anyway i am filled with feelings

Every Second of Everyday (Dan Howell x Reader)

Originally posted by shinyphan

Hey guys! I’m finally on break and finals are over! (thank lord jesus) so now I will be posting a lot more than I have been so I hope you enjoy and happy holidays!

xxx Megan

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Dan’s POV


 I miss her every second of everyday. I can’t help but wonder what she is doing and most nights I end up punching a pillow or screaming at the top of my lungs thinking about how I treated her. Thinking about how she left one night in tears. Thinking about the disgusting words that left my mouth that I would constantly throw her way. Guilt couldn’t even begin to describe the feeling that was devouring me when I thought about the fear in her eyes every time we were argue. 

 Y/N had left 2 years ago. I could never blame her though. I treated her with such disgrace and constantly regret everything I did to her. At first we were fine, an average happy couple, but then my career exploded and stress was running my life. And unfortunately I would take out all my stress and anger on her. Every night we bickered about something for a good 3 months. Then the bickering formed into top of the lungs screaming at each other until one of us ended in tear or had lost the will to fight anymore. The worst part is she was the one who stopped almost every single time. She was the one trying to desperately fix us and put us back together. And me being the dick I was just decided to ignore her and push her even farther. The night I came home and saw our bedroom only filled with my stuff didn’t surprise me at all. Hell I wasn’t even upset. That was until about a month later where I found the letter in her old underwear drawer.

 Dan,

 I bet you will either throw this in the bin, set it on fire or not even bother to read it but yet here I am writing it anyway. I’m tired. Dan I’m so tired of you complaining about shit and not even realize that the most important thing was broken. Dan Howell I love you so much and I feel like I always will but you are not willing to fight for the most valuable thing in my life. Us. If you’re not going to try to fight then I guess I should just give up too. I know it’s a shitty thing to just pack up and leave but I was already bawling writing this and I have to leave. If I talk to you in person you will make me stay and I can’t keep doing this. We’re broken. I’m broken. I’m done and so is our relationship. I can’t say I wouldn’t miss you holding me or kissing me or even looking at me cause we both know I’d be lying but I am doing this for you. You’re obviously caught up in work right now and I know how much stress and frustration you have bottled up and I know I’m just an obstacle in the way. I love you so much baby and I hope you have a good life without me getting in the way.

xxx Y/n

 I punched a hole in my wall that day. Anger filled my veins at the thought of her crying over an asshole like me, making her think she was justing getting in the way of my life. I loved her with everything I had and still do and yet I left her feeling broken and worthless. I miss her every second of every day. 

 I was currently laying in my bed, alone, staring at a picture of a beautiful couple. It was a tall, dark haired boy smiling down at a perfect girl with y/h/c. He gazed at her lovingly as her eyes were squeezed shut with a wide opened mouth on her face laughing at a dorky joke the boy had tolded her moments before. This was my favorite picture of us. We both looked so innocent and in love. So happy. My thoughts were interrupted as there was knock on my bedroom door.

 “Dan?” I heard Phil questioned on the other side of the door.

 “Yes?” I spoke weakly as I heard the door creak slightly. I heard a sigh escape his lips ashe walked over to me removing the photo from my hands.

 “Still thinking about y/n?” He spoke quietly as I nodded slightly. He frowned slightly looking at the picture shaking his head slightly. Y/n and Phil were so close when we were dating. Besides me she would tell Phil everything but since the letter neither of us had seen her. 2 years she had walked out of our lives and yet both of us remember it like it was just yesterday. Phil shook his head setting the frame down as he gave me a small smile. “Wanna go to the store with me? Get your head off things?” Nothing could make me stop thinking about her. 

 “Sure Phil.” I smiled slightly as I sat up from the bed.



Your POV


 I strolled down aisle 3 searching for eggs. pushing my cart slowly.  My eyes scanned as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I grabbed it quickly answering the phone call, not glancing at the caller ID already knowing who was calling. 

 “Hi honey.” I spoke still looking for the eggs.

 “WHERE ARE YOU?” His phone boomed through the phone causing me to wince slightly

 “A-at the store. We ran out of eggs and the recipe calls for 2…”

 “You knew all my colleagues were coming over at 7 and I told you to have dinner ready by then!” Ryan’s voice was demanding and loud as I reached down finally finding a carton of eggs.

 “All of it’s done except for the cake you specifically asked for!” I spoke harshly into the phone setting the cartons in the cart.

 “Don’t you dare use that tone with me young lady.” He hushed into the phone causing me to roll my eyes.

 “Okay Dad I’m gonna go now see you at home.” I hung up before he could say anything else. Ryan was my fiance, a well paid, intelligent doctor who thinks he is better than anyone who is younger or earns less money than him. Me being 2 years younger and a mediocre photographer makes him feel twice as powerful towards me. We had been dating for a year and a half and to say we weren’t in love with each other is an understatement. The only reason we were getting married was because his parents loved me and told him to “claim me”. Being the suck up he is of course he proposed. And me being the most awkward person just happened to say yes. I was so busy trying to place my phone back in my pocket I didn’t realize I was walking I ran face first into someone’s chest.

 “Sorry about that love.” A thick british accent spoke causing my breath to hitch. I’d know that voice anywhere. 

 I lifted my head up slightly to look at the stranger’s face as I met a pair of two familiar brown eyes.

 “D-Dan?”



Dan’s POV



 “D-Dan?” Her voice squeaked out causing me to freeze. It was her. Here. RIght in front of me.

 “Y-n?” She gave me a polite smile as she looked down at her feet, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, biting her lip, like she always did when she was nervous. I just wanted to pull her lip from her teeth and kiss her. But I’ll I could do was shuffle awkwardly and place my hands in my pockets.

 “H-how you been?” She asked quietly as her beautiful y/e/c eyes met mine once again.

 “I’ve been better…” I gulped as I saw a streak of guilt fill her eyes. “How about you? How are your photos doing?” She smiled slightly as she nodded slightly.

 “I finally got a job. Somebody saw one of the pictures and fell in love with it so they asked me to join their company.” I grinned at her happily. She had always been struggling trying to get her dream job but I had always told her she could do it. That was until all we did was fight…

 “See! I told you you could do it!” I spoke happily causing her to giggle. Oh how I had missed that sound. “What picture was it?” I saw her face freeze before she whispered 

 “The one of you and I…” I opened my mouth to speak when I heard another voice chime in.

 “Dan I found the… y/n?!” I heard y/n squeal as I saw her jump into Phil’s arms

 “Philly!” 

 I felt a pain in my heart as I watched them hug before she pulled away. Phil looked at her gleaming as he suddenly noticed something that I hadn’t.

 “Are you engaged…?” My eyes immediately darted to her left ring finger where a sparkling diamond ring sat. No. I thought to myself. She can’t be. That should be MY engagment for her. I felt my heart physically break as nausea took over my stomach as I saw her nod slowly. She looked down at her finger before looking up to meet Phil’s gaze again. I felt my eyes become glossy as I looked down at my shoes rapidly blinking trying to keep from crying. Phil seemed to notice my pain as he quickly spoke up. 

 “Congratulations! Well Dan and I should be headed out. We have a bunch of editing to do tonight and we have to watch some new anime episodes as such.” I looked up to see y/n gazing at me sadly as she nodded understandingly. She pulled Phil into another tight hug before turning to me and opening her arms slightly. I wrapped my arms around her petite figure as she hugged me tightly. Her vanilla perfume filled my nostrils as she squeezed me tightly. She pulled away slightly before waving a small wave smiling a little. 

 “Bye guys.” Her sweet voice filled my ears one last time before I saw her turn and continue walking the opposite way. I felt a small tear fall from my eye as Phil placed a hand on my shoulder squeezing in reassurance. 

 “I’m sorry Dan….” He spoke softly causing me to shake my head and wipe my tears.

 “Don’t be…” I spoke, “I’m the one who left her go…”



Your POV


 The radio quietly played in the background as I drove to Ryan and I’s apartment. My mind screaming Dan’s name over and over again. I had never gotten over him and the disappointment in his eyes when finding out I was engaged broke my heart. As I pulled into the parking lot of the apartments I felt my mind become cloudy when I tried to think about why I was with Ryan and not Dan. Dan and I had so much in common while Ryan and I were polar opposites. Ryan didn’t have the sense of humor like Dan did. Ryan didn’t care for me like Dan did. And even though all Dan and I did was fight and bicker, at the end of the day, I didn’t love Ryan the way I loved Dan. I carried the bags of ingredients up to the apartment where I opened the door to reveal multiple doctors and nurses filling up the living room. Sophisticated conversations were being spoken as laughter filled the room. I dropped the bags on the table causing a few to glance over at me and Ryan to notice my arrival.

 “Took you long another! Everyone I would like to introduce you to my friend y/n!” I stared at him blankly

 “Fiance.” I spoke angrily only causing Ryan to roll his eyes and nod softly before grunting out 

 “Yes… my future wife.” I scoffed before turning back to unload the bags when something caught my eye. The walls were empty. Nothing was hung or displayed on any wall of the house,

 “Ryan!” I spoke loudly over the voices making everyone go silent and turn their attention towards me once again.  

 “What?!” He spoke harshly, obviously annoyed by me interrupting his company for a second time.

 “Where did my pictures go?”

 “What pictures?”  

 “Oh I don’t know THE ONES THAT I TAKE FOR MY FUCKING JOB THAT WERE HANGING ON THE WALLS EARLIER!”

 A snotty brunette then piped up.

 “Job? Ryan I thought you said she was a lawyer not a picture taker.”

 “Photographer.” I gritted my teeth trying to calm my anger before turning my attention back to Ryan. “First you don’t want to announce me as your fiance and now you’re embarrassed by my job?!” I shrieked angrily as Ryan just chuckled. 

 “Y/n, I have a very important job and so do all these people. I didn’t feel telling them about your hobbies.” I felt my blood boil as he spoke.

 “Well you know what. I’m sorry I didn’t graduate from a fancy college with a perfect GPA. I’m sorry I don’t make as much money as all of your “perfect” friends but I’m not fucking sorry for who I am or what I enjoy doing. I like my “unimportant” job thank you and I know lots of people who support me.”

 “Oh yeah like who?” 

 “Like Dan…” 

 “Seriously y/n?! You’re bringing up that loser again! He doesn’t do anything either. Worthless piece of….”

