anything for my sun and stars

4

Jongin for Esquire Korea 2017 Feb issue

You give me the strength to overcome anything.
—  Poets Love Her
let’s sit on the floor of my room and pull the strings from our chest and place them in each other’s hands and say, “i love you. is this enough to show how much i love you?”
let’s lay on our backs and look at the sky and wish we were birds instead of humans because birds don’t get their hearts broken, they just fly side by side until they can’t fly anymore.
let’s walk for miles with no direction and get lost in each other, because lately i seem to know you too well and i miss being surprised by you.
let’s kiss under a blanket of stars and the rising sun and the ceiling of my room so that everyone and everything knows that i love you more than anything i’ve ever loved before.
let’s scream at each other at the tops of our lungs and break each other’s hearts again and again, only to fall back together in the end because we both know we’re better together than apart.
let’s love each other in the moment, and the rest will fall into place.
—  i want everything with you
Recommended Reads of 2016

(in which I realize how horrible I am at describing books)

As 2016 draws to a close, I decided to make a list of ten of my favorite books I read this year (not necessarily books published in 2016 though).  I hope you all appreciate this, and I’d love to know what books you loved this year as well!

In no particular order:

1. The Start of Me and You by Emery Lord: This was one of the first books I read this year, and it was so adorable I just had to put it on this list.  It’s about a girl whose first and only boyfriend died, so she is now living her life with a lot more caution.  Basically, it just chronicles how she copes with this and lives her life (I’m so sorry that was a horrible synopsis haha).   By no means was the writing beautiful, and there were plenty of cringe-worthy moments, but it was just a nice and (mostly) fluffy read.  All the references to literature (specifically to Pride and Prejudice) made my nerdy heart happy.  Also, I am such a sucker for a cute nerdy guy (both in books and real life, haha–honestly, if you know of a good book with this kind of guy, let me know) so I understandably loved Max.

2. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen: The Start of Me and You was actually what convinced me to finally read this classic, and boy am I glad I did!!! Honestly, I’m so obsessed with this story (which I don’t think I need to summarize).  Like, this obsession is unhealthy.  I’ve only read the book once, but I’ve watched the miniseries like three times this year and the movie (from 2005, obviously) probably (and I am not even kidding) 20 or 30 times this year.  Keira Knightley and Matthew MacFadyen (if you’re as in love with him as I am, you HAVE to listen to him reading some of Pride and Prejudice – I want him to narrate my life omg) are literally my faves fajkldjgaoi I AM OBSESSED AAH.  But I digress, because this is about books.  Basically I love it.

3. First & Then by Emma Mills: Okay so this is a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice (are you noticing a theme?? – I could literally read/watch nothing but P&P adaptations for the rest of my life and be perfectly content).  As the blurb on Goodreads said, it’s like Pride and Prejudice meets Friday Night Lights.  Basically, it follows this girl named Devon and the football star, Ezra.  I’m so obsessed that I completely ignored my complete and utter abomination for all sports in order to enjoy the P&P aspect and it was so cute I finished it in less than a day.  

4. Winter by Marissa Meyer: I loved the entire Lunar Chronicles series, but this one was my favorite.  Basically, the series is a sort of sci-fi/dystopian fairy tale retelling with cyborgs and space travel and I really enjoyed it .  Also, the cover??? Amazing.

5. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury: This is a well-known classic, so I’ll spare you the details, but it was just so good (and it’s nice and short if that’s something that interests you) and so scarily accurate for a dystopian novel.

6. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee: Again, a well-known classic about racism and basic human morality in a southern town during the Great Depression.  I have nothing to say that you haven’t heard before, so I’ll just say: it was absolutely wonderful.

7. Paperweight by Meg Haston: I want to preface this by saying it heavily discusses eating disorders, so that is something to be mindful of. It was such a raw and captivating story and I felt it handled the topic well.  I really felt for the characters.  The story was sad and disheartening (an intrinsic quality when it comes to mental illness) but I just felt Haston did a really amazing job with it.

8. Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon: This book is about a girl with an illness so severe she can’t leave her own home.  It follows her life as she becomes interested in her new neighbor (I am blowing myself away with my horrible synopses hahaha - if you really want to know, click the book titles to go to their respective Goodreads pages).  It was a really interesting story that I flew right through.

