. And he’s huge. Probably the best at the hammer throw. And jav.

France: A high jumper. Yes. I am a high jumper. I can tell you, high jumpers are vain and lazy and showboats. We found a specialty and we think we’re better than everyone else and we love to be watched. 

Prussia: A pole vaulter. The more intense version of a high jumper. They never seem to be doing anything else and they are just “too cool.” Pole vaulters somehow stand apart and impress everyone even while being dorks. He could also do hurdles, but only the 100.

Germany: A thrower and sprinter. I don’t know why but I feel like the only thing that Germany would run is the 400. And only the 400. I think his main event would be the discus. 

Canada: Distance. He’s tall and lanky and is probably all zen about it. He probably does the steeple chase. To throw in some excitement. And he’s like, looong distance, like 3k and above.  

Italy: A jumper. He isn’t going to sprint or run. No way. He’s willing to triple jump and long, even try high jump, but he’s not cut out for running.

The Baltics: They’re all distance. They’re that one knot of distance runners that every team has that always does everything together and is always giggling?

England: Mid-distance. Runs the 800 mainly. Volunteered for the steeple chase once. Isn’t that good at harder events but keeps volunteering to do really hard things. 

China: Hurdler. Especially the 400 hurdles. I can imagine him putting that hair up in a bun and having it falling out each race.

Hungary: Sprinter. Yes. Short sprints. 100, 200. 

Denmark: Sprinter. Same reasons as America. They’re always on relays together.