 “Don’t you dare finish that sentence Ryan…” I spoke in a low, demanding voice. “Plus I know one thing Dan has that you will never EVER get.”

 “Oh yeah what’s that?”

 I looked down at my ring before sliding it off my finger and slamming it on the table “My heart.”

 “Y/n you’re gonna regret this…” I shook my head staring at him dead in the eye

 “Actually this is the best decision I’ve ever made. Have fun at your fucking party Ryan.” I pushed through the crowd grabbing my keys and open the door as I hear Ryan call from behind me.

 “You walked out that door y/n you can never come back. Do you hear me?! You can just send someone to get all your shit.” I stopped dead in my tracks before calling back.

 “Gigi will be here tomorrow to pick it up.” As I walked out slamming the door. I quickly rushed down the stairs as I reached my car hopping in and rushing down the street driving to the first place that popped into my head…



Dan’s POV


 “Phil make some popcorn!” I shouted from the living room as I searched through the TV for the episode we were gonna watch when I was interrupted by a knock at the door. Who would be delivering something at this hour I thought as I slowly stood up and walked down the stairs. I reached the door unlocking it slowly to be met with a petite girl. Tears filled her y/e/c eyes as her y/h/c hair was tangled slightly. I opened my mouth slightly as I stared at her standing at my door. I never thought I would something as beautiful as this moment. Even with her ratty hair and her makeup slightly smudged under her eyes she still managed to be the most breathtaking thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. I felt a smirk creep on my lips before I let out one of my remarks trying to lighten the mood.

 “Long time no see.” She giggled under her breath before I heard her mumble.

 “God I’ve missed you.” Before I could respond I felt her grab my shirt and tug me toward her. I felt her moist lips connected with my slightly chapped lips as the taste of her cherry chapstick invade my mouth. My hands found her waist as I tugged her inside with my closing the door by pushing her back against it. I tugged on her bottom lip as I pulled away smiling. She giggled resting her forehead on mine as I whispered.

 “I thought you were engaged?”

 “I was.” I grinned before reconnecting our lips

 I missed her every second of everyday. That was until she was mine again. I ended up marrying that girl. To ensure, that I wouldn’t have to miss her anymore.

Just for fun, let’s imagine the entire show is in Sherlock’s head. Let’s imagine, just for fun, that Sherlock is comatose due to his drug use. 

Oh, what the hell, let’s just make this an AU.

John is in the same room as he after he came back from Afghanistan with a hole in his shoulder, a tremor and a limp to show for it. 

Sherlock - he overheard one of the nurses using his name in the morning - receives no visitors. No one John can see anyway. Not that he receives them; Harry is too drunk, his mum is dead and his dad needs to stay far away from him if he knows what’s good for him. So John starts talking to Sherlock during the nights because he can’t - he’s afraid to - sleep. He talks about Afghanistan, about the books he reads, about his family, about his past. Even his horrible middle name. 

And when John finally gets released from the hospital - still with a limp, a tremor and a horrific scar - he still visits Sherlock. Every single day. He has nothing else to do anyway and Sherlock is a better listener than his therapist. But then there is Mary, who makes him smile - sort of -, who makes him alive - barely. 

Mary and he get married. But…

“Hi Sherlock. Sorry, I haven’t been in so much; honeymoon. You know. Anyway. So uh… yeah… got a newsflash. Mary is pregnant. She… uh… she took a test the morning of our wedding and didn’t tell me until we got back to the hotel. I’m going to be a father! Can you believe it? Me? A dad… oh God, Sherlock, what the Hell am I doing?”

“I love her. Of course, I do. I married her, but… I don’t… Jesus, I don’t even know what I’m doing. I just feel so numb. I don’t want… I never wanted a simple domestic life. I hate it. I hate her friends, I hate the dinners. I hate the evenings in front of the telly, watching the same shit over and over again. I can’t… I want to be normal. Sherlock, I… I thought she could give me that, that’d I’d be happy, eventually. But, this baby… I can’t do it, Sherlock. I am not a dad.”

“You know… it would be nice if you woke up. You could actually talk back instead of me just sitting here, talking your ears off. God, if you can hear me… you must hate me by now. Sorry… It’s just… there’s no one else. Isn’t that pathetic? A grown man who can turn to no one except for a comatose patient. Yeah… didn’t think so. Well, I need to go anyway. Take care, Sherlock. See you tomorrow.’’

Six Months Later

3:17 am

’‘Goodnight, Dr Watson, sorry to wake you up like this, but… well, he asked for you.”

“Who did?”

“Sherlock Holmes. The coma patient you visit? He… he woke up and he’s asking for you. Quite urgently.”

John doesn’t even realise he forgot his cane back home until Sherlock pointed it out to him, his pale eyes shining with mirth and John feels fresh air fill his lungs at the sight. 

Keep reading

Secrets- Bucky Barnes x reader

This is a lil something that i just come up with. If you would like me to continue, feel free to tell me! Messages are open, as always. Love u💜

You look around the empty room and swallow the tears that are forming in your eyes. It’s been a year, but it feels like yesterday when your mother, the last member of your family that you have left, died of a brain tumor.

You had been living in Spain for two years when you recieved the news. You couldn’t believe it. Your mom, the strongest, the funniest and the most positive person you have ever met was now gone. It seemed impossible, why didn’t your mom tell you anything about her brain tumor? Why did she hide it? So many questions that would never be answered.

You had come back to New York a few days ago. When your mom died, you hired a lawyer and ordered him to do all the paperwork that was necessary. You didn’t go to the cemetery to say goodbye, you never get to see her lifeless body. You stayed in Spain, because you couldn’t face the fact that you were completely alone in the world. But your job in Spain was just for three years, so you had to move back to the States. That’s why you are here.

Concretely, you are in your mother’s now empty and ready to be on sale house. And in your left hand there is your mom’s will. You haven’t read it yet. In fact, no one has. They couldn’t find it and you didn’t even know if your mom had written it, so they stopped looking for it. But some days ago it appeared while they were throwing away all your mom’s stuff so here you are, with your mother’s last desires in your hand.

You have read it five times, and you still don’t understand it. You read it again and again but you just don’t get it. The lawyer enters the room and looks at you, expecting some reaction, but he doesn’t get any.

- Hey, (Y/N), are you done with your mom’s will?
- Oh, hi Jack. I have one question, this sentence here…- You look for it and start reading it.- … it says “As for all my possessions, I leave them to my only daughter, (Y/N) (Y/L/N). My house, my money, my jewels and the most important… My mission. She has to finish what I couldn’t.”

There’s a silence in the room and you look at Jack.

- “My mission”? What does that even mean?
- I don’t know, (Y/N). It’s probably nothing, I’m guessing she wrote her will in her last days, she was not mentally stable. Just leave it.

You look at the paper one more time before folding it and putting it in your pocket.

After the house is officially on sale, you start walking back to your own apartment. Being the lucky person that you are, it starts raining in the middle of your walk, so you have to quickly enter a little cafeteria that is empty. You ask for a cup of coffee and wait while watching the rain fall. The door of the café opens and a man enters, but you don’t pay attention to him and take out your phone.

Your coffee arrives, but before you can thank whoever it is that brought it to you, a voice interrupts you.

- “As for all my possessions, I leave them to my only daughter, (Y/N) (Y/L/N). My house, my money, my jewels and the most important… My mission. She has to finish what I couldn’t.”

Your breath hitches at the back of your throat and you look up to see a man that is extremely familiar to you. He gives you a sweet smile and sits down in front of you. You want to say something, but he interrupts you again.

- Beautiful words that came from a beautiful woman. I’m sorry for not introducing myself, although you probably know who I am. Anyway, nice to meet you, I’m Tony Stark.

Tony Stark! This guy is Iron fucking man! Your eyes grow wide and he smirks, clearly proud of your reaction.

- I am assuming that you know my work as an Avenger, but I’m also feeling that you are a bit nervous and shocked, so I’ll guess that your mother never told you about her work, right?
- Uh-um…- You have to cough before speaking.- Her work? My mother worked in a bank.
- Ah, yeah, the old bank excuse. Okay, I’m going to fill you in really quickly. Your mom didn’t work at a bank, she was an agent at SHIELD.
- What?! She was an Avenger?!
- No, no. Not an Avenger. She was more into all the computer and technology thing. She was pretty good, let me tell you. Anyway, I know this is mind-blowing and all, but this is what she meant by “her mission”. She wanted you to enter SHIELD, to become an Avenger.
- Me? An Avenger? Mr. Stark I’m flattered, but I don’t even know how to throw a punch. I think you got the wrong girl, I’m sorry.
- You will be turning twenty-one next week, am I right?
- Yes, how do you know about that?
- It doesn’t matter now. Look, twenty-one will be a pretty important age to you, because something will happen. What do you know about your father?
- Nothing…

Mr. Stark closes his eyes and lets out a grunt of frustration. When he opens them, he looks at you with compassion, but a little bit of annoyance.

- Oh, (Y/N), we have so much work to do…

Unrequited Love

Hey angels!
I’m not quite happy with this one, but I hope you like it anyway. Feedback is always appreciated! xx

Also, please note that my mother tongue isn’t English so there might be some mistakes. Feel free to correct me if I made mistakes!

Requested by Anon: „hey i was just wondering if you could write a jughead x reader one on unrequited love. maybe with a happier ending tho. thanks boo! Xx“

Pairing: Jughead x Reader
Warnings: self-hate
Words: 1,487

My whole life Jughead and I have known each other. At first we weren’t really friends but as we got older we also got closer. We never were as close as he was with Archie, but close enough to share almost every secret and feeling with the other. However, as we got older I also started to notice that the way I feel and act around him has changed. My heart began to beat faster whenever I was with him. I had this indescribable tingling in my stomach. I couldn’t control my mouth anymore, it constantly was formed in a big smile. But the worst change was my confidence when he was near me. I began to stutter and I was a nervous mess.

I was confused and tried to push the unknown feelings away, not really caring what’s the meaning behind them. But one day when I realized that they got worse I decided to ask my mom, finally wanting to know what that means. She just had a big smile on her face and told me that love feels that way. I remember how I shrugged her off, telling her that she’s wrong and that we’re just friends. Since then she always smirked when she sees Jughead and me together. A few months later I’ve come to realize that she was indeed right about my feelings for him. Since then I tried my best to be my usual self around him.