9. The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon: I know I’ve mentioned this one before, but I’ll do it again.  It’s about a Jamaican girl whose family is about to be deported and a Korean boy who doesn’t want to follow the plan his parents have set out for them.  They spend a day together in New York City and it’s pretty great.  I loved the little in-between perspectives we got and the blend of science and romance/fate/destiny kind of stuff.  I loved it!!

10. The Memory of Light by Francisco X. Stork: This is another book about mental illness – specifically depression, suicidal thoughts, and schizophrenia.  It’s about a girl who, after attempting suicide, gets to know three other kids with problems like hers.  It didn’t romanticize mental illness or sugarcoat anything, and it made me cry (and I don’t cry often at books) but it was a really captivating story.  

There you have it, folks! My top ten from 2016.  I sincerely wish you all a wonderful 2017 filled with happiness, love, and new memories!!! I love you all! 

Space Balls

Recently I’ve been playing with wet on wet watercolor techniques.  This watercolor technique works wonders with creating backgrounds, skies, water, and space.  By wetting your work area first with water, you can create organic shapes and water movement that mimic things you would find in nature.  Make sure you only wet areas you want the colors to flow with clean water.  Or your painting will become muddy and washed out.

This is step one.  Filling in the area with color.  If you experience pooling you can either:

1. Mop it up with a brush/towel/paper

2. Tilt your paper to evenly distribute the water but risk muddying colors

3. Let it dry for a darker effect but risk getting bleeding 


Experiment with different color combinations.  You can look up galaxies, nebulas, and stars online but just experimenting works even better.  

Possible color combos that worked:

1. Warm colors: reds/oranges/pinks/yellow

2. Cool colors: Blue/purple/green

3. Mix it up, if you add in just cool colors, you can add a pop/drop of red to really give it a pop.

Now we need to darken up the borders and around the organic color flows you have created.  Let it dry slightly and then mix up very dark purple with a base of blue.

Fill in edges and then go back and get high paint to water ratios of your colors (orange) and dip your brush in those areas.  Watch the color bleed into the dark purple.  Add and experiment as desired.

Check out that bleeding action!  It’s exactly what you want.  

Now take a white gel pen/white gouache/white watered down acrylic paint and tap your brush with a pencil to get nice star variations.  I even used silver calligraphy ink to add even more dimension to the stars.  Not all stars are white.  You can make them silver, gold, light blue, light yellow, cream or anything that works for you.

What I did next is scan some of my “space balls” into my computer, cut them out into perfect circles and arrange them as a print.  You can check it out below.

Experiment and enjoy!  I think this picture “tutorial” is okay but a video would definitely convey some of the technique better.  Look forward to that.

Cheers

Annie

fic: Yin and Yang

title: yin and yang

genre: fluff/tiniest bit of angst if you squint

warnings: swearing | word count: 1500

description: a sunset beach walk after phil’s thirtieth birthday brings talk of things to come and decisions they figure they need to discuss. plus there’s this metaphor about the sunset.

yin and yang; light and dark, day and night - two opposites that are made to be together.

“I think you’d be a sunrise,” Phil says.

Dan quirks an eyebrow and prompts him to elaborate. “I’m all gloom and darkness, I’m definitely a three am sky.”

Phil frowns. “Maybe, but you’d be scattered with stars. And you’d be five in the morning, not three, the sun would be just about ready to rise. There is some light in you, Dan.”

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“I just love her so much,” he smiled, his eyes reflecting the sun “and I would do everything for her. Do you understand? Anything! I would tear this whole world apart for her if she asked me to. I would take down every star in this damn sky if it meant that she would give me a single chance, no matter how tiny. I would wait my whole life if that’s what I had to do so I could have her even only for a single day.”
She nodded, trying to hold back her tears while looking at the only person in this universe that she knew she would ever love. “I’m glad.” she said quietly and hoped that he wouldn’t hear the tears. “I’m glad that you’ve found love. Something like that is quite rare, you know? Knowing that you will never be able to love anyone else because this is your person. I’m glad that you’re happy.”
“I am. Love is such a beautiful thing, do you know that? It’s the most beautiful thing the world has to offer. And once you’ve loved, you know what it feels like to be alive. And I have loved. I do love. More than anything.” he looked at her and her breath hitched in her throat, hoping that despite everything he had just said, maybe there was a tiny chance he would see that the person in front of him was someone that was ready to love him more than anyone else. “I hope that you’ll be able to experience the same one day.”
So she put all the energy she had left into forming one last tiny smile before he turned around and started walking towards the car. And she watched the boy of her dreams drive off to the girl he loved more than anything else.
—  I wish this was fiction
e.e.

