Lillian stares at the empty pages of her journal. She had yet to dip the quill into her open ink jar and she steadily taps it slowly onto the pages. Her light blue eyes continue to stare at the pages, her teeth biting her lower lip as she tries to think of what to write. After a few more minutes, she finally dips into the ink.
It’s been a while since I have written in this journal. I suppose the first thing I should start with is that Stephenn is back, has been back for a while now, yet he’s lost an entire fleet of ships as well. I see the revenge he seeks in his eyes. I hear it in his voice whenever the subject is brought up. The Ensemble have gone too far this time around and the generals that we know of are going to pay with their lives and it will be by his hand.
While he was away, the man named Tilarin has tried to take my life from me several times. I haven’t told Stephenn of these transgressions and I made light of what has really happened while he was away. Tilarin has disappeared and while I possess two of the soul stones of Sitiri, I fear that he has gone off to find the others or to perhaps guard over them. There is something I have seen in his eyes though when the demon woman is mentioned. It’s pure hatred and the burning need to find these jewels for himself so that he himself can end her life and gloat as he does so. Perhaps I should contact him and make a deal with him. That if we or I were to help him acquire the rest of the soul gems, then perhaps together we can take her down. I know, however, how Stephenn will look at this suggestion. He’ll turn it down and probably wish to end Tilarin himself. He’ll say that we don’t need his help, that we can do it on our own.
I fully believe this notion. We -can- do it on our own. Every day that passes, I can feel the gems pulsing with the lives that she’s stolen. One is in uncharted territory, territory that I am not sure we can even reach ourselves.
Lillian sighs heavily at re-reading what she had so far and dips in once more.
I do wonder if and when Stephenn and I will marry. I also wonder… Well, I wonder if he still even wishes to marry me. He’s been gone for so long and I do have doubts about his want of me. As I write this, however, I know that if he does not wish to marry me anymore, I am fine with it. It’s a learning process. Look at how far I have come because of him, though. If I had not met him, I do not think I could have gotten through my fathers death. I do not think I could have gotten through with the fact that this was not my mother saying these harsh things to me, but a demon who had killed her months before hand.
There are a lot of things I would not have been able to get over without him helping me through it all. I would not be in the position that I am now. I would not be as powerful as I am now without his help in guiding me through it all.
I’ve been hiding in this Cathedral since Tilarin’s last attack before Stephenn came back. I think it’s time to go out, unafraid and with my head held high. It’s time to reconnect with those that I was supposed to help aide.
She sits back in her chair and begins to clean the ink from her quill. Once that is done, she places the quill next to the open journal, letting the ink dry. She moves towards her wardrobe and pulls the nightgown from her person, dressing in her favorite robes. She places a hood upon her head and pulls it low to cover her face. If Tilarin was in the city, which she doubted, she at least wanted to be able to hide from him.
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