I couldn’t stop myself from thinking that he doesn’t feel the same, that he deserved better anyway. After a while I’ve decided to ask Veronica to help me to get over him. She wasn’t a big help, though. All she did help me with is telling him, and when I say she helped me I mean she forced me in her own loving but yet determining way. “Believe me, he’s totally head over heels for you,” she assured me with a smile. After she convinced me, we, mostly she, planned my confession to him. To say that Veronica’s excited would be an understatement.

And that’s how I ended up here in the student’s lounge. My heart beats like crazy and my breath is probably the quickest it could be. “Jug, erm, could we… Could we talk for a minute? Alone,” I ask, trying to avoid eye contact with him. “Sure,” the raven-haired boy says, standing up and following me to an quieter spot. I quickly glance to Veronica, who gives me a thumb up. “Is everything alright, Y/N?” His voice sounding concerned. My eyes are fixed to the ground, too nervous to look in his. I take a deep breath and open my mouth when Betty enters the room, telling us that she needs to tell us something important. “Can we talk later?” the boy in front of me asks me. “Yeah.”

To be honest  I’m a bit hurt that Betty was a higher priority to him than I am. Sighing I walk up to my friends, sitting down next to Veronica. Betty begins to tell us her oh so important story but I don’t listen to it, too busy to sink into my own thoughts. Should I really confess to Jughead? If I don’t, Ronnie’s going to rip off my head, I think, biting my lip. I get pulled out of my thoughts when I feel someone grabbing my hand and squeezing it lightly. Confused I look at her, wanting to know the reason for her action. She just looks straight forward. My eyes follow hers. I freeze at scene in front of me. Jughead’s arm is wrapped around Betty, obviously trying to comfort her. I let my eyes wander between them, noticing the loving look they exchange. A sick feeling starts to fill my stomach. The others must have notice the odd behavior, too, since all of them have confused look on her face. My mouth slightly opens. All I can think of is the way he holds her.

As realization dawns, my chest tightens. I can’t stay here, I think as I stand up quickly. “Where are you going?” All eyes are on me now, making me feel more uncomfortable. “I, erm, I forgot that I have to do… stuff,” I stutter, collecting my stuff and exit the room as fast as possible. I try my hardest to hold back the tears as my vision gets blurry. Knowing that my parents aren’t home I decide it’s the best to just go home. The walk home don’t last long since I basically ran the whole time. The first thing I do when I get home is going in my room and sit down on my bed. Not strong enough to hold the tears back anymore, I let them flow freely down my cheeks.

How could I be this blind? Of course he would fall for her. Stupid me. Who would pick a daisy in a field of roses, right?

I don’t know how long I cry for but after some time the tears stop. All that’s left is that hurt but yet empty feeling. With dry eyes I take my phone out of my pocket and unlock it. Veronica sent me a message, asking me if I’m still up for Pop’s. I type a simple ‘yes’ even though I know that Jug and Betty will be there. Sighing I stand up, making my way to the bathroom since I have to re-do my makeup. When I look in the mirror my breathe stops for a moment. I look how I feel. I not only have red and puffy eyes, I look exhausted in general. “That’s gonna be a lot of work,” I murmur to myself.

Sighing I enter Pop’s, automatically walking to our usual booth. Betty is the first one that notices me. “Hi,” she smiles at me. My eyes wander to Jughead, who’s sitting right next to her. “Hey,” I reply, putting on a fake smile. “Is everything alright? You stormed off quite fast earlier,” Betty says, concern lacing in her voice. “Yeah, I just had this really important thing to do,” I lie with a small smile, while sitting down next to Veronica. I sense how she sends me a worried look. I turn to her and mouth 'I’m fine, really’. She narrows her eyes, not believing me. I roll my eyes at her and turning back to Betty and Jughead. “Anyways, can you believe-” And that’s when I space out. My eyes are fixed on the two person in front of me. Betty leans on Jughead and laughs about something. He looks at her and smiles lightly. I always knew he doesn’t feel the same but seeing how he happy is with her really hurts. Although looking at them hurts me, I can’t seem to look away.

She’s so much prettier than I am. I understand why he fell for her. I wouldn’t choose me, either.

I feel tears filling my eyes and my throat closing. It’s getting harder to breathe. The world’s spinning around me. I’m trying to focus on my breathing but it seems impossible. I quickly stand up, mumbling a quiet 'I gotta go use the bathroom’ and leaving the table. As soon as I enter the bathroom I slide down the wall and let the tears flow for the second time today. The room is empty, all you can hear is my sobbing. I’m too focused on crying that I don’t notice how someone opens the door and sit down next to me. Arms are wrapped around me and soft words are whispered in my ear.

I look up, seeing a sad smiling Veronica. My mouth opens but before I can say anything Veronica mumbles, “I know”. We sit in silence for a few minutes until  I decide to speak up. “Why does it have to hurt so much, Ronnie?” I sob, laying my head on her shoulder. “I don’t know,” she mutters. Her hand starts to trace patterns on my back, trying to comfort me. “I’m sorry, Y/N/N,” Veronica says quietly. “For what?” She sighs, tightens her grip around me. “I told you he feels the same. I got your hopes up” Guilt filling her voice. “It’s not your fault, Ronnie. You can’t make him love me” a sad smile on my face. “He doesn’t deserve you, anyway,” she tries to cheer me up. “What do you think if we order some pizza and then watch a movie at my place?” the girl suggests with a smile on her face. “Just you and me, right?” She nods and wipes away my tears. “Of course,” she replies, standing up. I follow her suit and stand up. A small smile forms on my face when I realize how lucky I am to have a friend like her. Although I still feel heartbroken I know that I will get through this with her by my side.

i am a journal junkie. a blank journal is an open door, to any realm you should choose. here are some ways you can fill the empty notebooks you have sitting on your desk. i do not claim all of these ideas of my own, only one is actually  an original idea - as usual, original ideas are marked with an asterisk (*). i did my best with a brief summary to what a journal of each type may include but there is no right way to journal- feel free to customize each to suit your needs. anyways, here we go…

i. daily journal

dear diary…

ii. bullet journal

to do list of sorts… a whole other post is needed to explain this.

iii. prompt journal

this is great for writers that are lacking inspiration, or can’t write a lot everyday. find journaling prompts online (pinterest is a good place to start) and try to write for one prompt each day.

iv. art journal

these can be sort of like an illustrated diary or a place to keep any art that you create. people sometimes sketch/paint the pages, tape in pictures, sew the pages, etc.

v. brain dump journal

just fill this journal with anything and everything that comes to mind. lists, ideas, things you need to do, literally anything. it is a brain dump after all…

vi. junk journal

this is the category where a smashbook would fall under. basically, you know all those ticket stubs and receipts and things that you should throw away but don’t want to? this is the place to put these items. i’d call this a type of scrapbooking, but it requires less time and effort.

vii. dream journal

this is exactly what it sounds like… a place to quickly (or not) write down any details you can remember of the dream you had the previous night. one may illustrate things, but it is primarily a summary of what you dreamt.

viii. collage/moodboard journal

cut out pictures from magazines or whatever and glue them in… these can be in the typical collage style… messy, or in a moodboard (grid-ish) style. each page (or spread) can have a theme or it can just be purely random.

ix. book journal

keep track of things like books you’ve read (& what you thought), books you want to read, books you’ve lent out or borrowed, book challenges, a paper accounting of your personal library, etc. this could also be used for movies!!

x. travel journal

use this to keep track of where you travel and your experiences on your adventures. you can junk journal this by sticking in postcards or other mementos that you obtain on your trips. some keep day-to-day accounts of everything they did each day on a vacation.

xi. *people journal

this is a collection i have in my bujo for dudes i have interest in lol, but i could (and may) easily turn this into an entire journal. it’s basically a record of significant (or not) people in your life. things i list are their names, the date and how i met them, their birthday & zodiac sign, and just a summary on who they are to me and experiences we’ve had together, etc.

xii. spiritual journal

this depends on what your faith looks like. for me, a witch, it would be a grimoire or book of shadows. for a theistic believer, this could be prayers, sections of text from whatever Book you follow, etc.

xiii. gratitude journal

many bujo-ists keep monthly gratitude logs, but why not turn this into an entire journal? each day, write a or a few things that you’re grateful for.

xiv. ready-made journals

any journal that has a singular purpose that you can buy at the store to work in. examples: wreck this journal, listography, smashbook.

FOR LAURENT   a captive prince fanmix

1. James Young  Moondust  -  2. Allman Brown  Rivers ft. Robyn Sherwell  -  3. Little Comets  His thunder  -  4. Bon Iver  Skinny love  -  5. Florence + The Machine  Falling  -  6. Sleeping at Last  Neptune  -  7. Taking Back Sunday  Sad savior  -  8. Florence + The Machine  Never let me go  -  9. Seafret  Tell me it’s real  -  10. Lissie  Don’t you give up on me  -  11. Allman Brown  Ancient light  -  12. Jon Bellion  Guillotine ft. Travis Mendes

Amazing art by the lovely Zee

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4

“The last scene that I shot with Ellen — and this one line that had tremendous specific meaning to me. It’s Ellen’s line where she says, "I am not finished.” In the context of the scene, it means something else because Cristina is trying to leave and can’t because she doesn’t feel finished. What was challenging for me was, I was finishing. I spent the past year finishing to get the character to this moment. But for me, it was the specific interpretation I had of Cristina saying, “I am not finished.” That speech fills me now. That speech is about how she is not finished. Anyway, I wish I said that more eloquently because I cannot tell you how much that line means to me.“ - Sandra Oh

ILYSB

Originally posted by jjks

❁ pairing: jeon jungkook | reader

❁ genre: fluff, angst - rip

❁ word count: 11,105 - rip x2

❁ a/n: first post and fic on the blog, and I am really, really, really nervous about posting this.. but we’ll see how everything turns out.. I guess? Also, this is deeply inspired - I’ve basically listened to this song on repeat while writing this 11K fic - by the song ILYSB - STRIPPED by LANY. On top of that, if you could listen to Jungkook’s spotify playlist too, that would be 10/10 because is it just me or am I getting the ‘I feel like I’ve broken up with someone I was never really in a relationship with’ vibe from his playlist? Anyways, enjoy~


“A love clinic, really now, Taehyung?”

Taehyung could only give Jungkook a shrug of his shoulders, but the younger one didn’t seem to like the idea of both the words ‘love’ and 'clinic’ placed together on a lit up sign that flashed right back at him.

