any good news is good at this point

I HAVE A STORY TUMBLR

(this is long and I don’t want to put it under a cut xoxo) 

So around Thanksgiving time, I was at work and we get a call from the teen room and Mary asks me if I knew anything about Divergent.

“Yeah, I read the whole trilogy,” I say and think hated it but def read it. 

Ok,” she says, “I’m going to send someone over to talk to you.”

Shit, I think, and begin prepping for a Conversation With Someone Who Likes Divergent. 

(side note: i am very good at talking about books i do not like with people who loved them and they never get any inkling I did not like them. I’m very good at it.) 

So, this older gentleman comes into the children’s room. Cheerful looking guy, probably in his fifties or sixties. He explains that he really loved the movies and after the news about them ditching the last movie he was wondering if it was possible to read Allegiant but just start at the point where the last movie stopped. 

I admitted I hadn’t seen any of the movies but I could tell him about how the book ended and we could see if the movie would have taken the same direction? 

So we chat about Divergent for a while.

(Now, note, I am wearing a Kylo Ren shirt because my wardrobe is still mainly t-shirts and my god it is hard to dress in Business Casual when the library technically does not enforce a dress code)

He asks if I’m a Star Wars fan. I, being a twenty-three year old girl, obsessed with Star Wars who also has many Strong Opinions about Star Wars, immediately tense up. I don’t like talking about Star Wars with guys because, in general, they’re condescending in some way or just have Terrible Opinions. I’m also immediately put on edge because this is an older guy so… i’m pretty much expecting condescension. 

I say yes. He LIGHTS UP. L I G H T S U P. Asks me if I read the books, which books have I read, am I excited for Rogue One, did I like TFA, AND ON AND ON.

We talk about Star Wars for about thirty minutes before he leaves. Twenty-minutes later he COMES BACK. He forgot to tell me something and also have I read Catalyst because he’s reading it now and oh! my! god! and also I have got to read Life Debt because it is amazing and the pieces are falling into place and the picture is getting bigger. 

He’s so excited. He’s talking about the EU (he’s read like! all of it!) and just INCANDESCENT. I’m so excited because oh my god I never get to talk Star Wars with someone who just wants to GUSH ABOUT HOW GREAT STAR WARS IS. 

So he leaves. A few weeks pass and I have off-desk time and one of my coworkers swings in and is like ‘there’s someone to see you?’

what. i think. why. 

IT’S MY STAR WARS FRIEND. (I’m Terrible With Names and I’m like 80% his name is Harold but oh my god guys I don’t know) 

He asks if I’ve gotten to Catalyst. I say ‘oh my god no but i bought it literally THE SECOND YOU LEFT’ 

We talk about Star Wars. He GIVES ME a copy of Life Debt (!!!) and says that the library has been so good to him and honestly i have to read this and i’m very (!!!!) 

A week or so later one of my coworkers says that someone stopped by and asked for me but I was off somewhere and he told them not to disturb me and I was like ‘oh! my star wars friend. we talk about star wars.’ He stops by later that day to ask when I was seeing Rogue One. (”Friday morning!” “I’m seeing it Sunday!”) We talk Rey theories. He’s got a bunch of theories that tie her to Luke and I was very “ehhhh idk i think it would be cool if she wasn’t related” and he was like “oh man ABSOLUTELY” which :) He asks if I’ve read other sci-fi books and I tell him that I mostly read high fantasy but I’ve been trying to get more sci-fi because i want to write one. He comments that he stopped in to put the last book of the Old Man’s War on hold and I tell him that i JUST put the first one on hold, to which he shakes my hand and says “Oh man we really are friends.” 

So I see Rogue One and one of the first things I think is “Oh my god I can’t wait until he drops by again and we talk about this” 

So he stopped by today and just, this man loves Star Wars so much guys and it’s just so amazing to talk to him about it because he knows SO MUCH about it. 

