//so I was thinking this morning (always a dangerous sign) that I’ve talked a bit recently about how the Tumblr RP community isn’t always very good at encouraging people to find ways to manage or get to their drafts, and is instead more likely to coddle peoples’ anxieties without actually helping them at all.
So this is a post of a few tips and tricks that might help RPers manage some of the more common anxieties I see crop up in our circle. Now, I’m not a full psychologist and nor am I licensed counselor. But I do have my master’s degree in clinical psychology with the intention to go on for the PhD (or get licensed to practice if I don’t get into a program) so I do kinda know what I’m talking about. Hopefully some of this advice is a little helpful:
1. “My drafts just stress me out.” This is a pretty common complaint, but I think in most circumstances it’s caused by stress going on outside of the RP world. Take a step back and breathe. Handle whatever is going on in your real life. That always comes first. If you come back and your drafts are still causing you to feel panicky, the next step is to find out the more specific reasons why. That’s going to help you best address the anxiety. Read on for some common reasons.
2. “I’ve gotten so behind, there’s so many and I’m overwhelmed.” This happens all the time! You take a hiatus for a week or two, or life just got really busy for a while, or just lost muse and now it’s back. But in the meantime, your drafts have piled up- suddenly you’re looking at 20, 50, 100- how do you even start?
The best way I’ve found to handle this is to break them up into smaller chunks. It might be helpful to copy and paste your partners’ replies over into one or more word documents. You can then further organize those word documents even more. One for short replies, one for long, one for medium length. Or you can organize by muses, by how long the draft has been in your folder- whichever way you want to handle this. If you want to put one reply per document, you can organize them into folders instead. How you do this is entirely up to you.
Set a small goal for yourself- even one draft a day is better than no drafts at all.
But by breaking the work up into chunks, you’ve taken a lot of the pressure off yourself. A goal of 1-5 drafts a day is a lot better than looking at all 50.
Another tip- use the queue! Or simply keep completed drafts saved in the drafts folder until you’ve caught up enough to start posting. The queue will stagger your posts so replies aren’t coming out all at once, and your partners aren’t able to immediately reply back. And obviously keeping them in drafts even after they’re done lets you have more time to catch up. These are just a couple of tips, however, and there are probably other good ways to manage drafts. Find what works best for you!
And don’t be afraid to drop a couple if you have no muse for those threads anymore. Just let your partner know, they’ll understand. And if they don’t, they’re just an asshole and who needs that, right? It is better to communicate that you’re dropping them, however, so you’re partner isn’t left hanging.
3. “I haven’t replied in weeks, I’m worried my partner hates me.” I guarantee this is not true. Most people in the rp community are very understanding of slow response time. Your partners want to rp with you- they’ll be thrilled to see a response, even if it’s been several weeks. Responding, even slowly, shows a lot more dedication and excitement over your threads.
So if it’s been several weeks, and you finally have muse for that thread and want to reply to it, but feel guilty or anxious because it’s been so long- reply anyway. Your partner will be so happy to see your response.
Another way to alleviate this anxiety is to simply talk to your partner. And I know, this can be scary- but sometimes you have to bite the bullet and do the thing that makes you anxious. Take it slow if you need to, but communication is the best way to feel better about it. And I guarantee, you are going to feel so much more proud of yourself if you did the thing that made you anxious than if you didn’t.
That goes for replying as well.
4. “I feel so inadequate compared to others. I should just stop.” This is an example of what mental health professionals call a “negative automatic thought”, or “NAT”. And like real gnats, these little thoughts get all up in your ears and start buzzing around. They can spiral out of control very quickly, until you feel absolutely terrible about yourself. These thoughts are very common in people with both anxiety and depression.
But the thing is, they can be changed. You can actually re-wire your brain with a little work so that it won’t think these thoughts quite as often. One of the most effective ways is to simply replace the negative thought with a positive one- even if you don’t believe it. So if your negative thought is “I’m horrible compared to other people,” a replacement thought could be “No, I’m just as good as anyone else,” or “my writing is unique to me and it has value.”
You will not believe yourself at first, and it will seem a little bit weird when you start. It’s also a little challenging- your negative thoughts are automatic, you’re so used to thinking them that you aren’t even fully aware of it it half the time. But when you do catch yourself spiraling off into those negative thoughts- try to stop them. This is something we teach in therapy and over time, it does help. And it does get easier.
5. “It has to be PERFECT.” Perfectionism is at the root of a lot of peoples’ anxieties. But I challenge you with this- why? Why does it have to be perfect? What will happen if it’s not perfect?
The answer to that, usually, is “my partners will hate me/lose interest/think I’m stupid or a bad writer.” Perfectionism is usually a fear of judgment, and it’s usually fueled by feelings of inadequacy or fears of failure. So to that, I refer you back to the previous advice about negative automatic thoughts.