It is almost eight at night in Hongdae and the streets are filled with couples out on dates and performers who create crowds of attention, but Jungkook and Taehyung decided to stroll around to get their mind off of things. With the two of them sharing the same stress over the upcoming world tour and preparing for their next studio album with the others, a stroll around at night was the only thing that seemed to help them unwind and relax, even if it was temporary.

However, Jungkook did not expect that Taehyung was going to help him unwind by bringing him to a love clinic.

“Why not?” Taehyung says as he purses his lips into a line.

But before Jungkook could utter a reply, he’s already being dragged by Taehyung who had the tightest grip on his sleeve that there was no possible way to stop him from doing so.

“How is a love clinic going to help me? And of all the things we need to worry about, you worry the most about my love life?” Jungkook protests, but it almost looks as if it’s going through one of Taehyung’s ear and out the other.

“It’s going to help you find love again, trust me.” Taehyung reassures him before he pushes the door open for the two of them to enter.

“Find love again, my ass.” Jungkook mutters underneath his breath, and a nudge in the stomach is what he receives in return.

Keep reading

What More Could I Want? (Ben Platt X Reader)

WC: 3115

Warnings: KINDA SMUTTY YOU WERE WARNED, overuse of the word sang

Summary: Ben and Y/N are performing Say No To This at MisCast. Things, naturally, get steamy, and some feelings are revealed

Tagged: @lildipstick @bellasabb

A/N: Combining three requests! Yay! I had two anons ask for kinda smutty Ben stuff, and one who requested the whole steamy MisCast performance! Hope y’all enjoy

“Cast meeting! Report to the blue room!” I read aloud, chuckling at the text from Will. I made my way to the blue room, noticing that I was the last person to arrive.

“And now we’re a complete set.” Will said, raising his eyebrows at me. I put my hands up and sat down on the couch next to Ben. “Anyway, I have decided to call a cast meeting for a very important reason.” Will said, standing at the front of the room.

“And what would that reason be?” Mike asked, only to be met with a violent shush from Will. “Let me finish, Faist. As you all know, MisCast is this weekend.” Will said and we all cheered.

“Hush. Anyway, I have consulted with a majority of the cast and we have decided on our number, and performers.” Will said and I looked at Ben with a  confusion that he shared. We hadn’t talked to anyone about this.

“We will be performing, drum roll please, Say No To This from Hamilton!” Will said and everyone clapped. “And onto the cast reveal. In the role of Aaron Burr… Mike Faist!” Will said and Mike stood up, taking a mock bow.

“In the role of James Reynolds… myself. Thank you, thank you.” Will said, bowing. I chuckled, clapping lightly to myself. “The bastard orphan Alexander Hamilton will be played by none other than Benjamin Platt.”

Ben looked a little confused but stood up none the less, bowing and smiling. “Which leaves the role of the infamously seductive Maria Reynolds, my wife and Benny’s mistress. Who could possibly play that?” Will said, stroking his chin in mock thought.

“Y/N Y/L/N, that’s who. Congrats wifey.” Will said, gesturing for me to stand up. I’d watched my fair share of Hamilton bootlegs, and I knew how Say No To This played out. There’d be some pretty steamy stuff going down, and I’d have to do it all with Ben.

“Thanks for letting me know beforehand.” I muttered, earning a laugh from the rest of the cast. “Just so you know, we’re getting a divorce after this.” I said, pointing at Will. He put a hand on his chest in mock hurt, an offended look on his face.

“That hurts, Y/N. Anyway, even though everyone knows the song, we should probably do a quick run through before the event.” Will said and I nodded, looking at Ben, his hair shining a golden colour in the sunlight.

“Awesome.” Ben said, a wide smile on his face. “Well, thanks for coming everyone. Meeting closed.” Will said, smirking briefly at me before leaving the blue room, most of the cast following suit.

“So, Miss Maria Reynolds. How does that feel?” Ben said to me when everyone had left. I chuckled nervously, scratching the back of my neck.

“A little overwhelming. How the hell am I gonna fill Jasmine Cephas-Jones’ shoes?” I said and Ben shrugged his shoulders, giving me a shy smile.

“I have the utmost faith in you. I’ve heard you sing Satisfied in your spare time, so I don’t doubt that you can sing this one.” Ben said, gently squeezing my shoulder.

“You’re too kind, sir.” I said, and Ben laughed, his cheeks flushing slightly. “See? You’re in character already.” Ben said, shaking his head slightly.

“Well, I should probably go get ready. I’ll see you later, Alex.” I said, and a half smile crossed his face. “See you later, Maria.”


I took in a deep breath and smoothed down the skirts of my crimson dress, walking up towards Ben. “Hey Ben.” I said, tapping him on the shoulder. He turned around and his jaw dropped, his eyes scanning my body.

“Woah.” Ben muttered, his cheeks flushing a colour a few shades lighter than my dress. “Oh, uh, hey Y/N.” Ben said, stuffing his hands in the pocket of his suit.

“Hi. You ready for our big performance?” I said, taking in a deep breath. Ben nodded, his eyes still trained on my body. “Ben?” I said and he snapped his head up, his cheeks flushed.

“Oh, uh, of course.” Ben said meekly and I smiled, putting a hand on his shoulder. He took in a shaky breath and mustered up a smile. “Then let’s go.” I said, looping my arm through his and walking towards our seats.

“I’m kinda freaking out because two of the current Hamilton cast members are here. What if we screw it up?” I muttered, sitting down on a plastic stool.

“Y/N, you are incredibly talented. We’ll do great.” Ben said, placing a hand tentatively on my knee. I took in a deep breath, internally screaming because Ben’s hand was on my knee.

“Let’s go.” I said when I noticed that Mike and Will had taken their seats. We all stood up, and Mike and Ben walked onstage. “Hey guys!” Mike said, waving to the audience.

“Well, today a few members of the Dear Evan Hansen family will be singing something from a musical you’ve probably heard of.” Ben said, nodding to the band. The cello began to play, and I took in a deep breath.

“There’s nothing like summer in the city. Someone in a rush meets someone looking pretty. There’s trouble in the air you can smell it, and Alexander’s by himself. I’ll let him tell it.” Mike sang, the music playing ominously.

“I hadn’t slept in a week, I was weak, I was awake. You’ve never seen a bastard orphan more in need of a break. Longing for Angelica, missing my wife. That’s when Miss Maria Reynolds walked into my life. She said.” Ben sang, his voice low.

I walked on stage, clutching the microphone for dear life. “I know you are a man of honour. I’m so sorry to bother you at home, but I don’t know where to go, and I came here all alone.” I sang, my voice surprisingly sultry.

I noticed Ben’s eyes widen slightly, but he kept singing, turning to face me. “She said.” He sang, leaning against the desk provided. I nearly missed my cue because the sight of Ben leaning against a desk was rather attractive.

“My husband’s doing me wrong. Beatin’ me, cheatin’ me, mistreatin’ me. Suddenly he’s up and gone. I don’t have the means to go on.” I sang, walking closer to Ben.

“So I offered her a loan, I offered to walk her home. She said.” As Ben sang this I walked right up next to him, and I turned to face him, clutching my dress as I did.

“You’re too kind, sir.” I sang, winking at him as I did. “I gave her thirty bucks that I had socked away. She lived a block away, she said.” Ben sang, moving his free hand about as he did.

“This one’s mine, sir.” I sang, looking away from Ben. “Then I said "well, I should head back home.” She turned red, she lead me to her bed, let her legs spread and said.“ Ben sang, and I whipped around to face him, my dress clutched in my hands.

"Stay?” I sang, trying to be as sexy as possible. “Hey.” Ben said awkwardly, looking me up and down, earning chuckles from the audience. “Hey.” I sang seductively, and I noticed Ben bite his lip.

“And that’s when I began to pray Lord, show me how to say no to this. I don’t know how to say no to this. But my god she looks so helpless. And her body’s saying hell yes.” Ben sang, growling slightly on those last two words.

“Woah.” I sang, circling Ben as I did. “Lord show me how to say no to this. I don’t know how to say no to this. In my mind I’m trying to go.” Ben sang, and my eyes were trained on him. “When her mouth is on mine I do not say no.”

As Ben sang this I walked away from him, and took a deep breath, knowing what was about to come. I turned around at the same time as Ben, our eyes locking. I walked quickly towards him, and took in a deep breath.

I gently grabbed the sides of Ben’s face and pulled him into a kiss. I closed my eyes and melted into the kiss, relishing in the feeling. Ben’s hands sat on my waist, and he pulled me close to him.

My stomach filled with butterflies, but before I knew it, the kiss was over. Ben broke away, and even though he was in character, it still hurt a little.

“I wish I could say that was the last time. I said that last time, it became a pastime. A month into this endeavour I received a letter from a mister James Reynolds, even better. It said.” Ben rapped slightly, Will swaggering onstage.

“Dear sir, I hope this letter finds you in good health. And in a prosperous enough position to put wealth in the pockets of people like me, down on their luck. You see, that was my wife you decided to.” Will sang cockily, looking over at Ben who was clutching a piece of paper.

“Fuuu….” Ben said, earning chuckles from the audience. “Uh oh. You made the wrong sucker a cuckold, so time to pay the piper for the pants you unbuckled. And hey, you can keep seeing my whore wife if the price is right. If not, I’m telling your wife.”

Will ended his part and waltzed off the stage, shooting me a wink as he did. “I hid the letter and I raced to her place. Screamed "how could you” in her face. She said.“ Ben raced over to me and I clutched his arms tightly. "No sir!” I belted, suddenly feeling like I was very much Maria Reynolds.

“Half-dressed, apologetic, a mess. She looked pathetic, she cried.” Ben sang and I sunk down onto my knees, my face dangerously close to his crotch. “Please don’t go, sir!” I sang, and Ben walked away from me, my hands slipping off his knees.

“So, was your whole story a set up?” Ben questioned, looking down at me. “I didn’t know about any letter!” I sang, my hands clasped together. “Stop crying. Goddamnit, get up!” Ben sang, and I clutched my dress.

“I didn’t know any better!” I cried, and Ben sighed, crouching down so he was looking me in the eye. “I am ruined.” Ben sang and I looked him right in the eye. “Please don’t leave me.” I pleaded, watching as Ben walked away.