“I’ve been a fan since the 70s when all there was was only, you know, zines and magazines,” he said today. 
“Gosh, I’ve been a fan since i was 3. Star Wars has just always been there,” I reply.
“That’s so great!!” he says. 

He tells me a Snoke theory he has (it’s good). We talk about how AMAZING Rogue One was. I tell him there’s going to be a Jyn Erso YA book coming out and he got SO EXCITED because he didn’t know. HE’S SO EXCITED. We talk about other things, he guesses my age straight on and then talks about how proud he is that I already have my Master’s and how great it is that I got a job there. 

“This library has been really good to me this year,” he says. “It’s a great place and I met you!” 

We chat about other sci fi books and he’s like “Make me a list. Make me a list I need to know what you’ve read.” 

I talk about how much I love Kylo Ren, immediately feeling nervous because the goddamn internet has conditioned me to now feel anxious admitting how much I love Kylo Ren but he is TOTALLY WITH ME and agrees that the TFA cast are some of the best written characters in anything and oh my god the ending of TFA with the chasm!!! 

So anyway I’ve made a new best friend and he’s an older guy who Loves Star Wars. 

BNHA: Riddles in the Heart, 3/3

Pairing: Tododeku

Summary:  The law is clear: whoever correctly answers three riddles will marry the prince, while all who fail are to be executed. The people live in fear as more challengers try and fail, and the throne grows bloodier with every passing year. But a young prince, nameless and in exile from his home, believes there may be more to this brutal challenge than meets the eye.

Of course, there’s only one way to find out: ring the gong, and take the trial.

(Royalty/Fantasy AU)

AO3

Act III: None Shall Sleep


The tunnel led out of an old shed at the edge of the square. Deku nudged the door carefully ajar, checked for guards, and finally slipped back out into the open. Tossing the torch into the fountain, he scanned the square until at last he spotted the familiar figures of his companions, clustered together and watching the palace gates.

He tried not to run too quickly, not wanting to look suspicious or draw attention to himself, and finally managed to sidle close enough to sprint the rest of the way under the cover of darkness.

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#184 - For anonymous x3

Filling the prompts “A fix based on I need my girl my the national? like where vans on tour and everyone’s telling him he’s amazin but he feels like he needs Y/N” and “Could you do one in which the reader’s Vans girlfriend and surprises him visiting him on tour? And maybe hang out exploring the city they’re in.” and “Could i request a fic where you go along w catfish on tour and when they have a day off, you and van explore the city at night. Extra points for some sneaking around?”

Note: Thank you to the following people for sending in their hangs in the city daydreams: @mavis-is-not-simpartico @dream-out-loud-d @concresce @isle-of-flightless-josh @hawleyqueen @you-andthebottlemen and my bff Kasey (who used to not like fanfic but now… well… here she is) and a couple of Anons.


You could hardly hear Van over the noise of the party in the background. Even with that though, you could tell he was upset. Maybe not upset, just… off. He’d been calling more and more, bringing up old memories. The time you’d almost killed all Bernie’s good rose bushes when you accidentally drove through the front garden. You were sure nobody saw you whisper to the plants after, telling them you were sorry, but Van did. The time he broke the news to Mary he’d been kicked out of school, laughing about it when he shouldn’t have. You stood in the corner of the kitchen, bearing witness to the beautiful support that is Van McCann’s parents. From wherever he was in the party, Van was asking if you remembered your first date.

“Baby… What’s wrong? Are you okay?” you asked, interrupting his nostalgia. A bottle smashed at the party, then there was hysterical laughter. Van muttered something about the place being filled with cannonballers. The stereo was turned up and the sound of Rancid drowned out Van’s voice. “Van? Baby? I can’t hear you? Babe. Call me later, from the hotel or something, okay? I love you.” You hung up and sat staring at your phone for a good ten minutes before moving.

When your phone vibrated again it was almost three in the morning. Fucking timezone differences. They’d be the death of you. On loudspeaker, you listened to Van’s nervous breathing.

