aph-serbia

an oddly extensive list of aph bulgaria headcanons
  • his human name is Stephan Borisov. he was “born” around the seventh century.
  • he comes off as cool and aloof but he’s usually screaming on the inside
  • he’s a pretty heavy smoker. he tried to quit in the 30s but he started again in the 60s
  • we’ve all heard the yoghurt thing. but he’s so smug about it you can’t even imagine. do you think this is a game? think again, motherfucker
    • “wow, is that yoghurt? did you know that i invented that?”
    • the same thing goes for the cyrillic alphabet. them baby slavs ain’t got shit on him
  • he literally never wears shirts when he’s home alone. ask him why and you’ll get a halfhearted shrug
  • he is, objectively, the most fashionable nation in the balkans. are you wearing leather pants, romania?
  • he finds all of the nordics to be very attractive.
  • the younger nations tend to look up to him. meanwhile, he panics in a corner
    • what if they want to talk to me? what if i mentions something weird?
    • probably smiles awkwardly when small children stare at him. the fucker waves too. stop being so cute
  • he tries so hard to be a good person
    • his heart’s in the right place. his, morals, however…
  • he sleeps face down. it’s honestly a miracle that he hasn’t suffocated yet.
  • he looks to be in his mid to late twenties. yeah, he’s younger than england (23), but dude he had two empires. get on his level.
  • half the year he looks like vanilla ice cream, and the other half he’s tan af
  • his eyes are so green man they’re so fucking green
  • he’s not as well muscled as Actual Confirmed Bears™ Russia and Turkey but he’s still got the bod
  • he doesn’t really have all that many relationships outside of the balkans because this is europe. it’s hard to keep friends when everyone’s attacking someone else.
  • and relationships inside the balkans are…complicated
  • he and romania are “pals”, but they’re the type of “pals” who will fuck and then sleep on opposite sides of the bed
    • basically they’re dating but they’re both such dicks that they can’t be bothered to be nice to each other
  • he and hungary are like siblings. they hate each other, but in a friendly way
  • stephan would willingly throw serbia out a window, but will also defend him to the death.
    • it’s complicated
  • he’d rather not talk about turkey. they’ve got so many years of history. both good and bad (sorry, bad and bad), that’s it’s very hard to define whatever they’ve got. rn they nod at each other in a friendly way on smoke breaks and try very hard not to punch the other
    • it doesn’t work all that well
  • greece? who’s greece? i don’t know him?
  • all of the balkans band together to protect moldova. he’s so small and cute. u can’t touch him.
    • half the time they’re the ones scarring him with their weird fucking antics.
    • no, stephan, you can’t smoke when the kid’s in the room
  • outside of the balkans? he probably gets along with all of the former soviet bloc nations pretty well, though this is more out of a feeling of mutual sympathy than from actually liking them
  • his relationship with russia is just “stay the fuck away from me and i won’t kick your ass”
    • (he can’t kick russia’s ass)
  • honestly? he’s an awkward nerd who used to have an empire but just wants to eat yoghurt and watch anime nowadays
    • kids are too wild these days. back in my day we used to hit each other with sharp objects and fall asleep in trees
9

Serbia and Bulgaria’s relationship, plus the introduction to the Balkan wars. History of the Balkans is truly amazing; betrayal, drama and friendship keep going in circles.

I suppose this is the first part. The second will deal with the Balkan wars more specifically.

Hope you enjoy.

*In caaase anyone’s interested, the “Štip štipidi dip dip” thing in the first page is Serbia singing one of Bulgaria’s songs..It really was a popular song in Serbia at one point. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx5pMbUFoZM

*As for Macedonia, she did actually manage to fight off Turkey once, but unfortunately freedom didn’t last for too long.. Nonetheless, back then she was the first  republic in the Balkans! It’s an interesting topic and I’d love to do a separate post to portray it.

Balkan Road Trip
  • Croatia: spread out over the whole backseat and complains about people being in his space
  • Bosnia and Herzegovina: spends all their time finding new things to throw out the window, including the map
  • Slovenia: tries to be the boss of everyone and threatens to turn the car around but no one listens
  • Serbia: somehow starts World War 3 by sneezing
  • Montenegro: hides in the passenger seat the whole time listening to 80's pop and doing dot-to-dots
  • Kosovo: in the middle row asking continually if they can stop because he has to go to the bathroom again
  • Macedonia: the late night driver who is totally in control of everything and likes to keep the radio on at volume nine billion
  • Albania: gets his fingers slammed in the door by Slovenia and starts a huge fight in the CBA parking lot
  • Greece: finds a snail and secretly keeps him in a McDonald's cup, feeding him dandelions and cucumbers
  • Turkey: discovers Greece's pet snail and sets him free in the forest at 3 am, replacing the snail with a rock
  • Romania: puts himself in charge of all the money and "loses" it
  • Bulgaria: makes the whole car smell like cigarettes along with Serbia and has the incredible ability to find a liquor store anywhere
  • Moldova: sits up in the front with Montenegro and helps him with the dot-to-dots and cries a lot
aph serbia, aka the prince of my heart
  • vuk mišić- tall af, very strong jawline, stylish and trendy undercut, constant stubble, eyebrows that could either kill you or combine into a monobrow
  • he’s not vain,,,,but he sometimes refuses to leave the house if his hair doesn’t look good
  • his eyes are hazel-ish and romania and hungary have a running argument over whether they’re green or brown
  • he and poland have spoken exactly three times, but bulgaria once made a comment about how “real slavic languages use the cyrillic alphabet” and they teamed up to break his spirit and take away everything that makes him happy
  • he smiles a lot. when talking to his family that smile usually resembles a grimace.
  • romania keeps making jokes about him working on his flynn rider cosplay. serbia still hasn’t seen tangled and is very confused
  • he likes to think that he’s cool and follows trends, but he resembles a soccer mom that wants to connect with her children
    • “what’s hip hop and happening, vojvodina”
  • he and romania cuddle on the couch and buy each other flowers and spend romantic evenings together but they still refer to each other as “bros”
    • “bro the lightbulb died”
    • “your eyes light up the whole room, bro”
    • “that’s really sweet, bro, but i can’t see”
  • back to the hair thing. i have almost the same haircut as serbia and let me tell you, if i do not fall asleep on my left side with my head at a 60 degree angle with a bobby pin holding back 127 strands and the blood of a long dead ancestor on my pillow and my fan facing north-northeast my hair will not look good. imagine all the elaborate rituals he has.
  • he smokes three thousand cigarettes a day but as soon as srpska walks in he will put them out in whatever liquid is nearest
    • he once used croatia’s coffee while he was out. croatia later drank that coffee. needless to say, the day did not end well for vuk.
  • his voice is deep and raspy in serbian, but as soon as he starts speaking english his voice jumps up three octaves.
  • he’s not usually a crier when it comes to sad movies but a large wolf-like dog licked his face and romania swears on his life that he teared up
    • the truthfulness of this cannot be verified by any of the balkans. vuk’s so extra that it probably happened.
  • he and montenegro fight daily about who had the hairstyle first
  • when he’s drunk it’s so easy to convince him to do things it’s not even funny
    • “hey who’s that hot girl over there? the one with the leopard print skirt”
    • “that’s vuk”