“I am helpless.” We both sang, and Ben stood up and walked away from me. “How could I do this?” Ben sang softly, almost to himself. “Just give him what he wants and you can have me!” I belted, beginning to stand up.

“I don’t want you.” Ben sang and I felt those words cut deeper than they should have. “Whatever he wants. If you pay, you can stay!” I belted, the key change flowing smoothly.

“Lord, show me how to say no to this. I don’t know how to say no to this.” As Ben sang I raced up behind him, running my hands over his torso. His breath hitched slightly, but he continued singing.

“But the situation’s helpless.” I turned around so I was looking him right in the eye. “Helpless!” I sang, my breathing laboured slightly. “And her body’s saying hell yes.” Ben sang and I spun him around, holding onto his arm.

“Lord, show me how to say no to this.” Ben sang, and he placed one arm on my waist and one on my back. I cupped the side of his face, and took in a deep breath. “How can I say no to this?” Ben and I sang in unison, and I pushed him away.

We decided not to use a chair, so Ben wandered upstage, and I lingered towards the front. “There is nowhere I can go. When her body’s on mine I do not say no.” Ben sang, and I raced over to him, snaking my arms around his neck.

Ben took hold of my arms and took them off his neck. He grabbed my waist and flipped me so I was facing forward, and my back was pressed against his chest. “Yes.” Ben breathed out, his head resting in the crook of my neck.

“Yes.” I sung, leaning back so there was no space between Ben and I. Ben’s arms circled my waist and I rested my hands on top of his. I took one of his hands and moved it higher up my chest, bravely sitting it just above my cleavage.

We briefly forgot about the other lyrics, and I gasped a little when I felt something poking into my lower back. It took all of my willpower to pull myself out of Ben’s embrace, but I had to.

“Say no to this, I.” Ben sang, panting a little. “Don’t say no to this.” We both sang, and I slinked further and further behind Ben. “There is nowhere I can go.” Ben sang and Will stepped forward. “So?” Will said, looking over at Ben.

Ben sighed and walked over to him, handing him an envelope. “Nobody needs to know.” Ben sang, letting out a shaky breath. The music faded and the entire theatre erupted in applause. Mike and I made our way back to the front of the stage, and the four of us all took a bow.

“Thank you!” Will called as we walked off the stage, waving to the audience. “Y/N. Can I, uh, talk to you for a second? In private.” Ben whispered in my ear and his breath tickled and made the hairs on the back of my neck raise up.

I waved at a few people, but quickly followed Ben off to a slightly sheltered area. “I’m gonna cut right to the chase here.” Ben said and I nodded, taking in a deep breath.

“Please tell me it wasn’t just me that felt something onstage.” Ben said and I nodded slightly. “I mean, other than your, uh, you know.” I said, gesturing to Ben’s crotch with my head, and Ben frowned a little.

“You know what I mean, Y/N.” Ben growled, his tone of voice igniting a fire in my stomach. I simply smirked and pulled him into a heated kiss, nothing like our one onstage.

This one was frantic, in a way. Like we were trying to convey months of repressed feelings in one kiss. Ben held me close to him, his hands resting on my upper and lower back. My hands sat on his chest, fiddling with the lapels of his suit jacket.

I quickly pulled off Ben’s jacket, and it fell to the floor. Ben kicked it away and moved me so my back was pressed against a wall. I pulled away, desperate for a breath. My lips felt swollen, and I was fairly certain they were.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this.” Ben said, his voice low and gravelly. “Well, against the wall at MisCast isn’t how I imagined this going, but here we are.” I said and Ben’s eyes darkened, lust clouding them.

Ben attached his lips to my neck, and I felt my legs tremble a little. “Ben.” I gasped, clutching onto the fabric of his shirt. He grabbed the zip of my dress and expertly tugged it down.

I shivered a little as my bare skin hit the cold cement wall, but I let out a breathy moan as Ben found the most sensitive part of my neck. I leaned forward from the wall and I felt my dress fall down, pooling at my feet.

Ben stepped away, surveying his work before his eyes travelled to my incredibly exposed body. “Y/N.” Ben whispered, his wild eyes scanning me up and down.

“Now, it’s not very fair that you’re still wearing most of your clothes, is it?” I said and Ben almost immediately took off his tie, discarding it with his jacket. I captured Ben’s lips in a fiery kiss, and I hastily undid the buttons of his shirt.

Ben shrugged the shirt off, and I trailed my hands down his now bare chest. A moan escaped his mouth and the fire in my stomach blazed. I swiftly unbuckled his belt, noticing the rather significant tent in his dress pants.

I tugged his pants down, and Ben kicked off his shoes at the same time as his pants. Ben’s moved his hands up to the clasp of my bra, and fiddled with it for a second. He went to undo it when we heard a voice.

“Jesus Christ!” I looked up meekly to see a slightly traumatised Mike Faist. “Ben!” I whispered harshly, gesturing to Mike with my head. The look on Ben’s face could only be described as varying degrees of frustration.

Normally I would’ve laughed, but I was suffering from serious sexual frustration at the moment, so I wanted to punch Mike in the face and get back to screwing Ben.

“I knew you two had chemistry, but this is a lot more than I expected.” Mike said and I chuckled nervously, trying to ignore the fact that Ben looked like he wanted to murder Mike.

“Mike, can you, uh, give us a second, please?” I said, shooting him a look that screamed ‘leave us alone’. “Oh, ok. Sure thing.” Mike said, winking at us before walking away.

“Ben.” I said, and Ben cut me off almost immediately. “I really like you Y/N. How about you come back to my place after this? Maybe we can have a proper date before we run straight to third base.” Ben said and I nodded, pecking him on the lips before pulling my dress up.

Ben quickly got redressed, although his clothes were a little more crumpled now. “Hey, you mind zipping me up?” I said and Ben nodded. He zipped up my dress, his hands lingering on my back a little longer than normal.

“Thanks.” I said, and Ben smiled sheepishly at me. He leaned forward and our lips connected, butterflies filling my stomach. I cradled Ben’s face in my hands, and his hands sat gently on my waist.

We pulled apart, and I rested my forehead against Ben’s, panting slightly. “What do you bet the rest of the cast set this up so this would happen?” I said and Ben chuckled, his cheeks flushed.

“The odds are pretty high, but I don’t care right now. I’ve finally got the girl I’ve been pining after for months. What more could I want?”

Sometimes Rain Falls

A BTS Fanfiction

Type: AU/Alternative Universe

Summary: Sometimes a normal life is a good one to lead; its nice…its easy…
But sometimes, normal isn’t the way that things were meant to be. And when you’re chosen as a possible candidate for one of the kingdom’s 7 princes, life isn’t as nice and easy as you always presumed it to be…especially when you catch the eye of more than one of them…

A/N: Shit starts to go down… (also, sorry for the late upload, shits going down everywhere today it seems.)

Trailer

Masterlist

Part 5

He’d had you practicing the dances for that evening for a good two hours before you ask him if you could finish, your feet feeling worn black and blue as you take a seat. Although, it wasn’t like you hadn’t had breaks throughout him helping you learn the dance, especially after your moment earlier, that had meant each time you’d paused to ask him a question he’d look at you in the same overly affectionate way he had before the two of you had broken apart from your kiss, and your words would become stuck in your throat before you’d begin practicing again.

‘I suppose I should let you begin to get ready.’ He muses as he makes his way back over to you, a knowing smile on his face that had been present for the entirety of your dance lesson, and which at that moment was smothered in the slightest hint of lust.

‘Will you meet me at the party?’ you ask, looking up at him from your seat as he comes to a stop in front of you, and watching him as he picks your hand up from your lap to steady it intently with a smile.

‘Is that what you want?’ he asks quietly, glancing up at you and holding your gaze as he waits for your answer that ends up coming out breathlessly.

‘Yes.’

‘Then of course I will….although you didn’t really have a choice anyway. I intend to spend all evening with you.’ He says smirking as he pulls you to your feet, and you end up pulled tightly into his body as his arms circle your waist, his tempting grin filling up your vision.

‘Why do I feel like you’re more dangerous than you make out to be?’ you ask playfully, catching the flash of knowing darkness that flickers across his expression before he smiles at you, bringing his lips as close as he can get them to yours without touching, and smiling before he answers you.

‘Because I am.’

Keep reading

Self Care Struggles

Today I took more than I was proud of to soothe the feelings of shame.

I skipped the jog I was planning and had a nap.

I hunted food and gathered it from a drive through window to survive.

I would have loved to have had a schedule but I just would have had to fill it with uncontrollable crying, and that’s not much of a schedule then, anyway.

I am not neurotypical. I am not emotionally typical. I am not behaviourally typical. I do not have a typical personality or a typical soul, and typically, I would probably be labelled ‘dysfunctional’.

But maybe I’m just diff-functional, like I work different than most people do (not less, not worse).

Maybe I’m diss-functional like there is some sort of beautiful, physical logic, to the way my body manifested my dissociative symptoms to cope with trauma in a way it thought it could protect me.

Maybe I’m this-functional like this is how functional I am today, on this step of my recovery, and it is not permanent and it does not define me.

Thank you so much to all the neurodivergent people living loudly who help me have the courage to accept myself for however functional I am.

anonymous asked:

Sorry but, I asked this guy to a dance and he said yes, then he texts me the next day and says sorry but this other girl wants to go with me now so I'm not going with you um... is there anyway to get rid of this feeling of sadness and just something to make you happy? >_<

Don’t be sorry!

If anything, I am sorry things turned out that way. 

I have some spells for heartbreak:

But if you want more stuff geared toward happiness… 

I hope you feel better!

Robin’s Nest: Part 9

Prompt: Where the robin’s were Bruce’s and Batmom’s biological kids

Words: 1557

AN: This was edited by my wonderful team of beta’s who continue to plow through my stories.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8


You had planned the day perfectly. Bruce deserved it after all. He’d had a rough couple of weeks with the destruction of the watch tower, and the invasion; of the world and of your home. With the destruction of the Watchtower, those who had nowhere else to go had taken up residence in Wayne Manor. It was also being used as headquarters until the Watchtower could be rebuilt.

This meant that Bruce was a bit more on edge than normal. He wasn’t used to combining the two parts of his life. His home was supposed to be a sanctuary away from the horrors he faced as Batman, and now he was faced with it twenty-four seven. So, when father’s day had just suddenly popped up on the calendar, you had decided to make it special.