My dear trans and nonbinary kids, 

Don’t feel silly for describing your gender in poetic ways or for using visual comparisons to describe your gender - Cis people do that all the time. 

There are so many things that we think of in gendered terms. A good example is how some cultures think of the moon and sun as female and male. Logically, neither the sun nor the moon have anything to do with gender and there’s no scientific explanation why one would be male and the other one female. And yet, in some cultures, there’s no doubt that they represent a certain gender or relate to femininity/masculinity. And there’s nothing wrong with that. 

Symbolic language is not only beautiful, it’s also very useful to express ourselves.

So, why should symbolic language be acceptable for cis people only? Why would we laugh at nonbinary kids to compare their gender to, for example, stars? There’s no reason why that wouldn’t be acceptable. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 

Marrying Jung Hoseok

Series: Park JiminJeon Jungkook | Kim Namjoon | Min Yoongi | Kim Seokjin | Kim Taehyung

Originally posted by joeguk

  • You were about to go to bed after a long marathon of all your favorite kdramas, which had subsequently led you to laughing, smiling and crying simultaneously, when knuckles rapping loudly against the door made you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. 
  • “W-Who is it?” You asked cautiously, walking towards the door with slow steps. 
  • “It’s me” 
  • “Hobi, what’re you doing here so late?” Your hands reached for the door but you stopped yourself, “We aren’t supposed to see each other before the wedding, is everything okay?” 
  • “Yeah,” His voice was unsure and you leaned against the door, “I-I was just wondering if you were, I don’t know, having second thoughts?”
  • His question caught you off guard, worry and anxiety striking your heart
  • “I’m not, are you?” You replied back, voice steady and calm
  • “No but I just,” You could hear a stifled cry, “I just don’t want you to regret this, to regret being with me.”
  • You scoffed at his words, god if only you could open this door, you’d yell at him for even suggesting such a thing.
  • “Baby,” You cooed softly, knowing that yelling wasn’t going to do either of you any good, “I love you and one day, maybe after a few years of being with you, I want to look in the mirror and see someone like you, someone capable of sacrifice, courage and love.”
  • “I could never regret marrying you, Jung Hoseok and I can’t wait to get married to you tomorrow.”
  • You could hear a soft laugh mixed with a sob and smiled softly to yourself. If only you could open the door and hug him, it would’ve been perfect.
  • Damn you and your stupid superstitions.
  • “Ugh, I’m supposed to be the one making you cry, not the other way around.” He chuckled and you could feel his weight pressing against the wood of the door.
  • “Sadist, aren’t you?” You giggled, “Well, I’d stay and talk but I need to go to bed if you don’t want your girl to have raccoon eyes tomorrow.”
  •  “Oh hush,” He remarked, “Fine, sleep well, I’ll be waiting for you at the altar.”
  • “I’ll be the one in white.”
  • The next morning, you woke up calmly and were making yourself a nice cup of tea when your best friend came barging in with a few other girls trailing behind her, no doubt holding multiple bags of make-up, shoes, accessories and whatnot.
  • And when she saw you sitting calmly by the counter, sipping tea.
  • She took a deep breath, willing herself not to yell at you and spoke to you in the most sarcastic of tones
  • “Will your majesty please go have a fucking bath so she can get dressed for her fucking wedding?”
  • “Can’t even speak a full sentence without swearing, can ya?” You chuckled, putting the mug in the sink before going to do as she asked, “God, I should’ve never picked you as my maid of honor.”
  • “Hush,” She replied, pushing you into the room, “The dress is on the bed, please try to hurry up, won’t you?”
  • After that it was a blur of getting dressed and letting her have her way and putting on your makeup and fixing you hair
  • Although you had to admit, the end result was more than worth it.
  • “Thank you so much,” You spoke softly as you neared the venue in your car, your hand gripping hers as she was on the phone, checking with her husband if everything was going well on the groom’s side, “For everything.”
  • “Anything for my best girl.” She chuckled as the car halted to a stop, stepping out before you and helping you with the dress as you walked towards the elevator.
  • Unsurprisingly, your wedding was on the rooftop of the hotel, with enough people there to make it memorable but not messy
