anya personal


TAINTED: Get to know ⇢ Anya Cartwright

❝ to love a monster is to be a monster
likewise, to love a human is to be a human
to feel the darkness is to be the darkness
to find the light is to be the light ❞ (x

The Joker x Reader - “Mommy”

It was a well known fact The Joker’s girlfriend left him with four young children and disappeared. It was also known that his ex stepped up and took care of them even if she didn’t have to. The King of Gotham might have lost his woman, but he never lost his Queen.

You had no idea why The Joker kept on getting her pregnant; she definitely didn’t like to take care of their children nor had any interest in them. But it was none of your business so you kept your mouth shut. J wanted you to continue to work for him and you had no objections: he trusted his ex and you loved what you were doing so it was fine.

They were always fighting and his girlfriend disappeared for days and sometimes even weeks without a phone call or text. The Joker would ask you to babysit Kase while he searched for Anya; the baby was adorable and you didn’t mind.

Even when she was home, you still had to keep an eye on the little one because that woman would simply neglect to change or feed him. J would snap and they would get in such heated arguments you were surprised they didn’t kill each other yet.  If The King of Gotham was the one realizing his kid was lacking the proper nurture, you clearly don’t have too much going on in the motherhood department.

It broke your heart when you would go over to the penthouse and find Kase crying in his crib, hungry and really needing his diaper changed. J was gone with business and she would wonder off God knows where as soon as you stepped inside.

“Oh great, you’re here!” Anya would roll her eyes and sneaked out, leaving without any other explanation.

“Hey buddy, don’t cry. I’m here now,” you used to comfort him and the baby would stop crying as soon as he was changed and fed. Kase sure got a lot of kisses and snuggles since you felt sorry for the poor tiny soul. I mean, what fault did an innocent child had in any of it? None. Absolutely none.

One month after giving birth to the twin boys, Anya was nowhere to be found: three small beings left at their absent mother’s mercy. This time, J didn’t have to ask you to get involved: you offered and he didn’t object. It was exhausting to tend to a toddler and two newborns but you had all the supplies you needed plus help whenever required.

The Joker searched for his woman like crazy and finally found her in Los Angeles and brought her home again. At that point, you were basically staying at the penthouse, raising kids that weren’t yours yet you couldn’t help it. You were attached to them and had the feeling they would end up dead without somebody to care for them.

“Why is she here, hm?” you would hear Anya shout in the middle of the night, the argument escalating with alarming velocity. “Are you fucking her again?”

“I’m not fucking her !!!” he would yell back and it was true. “My ex-girlfriend is here taking care of our children because you don’t !!”

“Why don’t you take care of them? I didn’t get pregnant on my own now, did I?!”

You were sleeping upstairs in the same bedroom with the twins and had to close the door in order not to hear anything anymore. Thank goodness Zane and Aiden were actually pretty good babies, didn’t wake up very often and noise didn’t seem to bother them.

But it pissed you off she was such an ungrateful person! Anya had no idea how many dates you canceled in order to be a surrogate mother to her kids. Your boyfriend lost his patience and dumped you simply because you couldn’t abandon your self-imposed maternal duties.

You and Frost were in charge of J’s security, but you found yourself in charge of his offsprings also. And the bitch was getting on your nerves with her irresponsible and entitled behavior.

When she got pregnant the third time, you got mad. Another kid ??!! Because, you know, things were so great with the first 3!!

Mia was born on a Sunday and Anya vanished two weeks after having her. You were the one that find the note on the kitchen table: “Don’t try to find me, I’m not coming back. Keep the kids.”

The Joker had a terrible fit but didn’t pursuit the idea of going after her, which surprised you in a way. Who knows what was going on in his mind; you didn’t bring up the sensitive subject and J didn’t elaborate more than a few sentences about it.

The Clown Prince of Crime definitely wasn’t the epitome of fatherhood, but he made sure the babies had everything they needed. This desire was mostly coming only from his strong sense of possessiveness: he just knew that they belonged to him and that was it. Besides that, J was completely lost and unable to show anything but very basic emotions, if you could even call them that.


When you are away, the little ones miss you. You just came back after a 5 days trip to New York so the kids follow you around the penthouse like ducklings, wanting attention: a four year old and two year old twins. You are holding the seven month old Mia in your arms and the boys clench to your long dress, stumbling into each other, but not wanting to let go.

“Moooommy,” Kase whines, jealous his sister is getting kisses.

“Mommy, kiss !” Zane pulls on your gown and you have to stop and get down on your knees.