And it all started with you kissing him awake. You spread them across his body; one on his shoulder, another on his forehead, one to his bicep, and then one on his lips. He responds to that one, pulling you in close. His hands start to wander, and as much as you’d like this moment to progress, you know it can’t.

He stares at you in confusion, and you can almost hear him whimper as you get out of the bed and walk over to the door. You just smile as you open it, and your children stream in. The youngest ones rush forward, and Bruce smiles as he catches a flying Damian and Helena. You smile as he kisses each of them before they settle in his lap. Tim is next. He’s an easy going child as he simply climbs onto the bed and throws his arms around his father’s neck.

Cass comes next. She doesn’t climb onto the bed, instead she walks over to his side of the bed, goes on her tiptoes, and kisses his cheek, before handing him an origami bat. It’s folded from a pretty flower pattern, and has different words describing Bruce on it. The words are written in a pretty calligraphy, and you can’t help but wonder when she learned it. The two most prominent words are father, and love. Bruce just smiles before kissing her forehead, and pulling her up on to the bed so that she sits next to him.

Dick and Jason come in a bit quicker. Both of them are carrying trays of food, and you’re almost certain that the food is going to go all over the floor. Dick just smiles as he set his tray down and says: “Happy Father’s day, to the most kick ass dad in the world.”

“Language Dick.” You remind him.

He ducks his head in apology as Jason teases him “Yeah, Dick, watch your language DICK.”

Bruce beats you to it: “Jason,”

Your second son just smiles, “Sorry dad. Happy father’s day, old man. You look good for having six kids and having been married for thirteen years.”

“What about all the crime fighting?” You ask

Jason’s grin just grows, “That’s easy compared to handling us.”

You just smile as you take the tray from Jason and climb onto the bed next to Dick. You hand the tray to Bruce, before taking the other one off of the nightstand. The eight of you eat breakfast together, as the kids tell him what’s been going on at school. When you’re done eating the kids leave with the trays, and instructions to you to keep dad distracted. When the door has closed Bruce pulls you to him and just grins and asks: “And how exactly are you going to keep me distracted?”

You grin, as you begin pulling him to the shower, “I have a few ideas.”

Once he has been thoroughly distracted and you’re both dressed, the two of you go downstairs. You can hear the kids chattering in the ballroom and you can’t help but follow the sounds.

You smile at the sight. The kids have set up an assortment of board games, and the moment Bruce comes in the room they’re pulling him in about ten different directions. Dick catches your eye and he scratches his nose, code for: “You’re good to go set up the next stage.” Bruce’s laughter confirms this as Damian and Helena pull him down for a game of chutes and ladders.

You leave the room and make your way to the kitchen. You enter the kitchen to find several women from the league lounging around and talking. You haven’t spent much time with any of the league members. You’ve been too busy running the house and making sure the kids didn’t run wild. You listen in, as they talk about their latest romantic rendezvous. They giggle as you pack two picnic baskets with food. When everything goes silent you turn to face the room to find Diana standing right behind you.

“Yes?”

“How long have you known Bruce?”

The question startles you, you hadn’t expected it, “Since we were around ten.”

You move around her, as you move to another cabinet. You go up on your tiptoes in an attempt to reach the spicy mustard. Shayera comes up behind you and gets it down for you. Before you can say thank you she asks: “How long have you been together?”

“We dated from the time we were fourteen until we were nineteen.”

“What happened when you turned nineteen?”

You smile, “We got married.”

“And you were with him, while he trained?” That came from Dinah.

“Yeah, we both graduated when we were sixteen and we left. My parents had died in a car crash earlier that year. There was nothing holding us back.”

“What did your parents do?”

You don’t really know what’s going on, why they’re suddenly talking to you, but you decide that there’s no harm in answering their questions. “Mom was a concert pianist, and dad taught high school science.”

“Did you plan on having so many kids?” Mari asks.

You laugh at that, “I was twenty –one when I had Dick. I don’t think any of the kids were planned, with the exception of Tim. But all of them were wonderful surprises.”

Shayera just grins “Bad birth control?”

You laugh, “Most people think that, in reality it was usually long missions that did it.”

They all laugh at that, “Duly noted.” Mari says with a grin.

Everything goes quiet for a moment before Diana asks: “Do you ever feel as though you’ve lost yourself?”

That makes you pause, “What do you mean?”

Diana smiles at you, “I’ve watched you these past few days, you’re always doing something for someone else. The calls for mom seem to be constant, do you ever wish it was just you?”

You nod in understanding, “Everything you see has made me who I am. I love being a mom. I love being a wife. If I didn’t I would have divorced Bruce about ten years ago, or at least had him snipped. All you’ve seen is the mom, if you’ve ever seen me walk into a boardroom filled with men, and watch them immediately shut up, you’d know that I can do whatever I put my mind to. To be honest being a mom and a wife is a lot more difficult. I get very few sick days, and Bruce and I have a mandatory date night every week that he’s home. If he’s gone, I go out by myself. It’s all about balance, and work. I put a lot of work into my marriage, and into my kids. Anyways, I’m rambling. To answer your question; no, I don’t feel like I’ve lost myself. In a lot of ways, I feel like I’ve found myself.”

Diana just smiles before saying, “I am honored to call you a sister.”

Lifting your two picnic baskets you just say, “Back at ya.” Before leaving the kitchen with a smile.

You go out and set up the picnic blankets, and minutes later your family makes their way out. Lunch is filled with homemade gifts from school, and coupon books. Then the kids are running, playing like the semi-normal children they are. Bruce just pulls you into his lap, and you snuggle into his embrace. “Did you have a good father’s day?” you ask.

He kisses you, “I had an amazing father’s day.”

You grin, “You know it isn’t over yet.”

He nibbles on your ear, “I know; I’m very much looking forward to my gift tonight.”

“Well, there is that, but there’s one other thing.”

“Oh really, and what’s that?”

You reach over and pull a small little box from the picnic basket, and hand it to him. You watch him unwrap it with a smile, and then watch his eyes go wide, “You’re kidding.”

You just laugh, “No. I had it confirmed with the doctor. That’s how I got the cute little picture.”

“You’re pregnant.”

You nod, “Yes, that’s why the little bean in the ultrasound picture is saying, ‘Hi daddy’.”

“When?”

“I’m guessing a few nights after we brought Cass home. I’m about three months along.”

He just pulls you in for a kiss before saying: “Seven kids.”

You just shrug, “At this point, what’s one more?”

The two of you kiss again before Bruce says: “The kids are going to flip.”

“I know.” And the two of you just laugh.

We are, aren’t we?

Jim Kirk x Reader. Also can anyone spot the lines I used from the Beyond gag reel? *thank you Karl Urban*

Originally posted by captainprincesskk


Keenser  was watching you eat lunch, his eyes following every movement you made. You smirk ripping apart the sandwich and handing him half. He makes a noise that could only be described as a squeal, before turning his attention to the food in his hand. You lean back into the chair and try not to think of the Captain. The two of you had a nice romp, as they would say, a few nights ago after a long tiring day on the Enterprise. You try not to think of his lust filled eyes or the way his mouth felt on your skin. Especially not the feelings you were starting to have for Jim. Nope not that. Definitely not thinking of that.

“Aye, another break you two!” Scotty strolls into his office, scoffing at the sight of Keenser and you eating.

“Working hard makes us hungry, am I right Keen?”

Your friend nods, taking a bite of his sandwich.

“Lassie, you’re lucky you are the second best engineer down here,” Scotty picks up his PADD and starts scanning through it, trying to hide the smile on his face. “Anyways, you are free to go. I just had to go see the Captain, he’s in the Medbay.”

Keep reading

Roommates || Suga || Part 10

Summary: Yoongi didn’t know why he didn’t particularly like Seokjin. When New Years comes around, he suddenly realises why.

Word Count: 2,278

A/N: Did someone ask for another Roommates update?! No? We’ll here is a belated New Year’s part anyway! Truth is I was meant to queue this for while I was on holiday but completely forgot; better late than never am I right? 

<< Part 9 ||


Yoongi didn’t know how to feel about your building’s New Years Eve party.

But he attended anyway, since you had looked very hopeful and Yoongi was never one to say ‘no’ to you.

So there he stood, on the rooftop of your apartment building around the other young residents residing on other floors, with a cup filled with some crazy mix of vodka and whatever to hold him over until midnight.

You stood by his side, animatedly talking to someone from three floors below you about their plans for the following year. Yoongi had stopped caring about a little more than 5 minutes into the conversation.

He casted a glance out across the skyline; seeing Seoul from a different elevation impressed him. He missed home.

His gaze then fell onto you, and your smiling face. He smiled.

Yeah, he missed home.

Keep reading

working on self-love is not as easy as you think.

i. there will be days when you will feel like going back to the people who hurt you and beg them again.

ii. there will be mornings of wanting to just die, feeling numb, feeling nothing, feeling empty.

iii. there will be nights of breaking down, having everything come back to you all at once, longing for something that was never and will never be yours but you long anyway.

iv. most of your days will be filled with questions like “am i not worthy of love?” and “why does this happen to me every fucking time?” and you will feel like shit, insecure and ugly.


it might not feel like you’re making progress but you are. all of those days are part of the journey. feel everything, admit that you are hurting. repairing your universe takes time.

you will be okay.
i will be okay.

What you’re most likely to argue about...

Jinyoung: His random change in attitude. Once in a while, Jinyoung will probably hit you with an out-of-the-blue attitude. Like he’ll make a face or roll his eyes behind your back if you say something that could be perceived as annoying (e.g. why is it so hard for you to put your cup in the dishwasher?). Or like he’ll sigh really loudly and if you ask what’s wrong he’ll be like ???nothing?? Most of the time, you just gotta deal with him being petty for an hour or 2 before he’s back to normal; otherwise, giving him silent treatment always makes him lose the attitude asap lol.

BamBam: Taking the joke too far. This’ll probably only happen very rarely bc as BamBam’s s/o, you’re prob someone who also stretches a 5 second joke out into a week-long comedy fest lmao. But anyway, he might say something that he thought was funny but ends up coming out really mean. Calling him out for it would only make him say something like “yoU ALWAYS SAY STUFF LIKE THAT!!” and basically that’ll be the start of you guys arguing for 10 minutes about whose humour is worse lol.