Challenge your thinking about your perfectionism. A good replacement thought for this one is “even if it’s not perfect, my partner will still be happy that I responded. My writing is still valuable to them.” Another good one- “imperfection means there’s room to grow. Mistakes don’t mean I’m a failure or no good.”
In general, don’t let anxiety say “I can’t do this.” You can do it. Anxiety is not a permanent state. The body cannot sustain it very long- the elevated heart rate, heavy breathing, heightened arousal- it’s physically impossible for it to last. Eventually, your body will start to calm itself and even back out. This is something that is very hard to sit with, because your natural instinct is to run away from the thing that’s making you anxious. Your instinct is to close the drafts folder, to close the messenger, to log out of tumblr and ignore it all completely. But the truth is, that only makes your anxiety worse in the long run.
Now, if these tips don’t help, or you’re finding your anxiety is so bad that it’s affecting your daily life in almost everything- I encourage people to please see a psychologist, psychiatrist, or some other mental health professional. Anxiety that’s chronically preventing you from doing the things you enjoy is anxiety that probably needs treatment. Having the extra support of a therapist or medication often makes it possible to implement some of these strategies, or find better ones that work for you. Especially if you’re having a hard time managing things on your own.
Anybody that wants to add to this with other ideas that have been helpful to you, please feel free to do so.
Comparing Keith and Shiro’s eye colors, Keith has noticeably purple eyes, even when they’re in the same lighting:
This is from the same scene, when they’re standing outside talking in s1e1.
Now, outside of purple being the commonly associated Galra Color ™, it’s an unusual eye color for humans. Pidge has hazel eyes, Lance has blue eyes, Hunk has dark brown eyes, and Shiro’s are gray- we don’t exactly have a plethora of unusual eye colors here.
The other fun thing?
He seems to get it from his dad.
The only scene we’ve seen his dad so far in has heavy orange tint, but if we take what we know here ^ in neutral lighting:
The colors used are almost exactly the same. Dad Kogane’s are a little more desaturated which might suggest his eyes are a lighter shade of purple- the “bright” section of the eye is also wider. (for maximum clarity, I only color selected on the eye that’s in direct light here, not the shadowed one, because there’s no shadow on Keith’s eyes)
I’d love to test this by trying to neutralize the orange, but, I have no idea how to do that. If anybody knows and wants to help out, I’d be much obliged.
In storybooks you read about normal people who fit in, the world has a place for them, they belong somewhere, and their life has some grandiose purpose.
And then you read about that one character who never really fits in anywhere. This character never has a backstory because their mission is to help and that’s all that matters. They come into the story rather surprisingly and then one day disappear leaving a beautiful understated legacy.
I relate to that one character. I’m here now, I want to help anybody who needs it, I want to make the world more beautiful, but there’s really no place for me in this world to stay too long. Because it’s really not about me, it’s about the people who need helped and the hearts that need loved.
I’m having a crummy night and want to write but can hardly manage even a few sentences. So if anybody wants to help, tell me an OC or an AU you want to know more about, and I’ll try to write a little bit?
Out looking for moving boxes and I can’t find a place that sells them.. do they sell boxes in like Walmart or Target? Also, gonna meet up with some friends for lunch and try to convince them to help me move :D I’ll probably have to pay them lmao. Still better than hiring a moving company
Summary: After returning from a particularly difficult mission, you don’t want anything to do with anybody. Guilt is eating away at you and you’re finally forced to open up to your friend, Cassian.
Author’s Note: This has been stuck in my head for what feels like forever! It is my first Star Wars fic, so I hope it’s okay. I just love Cassian so much and I loved writing him. I’ve had a lot going on in my life, and I think this piece is really a reflection of that. It is angsty as all get out, so beware. Please let me know what you think!!! Enjoy :)
Warnings: Language; ANGST; seriously, this whole thing is like one big angst fest; smidge of fluff; mentions of murder
Not wanting (or maybe not able) to face anybody, I trudged
back to my quarters without so much as a ‘hello’ to anyone after arriving back
at the Yavin 4 base. As if on autopilot, I shed my dirty clothes, covered in
dirt and grime and blood, and headed for the shower, washing up before
following my nightly routine and crawling into bed. Sleep didn’t come.
My birthday is two weeks away now on August 3rd. With disability fucking me around I’m going to be too broke to do anything for myself this year. I’ve had my eye on some hobby tools that may be able to actually help me make some money and it would be really awesome if anybody wanted to help me towards getting tools for my birthday. I’m looking at getting a hot wire foam cutting kit, hot glue gun, assorted knives, and new bits for my rotary tool. I’m looking at it costing around 300$ for the tools I need to begin projects. Any amount people would want to help towards this goal for my birthday would be super cool.
Characters from SU as: Friends You have that Concern You
Pearl: You ask them what they had for breakfast, and they tell you they haven’t eaten anything but a single apple for the past two days.
