any time after 2 is usually bad

anonymous asked:

I was just wondering, what sort of coping mechanisms might an adult, on the spectrum but never diagnosed, be likely to have picked up (esp. harmful ones, or ones they may be unaware of) in the process of passing as neurotypical? A lot of what I've been able to find about coping mechanisms has been centered on consequences of Applied Behavior Abuse etc.

there are about a million possibilities or more. so i invite anyone to add their own! (btw, i love how you spell out aba.)

a few of mine:

  • the ability to “postpone” a meltdown until i’m alone, which usually makes it way worse.
  • dissociation when i have to be in bad sensory situations. often combined with shutdown.
  • in social situations, answering questions or telling stories in a way that does not reflect my own thoughts and feelings, but instead repeating something i heard or read somewhere. this is much quicker and leads to more socially acceptable answers than trying to say what i think.
  • being in panic/stress mode literally all of the time in order to get through school, university or work life. as a result, burning out and collapsing every 2-3 years, and harder every time.
  • pushing myself to stay in bad sensory situations without showing any signs of distress. dissociation helps.
  • in general: the ability to have a socially acceptable “outward face” that is still weird and quirky but does not show my distress.
  • having meltdowns in the toilet at work and coming out afterwards with a forced smile.
  • the skill to do almost anything after 2 hours of sleep at night. usually followed by a meltdown in the evening.
  • the ability to control my stimming in a way so i just appear nervous and restless but not too “weird”.

i also have developed some good coping skills that are actually helpful and pleasant for me. for example:

  • lists. making lists of everything. writing everything down. lists are good.
  • a generous supply of excuses for why i can’t do a thing: “i have a headache.” “i don’t have good ears.” (for auditory processing.) “i am tired, i need to sleep now.” “i just like calm spaces.” etc.

  • i could probably think of more but i don’t have the time right now, sorry.

so, followers, if you would like to add anything, please do!


slecnaztemnot  asked:

Re: Damen's ruthlessness, I think that fandom has been calling Damen sweet cinamon roll for so long that we forgot that he is perfectly capable of doing horrible things and doesnt feel any remorse for them. He doesn't feel bad for killing, for example (and regrets killing Auguste only after realizing how it personally affected Laurent). Plus his bouts of rage are pretty dangerous, when he looses control, it ends up with people being dead. And he loses control like this several times in books.1/2

2/2 However, I agree with you that Damen doesn’t seem sadistic, he doesn’t enjoy seeing people in pain, he just… doesn’t care, usually. When he commits violence, he usually goes into some weird state of dissociation where he doesnt realize what he is doing until the deed is done. I think Jokaste underestimates his ability of torturing people because she never saw him on battlefield. But people who saw him being violent usually react pretty strongly - see: the battle at Charcy, for example.

Yes, it’s easy to forget how violent both Damen and Laurent are.

Even Laurent notes Damen’s violence:

‘I thought killing was easy for you,’ said Laurent. His voice was rather quiet. ‘I thought you did it without thinking.’ 

‘I’m a soldier,’ said Damen, ‘and I have been for a long time. I’ve killed on the sawdust. I’ve killed in battle. Is that what you mean by easy?’ 

‘You know it isn’t,’ said Laurent, in that same quiet voice.

In contrast, it could be that the assassins Laurent dispatches in Book 1 are the first men he’s ever killed. Damen is somewhat surprised then that he kills the man when he is already unarmed and subdued:

‘What do you want me to do with him?’ 

‘Hold him still,’ said Laurent. 

He came forward. Damen did as he was told. He felt the man make a renewed attempt to free himself, and simply tightened his grip, aborting the ripple of struggle. 

Laurent lifted the serrated knife, and, calmly as a butcher, sliced open the man’s bearded throat.

But if Laurent has killed anyone before that I can’t think of any canon references to it. 

Outside of fantasy book world, killing typically makes a psychological impression on a person (see this book), so it’s hard to relate to how different it would be for Damen to have experienced so much violence.

Weekend Recap: Brunches, Lunches, & More!

