anyway yeah this part killed me

Alex + Magnus things
  • It’s a well known fact that Magnus can be an absolute idiot sometimes, so he literally ignores his giant crush on Alex until it makes life impossible to live with. 
    • Like, he’ll walk into a room, see Alex, and promptly walk out. 
    • He’s watched Alex fight and forgotten that he’s a part of the team, too, and gotten all his teammates killed. 
    • He also asked Alex to “help him make a vase for his cousin.” Yeah, sure, Magnus. Make a vase for your cousin. Like that’s not a thinly-veiled “SPEND TIME WITH ME PLEASE”. 
  • Anyway, one day he’s sitting in the library or something and Halfborn, Mallory, and TJ sit down and are like, “Magnus, we need to talk.”
  • Sam’s there, too. Just, she’s pretending to mind her own business.
  • Anyway, “Magnus, we need to talk,” happens. And all of them are like, “Go ask Alex out. You’re killing us here. LITERALLY.”
  • And Magnus is like, “What? Me? Have a crush? IMPOSSIBLE.”
  • And Mallory’s like, “I am not dying for this one more time. Do you know how hard it is to get rid of the headaches caused by arrows in the eye? I didn’t think so!”
  • So Magnus loses and “has to” ask Alex out. 
  • So he walks up to Alex, who is sitting in her room doing pottery, as usual, and is like, “DoyouwanttogooutonadatewithmebeforetheworldendsorsomethingbecausemyfriendsthinkI’mliterallykillingthembywatchingyoufightandnotlookingwhereI’mpointingmyswordandIkindofthinkthiswouldbeforthebenefitoftheNineRealmsorsomething.”
  • Alex is obviously confused. What the hell? Was that even English? It didn’t sound like Old Norse.
  • And because Alex pretty much says whatever comes to mind, what comes out of her mouth is, “Was that English?”
  • So Magnus has to slow down and repeat everything again.
  • Cue the appearance of Sugar Glider Alex, who comes up when Alex gets nervous. 
  • And Magnus is like, “Wave your tail once for yes, twice for no, like a seance.”
    • Alex turns back into Human Alex and gives him the best “What the fuck is wrong with you?” face she can possibly muster. Obviously it’s a yes, the question was just a little sudden.
  • And so Magnus spends the next week stressing about what he’s going to wear and where he and Alex should go, and “Are first dates ice skating and holding hands or sledding and knocking each other into the dirt?”
    • Mallory: “It’s summer, idiot.”
    • TJ: “I don’t think Alex ice skates.”
    • Halfborn: “There’s dragons on Thursdays!”
  • Magnus and Alex end up going hiking, because both of them like hiking. And then they end up at Hearth and Blitz’s place for a movie. Kind of like a double date with Magnus’ adoptive parents but… not?
  • Alex and Hearth get along really well. Alex asks Hearth to teach him how to swear in ASL, and Hearth is more than happy to oblige. Blitz and Magnus then make it a competition: Who can come up with the most outrageous sentence in ASL?
    • Hearth. Hearth can. No question. Hearth is the master of sentences that should never see the light of day. And he thrives on the light of day. 
    • But Alex’s sentence isn’t bad. It’s definitely not something you’d say in front of polite company. Or company at all. 
  • Magnus walks Alex back to his room, because that’s the sort of thing you’re supposed to do on a date, right?
    • Wrong. Alex turns right around and walks Magnus back to his door. Because he honestly doesn’t think Magnus won’t fall over his own two feet or get hit by a dragon. (See, Magnus? When you act like an idiot for weeks, everyone starts thinking you’re a disaster waiting to happen!)
  • And then there’s the whole bit of whether or not they should kiss at the door, because it’s just a first date and all that. 
    • Alex decides yes. Magnus decides yes, too. 
  • TJ, Mallory, Halfborn, and Sam have all gathered in the hall and are exchanging bets. 
    • Magnus slams the door in all of their faces and Alex has the last laugh when Halfborn trips on his way back to his room, taking Mallory, TJ, and Sam down with him. 