  • “Ready to go?” Your father asked, holding his hand out and with a nod, you linked your arm with his as you walked down the aisle.
  • You saw Hoseok, standing under the makeshift arch, looking absolutely perfect and ethereal in his suit with his smile so bright, you almost felt your eyes squeezing shut from the brightness
  • Once you reached him, your father let go of your hands, giving Hoseok an approving pat on his back as he held your hand.
  • And then the priest began reciting all the cliché lines, Hoseok repeating it with fervor and as much as it painied your pride to admit it, you did too
  • And then comes the time for the vows
  • And for you to sob like a three-year old who dropped their ice cream
  • “Baby,” He cooed softly, “I don’t even know where to start, gosh,” He was frazzled, millions of thoughts running through his mind but he settled on a few, “Yesterday, when I was at your door all terrified and scared, your words calmed me down instantly, just like how you help me feel at ease every time I get stressed at work.”
  • “And I just want to say, that you’re the only one in front of whom I can break down, bare myself with all my weaknesses without the slightest bit of hesitation because you, you are the only one who can put me back together.”
  • “And that’s because you make me whole.”
  • In your mind, you’re already remarking, oh great, I won’t be able to say anything because I’m dead, k thanks, peace out
  • So, after a few minutes of sobbing and your cheeks stained with tears you manage to speak:
  • “I may not be the best of people, hell, I’m probably even the worst but you, you make me so unbelievable happy and warm and just so happy. When I’m with you, everything else is secondary to me because to me, you are my priority. You are my sun, moon and stars, shining oh so brightly in my life and illuminating the darkest of my days.”
  • “And even though I doubt I can make you as happy as you make me,” You paused, taking a deep breath, “I will, for the rest of my life, try to love you the best I can.”
  • You can already hear your best friend cry, her husband, Jimin, comforting her in his arms as you leaned in to kiss Hoseok, both your cheeks wet with tears as they pressed against each other yet you had never felt so warm, so happy.
  • Once you break away from the kiss, the priest himself shedding a tear at your vows, officially pronounced you husband and wife, the guests burst into an applause and you smiled embarrassedly as you leaned against Hoseok who has his hand wrapped around his waist.
  • The rest of the evening goes into attending to your guests, engaging in conversations with your friends and receiving some really emotional yet mildly amusing toasts from all of them.
  • As they begin to leave, you and Hoseok head for your room in the hotel, having booked one of the most amazing honeymoon suites that they had to offer.
  • So, you go into your bathroom, putting on the most ridiculous piece of lingerie you had ever seen, yet you had let your best friend convince you into buying it, saying something about how good your ass would look in it.
  • And so, you washed your face, ridding it of the makeup, brushed your hair and put it on, eyeing yourself warily in the mirror but after a few minutes of contemplation, gave up and walked out.
  • Only to find Hoseok lying on the bed in one of the fluffy white bathrobes with a rose in his mouth that hilariously dropped to the floor when he saw you.
  • “Oh, dear lord…”
  • You shifted uncomfortably where you stood, hands flying up to cross at your chest before yelling, “I’m going to go change!”
  • “Don’t you dare, baby girl,” His deep voice grabbed your wrist, pulling you back and slamming you against the wall, “I like it.”
  • And that’s when you realize that domseok has come out to play.
  • But you’ve never been one to back down from a fight.
  • Leaning back, you look cockily at him before speaking in a stern tone
  • “Why don’t you,” Your fingers pulled his chin up, kissing the length of his throat, “Show me how much you like it, babe?”
  • And let’s just say the rest of the night goes rather spectacularly
  • With you whispering about how much you love your husband when he’s begging for you and him whispering back how much he loves his wife when she’s screaming his name at the top of her voice.
  • But in all seriousness, once you’re done with your night’s celebrations and you’re lying comfortably in each other’s embrace holding your hands
  • Your fingers running over the gleaming silver adorning each of your finger’s
  • You can’t help but feel happy, like everything is just the way it was meant to be
  • And you have nothing short of an eternity of it with each other.