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anonymous asked:

As someone who is/has been learning German for a while now, I was wondering: In regards to your post on Du vs. Sie and who should/should not call you by that. How exactly do you actually go about saying 'nah that's okay, du is fine' like what's the wording here? Cause it still hasn't been covered in my duolingo lessons and I can't seem to find a good answer. Is there specific lingo? Do you just come to a mutual agreement at some point? Any help clearing this up would be so very appreciated.

The good (or bad….depends) news is: Germans don’t know either. It’s awkward. When to ask, how to ask, can I, should I, is it appropriate at all? No clue. :D With your boss or professor or any other person of respect just don’t ask them. Let them ask you. When someone’s your age or you’re just friendly with them you could just use one of the following: “Wollen wir uns nicht duzen?” or “Wollen wir nicht “Du” sagen?”. Or what you said. If someone accidentally uses “du” to address you and you don’t actually mind you can say “du ist okay”. What then follows is both people telling each other their first name (and a handshake or something). 

Welcome to the Lockdown.

This group is an open verse , but do take your time to read… What this verse is truly about.


Alola is a beautiful island for many relaxition needs, the season is right and nothing could go wrong. palm trees are in full bloom and the weather isn’t so bad. Everyone is having a good time, they really are.

But… Those days of peaceful moments will soon end. 

For some reason, a Lockdown has suddenly appeared right when the good times are starting. The Lockdown is located by a starting point to another point: Melemele all the way to Poni is where the Lockdown will be contained at. Any outside force cannot get in and they cannot get out

The first day is simple enough. Nothing is going wrong, people are contained in a horrible (?) situation. People were told information, people were contained with news about what’s going on. Something is wrong with the Alola ferries! People seem to be in awe that something like this could happen in a place like Alola. But what’s even more shocking is that the Tapu are the ones that set the Lockdown.

… Or really was it the Tapu?

It’s until a man donned with a black cape emerges from the skies, as if he’s the Messiah, and he speaks for all to hear…

“Welcome to the Lockdown, unfortunate I know. You all have to survive for what’s about to happen. Don’t ask why it’s happening. You have the freedom to choose to believe me or not. You have the freedom to do what you want… Just be warned: You cannot leave or you’ll be shot to death.”

Then he vanishes in thin air, leaving you in awe. You don’t understand what he means and you think he’s crazy. Things will just go fine, you’re sure. Stuck in a place with strangers you don’t know about…  Or maybe you spot someone that you do know. Who knows? But you do know that something is giving you a horrible gut feeling.  Not to mention, you feel oddly strange as if the air around you suddenly became dense…a bit hard to breathe.

Not to mention that there are millions of UB’s running loose, along with the strange creatures called ‘demons’ and the Pokemon are unable to help you with their abilities and powers.

You’re suddenly afraid…

                           But you don’t know why.


                About the Verse

You are going to have to choose between three alignments: Neutral, Chaos, or Law.

With these alignments, you can have two types to choose from. Choose ONLY ONE TYPE. ( no hybrids ( ex. you can’t choose an evolution pokemon right off the bat) for a very good reason ):

  1. Chaos - Fire/Dark 
  2. Law - Water/Fairy 
  3. Neutral - Flying/Fighting 

Now, you don’t know what these alignments at first but in the long run it will be explained. But for now, choose one… You only get one chance to choose. 

You are going to have to survive. You can choose to kill. You can choose to save people. Please know that it does not interfere with the alignment you choose in the first place. Each alignment will be killing or saving.

Be aware of your resources that are abundant in Alola, it could save you.

Only cellphones will be kept on your muses person. If they don’t have one, they will be given one. As well, a pocket mirror designed by the aesthetic of your muse, will be there as well, it’s highly suggested you take care of them both or something bad will happen.

Something very bad.

