StrasHouse #2: The Banished Brit
  • Though he was always banned from the kitchen, England was permanently banned from the house after the results of the Brexit vote were finalized (which he didn’t even have a say in)
  • This really sucks for him because he paid for a good portion of furniture that he is never getting back
  • “But I really liked that end table…!”
  • France was all for the banishment, and Germany was supposedly neutral to the suggestion (though he went along with France’s idea)
  • England still swears he saw the latter smirk when they took his house key
  • Said house key was given to Sweden later after he won a vote for who should have it
  • Ever since he was banned, the house has seen a minor, but still noticeable, increase in the amount of non-EU and even non-European countries that have been invited to stay over
  • Scotland in particular has received 3x the amount of invitations from France to hang out at the house since England got kicked out
  • England is still determined to get inside though, or at least get his furniture back
  • He’s tried to sneak in multiple times, as well as ask, manipulate, flatter, flirt, and even in one case, beg other EU members to let him in
  • He’s actually succeeded more than once, but every time he takes even a single footstep through the door, France’s “England-sense” goes off and he calls the house phone to make sure everything’s okay
  • The sound of that phone ringing has officially moved up to being one of the top 15 things that annoy England
  • Because it means failure
  • And also being constantly foiled by fucking France
  • On the bright side of his banishment, England hasn’t been drinking or getting drunk as much since he was banned from the seemingly endless alcohol supply house! So that’s good!!!
  • But in all seriousness this isn’t the first time England has been kicked out of the house
  • He was kicked out for three months after breaking rule #1 and setting fire to the kitchen
  • He was actually supposed be banned for an entire year that time, but he was let off the hook after giving a formal (also extremely bitter) British apology
  • Though England thinks the ban on him from the house is permanent, it actually isn’t
  • Everyone has already decided ages ago that the house ban on England will be lifted after the Brexit process is finished in 2019
  • He just won’t have a key because he won’t be a member of the EU anymore

Initially inspired by that time I was in the Netherlands and paid attention to the language for the first time and lost my mind because I thought the posters at stores were talking about death. Compounded by hanging out one time with a French person and a Dutch person.
Germany’s most famous poet wrote a poem about the skull of his dead best friend that he stole btw.