Amethyst: Jokes about killing herself to the point where you’re not entirely sure if they’re really just joking or not.
Ruby: Gets in fights every day. Has never gotten caught, but has had several close calls.
Sapphire: Never tells anyone what’s wrong when they’re very obviously upset. “Fine” and “I’m just tired, I swear” are personal favorite sayings of theirs.
Garnet: The group’s therapist. Burdened with everyone else’s problems, and never tells anybody when they’re upset because they think they’re supposed to be the “strong” one.
Peridot: Overworks until they’re overstressed and irritable. Doesn’t believe in sleep, and proudly mentions that they woke up at 4 AM in casual conversation.
Lapis Lazuli: A Grab-Bag of mental illness. Casually confesses that they’ve cried themselves to sleep every night for the past month. Actively makes half-assed suicide attempts.
Jasper: An asshole with stunted social skills to the point where they just insult others to have some conversation at all. Reluctantly reveals one night that they just want someone to care about them.
Connie: Eats lunch in the library alone because they don’t have any friends in that period, and they don’t want to sit alone on the bench in the cafeteria. Slight abandonment issues.
Steven: Constantly tries to make everyone else happy while simultaneously falling apart themselves. Makes sure everyone smiles because they know how much it hurts to feel sad, and doesn’t want anybody else to feel that if they can help it.
Y’know a lot of people are talking about how much they’re looking forward to seeing Odin’s family but honestly I think his family might actually be abusive towards him.
I mean first of all there’s something fishy with his mission to get Maggie. If he was sent to get her because of Tuls, why the fuck did nobody warn him that she might have supernatural powers that could fuck up his mission. If they DIDN’T want her because of Tuls, why the fuck did they send him after this random girl? Either way it sounds like he was set up to fail from the start.
The fact that Crow and Raven were able to find him literally less than a day after he crashed is suspicious.
Not only that but the first thing they do is steal something that’s clearly important to him, tamper with it and replacing what I can only assume is a precious stone with a tracking device. That’s theft and destruction of personal property ON TOP of invasion of privacy rolled into one. This is like putting a tracking device on someone’s phone, there’s no way this isn’t anything BUT creepy.
On top of THAT why didn’t they immediately confront him when they found him? Like seriously they had literally no reason to wait so long. They could have jumped down, told him they were here to get him because his ship crashed, and they would’ve been home a lot sooner. They literally waited until the moment they could snatch him away without Ava’s notice, they’re intentionally trying to isolate him from anybody who could want to help him.
Going back to the mission being fishy, it’s not like Odin was pulling a Leeroy Jenkins and doing this all by himself. He begged and pleaded with Olai to give him this mission. I could understand the tracking device if Odin had done this all by himself, (even if tampering with a clearly treasured item is still really shitty), that wouldn’t be so much an invasion of privacy as it would be trying to make sure he doesn’t do something stupid and dangerous by himself again.
Also, if Maggie was so important, how come they don’t seem to care about where she is or getting her. They seemed pretty focused on just getting Odin back, I mean if they’re really supposed to be fixing his mess then why aren’t they trying to find Maggie?
Am I the only one disturbed by the fact they’re treating their own brother like a freaking criminal? They threaten to shoot him, force him to put on handcuffs, and then send a picture of him in handcuffs to presumably everyone who knows him. They’re actively trying to humiliate him, and don’t give me any bullshit about it being playful sibling banter. I’ve got a younger sibling and he’d never do something to try and humiliate me like these girls are trying their brother.
The fact that they ditched Odin the moment something went wrong also doesn’t reassure me. Yeah they’re twelve so I’m not blaming them for not wanting to stick around. But they didn’t even try to get Odin to come with them. They ditched him the moment danger started coming near, like wouldn’t most siblings be like “COME ON SOMETHING BAD’S HAPPENING WE NEED TO LEAVE”. But nope they ditch him without hesitation, and from their perspective THEY COULD BE LEAVING HIM TO FUCKING DIE.
Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions. Like, maybe Crow and Raven are exceptionally bratty and selfish and I’m reading too much into it. And for all we know the moment we do get to Odin’s planet we’re going to walk in on Olai reading the twins the riot act for their behavior and for leaving Odin to seemingly die.
But I don’t know there’s something not quite right with Odin’s family. And considering the themes we’ve been dealing with so far, would it really be that surprising for familial abuse to come into play?
List of people who might be underground and will help/save Touka
1. S1 squad (tho I doubt it since they always follow Kaneki…)
2. Ayato (he might come up just in time together with the kids from the deep)
3. Takizawa (I haven’t seen him pls let him be underground plssss)
4. AMON and AKIRA (cause ya’ll!!!! No need to explain this!!!!)
I don’t want Kaneki to lose the only person that makes him want to stay alive.