If a radio talk show host happens to be discussing Jeffrey Dahmer and I happen to be in the room:

Host: Jeffrey Dahmer, he was a serial killer who killed like, 17 people and was caught in 1991 or 92?

Me: He was caught in July 1991.

Host: He was convicted like, 16 life sentences.

Me: 15

Host: Yeah, whatever. Anyway, he used to like drill holes in the top of these guys skulls and ate some of the men. He did that as some sexual thing and wanted to like, keep a part of them with him forever. What led him to being caught was when one guy escaped his apartment and alerted police officers who happened to be cruising around and they went there and that’s when they went in and found all those body parts lying around.

Me: What really happened was that this one man whom he tried to drug, but this guy wasn’t a drinker, so he ended up pulling a butcher knife and slapped a handcuff on one of his wrists and held him hostage. At one point, the man, Tracy Edwards hit Dahmer and then made his escape and flagged down a police car. Edwards only wanted the cuffs removed and the police followed him to Dahmer’s apartment and they went in to retrieve the key to the cuffs. One of the officers noticed a bunch of polaroids of bodies in various stages of dismemberment and saw they were taken in that very room, which prompted the officers to arrest Dahmer as they then knew they had a murderer on their hands.

Host: Thank you for your factual information on all the details. It creeps me out how much you know about that guy. Anyway, a few years later, Jeffrey Dahmer got killed in jail by another inmate -

Me: Prison. There is a difference between jail and prison and Jeff was killed on November 28, 1994 by an inmate who attacked him over the head with a metal rod he took from weight lifting equipment in the gym of the prison while Jeff was cleaning the restroom.

Host: ..Did you just call him “Jeff”?

Me: Well, Jeff is short for Jeffrey.

Host: *mumbles* You weird little know-it-all, smartass, shit…


Bye, Bobby!

Originally posted by loki-silver-tongued-god

Requested by rosesbabygirl: Can you do a part 4 of Sexology 😂 it’s amazing

WORDS: 206


A/N: I think this one sucks, anyway, sorry

Y/N P.O.V.


I jump when I hear my father. Stiles kiss me again and ran to the field. I wave at him and he laughs, my dad walks at me.

“What are you doing?”

“I was wishing him a good luck.”

“Yeah. I saw that!”

My dad rolls his eyes and the game starts. Allison sits next to me and I hug her.

“How’s your relationship with Stiles is going?”

“We’re fine. I mean, my dad keeps trying to kill him but…. Yeah, that’s progress.”

Allison laughs.

“What about you and Scott?”

“We’re doing really well.” She smiles.

“I’m happy for you.”


“I was terrible!” Stiles said and I hug him.

“You did pretty well, Stiles.”

“No. I didn’t! I suck at Lacrosse.”

“I agree.” I heard my father yelling.

“See? Even your fa-” I kiss him.

“You did pretty well, Stiles.” I repeat.

“If you’re saying.” He smiles.

“This is ridiculous.”

“Dad, please, stops talking with him like that. He’s my boyfriend now.”

“I don’t really care, sweetheart.”

“Anyways. I’m sleeping on his place tonight.”


“You heard me dad. Bye, I love you!”

“Bye, Bobby” Stiles says.

“Oh, Stilinski, if I were four years younger I’d punch you!”

“What? That doesn’t make any sense…”

Five Minutes [part ii]

here is part dos! i hope you like it. I tried to make it as parallel to the og story line as i could. i’m really loving this character. it’s in the reader’s pov but i kinda wrote it as how i would react and shit. so ..yeah anyway my requests are once again open so feel free to send me requests!! love you boos

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: there are spoilers stuff, because i made it the same storyline pretty much.

A/N: also can we just: peter. that’s all.

