aph: ancients

  • Ancient Rome: (Pulling a coffin out of his car) Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doin' a memorial service for the marble statue of me. Something small, but classy.
  • North Italy: Sorry, Grandpa Rome, but we've got a big break in the case!
  • Seborga: Break in the case!
  • South Italy: We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer.
  • Seborga: We have an axe! [chainsaw noise] REE, REE, REE!
  • Ancient Rome: Hm, it seem like the kind of thing that a responsible parent wouldn't want you to do... Good thing I'm a grandpa. Avenge me, kids! AVENGE MEEE!!

Chibi! Italy: It’s terrible, just terrible! I am so upset.

APH Ancient Rome: Feli, Feli, honey, sit down sweetheart, tell us all about it. Lovi, would you get Feli some water?

Chibi! Romano: What is he going to do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say: ‘Thank God, the water’s here’? Call me when dinner is ready.

Childhood Hetalia - Home live

Some insight in these three households lives. Mostly sadness.

Prussia, Germany, Germania, Spain, Italy, Romano, Rome, Britannia, Scotland & England © Himaruya Hidekaz

Building off all that thinking I’ve just been doing about why *exactly* Juri is a lesbian, I’ve been reminded that Juri is associated with the duel Amour, romantic love. Now that for me brings to mind the Latin word amor, meaning love of course, but used very specifically in Latin love elegy as the essence (often the personification) of a single, overriding, obsessive love. In Propertius 1.1 (the programmatic elegy really) when Cynthia first catches him with her eyes, Amor comes and stands on his head and subjugates his pride; the elegists slave under servitium amoris, the slavery of love; every time they attempt to do something else (like write other genres of poetry) they just keep circling back to amor. Isn’t that eminently appropriate for our favourite Lesbian Disaster? Her love for Shiori isn’t just love, but amor.

Ancients Sleeping Headcanons:

*Submission by the enchanting @kittyreaper

I really, really like the idea that all the ancients are super light sleepers, experts in the art of feigning sleep, and also keep some sort of weapon under their mattresses. A lot of them can also recognize people by their footsteps.

I think this headcanon works, as the ancients probably lived very dangerous lives. War are violence are still things in modern times, but back then… it was different. Instead of GPS, all you had were your instincts, prior knowledge of the area, and maybe a compass if you were far enough on the timeline. I believe it stands to reason that the ancients would each pick up at least one of these things.

I also believe it stands to reason that these things could lead to some pretty funny scenarios.

For example, some ideas for ancients visiting their kids/grandkids. It’s modern times and has been so long since they last visited that they can no longer recognize their kids’/grandkids’ footsteps.

Germania accidentally pulling a sword on Germany:

Germania: Um… I can explain this.

Germany: ?!

Germania: Okay, I actually can’t. I just said that to calm you down. Clearly, I failed.

Rome accidentally pulling a sword on Romano and Veneziano:

Romano: WHAT THE FUCK, NONO?!

Veneziano: AHHHHH I’M SO SORRY I’M LOUD AND CRAZY AND MAKE TOO MUCH PASTA AAAAAAHHHHHHH NONO PLEASE DON’T KILL ME I DON’T WANT TO DIE WHYYYYYYY AHHHHHHH IS THIS DIVINE PUNISHMENT FOR HAVING SEX WITH GERMANY?!

Romano: YOU DID WHAT?!

Rome: … //distressed grandpa

Germania intentionally pulling a sword on Rome:

Germania: Oh, sorry, didn’t know it was you.

Rome: … We live with each other, the fuq you didn’t-

ROMAN PUNISHMENT
  • Rome: Do you know the punishment for a slave who strikes a Roman citizen?
  • Germania, Chibi Prussia, Chibitalia and Chibimano: *raise their hands*
  • Rome: OK, you, you had your hand up first.
  • Germania: Death by torture!
  • Rome: Nooo. You?
  • Prussia: Crucifixion!
  • Rome: Wrong! You?
  • Romano: They shove a living snake up your arse!
  • Rome: Whew, ahh. No, but that's very creative!
  • Germania: They send you to the lions!
  • Rome: Right!
  • Italy: No!
  • Rome: Whaddaya mean, no? He was right! They send you to the lions!