This verse will include HIGHLY TRIGGERING THEMES. Possibly including: Murder, Suicide, Gore, and Body horror. Other triggers and NSFW themes along these lines may be present, and we ask that any and all posts be tagged accordingly.

Each muse starts off with four skills. You are allowed to use skills from Pokemon Sun and Moon as they are the updated move sets of a Pokemon you will be choosing for your alignment.

Please tag your verse as ‘v; peaceful days died’ so people not in the group can blacklist it.

Tag crack rp’s as ‘ v; peaceful memes died’ for crack related things.

There are multiple endings, but it’ll determine your actions as a whole group on what you all get… Also, something nice might happen in the end.

Please be aware that this is part of your muses main verse…. we will explain why when it does end.


Please refer to the blog for the Application and FAQ page for any other questions you may have about the Verse! The inbox is also open if you require any further assistance! Upon acceptance of your application, you’ll be given a link to our Discord server, and your app will be posted on the main blog as well for reference.

APPLICATIONS FOR THE FIRST DAY CLOSE NEXT FRIDAY, JUNE 9th 2017

Apps will remain open until the start of the third In-game day, after that they will then be closed for the rest of the game.

Hard to Handle - Danny x Reader - Chapter 1

Series Name: Hard to Handle
Chapter Name: Click
Pairing: Dan Avidan x Reader
Word Count:
Parts:  (1) | 2 | 2.5 | 3 | 3.5 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 6.5 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 
A/N: I guess I’ve made this blog, so I’ve got to use it now. Normally I’d like to do a oneshot first, but this fic just won’t leave me alone. <3 

Read on AO3

You hummed Take On Me by A-ha theatrically as you made your way upstairs with your groceries. At some point this week you would have your monthly pasta night. (Who were you kidding. You would have pasta night followed by leftover night until it was all gone.) The song had come on the radio just as you were pulling into the parking lot meaning that it would be stuck in your head forever.

You noted that your next door neighbors’ door was wide open. You knew that two men lived there, but that was all you knew. You had lived in this apartment for well over a year, but had never bothered to introduce yourself. By now, it would be awkward to try.  In your defense, they hadn’t tried either.

You slid your key into the lock and cursed as it failed to turn.

“Come on, not again.” You whispered to yourself. You carefully turned your key back and attempted to pull it out of the lock when it snapped in your hand.

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OSF AU - All the Little Children (2/?)

Part 2: Wherein tiny thieves discuss the meaning of “turf,“ have a threatening chat, and throw down a gauntlet.


Sabo didn’t quite know how to break the news to Ace, but it was bad. He waited at the usual spot, pipe leaning against his shoulder and tapping it occasionally as he thought. There had to be a way to explain what was happening, but Sabo still wasn’t sure what they’d do next.

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The future of Star Wars is staying pretty animated.

This weekend was a bit of a good news and bad news situation for fans of the animated productions that Lucasfilm is working on. Firstly the bad news, Star Wars Rebels will end after the next season consisting of 15 episodes. Executive producer Dave Filoni relieved that this had been his plan ever since he came up with the idea in the first place. It also makes sense that they’ll need to end it at some point as with it happening between the prequels and the original films they could only go so far with the stories and keep it within established canon. The good news however was that Filoni also hinted at the idea that there will be a new animated series at some point in the near future but he remained tight lipped about any other details. Now of course Disney and Lucasfilm would want another tv series with Rebels being so well received.

Even more good news to come out of Star Wars Celebration was the news that there will be a series of animated shorts released on the Disney youtube channel under the title Forces of Destiny. It will focus of some of the female heroes from the history of Star Wars. Some of them are Leia, Padme, Rey, Jyn Urso and Ashoka amongst others.

Several of the original actresses will return to voice their characters including Felicity Jones and Daisy Ridely playing Jyn and Rey respectively.

You get the feeling they’ve been inspired by the DC comics animated shorts and also ones released by Nickelodeon based on characters they own and it’ll be a nice way to expand on well loved and established characters in the Star Wars saga.

