Okay so 2 years ago I went through a tormenting year-long journey into discovering my sexuality. I am an 18 y/o lesbian and I'm still confused. I came out to a few of my friends on my own terms, but my mum outed me last year (thankfully to no one else apart from my dad), and the whole thing was kinda traumatic. Now I feel extremely guilty and anxious whenever I picture dating/living with another girl. Is it a normal thing to feel guilty about? It's making me feel uncomfortable in my skin :/
You shouldn’t feel guilty about your sexuality. If anything, it sounds like you may have a case of PTSD from this traumatic outing experience. Follow mental-health-advice-page for more mental health advice.
I forgot to mention but when I came back from Ithaca on Thursday one of the things that was waiting for me was a belated birthday present from my hometown best friend. She’d sent me a tire pressure gauge (which she’d been wanting to get me ever since she heard I’d be getting a car - she’s a woman of her word), a prepaid gift card (which I used to take @zeoia out to dinner with that night), and a birthday card… with this ribbon inside.
I didn’t cry but I kind of wish I had because this is HUGE. Apart from my family, Marissa was one of the last holdouts in misgendering me because of an inexplicable stubbornness on her part, despite the fact that I’ve been out as nonbinary for five years now. She once tried to claim that singular they was arrogant because it reminded her of the “royal we,” and when I tried to send her an article from Everyday Feminism (yeah, I know, but some stuff there is legitimately good and it seemed like the kind of thing she’d listen to) about why misgendering is shitty she accused me of calling her abusive because of that. Her poor reaction to that made me cry for a long time afterward and I’d pretty much written her off up until just now, and at times I’d even wondered if I’d have to cut her off eventually because of it. But this - at least I hope - is proof that she’s come around. If nothing else it showed her that I’m not alone in feeling this way (she got it at a Unitarian conference and the pronoun ribbons were to be added to nametags) and that she’d run out of excuses for feeling how she once did. I’m gonna put this up in my work office to help out new folks and old folks that need a reminder.