aph: allied forces

RHINOSAURUS
  • Russia: The rhino’s not the least bit aggressive.
  • America: Not a mammal, either.
  • Russia: A rhino is a mammal, yes.
  • America: Is it? I thought it was a dinosaur. Why’s is called a rhinosaurus then, if it’s not a dinosaur?
  • China: Because it’s...not.
  • America: What do you mean ‘because it’s not’? It’s called a rhinosaurus. That’s what dinosaurs are called.
  • France: It’s a noceros, isn’t it?
  • England: Rhinoceros. Have you been calling it a rhinosaurus?
  • America: Yeah.
  • England: There’s a problem.
Allies reacting to s/o covered in nothing but a special object to them:

America/Alfred F. Jones-
Object you’d cover with: Bomber’s jacket.
He’d been looking for the damn thing for the better part of twenty minutes. He finally resolved to ask you.
“Hey, Babe, have you s-seen…” His eyes traveled over your barely covered body. Which was being blocked by his jacket.
“Guess l’m gonna be late.” Alfred purred as he climbed back into bed.
China/Yao Wang-
Object you’d cover with: Hello Kitty plush doll.
The hardest part was finding the perfect moment. It came around when he slipped away to change, so you did the same. You pulled the large stuffed animal from its hiding spot under the bed and began stripping. And you could tell it was over the second you saw his eyes. They were hungry and you were naked. All that was in his way was a toy.
England/Arthur Kirkland-
Object you’d cover with: MINIATURE UNION JACK FLAG AND YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.
You wrapped yourself in the cloth and exited the bathroom.
“Dear, have you…you…” His eyes drank you in as his face bolted to red. Without a word he approached you, toying with the fabric. Although he struggled to speak he forced it, his words begging for exit.
“I…If you wanted to be under British rule all you had to do was ask, Love.” He purred more smoothly than he thought possible.
France/Francis Bonnefoy-
Object you’d cover with: Two glasses and a bottle in your lap.
You won’t be able to walk or think straight tomorrow, not that you’re complaining. (I hope)
Russia/Ivan Braginsky-
Object you’d cover with: His scarf. ( you stole it while he showered)
When he first walked out he had fear on his face. He’d immidiantly noticed his prized possession missing. When he noticed it wrapped around your most supple area’s his towel dropped. If you were wrapped like a present he was damn sure going to have fun with the gift.

SIMPLE ELABORATE PLANS
  • England: China gave you a pill. Where is it?
  • America: I have the pill in the till.
  • England: Where is the wine for Germany?
  • America: It is here in this jug.
  • England: The pill contains a drug.
  • America: The pill in the till?
  • England: Take it and put it in there.
  • America: Put the drug in the jug?
  • France: *Comes in with some Gateau* We nearly forgot the most important thing.
  • America: Oh, my God! The Gateau from the Chateau!
  • England: What about the Gateau from the Chateau?
  • America: It contains a bomb!!!
  • England: A bomb in the Gateau from the Chateau???
  • America: It's to blow up Germany! You mustn't let anyone light that fuse.
  • England: But where is the fuse?
  • America: It is the candle with the handle.
  • England: You do not need to kill Germany, we have already arranged to kill Germany... Do you not see? That if we kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, you need not light the candle with the handle on the Gateau from the Chateau!
  • America: Simple plots are always the best.
youtube

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbmaubmHnjE)

Fight The Good Fight
Triumph
Fight The Good Fight

METAL MONDAY: Fight the Good Fight by Triumph - Growing up as a metalhead there were a few bands outside of metal that you were allowed to like and each of these approved bands was a signal.  If you liked the Doors, you were into drugs, if you liked the Sex Pistols, you were into anarchy, and if you liked Rush, you were a nerd.  The Canadian power trio Triumph never really fit on the list though, despite writing plenty of heavy, metal-approved stadium anthems throughout the late 70’s and early 80’s.

One of the the better anthems, and an inspiring one at that, is the tune Fight the Good Fight.  Rik Emmett is both a phenomenal talent on vocals and on guitar, and both shine through on this track from the 1981 album Allied Forces.  The song starts with a good hook, but starts to really kick into metal mode around the 3:10 mark with a ripping Jimmy Page-esque solo.  It is unfortunate that Triumph gets relegated to the classic rock dustbin, cause they have plenty of tunes that stand up well even today.