Youngjae: How long it takes to wake him up. Okay so like remember in Real Got7 when Jaebum demonstrated how he wakes Youngjae up in the morning (▰˘◡˘▰) Anyway, that’d prob become your obligation as his s/o and omggg this boy can sleep. Like it will literally take you 15 minutes every morning to get his ass to wake up and when he’s finally conscious, he would prob be so oblivious like “Oh, did you sleep well? What’s for breakfast?” not noticing that you’re drenched in sweat from the effort of dragging him out of comatose lmao.

Jackson: Taking things to heart. Okay like as evidenced by the members saying he holds grudges and past events (…), Jackson can be a lil emotional and act on impulse. He always has the best intentions and has the purest heart and imo, this will probably be the cause of any fights you guys have. Like you might say something off-hand or do something subconsciously and he will immediately take it the wrong way. A certain scenario might be if you go on a trip with the members and choose to ride in a different car to him. Jackson would prob say something like, “Why don’t you want to ride with me??” and if you’re like “Oh, okay, I’ll come with you then.” He’ll be like “No, it’s fine. Go with them.” And like lock the doors from the inside so you have no choice but to go in the other car lmao. 

Yugyeom: Not reacting to your problems the way you were expecting. Okay so like if you’ve seen Real Got7, sometimes Yugyeom will react really chill to things that would leave other people shooktd af (e.g. when they pranked him). Mostly, being calm and collected is an ideal trait in a partner; but sometimes, especially if you’ve had a bad day, when you just want him to be like !!!!!!!!, Yugyeom will prob just laugh it off and say something like “Oh, that’s not good.” And it’ll only be made worse because he won’t realise what he’s done to upset you and when you tell him, he’ll still be like “…oh, that’s not good.” Lmao, but like this will be something you have to learn to get used to rather than expect him to change about himself.

Mark: Misreading silence. Okay, I know there’s this stigma around Mark being really quiet and uncommunicative sometimes…but honestly…I think he expresses himself a lot more genuinely than other people. Like he will only talk when he has something to say or only laugh if something is funny; rather than just talking or laughing to fill silence?? Anyway, I think his s/o would have this same sort of personality, so the main reason you might fight would be if you were genuinely upset, but Mark just read your silence as you having nothing to say, rather than an invitation for him to ask what’s wrong. Am I making sense lol.

Jaebum: Being unproblematic but coming off as insensitive. Okay so like I feel JB would be a really good boyfriend in the sense that communication is all you’d need to be happy. If you tell him you’re upset, he’ll try to cheer you up. If you tell him you’re hungry, he’ll cook you food. Simple. But sometimes, it’s nice to have your s/o notice things/do things for you without you having to ask. Jaebum failing to do this would probably cause a few small arguments between you. Like he wouldn’t have a problem with doing the thing you had in mind, but he’d just say “Well, why couldn’t you just say that instead of making me guess, Jagi??” 

Negan x Reader: smut

Hey everyone! I’m pretty new to “The Walking Dead” fandom but I’m in love w everyone… including Negan, obviously.

I’ve been into writing and such, so I wrote this lil one shot for anyone that wants to read it!!

I’d love to write more! Feel free to send feedback AND requests! I also have a JDM fanfic that I’m starting to write if anyone is interested in that! Anyway, without further ado….

Warning: smut ahead!

New Life. New wife.


“You’ve been sulking since we got here darlin’ what the fuck am I doing wrong?” Negan’s voice was filled w aggravation as you stormed past him.
“I thought we had something special. I left my home for you.”
“Let’s face it sweetheart, that place was filled to the brim with ASSholes.”
“You killed some of those assholes.” You snapped. He smirked and looked down at his precious Lucille and you scoffed rolling your eyes.

You left your small village when you met Negan. He came looking for supplies and sweated loyalty. He held out there for days, at first you couldn’t figure out why. He was terrifying at first, the bat-wielding maniac that was terrorizing everyone that tried to stand against him. He killed people in front of you and the rest of the village. It was pretty painful to watch, though you weren’t really close with anyone there. You usually didn’t stay anywhere very long, you finally thought the village wAs the place to stay… until Negan showed up.
Though scary, he was charming and attractive as hell. He laid his eyes on you with a smirk, before bashing in the brains of a man, whose name you didn’t know.
“You.” He said his voice deep, frightening. You shook as he inched closer, his finger gracing just below your chin. He knelt down in front of you.
“And what’s your name, sweetheart?”
“Y/n” you stuttered a bit nervously. Negan grinned a devilish grin before standing up.
“Stand up, darling. That’s a beautiful name. I want you to come with me.” You stood up, though your legs shook. You felt as if you didn’t have a choice and he shuffled you along w him.

He didn’t let you out of his sight and even when a hoard of zombies came along you proved to him that you were gonna fight for him, taking out zombies that even got close to him. You proved your loyalty again when you killed a man for him. Covered in blood he grabbed you and kissed you like you’d never been kissed before.

The next couple of nights you got to know him. He treated you like a queen. Anything you requested he found a way to get you. You fell for his charm and wit, and a plus he knew how to survive. He told you about the sanctuary and how you’d have your own room and anything you’d ever want. After the end of the world, this was a huge change, and it felt good.

You were on cloud 9… you thought you were going to help rule with him. Until you got to the sanctuary and found out about his other wives.

“I thought I was the only one.” You go over to your things and start packing them up. Slamming each piece of clothing back into your small suitcase you carried around. He walked over brooding, his hand shutting the suitcase before you could could put anything else in it. His big hand reached out for your face and you flinched away from his touch.

“What do you want me to do about those women, darlin?” He asks, his eyes staring right into yours.
“I don’t care. Make them leave. Let the walkers get them. I don’t care.” You say sternly, through your teeth. Negans face is empty of expression for a moment before a crooked smile graces his lips.
“Now I can’t just turn a bunch of women away to the walkers, and I hate killing women.” He chuckles.
“Then ill do it.” You say, your eyes not leaving his, your hand reaching for his precious Lucille. He chuckled pulling it away, placing it opposite of him.
“THAT was the hottest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” He said before crashing his lips into yours. You couldn’t help but kiss him back, before tugging harshly at his bottom lip.
“I want to be your only one.” You say, your hands on the sides of his head. “Or maybe…” you stand up heading for the door. “Maybe I should go around fucking your men. Maybe even Simon.” You go to twist the handle but within a few seconds, Negan is at the door slamming it shut, pushing you harshly against the closed door. His hand wraps around your neck, and he gently squeezes enough to make you jump a bit.

“The FUCK did you just say to me?” He asks, his eyes are dark and his features are angry.
“You… heard me.” You retort and for a moment he looks amused, but his face flashes back to anger and he tightens his grip just enough around your neck. You felt your body tingle, you were enjoying this, and for some reason you didn’t feel scared.
“You… are mine.” He says. “And when I say jump you say, "how MOTHERFUCKIN HIGH? Now are we clear, darlin?” You don’t answer, your eyes just find his. Your knees grew week as he slowly released you from his grip. “You had so much to say, earlier. I’m taking the silence as a yes.” He backs away a bit, before unraveling his red scarf from around his neck. “Turn around.” He commands and you listen. “You’ve been a bad girl.” He purrs in your ear as you face away from him, his teeth nibbling at your earlobe before he kisses and bites at your neck.
“Bad girls, get punished. Hands behind your back.” He growls, you feel him tying his scarf around your wrists, tightly before pulling you over beside his huge bed. “Knees.” He says and you again command on your knees you look up at him waiting for his next instruction. “I was going to use scarf to gag you, darling… but I prefer to use my cock… so open up your mouth for daddy.” You grin, opening your mouth as wide as you can as he starts to unbuckle his belt and pull down his jeans. His erection was already waiting for you, he took it in his hands stroking a few times before slowing inserting it into your open mouth. You suck him in pushing him as far down your throat as you can, before gagging and pulling back. You repeat the process, his head leaning back a low growl slipping through his lips. He rocks his hips back into your mouth causing you to gag, but your saliva was building up around his cock. He grabs a handful of your hair in each hand before holding your head steady. He continues to rock his hips into your open mouth, each time groaning as he reaches he back of your throat.
“Eyes up here, darlin.” He grins as you obey. “What a FUCKING SIGHT.” He growls as he continues to stroke into you. Your eyes teared up from the sensation, but you were enjoying this. Seeing Negan tilt his head back as he grunted and groaned loudly.
You had never done anything like this before and yet you were so turned on. You could feel yourself growing more and more wet as he continued to please himself with your mouth.
He pulls himself out slowly watching as your saliva glistens off of him. You knew you probably looked a mess, your eyes still tearing up as he pulled you up to him.
“Damn you’re so BEAUTIFUL.” He said, his hand holding you by the mouth, his thumb stroking your bottom lip. “Don’t have much to say, now do ya?” He asks his other hand stroking at himself. You smirk, ready to test him.
“Fuck you.” You say quietly and for a minute, again he looks amused, his hand still on your mouth he brings it through your hair and in the flash of a moment he wraps your hair around his hand tugging it hardly tilting your head back.
“Now you’re lucky, I haven’t thought of anything else to gag you with.” He says his teeth grazing your neck biting pretty hard, you let out a moan as he does. “But I also want to hear you screaming my FUCKING name.” He pushes you onto the bed still not being able to move your arms you struggle a bit but he props you up, tearing off the shorts that you wore.
He slapped your ass hard as he rubbed at your wet center. His hand coming down hard again, making you cry out. He pushed himself into you, making you exhale and moan, he didn’t waste any time stroking into you. He grabbed your hands all tied up and used them for some leverage as he fucked you hard, before picking up the pace.

You loved it, the way he kept up the pace, moaning and grunting as he did letting you know he was enjoying yourself. It was hot to you. You would have been gripping at the sheets if your hands were free. You felt yourself trembling as he continued, not being able to stop yourself from moaning as he pulled you by your hair up to him, not missing a beat.

“Now, darling…” he growled. “Tell me who you belong to.” He bit into your shoulder as you groaned. “Fucking TELL ME who you belong to.”
“You” you whined.
“Not good enough, sweetheart.” You could barely catch your breath, and your voice was shaking.
“Negan!” You whined. “Negan!” That was all he needed to push you back down onto the bed, finishing off in sloppy strokes before letting himself go. A loud moan coming from his lips, both of you out of breath and shaken he clumsily untied his scarf from your wrists now red from being gripped so tightly.
You looked over at him, bringing your arms above your head. Trying to catch your breath you felt him pull you over to him.
“Now…” he breathed “you tell me what you want done with my wives.”
You grinned, though you didn’t really care what happened to them.
“I want to be the only one.” You repeated your words from earlier. “I can take care of you all by myself.” Negan grinned a devilish grin.
“Something tells me, your not lyin.” He said, before kissing you on the mouth.