“Five Minutes [part ii]”

part i

part iii

part iv

The room was thick with awkward silence, and it was killing you slowly. You sat uncomfortably as Tony interrogated Peter about his Spider-boy skills. This has been going on for a too long. Just when you were about to interrupt them, Tony speaks up.

“So you guys wanna look out for the little guy. You wanna do your part. Make the world a better place all that, right?” Tony asks with a tight smile. Peter opens his mouth to talk, but you cut him off.

“Excuse me if I sound rude but…what are you doing here, exactly?” you ask with as much politeness you can muster from your bitter, mean self.

Keep reading

Hook Man - Part 1

Word Count: 2372

Pairing: Eventual DeanxReader

Warnings: Language, some blood 

A/N: So sorry this took so long. My life has been pretty shitty lately. 

Tagging: @letsgetoutalive @aprofoundbondwithdean @pb-5minutefanfiction @spnfanficpond @desiringspnimagines @blacktithe7

Series Rewrite Masterlist

“Deannnnnn!” you whined, drinking your coffee. 

“Whattttttt?” he mocked you. 

“Did you find a case yet? I’m so bored!” 

“Maybe.” He said. “Why are you so damn eager to go on a hunt anyway? Doesn’t your head still hurt?” he smirked at you. 

“Yeah, but this is so boring it’s killing me!” He just laughed at your whininess. 

“Wait until Sam comes back, I’ll show you both together.” He promised. 

“SAM! Get your ass over here, now!” you yelled out to him, as he hung up the payphone across the street. He walked back over to Dean and you. 

“What?” He asked.

 “Dean might have a case!” You bounced. 

“…..ok….don’t you wanna know what I found out on Dad first?” 

“Oh, right. Yeah. Absolutely!” you motioned for him to continue. 

“Your half-caf double vanilla latte is getting’ cold over here, Francis.” Dean said, motioning for Sam to take a seat. 

“Bite me.” Sam snarked, taking a seat. 

“So…anything?” Dean asked. 

“I had ‘em check the FBI’s Missing Persons databank. No John Doe’s matching Dad’s description. I even ran his plates for traffic violations.” Sam explained. 

“I’m tellin’ ya, I don’t think Dad wants to be found. Anyway, check this out.” Dean said, sliding the news article over toward Sam and you. “It’s a news item out of Planes Courier in Ankeny, Iowa. It’s only about 100 miles from here.”

Keep reading


“It kills me to say this, but you’re actually a tiny bit gifted.”
“How would you like it if I said to you, ‘It kills me to say this, but you’re actually a tiny bit beautiful’?” he had asked, pissed off.
She hadn’t said anything then, which was rare for her.
“Would you have been lying?” she said after a long silence.
“Lying about what?”
More quiet.
“About me being a tiny bit beautiful.”
“Shit, yeah.” 

But later that night, he had sent her a message on MSN.
Of course I was lying. The “tiny bit” part, anyway.

It's You Part 4 - Luke

Unedited as usual, because I’m lazy. I hope you like it though. I like my idea for the next part. You may not 😬 Anyway, let me know your thoughts!

First three parts are on my Masterlist!


“We have two couches” Ruby raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t start” you groan.

“I’m just saying!” She throws her hands up, “he didn’t need to sleep in your bed. I mean, I’d kill for Lu to sleep in my bed.”

“Ruby?” Your brow furrows as her eyes glaze over

“Sorry, I got distracted” she grins.


“Have you seen him?!” Ruby has never understood your calmness around Luke, as though you weren’t interested in his looks.

“Yeah, I’ve seen a lot of him” you roll your eyes.

“Don’t make me jealous” she winks.

“I don’t know what to do, Rubes” you need to get back to the matter at hand.

“You have two guys in love with you” her voice is deadpan “poor you.”

“Luke is not…this isn’t…I…shut up”

“They even had a fight over you” she laughs “you’re like Helen of Troy.”