Forces of Destiny is scheduled to debut in July.

Star Wars Rebels Source

Star Wars Forces of Destiny Source

the bad news: i won’t be able to go to the toronto pride parade this year with my girlfriend 😔

the good news: i won’t be able to go because I’ll be at Disneyland with @kissedbifire!

the other good news: i hope and plan to be with my gf for many years so thats a lot of pride parades we can go to in the future 🌈

Break My Heart - Request

This is fro my 200 Followers Writing Challenge.

Prompt: 18.  Write about a lesson you learned the hard way. // “Next time you think of being an asshole, do your research first!” 

Requested by @straitsupernaturalmalefan:  I’m looking for something where Dean and reader r together but when she goes out with old friends that r bad news they fight she ends up making out with one and doesn’t kno dean sawfeels guilty but wasn’t gonna tell him but she finds he knows n left.  I just want one were Dean isn’t the douche who screws up. I want 2 see dean leave the bunker cause he would never ask her to leave but can'tforgiv

Characters: Dean, reader, Sam, Cas.

Word count: 3,945- main +1,185 added bit = 5,130 if you read it complete.

Warnings: Angst, cheating, Dean in pain (YES, it is a warning), depression kind of thing (in the added bit).

A/N: I kind of left myself go with this, turning it into a lot-of-words story, but I wasn’t sure if I should post the whole story so I’m just going to divide it in two so only the ones who want read the main part (please just read the main part). Enjoy! ;)


Write about a lesson you learned the hard way: To love myself and give me my own place when nobody else dows. As in claim for the respect I deserve rather than letting people use me as they wish.

Originally posted by frozen-delight

Another fight, another door slammed, another insult, another sentence they would eventually regret saying, another tear, another brick added to the wall they had slowly been building with each harsh word.

They loved each other, they really did. But the life wasn’t easy, and she was too reckless and Dean was too protective of her. They need each other to have a balance, yet their own egos made it hard to find said balance, to find a safe spot, the centre of scale.

She wanted to go out, not really caring how dangerous the world was for them in that exact moment; the millions of problems looking for them, hunting them like they hunted monsters. She didn’t care, she needed to get out of the bunker; she needed to breathe – to take a break from the never ending fights. It was a vicious cycle, and she just needed to get a rest from it.

Dean did it because he loved her, he needed her. If he lost her, he would be losing everything, and he wasn’t willing to risk it. His mother, his father, his brother, his best friend… He had lost everyone at one point, except for her. He was scared that she’d be gone any day, out of a sudden, just like everyone else.

But she needed to go out, and though Dean was always willing to make her company, the people she wanted to go out with weren’t good news. If it were for Dean, he would’ve already set a bullet between each’s eyes. He never understood why she liked them so much.

“No.” Dean stated, although it sounded more like a beg.

“I wasn’t asking for your permission, Dean.” She replied angrily as she finished getting ready.

“They’re no good, (Y/N).” Dean insisted, following her out of the room and towards the door.

“They are my friends, Dean.” She breathed out, “Whether you like it or not, I’m going out with them.”

“Friends don’t put your life and your integrity in danger.” Dean hissed.

“Such a dad.” She groaned, “You also put my life in danger with every new enemy you make, and you don’t see me complain.”

“At least I try to protect you.”

“They take care of me as well.” She fumed.

“No they don’t!” Dean stepped in front of her, “From all the people in the world, they are the very w…”

“Don’t you dare to finish that sentence, Winchester.” She threatened, pointing a finger his way. “I’m off for tonight, don’t wait me up.” And with that being said, she pushed Dean away and walked out of the bunker without even looking back at him. He couldn’t argue anymore, he couldn’t control her, and he sure as Hell wasn’t willing to waste time trying to convince her to stay because he knew she wouldn’t listen to him – she never did.