Originally posted by jinful

~Admin Sangria (who hopes this killed her wife, Midnight) 

A happy reunion

I can’t believe that I’m finally getting to see you; the girl that’s been on my mind for so long. It seems like it’s been forever since I saw you last. My heart starts to race as I begin planning what’s going to happen. As I get closer and closer to your place, my mind floods with all of these small romantic ideas, that eventually turn into panicked thoughts when I figure out they aren’t good enough. “ stark, she deserves better than that. Come on man, think.” I say to myself as another mediocre idea takes form. Unfortunately, the clock runs out. I pull into her driveway, with no plan whatsoever. My palms instantly start sweating as I approach the door slowly, shuffling nervously up the walkway. “ just cut your losses. She probably didn’t hear your car pull in, you could just turn around and leave. No one would know.” Except I would know. I don’t think I’ve wanted anything else more in my life. Thinking of that gives me a refreshing splash of confidence as I reach the door. If you want something, you go get it. I knock on the door, standing semi-confidently preparing myself for what’s on the other side. Foot steps approach, and she opens the door. I look up to see the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. The kind that look innocent, but cut right through you to your core. I’m stunned. She stands there in a beautiful sundress, looking at me for a moment. I forget how to speak, I can’t say anything. Luckily she breaks me free from my silent prison. “ you’re here!” She shrieks happily, running to me, wrapping her arms around my neck as she jumps up into my arms for a hug. She begins barraging me with kisses, her cheeks wet with tears. Holding her, I walk through the door and shut it behind me. “ you have no idea how happy I am to see you moon ( her nickname. She’s the sun, the moon, and all of the stars to me. I call her moon for short)”. Between kisses, she says “ stark…sooo many miles…. so happy…. to see you… don’t talk”. Our kisses continue, becoming less frantic and more loving. I kick off my shoes and her legs wrap around me as I walk over and sit down on the couch, her on my lap. She runs her fingers through my hair, instantly comforting me, sending my head to rest on her chest. After just a moment I begin kissing her her skin exposed on her chest, and up her neck. My hands find their place on her hips as our lips meet again. Her hands grasp both sides of my head as she pulls me in. I give her deep passionate kisses, leaving us both breathing heavily. I use one hand to pull her strap off of her shoulder, exposing it to my warm lips as I kiss across her collar bone. Her hands go down to the bottom of my shirt. She slips them under and presses her soft hand on my abs. My hands slowly scrunch up her dress until they’re resting on her bare skin. Electricity is coursing through her skin into my fingertips. It feels like my hands are tingling. She then pulls back her kiss, lifts my shirt up and takes it off, exposing my skin to the cool air. my hands go to the small of her back inside of her dress, and I give her goose bumps as I lightly trace shapes with my fingertip, driving her wild. Her hands got to my belt buckle then my zipper, making quick work of the clothing I have left. Our pulses quicken, our breath becomes more ragged, our touch, more aggressive. We start to feel it more and more, the magnetic attraction. My hands go back down to her hips and my fingers hook inside the waist band of her panties. I pull and rip them, making sure not to hurt her. I throw the piece of cloth across the room. She gets up quickly, strips my pants and boxers off me, and then returns to her previous position on my lap as lust grows between us, she begins to rock her hips back and forth on my lap, rubbing against my hardening member. I reach up and free her other shoulder from its strap, and pull down on the dress slightly, exposing her beautiful breasts, ready for my touch. We keep grinding as I lightly kiss, suck, and tease her hard nipples, driving her wild. She lifts her body up, sending me a message that she can’t wait any longer, and neither can I. I line up my now throbbing cock, and she slowly lowers herself on it, pushing further and further until her body won’t allow any more. My hands go to her waist, and I control her as I swirl my hips and thrust upwards causing her to moan. I allow her to push back down, driving my cock deeper into her. She lets out a small whimper as my finger finds her clit, and starts light slow strokes. After a few minutes of this treatment, I feel her start to squeeze me inside of her. The friction and the thought of her cumming is too much. Our pace quickens and my fingers grip her amazing toned ass tightly as we climax together. She grabs my hair and pulls my head back as I let out a growl. In the very last moments, our lips come together and our tongues twist together as her body begins to shake, and my muscles harden, rocking our hips together as we both orgasm.