“Who wants kisses?” you smile, letting Mia crawl on the carpet while the boys pucker their lips, impatiently waiting. You snatch all of them in your arms and randomly start kissing them in a frenzy while they giggle, ticklish.

The Joker mutters something on the couch, watching TV. You have an idea about what he might be: he probably made a comment again about the children calling you mommy. You told them to stop calling you that, but they continue to do it. After all, you are the only woman constantly around, taking care of them.

“J ?”

“What?” he bitterly answers.

“Did you even hold them while I was gone?!” you sigh, having a feeling he didn’t since they are so clingy.

“I was busy,” he grumbles, scratching his Batsy tattoo.

“You don’t seem busy now,” you get up, taking Kase’s hand and leading him to his father.”Here,” you help the young boy sit in J’s lap and wrap his arms around his son.

The King of Gotham is not very excited about your move; still he takes a deep breath and asks:

“What’s going on, kid?”

Kase’s eyes get big; he just couldn’t wait for his parent to show some interest in him. The boy starts talking up a storm, something about Legos and his toys. The Joker tries to understand every single word but some are mispronounced and he kind of gets the point, but not entirely.

“U-hum,” he nods his head and the boy rambles on, excited, playing with J’s gold chains.“A-ha, “ he agrees again, intrigued.

“OK daddy?” the question pops up and The Clown Prince of Crime takes the easy way out:


“Yaaayyy, daddy!” and J gets a kiss on the left cheek, then Kase jumps off his lap, running around the living room, screaming and making airplane noises.

“Y/N, what did I just agree to?” a very confused Joker needs to know.

“More toys, especially Legos,” you bring to his knowledge, urging the twins to follow you and you place them on J’s knees.

“Oh, great, because they don’t have enough!” This time he holds them while they bounce their legs, enthusiastic, bickering about who should get more of their father.

“Aiden, don’t slap your brother! How many times did I tell you not to hit each other? If you do that again, you’ll be in trouble!!! Don’t make me repeat myself! J ?? Are you just going to sit there and not react?!!” you scold, picking up Mia since she crawled back you your feet again.

“I think we’re in trouble,” The Joker whispers, rolling his eyes. “Stop fighting I guess,” he enunciates without any trace of enthusiasm. The kids chuckle, pushing one another and cuddling to J’s chest in the process.

“Com’ere, chubby,” the little girl gets a few kisses on her rosy cheeks and she babbles, yawning. “Are you sleepy? I guess it’s time for your nap, hm? Hey J, did the boys eat?”

“Yeah,” he answers, bored and you go to the kitchen, prepare some formula and bring the Princess back. You signal the twins to go play and you place Mia in The Joker’s arms, handing him the bottle.

“Here, feed your daughter.”

He scoffs, not thrilled but does it anyway.

“Aiden, don’t put that in your mouth!” you rush to take the shoe from him and he yells, running to his brothers, taking refuge with everyone under J’s purple coat. They all hide, whispering and thinking that if they can’t see you, you can’t see them either.

“Brats!” you mumble, letting them be for the moment and open the pantry in the hallway. “J ?” you get annoyed, “why do we still have a bunch of baby food with carrots and peas? You know Mia doesn’t like it, I told you to throw it away!”

“I forgot, woman! Give me a break !” he huffs, quite immersed into his current task. The little girl’s eyes wonder off, searching for you and stops sucking from the bottle until she sees you, then begins eating again.

“Moommyyyy,” whining is heard from under the purple coat,” Zane bit me!”

“Don’t bite your brother!” you raise your voice and there is fighting going on and more complaints.

“Mooommyyy, Aiden pinched me!”

Muffled laughter and more quarrel.

“Don’t pinch your brother!” you admonish, taking Mia away from The Joker since she’s fussing and refuses the bottle. “Come on, nap time for everybody!”

The boys emerge from under the jacket, tossing it on the floor and trampling on it, while their father gasps:

“That’s my favorite coat!!!!”

“Moommmyyyy, ice cream?” Zane follows you and you don’t have time to reply because J grouchily interrupts:

“Quit calling her mommy!! She’s not your mother!”

It feels like a slap in the face.

You abruptly stop and the boys bump into you. You turn towards The Joker, your blood boiling with indignation.

“I didn’t teach them to call me that and you know it ! I told them to stop and they won’t ! What do you want me to do, hm?! Glue their lips so they won’t talk?! I know I’m not their mother, you don’t have to remind me!”

J has some elaborated comeback but he doesn’t get the chance to continue because you literally burst out.