“You’re hilarious”

“Does Will make you happy?” She finally becomes serious.

“We’re going through a rough patch, that’s all” you mumble, “if Luke wasn’t here, me and him would sort it out and be fine”

“But Luke is here”

“For how long?! He’ll go back to Australia at the end of the year!” You finally tell her the reason for your holding back.

“But he’s here now!” Ruby argues back.

“I don’t want to have to say goodbye to him again. It was bad enough the first time.” You couldn’t imagine walking away if you were more than just friends.

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you, I don’t think he’s going anywhere without you, Y/N” Ruby says gently.

“Is my head just getting turned by something new and shiny?” You whisper.

“As shiny as Luke is, I don’t think this is that. You and Will would end sooner or later, Luke is just the push you need.” She can see how much happier you are around Luke.

“Me and Will were happy. I did love him.” You’re aware of your use of past tense.

“You said did. You don’t anymore.”

“I need to talk to him. I need to forget about Luke for a second, focus on myself, not a boy.” You weren’t brought up to just give up or run from your problems.

“It’s hard to ignore Luke when he looks like that though” she sighs.

“Will you stop?!” You laugh.

“What’s he like in bed? I know you obviously just slept, but is he a cuddler? A duvet hogger?” Ruby has thought too much about this.

“He just kinda wraps himself around you” you rest your chin in your hand as you remember the way his face nestled into your neck, his arms holding you against his body.

“That’s so cute”

“Not really, he’s huge and you get too hot” you snap yourself out of your thoughts.

“I still wouldn’t mind” she shrugs after a moments consideration, “so, who are you going to choose?”

“This isn’t a choice!” You argue “This is not some love triangle. This is a weird situation that I don’t like and don’t want to be in.”

“You have two very hot guys in love with you. Kinda sounds like a love triangle, Bella Swan.” You wish she’d be a bit more helpful.

“Are you Team Will or Team Luke?” You decide to give up with getting her help.

“I think everyone is Team Luke, yourself included.” She laughs, “You just don’t want to hurt Team Will. The team that consists of one person: Will.”

“I’m acting like I’m the only person in this. I’m not.” You feel selfish.

“Go and talk to Will”

“And say what?”

“I can’t help you with that, my dear. You need to be honest with him and yourself.” She places her empty mug in the kitchen sink and heads towards the door.

“I don’t like it when you’re all right and wise” you scowl.

“I have my moments” she looks smug as she walks away.


“Will..” Your eyes are wide as you take in the sight around you. You told him you needed to talk and he’d invited you round for tea. You’d expected the usual takeaway or frozen pizza.

“I know I’m a rubbish cook” he laughs, “but I don’t think I’ve burnt anything yet.”

“You’re making us dinner?” You didn’t know he knew how to make anything.

“Yeah, I think we need to make more effort with each other. Especially me. I’ve been taking you for granted and I’m sorry.” He looks sheepish.

“Will..” You begin again.

“I know I’m a jealous dick, I know that. I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to be. Just…me and you haven’t been good lately and I see how happy you are around him. I don’t make you feel like that.”

“Will” you sigh, the guilt rising within you, “you can’t tell me what to do, you can’t tell me who I can be friends with. That isn’t a relationship. That’s messed up.”

“I was angry when I said that, I didn’t mean it. I’m not asking you to stop being friends with him. Be friends with him.” His eyes are wide as he panics over his previous words.

“We need to talk” you run a hand across your forehead, a dull ache already forming.

“I know, I know we do” Will moves towards you, “I just think this is a rough patch though. It’s not worth giving up, right? I love you and I think we can fix us. We’ll be okay, just please don’t give up.”

“Is there anything to fight for anymore?” You whisper.

“I think there is” he takes hold of your hands, “I love you and I don’t want to lose you. This is just a rough patch, that’s all.”

“My head is all over the place” you mutter back, “I don’t know how I feel about anything.”