Golden - Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader

Summary: Lin-Manuel is holding his daughter for the first time. 

Words: 1,077 (short and sweet!)

Warnings: There is death at the end but it’s like cute but you know it’s like…yeah

A/N: WOW. Day 5: Reverse POV day is happening. I cannot believe this. I barely got this done in time so it’s super bad, but it’s the thought that counts! Enjoy. 

askbox | masterlist


Eldora Luz Miranda, whose name meant golden was born on a wet day full of rainstorms on April 23rd.

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Baze Malbus is so important to me, you guys. Specifically the actor that portrays him. I need to talk about Jiang Wen.

He is my favourite director and actor from Mainland China. And he’s just… so cool. And so brilliant. Man is a genius. I didn’t even know he could speak English until I saw Rogue One.

And now that he’s been in Rogue One, I can reblog fan art of Baze Malbus. I can buy a toy of Baze Malbus and have a tiny Jiang Wen to put on my desk and admire. There is currently nothing I want more in my life than a tiny Jiang Wen.

Like…

If you don’t know anything about him as an actor, imagine something like a Chinese Clint Eastwood with a hidden soft side, and you’re basically on your way to understanding the wonder of this man. For Western audiences right now, his appearance on the mainstream film stage is a chance to get to know another facet of Asian masculinities. Asian men in film can be stone-cold badasses without having to be martial-arts masters, without having to be made to seem asexual, without having to be set up as supervillains. They hit that on the head with Baze, who is super cool, genuinely heroic, and probably getting it on with Chirrut. And I am so, so happy that people in the West can get to know him now.

To look at an actor like Jiang Wen from the perspective of Chinese history is fascinating. He was an unsupervised army brat in Beijing when the Cultural Revolution was going on. That was a ripe time and place for youth gang activity, since everyone was either busy with revolution, or at labour camp. He’d likely have been part of/peripheral to that 1970s hooligan culture that romanticised heroism and bonds of sworn brotherhood like in Chinese kung-fu epics, and spent weekends clashing violently in the streets with bicycles and meat cleavers.

When the revolution was over, prominent male intellectuals were taking to the media to discuss how they felt ‘emasculated’ by Maoism, since gender roles (especially femininities) had been kind of in chaotic flux for ten years; now there were voices in the media calling for basically a return to gender essentialism. During that trend Jiang Wen sort of emerged as one of the faces of this ultra-macho post-Maoist masculinity, kind of a return to something essential and primal, something “natural” after all the political artifice of the Cultural Revolution. See Red Sorghum, a film that literally has him running around a stark yet idyllic rugged Northern backdrop, sweating and half-naked, getting drunk and engaging in ritual singing with his fellow male wine distillers. Of course, gender essentialism and machismo are problematic. Machismo in Chinese culture and history in particular has had and is still having tragic effects. But I’m inclined to believe that it’s the homosocial camaraderie that is the most important part of the work in this early part of Jiang’s career (from the 80s to about 2000), that offers space for exploration of a host of different Chinese masculinities, and that it’s important for Western audiences to be exposed to it. Plus, there’s that soft side I mentioned. The man brings his mum and dad on his shoots, for chrissakes.

All that is not even to say anything of his crazy talent as a director, which I’m way less qualified to talk about and I’ll probably vomit up a lot of meaningless words. Just go watch In the Heat of the Sun and Devils on the Doorstep right now, if you can handle gross images of war, violence and dubious sexual situations.

Anyway, tumblr, please keep the Baze art coming. I may or may not paper my office in it.

I
The day you first smiled at me,
you were eleven and I was twelve
and she didn’t hit me back home.
Little fairy, you have always fulfilled
my deepest wishes.