“Do you think it’s easy for me to take care of children you had with another woman?! Do you remember what you told me when we were together and I brought up the subject of having kids? You told me you don’t want any!!!! And then you met Anya and you had four !! Which means that you just didn’t want to have children WITH ME in particular ! Do you know how much that hurt?! But I stepped on my pride and raised them for the last four years because I realize they have absolutely no blame in this circus! You don’t like it they call me mommy??! Then bring back that trash-excuse-of-a-girlfriend and make her take care of them!!!!”

The boys shove themselves into you, startled and Mia whimpers, uneasy. You start walking again and J is speechless.

“What the hell was that, Y/N?!” he shouts and you can’t let it go so you extend your tirade. He’s really getting on your nerves.

“In all these years, did you ever thank me for everything I do?! Not even once!!!! And don’t think I’m not aware you sabotage my dates! I know you are saying things to the guys I like, don’t try to deny it!!!!” and you stump up the stairs, get everyone in the twins’ bedroom and slam the door shut.

J takes deep breaths, staring at the ceiling, talking to himself and nothing sounds nice. A few minutes pass and he decides to go after you and barges into the bedroom without knocking. Mia is almost asleep on top of you and the boys are gathered around your body, ready to doze off. They pout, frowning at their father: all they know is daddy said something that upset mommy. You truly look like Mother Hen with little chicks to shelter from the world.

“Building yourself an army with my kids, hm?” J sucks on his teeth and the boys give him mean glares. You reach to kiss the top of their heads, ignoring his remark. “I have a date tonight so I need you to babysit. I hate it when I have to bring others to watch them.”

“Fine, I don’t care. I missed them anyway,” you grumble, getting comfortable; might as well take a nap also.

“OK, done deal,” The Joker lingers in the doorway, debating on a simple idea that came to him while he was downstairs.


You enter the kitchen and notice the table full of boxes: Chinese food delivery from your favorite restaurant. J is already at the table, sitting on a chair and apparently waiting for you to show up.

“Don’t you look dashing,” you make an effort to start the conversation since you are still mad at him.

“I always look dashing,” he scoffs, pushing a chair towards you with his foot. “Sit!”

You hesitate and he insists:

“I said sit!”

Great, you will have to listen to him lecture you now. You do as asked, keeping your composure.

“It’s 8pm, aren’t you going?” you tap your fingers on the table, smelling the delicious food and it makes you hungry.

“As soon as the kids are tucked in and asleep,” he gives you a stupid reason, pretending to give a damn.

“They are asleep, just changed Mia and placed her in the crib.”

“Eat,” J leans over the table and gives you chopsticks. “I ordered your favorites,” and you seem a bit confused when he grabs a pair of chopsticks, opening a box and calmly begins to eat.

“Didn’t you say you have a date?” you bring it up, wanting him to disappear so you can relax and enjoy some quietness.

“I do,” he growls and your reaction is not a happy one when you realize what he means.

“Uggghhh,” you strain to contain your displeased attitude.

“Shut up and eat !” he kicks your chair and you drop the piece of sushi you took a bite from in your lap. “ You made me feel sorry for you since apparently you are not interesting enough to keep a man,” he smirks, pleased he can elaborate on his favorite subject.

“Yeah… right…” you stab your plate, poking a piece of fried calamari. “You’re the one chasing them away.”

“You have proof?”

“I know you are!”

“Ha! I don’t have to, Y/N. You’re just boring.”

You exhale, aggravated, changing the subject.

“Any news from The Queen?”  

Anya randomly calls him from time to time.

“She is no Queen !” J’s eyes suddenly lose their glow, his voice getting husky. “In order for a woman to be my Queen she has to earn my trust; you stopped being my girlfriend a long time ago, but you never stopped being The Queen of Gotham.”

The unexpected disclosure almost makes you choke. The Joker hears you sniffle and sees the tears rolling down your cheeks.

“You need a binky? We have plenty lying around.”

“N…no…” you barely chew on your food, not wanting to cry.

“Anya did call while you were in New York,” J admits and you lift your gaze, interested. ”She said she wants Mia. Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!” he sarcastically laughs,  “Like I’m going to engage into a custody battle of some sorts with her? Our children don’t even legally exist ! You know what else she said?”

He’s getting worked up and you assume the worst.

“She said she wants Mia because she’s not mine! Can you believe that?!” he slams his fist on the table and it makes you anxious.

“What?… No way! Of course she’s yours,” you wipe your watery eyes, the new revelation making you alert again. “The children are all yours !”