Scarlet

Word count: 1216 words
Summary: “You loved the colour red on me, but this isn’t what you meant.”
Suga x Male reader Gang AU
WARNING, SENSITIVE CONTENT AHEAD,
VIOLENCE AND DEATH

“Yoongi, do I look okay?”

“I told you when you agreed to marry me, you are perfect.” I lightly played with the hem of my dress shirt, anxiety draining out of me from his soft spoken words. I heard the light creak of the bed, and the familiar scent of his cologne filled my senses.  

“But I know you have rules for me, on what I can wear-”

“And right now, red looks perfect on you.”

“You do these things to my heart Min Yoongi, and I don’t know when they will stop.”

“When we die together?”

“Who says I’ll die with you?” I challenge, even if I knew the outcome to this conversation. I was greedy for the responses that make me feel wanted, like my presence is enjoyed. He stepped forward one more time, so I could feel his breath fan across my face. I shivered from the anticipation.

“(Y/N), I suggest you be quiet. Let’s go to the dinner now, shall we?” He spoke coolly, the hairs on my arms stood on end as I nodded, taking his hand in mine. He walks ahead of me ever so slightly, taking the dominant role. His presence is dark, and cold, while mine is soft and warm. We are complete opposites until left alone, when he holds me at night, when he fights all the thoughts that took me captive years before. People stared, and it was obvious that they were talking about us. ‘The only Mafia boss who has a male fiance’. I felt the words of the woman hit me as I held onto Yoongi tighter. With his careful observation, he noticed and carefully wrapped his arms around my small torso. I released the tension in my shoulders at his kind gesture, feeling my cheeks burn slightly. We finally entered the main dining hall, people everywhere.

“Yoongi! I am so glad you decided to come, I have a gift for you!” A lady spoke, lightly shoving me off of him. My eyebrows furrow as she clings to him like a lost puppy, hurt filling my facial features. Yoongi was staring at her with a bored expression, but I let them be anyways, turning around and walking away without bothering them. I could feel Yoongi’s stare, and the woman’s not-so-gentle voice. I sighed, walking over to the bar. The familiar face, Jin, wipes glasses at the counter concentrating on the glass in his long fingers. I sit, careful to not fall off the tall seat. Jin finally notices my presence, surprised. A look of understanding soon reaches his face as his eyes land on the female hanging off him, and him not trying to get away from her.

“Seems that not everything is perfect right now in Yoongi town, huh?” Jin asks, already placing a cocktail in front of me.

“It was perfect until we entered the room.” I mumble, playing with the lime on the glass, and the broad shouldered man gives silent empathy, cleaning the counter. I sip at my drink, and after a few minutes I feel slightly dizzy,  the drink slowly taking it’s toll on me. The calming music makes me follow it’s melody as I bob my head to it, the instruments ringing through my ears. The music was suddenly stopped as the woman from before goes on stage, her heels clicking noisily with each step.

“Ladies and Gentleman, today we have a special guest, mafia boss Min Yoongi here today!” Quiet cheers could be heard as Yoongi stood awkwardly, my eyes boring into the side of his face. “For his presence today, we have a special gift for him!” She squealed, pointing to a door backstage, multiple women in lingerie walked onto the small, carpeted stage.  I clench my teeth as I continue to listen and watch. “You have the decision to have one,” You could see some women push their chests out, “or have them all!” At the ending of her speech, I lost it and slammed my cup down, getting up and walking towards the exit. I could feel gazes from every single person in the room, except for one. The one who I cared for most, leaving me to my misery by myself. Tears fell down my face as I went into the washroom, locking the door. I felt my breath quicken as fear filled my body, how Yoongi could choose one woman to spend his night in the bedroom with, or all of them. I sobbed into my hand, my throat feeling restricted as I sat down. In the distance, quick footsteps followed by panicked knocks at the door were heard, also followed with a voice.

“(Y/N)? It’s me, Jin, I came to check on you, can you open the door please?” Jin pleaded, his voice sounding vulnerable. I got up, wobbling to the door.  As I opened it, I felt my knees grow weak as Jin caught me, sweat dripped off my forehead as I heard Jin call out my name. My ears rang for a few seconds, before I could hear again. “(Y/N)? Can you hear me?” Jin asked softly, and I replied in a nod, I winced at how I realized my throat was sore.

“Let go of him, Jin.” A harsh voice snapped, making me flinch. I close my eyes as my vision circles in a frenzy.

“Yoongi, why should I let you take care of him? When you couldn’t even look at him as he left?”

“Jin! Don’t test my patience!” He yelled. I could feel Jin shudder in fear as he put me down in front of Yoongi, his cold hard eyes shooting bullets into my body as he helped me up. “I’m sorry (Y/N), you won’t have to worry about her again.” He explains, and I give into his apology, nodding. He picks me up so I can see behind him, and as he starts walking away I see Jin slowly raising his arm, and I then notice the weapon in his hand. My eyes widen as I force myself out of Yoongi’s arms, blocking him from the bullet as it pierces through me. I let of a pained gasp, holding my chest. Jin’s eyes widened, realizing I got in the way. I fall to my knees as Yoongi reacts, shooting Jin, his body falling to the floor. I looked down at myself, my red dress shirt being covered with a darker, scarier red.

Blood gushes from the wound, and also comes out of my throat, spilling out of my mouth. Yoongi gets on the floor, it’s easy to see how red his eyes are as he tries not to cry.

“(Y/N), can you hear me?” He panics, holding my shoulders, making me cry out in pain. Tears start draining off his face as he holds me, our last moment together. “Fuck (Y/N), this can’t be fixed, idiot!” He yells, holding me closer. I feel my breath getting shallower as the pain intensifies.

“Y-Yoongi..” I cough out. “You’ll still get me a fireplace right?” I ask, trying to lighten the situation, but it makes him cry harder, his cries muffled by my shoulder. He looked up at me, as I try to get the last words out.

“Does red s-still look good on me?”

fucshias  asked:

who do u love. tell me abt these people I want to know them

black hair. speaks both german and french. hates math. my mother. bad 80’s dancing. architect. my confidant. my best friend. loves home renovation shows. symmetry freak. took a 10 year break from her career to raise me. designs cupboards for a living. dyes her hair. goes to pilates. worries about ageing. will buy me anything i ask for. let me drop out of school. cats eyes. likes bradley cooper. perfectionist. listens to led zeppelin and acdc and u2. the only person in the world i truly trust.

short. athletic. crooked nose. loves math. my father. loves science. doesn’t understand me. hellishly stubborn. got in a biking accident that knocked both his front teeth out. i cried for a week. travels a lot. rational. sends me links to articles that i don’t read. listens to cat stevens and abba and norah jones. sensitive. loves his kids.

misogynistic. antagonising. my brother. the funniest person i know. tall. gorgeous. plays three sports. could pass all his exams with his eyes shut. can read people like a book but does not give two fucks about them. taught me how to skip. doesn’t eat his vegetables. i mistake him for my father sometimes and it scares me. good with kids. makes fun of me. comes into my bedroom at 3am to talk about his feelings. screamed when his pink debit card came in the mail. doesn’t read. stubborn. good hair. loves me.

annoyingly smart. hard worker. worries almost as much as i do. my brother. short, but getting taller every day. the baby of the family. prodigal son. doesn’t understand me. charming and kind. hates tall buildings. still has nightmares. could be anything he wanted to be when he grows up. great with kids. insensitive. hilarious. doesn’t know his own strength. i would do anything for him.

short. long blonde hair. cornflower blue eyes. freckles. my best friend. no-one ever gets her goddamn name right. loves her cat. funny. needs to trust herself. great sense of fashion. looks good in everything. looks like she just walked out of a german fairytale. once danced with me to classical music in a packed cinema before the lights went down. deserves so much. the most beautiful girl i will ever know. is moving away this month. i don’t know how i’ll live without her. i don’t think i can live without her.

tall. really tall. freckles. eyes that switch between green and blue. my best friend. booming, infectious laugh. smiles like a thousand-watt lightbulb. hates her name. photographer. artsy. innocent. the only regret i ever have is not being friends with her sooner. lovely. is so goddamn lovely i can’t stand it. trusts me. looks good in scarves. likes greek mythology. i have not been to her house in the six years i have known her. loves remus lupin. can quote the hunger games bad lip reading video back to front. so many inside jokes. beautiful.

short. freckles. bright blue eyes. dark brown hair. my best friend. english accent that doesn’t shake. beautiful. an oddity. loves her dog. has never had a proper birthday party. good at makeup. unfathomably polite. accommodating. loves raw chocolate. giggles a lot. gets into laughing fits. watches the walking dead. would die for karl grimes. listens to angry screamo music. i will never understand why.

short. loves henry cheng. bilingual. james potter hair. glasses. so smart. funny. thinks the best of people. dedicated. needs to get more than 5 hours sleep. loves her little sister. arty. doesn’t shut up about the foxhole court. understands me. loves remus lupin almost as much as i love sirius black. doesn’t cut her fingernails because she plays guitar. the biggest heart of anyone i know.

tanned. poised gait. long limbs. smile that lights up a room. cute laugh. so gorgeous it squeezes my heart. listens to me. knows that i am capable of hating people and loves me anyway. you would never guess that she is hurting. positive. smart. is loved so much it could fill a room. elegant hands. the most beautiful voice.

tall. so talented but she doesn’t know it. gorgeous. lively. makes me smile when no-one else can. my happy place. understands people implicitly and it annoys me. makes me feel so light and unburdened. cannot go more than a week without talking to her. lion hair. will not let the ham thing go. would die for donna tartt and jo march. watches a lot of period dramas. has made me 10 times happier since the day i met her. i will never deserve her. i will never stop trying to deserve her.

gorgeous. cheeky grin. beautiful lips. nice hair. would die for buffy summers. bi as fuck. funny. makes me feel so supported and understood. loves me. so much. is sick and i never want her to be sick again because god she does not deserve to be sick and if i could reach inside her heart and take away all the black stuff i could but i can’t and it hurts me every single day and i will never ask but i will never stop trying. giggly. idiosyncratic. i will love her every day for the rest of my life and it will still not be enough.