II
When you called me your friend,
you were dressed in purple
and my stomach didn’t hurt as we danced.
I wondered if I should have kissed you then,
but you were happy with him
and that was enough.


III
I dried your tears because I cared.
Believe me,
I tried to protect you from him after
I noticed I didn’t liked seeing you hurt.
If I could, I’d go back and tell you the truth
since the begining,
I’d do it in a heartbeat.


IV
My jacket suits you better than his arms,
and your lips will always be my favorite flavour.
It hurt me, too.
But I will never touch you unless you want me too,
I will always be whatever you need me to.
As long as you are okay, I’ll be that.


V
I did saw you.
You looked so beautiful when I made that joke,
and your touch stayed with me for months,
just like your birthday kiss
and the sensation of your palm touching mine.


VI
I also know I looked bad,
know that I felt bad  and couldn’t care less.
But when the summer came,
and you were here,
I cared.
That was me, being better for me,
because of you
for the first time.


VII
Kissing you that day was a stellar moment in my life,
following you around and beyond a first.
It felt like the last, too.
And the only one. 
For me, it still feels that way.


VIII
I would call you mine everyday,
I would call you my sun,
my stars and my moon,
everything and anything, you.
You have no idea how many times I did it when you weren’t there,
just to make it clear to them,
I wasn’t letting you go anywhere anytime soon.


IX
There’s times when I laugh
remembering my fear and reaction to your words.
Sometimes I forget we were both kids
and that you have never shied away from love.
But you loved me,
not him or someone else,
me.
Suddenly,
everyting else didn’t matter.


X
Having you in my arms
will always be my favorite position to sleep.
Your heart beating against my touch,
your breathing matching mine,
your dreams becoming ours.
Best moment of my day.


XI
What I did still matters to me,
everything felt like changing after
and you never looked at me the same way.
I mean it, and I still do:
I love you,
I do,
I will always love you,
and I will always be sorry about that.


XII
I’m sorry.
       I’m sorry.
              I’m sorry.
                      I’m sorry.
                             I’m sorry.
                                    I’m sorry.
                                           I’m sorry.


XIII
You are never coming back,
don’t you?
I love you still,
I will succumb to the infinity of it.


XIV
I’m sorry.

—  love story. // jackie on my mind. nc.
The signs as drivers
  • "My car I choose the music": Aquarius, Libra, Virgo, Gemini
  • "Do not touch anything, do not eat in my car, do not sweat in my car, hell do not breathe in my car": Capricorn, Aries, Scorpio, Cancer
  • "Wooooo! DRIVING!": Sagittarius, Pisces, Leo, Taurus

shegayjim  asked:

i love WENDY!!!!!!!!! she is my gf now i love her, pls,, tell us more about her?? anything cool/pertinent we can know about my new sun and stars....?

Her name is Wendy “ask me about my feminist agenda” Hsiao and her parents own a chain of bookstores. She can speak Cantonese fluently.
She has a fondness for horror movies and she finds Noah’s passion for horror movies and directing one interesting. She’s totally bffs with Poppy altho they probably didn’t get along at first.
Poppy: *putting books into her locker*
Wendy: *leans over the lockers* hey
Poppy: what do you want Hsiao
Wendy: we’re sort of the same
Poppy: what’s your point
Wendy: bad bitches should have each other’s backs
Poppy: *wiping a tear from her eye* u rite.. wanna spraypaint Collin’s car pink?
Wendy: I’m down. I like your Daria shirt
FRIENDSHIP

Her favorite book is The Little Prince

-almost got expelled over lipstick. What did she do? She saw some girl not allowed to take her exam because of extra tiddyage so she got mad and defaced school portraits by drawing boobs on the school principal paintings with lipstick. She would have been expelled but her family is #influential so the school let her off with a warning and a month’s worth of detention. Mrs. Hsiao would be upset but noope she isn’t.

-singlehandedly runs the cheering squad with an iron fist like Poppy runs the baseball team. Evil girls……

Wendy: not to be hetero but Sufjan Stevens? I’d marry him.
Malek: full homo I agree. He’s the softest man on earth and I want to make out with him.