Sam was used to them fighting all the time. He knew his brother’s temper very well, and he knew how explosive (Y/N) could be, so he had learned to ignore them. But even so, the fights had turned to be more often, almost every day, and it was screwing Dean in a way that nothing else had. Sam was worried about his brother.

He liked (Y/N). She was smart and strong, and the only person who could get Dean to think twice before doing something stupid. But she was impulsive, careless at times – and not in the good sense -, and sometimes she said things that hurt Dean more than anything. But even so, Sam was willing to help his brother apologise yet once again with her, bring her back and maybe, just maybe, convince her to stop seeing those “Friends.”

And that’s how Dean ended up driving the Impala towards the place she told him she would be at. It was some kind of bar, not a very fancy one, and it wasn’t that far from the bunker.

There were some people outside – not very good looking people -, and the music was too loud. Dean got in, the blue and pink lights blinding him for a second before his eyes adjusted to the ambience. It smelled like cigarettes, cheap alcohol and something similar to marijuana. The waiters were dressed in drag, and their skirts were far too short to hide anything down there. It wasn’t the place he would expect to see his girlfriend in.

He looked through all the tables, every single one until he saw her. She was sitting at one of the corner cabinets along with those friends she liked so much. They fitted perfectly in that bar, which made (Y/N) stand out even more. Some of them were talking, and then another one was focused on her.

A hand over her leg, caressing it slightly, almost innocently while their eyes were connected straight with one and other. Dean wasn’t much of a lip-reading expert, but he managed to understand how she was talking about him with her friend.

“I just don’t want to fight anymore.” She said, and the other guy replied with something Dean couldn’t make up. Although, it wasn’t like he thought of it for much longer, because as soon as he said it his lips were already in (Y/N)’s.

Dean wanted her to move, to push him away and slap his face. He wanted to see her defending him – her boyfriend. Dean could picture her making a scene, before storming away; he could imagine meeting her at the front door, driving her back to the bunker where she’d apologise, promising to stay away from them because she finally understood what he meant.

But she didn’t.

No, she didn’t. Instead, she deepened the kiss, melting into his arms as her soft hand cupped his cheek. He pulled her into his lap and Dean could swear that guy wasn’t going to let her go just with a kiss… No, he was the kind of guy that doesn’t sleep in peace unless he gets to third base.

Dean couldn’t watch how the love of his life cheated. So he went back out, pushing everyone who got in the way and drove back to the bunker. His green eyes were filled with tears and his heart ached in pain. He felt like air was missing, like his whole world was falling apart around him leaving him back into the dark pit he was before meeting her. Every damn memory, ever damn feeling, every damn thing came back to him like a tsunami wave, drowning him in his own pain.

She had betrayed him. She had broken her promises. She had destroyed everything they had built over the years, and she had used the ruins to finish building the wall between her and Dean. It had been the cherry on top. Dean knew that nothing she said or do could fix it, not anymore; she had destroyed the last bit of their relationship.

And yet, he still loved her. He wanted to go back to the bar, find her arms and cry in them. He wanted to hear her soothing voice, telling him how it was fine, that things would get better. He wanted her kisses all over his face, and her fingers stroking his short strands of hair. He wanted her to make love with him, all night, creating once again a bond, making new promises. But that wasn’t going to happen.

Sam didn’t have to ask – it was written all over Dean’s face; from the lines his tears had drawn to the sadness in his eyes. Sam knew it.

“I’ll help you get her stuff out.” The younger brother said, but Dean shook his head.

“Better help me get my stuff out.” Dean mumbled.

“What?” Sam’s eyes widened and they soon got watery as well, “Dean, you can’t leave.”

“I can’t stay either.” Dean stated, “And I won’t kick her out… I can’t, Sam.”

“But she…”

“I know what she did… But I won’t kick her out… I still love her.” Sam sighed. He wanted to slap some logic inside his brother’s brain yet he knew it wasn’t a brain thing but rather an emotional one. Dean was far too caring, too respectful of the people he loved to kick her out. That’s what John and Mary had taught him when John left after the constant fights they had had, before Sam was born, and it was something that Dean had carved in his brain.