You surely don’t like the new twist on this night and leave your chair, going around the table and cup his face, wishing to calm down the demons before they break free.

“Look at me,” and the blue eyes meet yours. “All four are yours. Don’t listen to her; you know how she lies and manipulates things!”

“Mommmyyyyy,” you hear from upstairs. “Moommyyyyy!”

“I think Zane had a nightmare again. I’ll be back,” you caress his hair for a few seconds then leave, insecurity already creeping up in his mind.


The next day you are going out with Alex, one of J’s smugglers. He is picking you up at the penthouse and hangs out with The Joker in the living room, waiting for you to get ready.

“Alex?” J casually scrolls through his phone, smacking his lips.

“Sir?” the guy’s body stiffens, not knowing what to expect.

“If I hear that you upset Y/N in any way, besides the fact that she will break your neck first, I will PERSONALLY make sure your body is never found again. Do we understand each other?”

This is what J always tells to all the guys you date: his way of being protective and he genuinely means it.

“Y-yes sir,” Alex nervously gulps, praying you’ll hurry up so he doesn’t have to be around The Joker’s menacing presence anymore.

An hour into your date and his cell rings. He picks up.

“Hey J, how are the kids?”

Alex’s voice is heard in the background, cracking up about something.

“The kids are fine!” J snaps and hangs up.

How rude, you think, returning to your drink at the bar and partner.

Another hour and a half pass, you call him again.

“J, it’s me. How are the kids?”

“They’re fine woman; go back to your date! The guy is gonna dump you tomorrow and then you’ll blame me again!” and he hangs up.

Jesus, what’s wrong with him? you crack your neck and go back to the table at the restaurant.

Two more hours and another call. This time you don’t even get to say a word before J screams:

“They’re fine!!!!!!” and he hangs up.

Wow, so ungrateful, and you wave Alex to come over on the dance floor since you really want to have fun.


As soon as you get back to the penthouse in the early morning, you go upstairs to check on the children. They are sleeping and you wonder where J went since he is not in his room. You search around and don’t have to go too far: he’s on the balcony. It’s snowing and the pale dawn makes Gotham sparkle under the heavy snowflakes.

“I’m back,” you announce and bundle up inside your coat; it’s chilly and windy. “Insomnia?” you address him, noticing the dark circles under his eyes. He stares at the city he owns, the tall buildings still lit. “Are you ok?” you touch his hands resting on the railing and they are as cold as ice.

“She’s not mine…” J utters, frozen after being outside for hours.

“Huh?” you get closer to him to hear better because his lips barely moved.

“Mia is not mine,” he digs in his coat’s pocket, giving you a few papers and you turn the pages, stunned: they contain paternity test results. It is a match for the boys but no match for the little Princess.

“When did you do this?” you inquire, still in disbelief.

“While you were gone, after she told me. I wanted to make sure and I got the results yesterday after you went on your date,” J sighs, a sharp ache clawing at his heart. “She’s not mine…what am I supposed to do with her now?”

You don’t like the question.

“What do you mean?”

“Mia is not my daughter. I obviously have no use for her; I don’t want her here,” The Joker’s poisonous comment gives you goosebumps.

“How can you say that?! She’s just an innocent baby! It’s not her fault!”
“I don’t want her here!” he barks, lifting the collar of his furry coat.

“Well, I do!” you take action, scared of this new idea of his. “If you don’t want her, I’ll take her! She’s my little girl,” you start crying, hoping to change the outcome of his plans.

“None of the kids are yours!” he pushes you away and storms inside, leaving you petrified on the terrace.


You couldn’t sleep for a second so you spent the last three hours organizing documents and ammo in the basement. You go up to the penthouse again, checking to see if the children are awake. The boys are still dreaming, but when you step inside Mia’s bedroom, her crib is empty and your hearts stops.

“Oh my God!” you immediately wake up from your sluggish state, frightened. “Love bug? Where are you?” and you sweep the room – of course she’s not there.

Your legs are getting shaky as you go downstairs, desperate to find her.

“Jaaayyy? Jaayy?” you call his name and surprisingly he answers from his office.


“Where’s Mia?” you run around, panicking.

“I dropped her at the orphanage downtown, told you I don’t want her!” he snarls from beyond the cracked door and you grab your car keys in a hurry, scared to death. The Joker hears the elevator going down and comes out of the office, holding Mia in his arms.

