anything but this crap

screams

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee.

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialized area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theater full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

MBTI Types When They’re Not Thriving OR Surviving

Scl(any sort of stress/sadness)

INTJ: Super withdrawn, swings between gratification and wanting happiness, and unhealthy single-mindedness. Existential angst. Needs people’s support but rejects company. Bottles up issues and then it bursts out.

ENTJ: Prone to attack others, often over the very issues they’re insecure about. Becomes a workaholic and ignores feelings of deep dissatisfaction, or stops giving a crap about anything. 

INFJ: Despairs of all things, just can’t see The Point of it. Goes through days mechanically, without purpose. Resists all help, considering it to be probing. Can’t get anything done. 

ENFJ: Laughs a bit too loudly and smiles a bit too widely. Escapes to private places, but feels lost. Tells their problems to someone close to them, but doesn’t accept any advice.

INFP: Isolate, isolate isolate. Sees the negative in everything and can’t see others’ love/affection for them. Loses their ‘purpose’ and drive, can’t find meaning in anything. Idealizes what they can’t have. Perpetual self-pity-party. 

ENFP: Super excitable, overdoes everything. Cannot focus at all, and their own emotions/reactions are out of their control. Breaks down sobbing. Unwilling to actually move forward. 

ISFP: Mull around in their own feelings, hates the world around them, because it’s failed them. Spiraling moodiness, “what ifs,” “should’ve done this,” but no one will ever see that. They themselves won’t admit it.

ESFP: Unusually critical, closed-minded, and overly concerned with matters of appearance over substance. Terrible sense of logic, yet argumentative all the same. Delves into the physical world in order to escape their mental one. 

ISTJ: Scattered mind, unable to think coherently. Becomes judgmental and passive-aggressive. Super pessimistic, takes on a me vs. the world mentality.

ESTJ: Intensely prickly, will take offense at anything but prefers to strike first and strike hard. If you hit a nerve, they’ll cut you out of their lives (for the time being). Tries to act happy and in control, but actually really moody. 

ISFJ: Withdrawn, tries to please everyone but is really passive-aggressive about it. Takes on a martyr complex. Refuses help while throwing a pity party because “no one cares about them.” 

ESFJ: Seeks control of people and surroundings, bossy and irritable. Might manipulate others into feeling bad, too. Denies that they’re the problem. 

INTP: Makes a lot of jokes about how things aren’t okay, but aggressively resists anyone’s sincere attention. Turns flat and emotionless, takes compartmentalizing to an unhealthy extreme. 

ENTP: Scatterbrained, cannot focus. Swings between extremes of emotions, but makes a point to show a falsely sanguine face to people. Feels like they’re crumbling from the inside. 

ISTP: Compulsive and reckless. Has a “screw this” attitude and pushes away actual problems. May or may not confide in people, but too down to take any advice. 

ESTP: Use bravado and ‘self-confidence’ to mask their insecurities. Get a rush from attention, whether it’s positive or negative, and thus seek it out. Obsessive mentality, particularly concerning negative outcomes.

@phichit-week day one: free day

phichit+snow
(i am healed)

stop attacking @bunblevee for being my “”“2.0”“”“”. I’ve been friends with vivi for so goddamn long and i’ve been trying my best to comfort them everytime this kind of bullshit happens. vivi is literally 13. you’re attacking a CHILD. a child who makes beautiful and amazing art!!! WHO IS NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST COPYING ME OR ANYONE ELSE IN THE SLIGHTEST!!!!!! don’t compare me or anyone to them. hell don’t compare any artist to any other artist if they’re not okay with it because it’s discouraging as hell. tldr: vivi is a great artist and person and hasn’t done anything to deserve this crap. leave them the fuck alone

anonymous asked:

I absolutely love your art and your blog. If you get the chance could you maybe draw some more unmasked Tali she is my fave???

shucks thank you!! and ur in luck i was already working on some more tali designs :OO


She kinda has the boring grey alien head shape but i wanted to be close to the original unmasked tali concept art and since javik said that quarians are really attractive, i added in some prothean-ish features

 i’ve heard that quarians most likely would be brownish if they were real and scientifically accurate but fuck it she’s gonna be purple because aesthetic™

also pointy teeth are a must i won’t accept anything else

Today I was struck by a terrible conviction that Jack Zimmermann is a hardcore hockey history nerd who can only occasionally be persuaded to care about anything else that happened in the past.

In elementary school they had to do a report on “My Hero” and Jack researched Jacques Plante and talked for an extremely excited ten minutes about how Plante had a 27-year career and won six Stanley Cups and seven Vezina trophies and was the first goalie in the NHL to play outside the crease and he engineered the use of goalie masks and was a major innovator in player safety and Jack made this papier-mache copy of Plante’s first hockey mask and his dad helped him drill out holes so he could breathe and–

“Jack, who was John Cabot?”

“I don’t know.  Did he play hockey?”

“Jack, tell us about life for settlers* in early Quebec” (*french: les habitants)

“Well, before a game the team* always used to…” (*hockey: Les Habs)

If you want him to talk nonstop for an hour, ask him what he thinks the greatest hockey game of all time was. 

He got over it his monofocus eventually, but only just by extending his laserlike concern to broader topics like “World War II”–he still doesn’t give a crap about anything outside his area of interest.  It’s still less true to say he is a history geek than to say he took every class Samwell offered related to hockey, from Sports Management to Kinesiology to Human Ecology 267: History of Leisure and Recreation, and then looked at his credits and went, “Huh, I could make a history degree out of this.”

It still pains me that Jackie/Hyde had so much potential to be a healthy, loving couple, that made one-another better people and loved each other enough to talk about their problems and support each other through them without jumping to conclusions but it was all ruined because the writers choose unnecessary drama over giving the audience a well developed relationship.

Cuddles are the best remedy

Words: 691

Genre: Fluff (that’s all I know how to write apparently)

Warnings: Dan swears a bit, but what’s new

Description: Dan wakes up feeling unwell, and it’s way too early for him to deal with this

Read on AO3


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