It’s -11 degrees and feels like -36. We have no water because the pipes are frozen, and Grumples has to wear socks to go outside. On a positive note, it’s the perfect time to catch up on blogging. I have a lot of organizing to do with some older posts.

Wherever you are today, stay warm! 

Saturday night, Jeremy’s parents and I headed over to the Charity Room for dinner. We were still celebrating Jeremy’s birthday. I started out with a house salad and ranch on the side.

For my entree, I ordered pineapple glazed grilled chicken with mashed redskin potatoes and the steamed vegetable medley. 

Later that night, we all headed over to our favorite spot, Terry’s Terrace for drinks. I was he voluntary DD that night and was 100% okay with that choice. It was freezing cold, and all I wanted was to warm up with some hot lemon tea. 

On Sunday, I woke up early and had breakfast. After Cindy, Jeremy’s mom, got up and around, we went out in the snow apocalypse for a little shopping date. 

The roads were starting to get bad by the time we got home. We were supposed to meet Jeremy and his Dad at the Brazilian Steakhouse for dinner, but we didn’t want to risk our lives out on the Interstate. 

To warm up, I made a little coconut latte. I usually make these with coconut milk, but didn’t have any in the house. My coconut latte had: 1 cup unsweetened almond milk, 1 pump coconut syrup, and 2 shots of ILLY espresso with coconut sprinkled on top. 

I also had a bowl of popcorn with my latte. I found my new favorite popcorn brand. I’ve had Skinny pop and Boom Chicka Pop and absolutely loved them! But I gotta say…this one tops the cake! It’s called Chia Pop and I found it at Kroger. I know it’s sold at Whole Foods, too. 

For dinner, I made a wrap. I stuffed the wrap with avocados, iceberg lettuce, spinach, turkey, and a slice of mozzarella cheese. 

I’m obsessed with these wraps. They are Low-In-Carb Tumaro’s tortillas. The ones I used were 8" multi-grain. Tumaro’s has tons of different flavors of wraps. I need to find some of them. They are only 60 calories with only 100 mg of sodium (Most wraps have 300 mg +) 6 grams of protein! 7 g of fiber, 2 g fat, and 11 grams of carbs. I love the taste of them, too! I’m going to make enchiladas with them Thursday night! 

Jeremy’s parents were snowed in with us. They decided to stay another night and I was pretty excited! Jeremy drove into work on Monday and I spent the day with his parents. 

Jeremy’s dad went out for breakfast up the road at a little lakeside diner while Cindy slept in. I made a quick brunch for myself. It was a repeat of yesterday’s lunch. I added boiled eggs to this wrap, tho. 

Folding up wraps restaurant style is simple. First, you lay the lettuce on top of a flat wrap, and then the rest of the toppings. Fold one side into the center of the wrap. Make sure it’s folded all the way over so you can’t see any of the fillers and then fold the other side on top and do a quick flip over. Use a sharp knife to cut the center.

 I’ll most likely have to do a tutorial video because explaining it sounds much harder than it actually is. 

Around five pm, Jeremy’s mom and I had a quick bite to eat. I know I said I was sick of salads, but I didn’t want anything to filling because we were going out to dinner later that night to watch the Auburn vs. Florida game. (Not that I really cared about the game) I’ve had enough football for one weekend. 

Of course we went to Terry’s Terrace. I’m not kidding when I say it’s our favorite. My parents are hooked and now Jeremy’s parents are too. First, we started out with a Team Platter. It came with potato skins, beer battered shrimp, spinach artichoke dip, and chicken fingers. We also had a side of mussels. I had tried them before, but couldn’t convince myself like them. The texture and appearance freaks me out. They didn’t taste bad last night, but they still gross me out. I just can’t. 

My meal also came with a side salad. 

I ordered the salmon with redskin potatoes. As usual, it was perfect!

And now that the weather is unbearable, I have been doing inside workouts with the Xbox. My favorite is Just Dance and the Jillian Michael’s. What types of workouts do you like to do in the winter?