“Where the hell did that crazy woman go?! It’s a blizzard out there!” J lifts her higher on his hip and she baby talks, smiling so innocently he feels awkward and since there is nobody around, he kisses her forehead repeatedly, squeezing her more to his chest. “Oh, shit, you think she went downtown?!” he asks for the little girl’s opinion like she understands him. “That crazy woman!” The Joker huffs, “She completely lost her mind!”

Mia wiggles in his arms, cooing and making cute sounds.

“I’m glad you agree,” J take his cell out of his pocket and dials your number but the phone goes off on the coffee table: you left it there and he can’t reach you. “Great!” he hums, dialing Frost’s number and his henchman picks up.

“Frost, we have to drive downtown.”


It was very hard to drive on the stormy weather, but you made it to the orphanage and your heart stopped when you heard no child was abandoned there this morning. Did he leave her outside in the cold snow and someone took her?!  You circle the huge building several times, bawling your eyes out because there is no trace of Mia. You even ask a few people brave enough to walk in the tempest but no one saw anything.

You don’t even know where to go; how could he do something like this? Discard such a sweet angel like an unwanted object when you made it clear you would take her. Where is she? Did she crawl somewhere and she is buried under the snow?!

All these thoughts race through your mind as you make your way around the building one more time, cold and tired but not giving up.

You hear heavy steps behind you and The Joker’s voice echoes in the white stillness:

“Are you looking for this?”

You turn around and there she is: he is holding Mia, the baby bundled up in her pink furry coat, wearing that adorable cat ears hat.

You almost trip and fall in the snow, but get to him and snatch her from his grip, distancing away as fast as you can.

“My little love bug,” you keep on kissing her, running towards your car, feverish and anxious while her tiny hands clutch to your jacket.

“What are you doing?” you hear The Joker approaching and you walk faster.

“I’m taking her away!” you shout, struggling to find your car keys and he pulls on your hood, slowing down your movement in order to catch up with you.

“Away? Where, to the penthouse?” J pants, not willing to chase after you again.

“No, away from you where she will be safe! “
“What about the boys?” the problem arises and you become more nervous.

“You left her here in the cold?” you punch his shoulder, trying to pass him but he walks in front of you.

“Are you insane?! Of course I didn’t abandon her in the cold; she was in the office with me!” The Joker growls, pissed.

“You’re a terrible person! I was so worried!” you begin to cry again and Mia winces, uncomfortable in your tight hold.

“We have to go back; the storm is only getting worse. I am fucking freezing since I had to leave the penthouse in a hurry wearing just my purple coat and a shirt, looking for a crazy woman downtown Gotham in this snow storm!! Come on, we’ll send for your car later. Frost is parked across the street,” he gestures, pointing at the black van.

You hesitate and J needs to bring out the mommy in you.

“The boys are probably up by now, wondering how come you’re not there to make them pancakes. You want them to starve to death?!” he over exaggerates, flaring his arms around.

“No, of course not,“ you mumble, following his steps, convinced nobody else on the planet makes better breakfast than you.

“Then hurry up, your kids are waiting!” he has an outburst of clarity while you lean on him for balance, careful not to slip.

You didn’t even realize he referred to his children as yours too, but this is probably why your heart is beating faster.  And all you can think right now is what else you can cook for breakfast.

That’s what mothers do.


I think in all the brouhaha over puzzling or problematic things in Yuri on Ice fandom, you’re all missing the biggest one: that there are people – girls, even! – who think that Anya was wrong to dump Georgi


so this week is really special for me. i am meeting my best friend of four and a half years the very first time if you told year old me that would be getting on plane to finland own meet idiot probably never have believed xd but oona has become so important in life can imagine it without her idea amazing girl just brings tears too excited wanted make little something mark occasion although had totally change video plan these images were start everything. hope she enjoys hard work paid off :D

full video:

anonymous asked:

Prompt: Corrin gets ryouma and Xander together.

So I included flowers because of a mixture of my love for the flower language and also that when you sent this ask, there was lots of flower talk going on in the tag. I had a lot of trouble with this and I still kind of do? I hope you like it, nonetheless. It kind of got away from me, so there is that.

Update: AO3 

Corrin had a problem. Said problem was entirely Ryoma and Xander’s fault, namely that they somehow managed to be two of the most brilliant men that Corrin had the pleasure of knowing while also managing to be two of the most aggravatingly oblivious. It was obvious to almost everyone in the castle that the two at the very least liked each other more than diplomacy called for (besides maybe Takumi and Leo, who were often too busy trying to out-everything each other to be in denial over their brothers’ mutual pining).

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