“We can be us again, we can make this right, Y/N” his hand cups your chin, “just don’t give up on us, please.”

“Okay” you whisper, “we can try and fix this.”


You could feel Luke’s eyes on you, feel the focus of his glare on Will’s hand in yours. He was leaving. He’d go back to Australia and you’d have to say goodbye to him all over again. You couldn’t give up your relationship for a brief fling with someone you knew would be walking away.

“Ow!” You shout out as a shoulder barges into you.

“You were in my way” a girl you recognise from various house parties eyes meet yours, a cold look in them.

“Ever heard of excuse me?!” You argue, quickly remembering her name as Emma.

“You realise you’re nothing special, right?” She leans towards you before leaving without another word.

“Wh-what the hell was that about?” You turn to Will, who’d been silent during the exchange, “I don’t even know her!”

“She’s drunk and looking to fight with someone, ignore her” he shakes his head, not meeting your eye.

“But she seemed really angry!” You don’t let it drop.

“Babe, she’s no one, don’t let her ruin your night” he presses a kiss to your forehead, “drink?”

“Please” you mutter as he walks away, your mind still confused about both Emma and Will’s reaction to her.

“You’re still with him” Luke’s voice appears beside you.

“Yeah” you can’t bring yourself to look at him, “I am.”

“Okay” you see him nod once.

“Okay?” You look up at him.

“If he makes you happy and you want to be with him then okay” his eyes don’t look as sure as his words, “it’s nothing to do with me. We’re just friends, right?”

“I need you as my friend, Lu” you take hold of his hand.

“I’m not going anywhere, Y/N”

“Hi” Will hands you your drink as you quickly let go of Luke’s hand. Will’s stance is awkward, he doesn’t know how to act.

“Hey” Luke offers him the briefest of smiles, “I should go.”

“You don’t hav…” You begin.

“I’ll see you later” he cuts you off and walks away. Luke would be leaving the country in under a years time. You’d have to say goodbye to him again, and you weren’t sure you could do that if you were anything more than friends. Things weren’t perfect with Will, but there was a time that you were happy. You needed to fight for that, not just give up and run to another guy. You told yourself this and you almost believed it, but as you watch Luke walk over to his friends, there’s a lump in your throat as the feeling of pure….wrongness settles it’s way into your stomach.


Part 5?? Sorry for the lack of Luke.

Its so awkward seeing alternative people online bitching about “goth youtubers” and stuff and not knowing if they’re referring to you.:S I realise it doesn’t really matter anyway, but you tend to forget when you do something like YouTube that there are going to be people in the community that you consider yourself a part of that fucking HAAATE you for no real reason, and its just like …eh, why?D: Like if some random person who hates alternative people leaves a comment like “UGLY GOTH BITCH KILL YOURSELF” its like yeah alright, whatever, bye. But when its people within your own, very small little community of gothy people, and you have no way of knowing if its you they’re saying horrible things about, its a bit different and makes me feel a bit odd.:/ 

I don’t know, current thoughts I suppose.x_x


Dogmeat is best dog! :3

Screenshots from GIANT CRAB QUEEN | Fallout 4 #3! :D


In this video we see the wild Jackaboy playing more Fallout 4 with a new base, new cool weapons that punch the heads off of mutant dogs, Jack’s character wearing a dress for a short time, stealing back a castle with companions mostly wearing cowboy hats, killing a queen of Mirelurks who’s babies look like giant ticks…Gross and a broken seagull that’s stuck in the game as it tries to fly away! :D 

Yeah… I had a lot of fun with this video. xD There was so many little moments in it that I loved in it. Especially the broken seagull that was my favorite part of the whole video. xD But yeah I really like watching Jack play this game even if he’s just dicking around in it and for me anyway watching him play this brings back so many memories of when I played Fallout 3 and Skyrim for the first time. So I really have fun with these videos of this game but I think this video was my favorite one so far. :)