apes with good taste

Kong: Skull Island
  • Kong: Welcome to Skull Island! My name's King Kong. What's yours?
  • Tom Hiddleston: Tom.
  • Kong: So what are ya, some kind of action hero?
  • Tom Hiddleston: I'm an explorer.
  • Kong: That's cool.
  • Tom Hiddleston: I guess.
  • Kong: You don't say much, do ya? Who's your friend?
  • Tom Hiddleston: This is Brie.
  • Kong: OMG! Is that Brie Larson? Girl, I loved you in Room!
  • Brie Larson: Oh, um, thank you.
  • Kong: You know, people are always so surprised when I say I loved that movie. It's like they've never met a giant ape with good taste in movies before or something. I tell ya, girl: Just because I'm a big hairy monster doesn't mean I don't appreciate emotionally riveting drama. I bawled my eyes out while watching you in that movie. You totally deserved the Oscar.
  • Brie Larson: Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
  • Kong: Liked it? Girl, I loved it! Would ya mind signing this copy on Blu Ray for me?
  • Brie Larson: Sure.
  • Kong: Oh gee thanks! Hey, do you guys like mojitos? I make a killer mojito.
  • Samuel L. Jackson: I like mojitos.
  • Kong: Get out of here! Sam Jackson, you're here too?
  • Samuel L. Jackson: You'd better believe it, Kong!
  • Kong: It just keeps getting better and better. Did you guys know I'm already friends with John C. Reilly?
  • Brie Larson: I didn't know that.
  • Kong: Well it's true, and he and I are having a big blow out later tonight at my place. There will be music, dancing, and plenty of mojitos. You all are more than welcome to come.
  • Samuel L. Jackson: Count me in!
  • John Goodman: Me too!
  • Kong: Whoa! John Goodman, of "Rosanne" fame? I feel like I've died and gone to frickin' celeb heaven over here!
  • Tom Hiddleston: Hey, how come you know who they all are, but you didn't recognize me? I'm famous too.
  • Kong: Oh, I recognized you, Tom Hiddleston. I just didn't want to acknowledge you because I don't care for how you broke poor Taylor Swift's heart.
  • Tom Hiddleston: She broke up with me, actually.
  • Kong: And I'm sure she had a very good reason for doing so.
  • Tom Hiddleston: Can we not talk about this anymore?
  • Kong: Sure, let's drop it... Well, I've gotta run, gang. Got a big party to prepare for, ya know. See you all tonight!
  • Brie Larson: Do you need me to bring anything?
  • Kong: Oh Brie, you're such a sweetheart for asking that, but all you need to bring is that beautiful face of yours. I've got plenty of snacks and drinks to go around.
  • Brie Larson: Okay. See you later.
  • Kong: This is going to be the best party ever!
  • END SCENE
  • -Joe

Jane Austen’s Regency World:

Albert, a 200lb (91kg) primate reads up to 50 pages a day of Austen’s book.

And he’s so gripped that unless he’s had at least half-an-hour of Elizabeth Bennet’s travails with Mr Darcy, he won’t sleep at night.

Link thanks to our book critic Maureen Corrigan, who will have an appreciation of Pride and Prejudice on the show today in honor of the book’s 200th anniversary.