Sam helped him pack, and if it weren’t because Dean didn’t want his brother to leave the only home he had ever met, he would’ve joined. How could he live with the woman who tore his brother’s heart apart? But it was what Dean wanted, and even if he wasn’t in a position to make clear decisions, Sam decided to accept it.

Dean left twenty minutes before she came back.

(Y/N) had no idea Dean had seen. She was drunk, and hurt and so vulnerable. She wasn’t thinking what she was doing and it wasn’t until she was at the bar’s bathroom with the guy trying to get inside her pants that she realized about the awful mistake she had made.

She was feeling guilty. She had promised herself all the way back that she would change, she would be the best girlfriend Dean Winchester could ever dream of and she wasn’t going to hang out again with those so called friends because, after all, Dean was right. They were hideous people, dangerous and ruthless, the kind that your parents warn you about as a child. And she had trusted them.

She parked in front of the bunker, not really noticing that Baby wasn’t there because she might as well be at the garage. She took her time to dry her tears and eat a whole package of mints to avoid the smell of alcohol and cheap joints – aka that guy’s smell. She wasn’t going to tell Dean, which would only ruin the whole thing; that’s why she had to look like nothing had happened.

She cried, not enough to make her eyes got puffy but just the right amount of tears to let her talk without spilling the soup. Then she dried her tears, fixed her hair and checked her breath. She was almost as fine as she was when she left the bunker four hours ago. Taking a deep breath, (Y/N) finally got out of the car and walked back in.

The bunker was silent, even more silent than usual. (Y/N) walked straight to Dean’s room and knocked the door. There was no answer, so she knocked again, and again, and again until she finally decided to try and open it. It wasn’t locked, and it was empty.

His guns, his pictures, his books… It was all gone. In the closet there were only the few flannels he’d let (Y/N) wear on lazy Sundays, and that was it. The room was completely empty.

For a second (Y/N) thought she was still drunk, or that she had been captured by a djiin and was now having so trippy dream where Dean was gone. Or even so, she was so drunk she got into the wrong room. She pinched her arm and checked the number outside the door… It was his room, and it was really empty.

She walked out quickly, only to find Sam leaning at the hallway’s wall, right in front of Dean’s room. He was angry, sad and so serious. It was like looking at him after coming back from Hell – or even worse.

“Sam, where’s Dean?” She asked worriedly. Sam let out a chuckle.

“He left.” He said bitterly.

“What? Why?”

“Don’t play fool, (Y/N).” Sam begged. (Y/N) could see tears threatening to spill his eyes.

“I didn’t mean to…” She whispered, feeling a lot guiltier now that she knew that Dean had left because of that.

“Is that why you arrived two hours after he saw you?” Sam hissed, “Yes, I’m sure you didn’t mean to.”

“I was drunk.”

“I got drunk many times during my time at Stanford, and I didn’t ever cheat on Jessica. Not once, (Y/N)!” Sam let out a tear, “Now my brother’s gone because of you.”

“Why did he left? He could’ve just left my stuff out and…”

“You don’t know him, do you?” Sam breathed out a laugh, “You’ve been his girlfriend for a while and still don’t know that Dean’s too much of a sucker for you… He wasn’t willing to let you homeless again, so he left instead.”

“Sam, I…”

“Just pack your stuff and leave so Dean can come back.” Sam begged in a voice so low (Y/N) struggled to hear. He was also a true gentleman like Dean, but his brother meant a lot more than some cheating girl, so he was more than willing to kick her out if it meant to have his brother back.

“I will.” She said, “I will leave, and I will disappear for as long as he needs… I will do anything you ask me to but please, I need to apologise… I can’t just let him think that I…”

“That you don’t love him anymore?” Sam inquired, “We’ve all been thinking that for the longest time, so save it.”

“Sam, I do love him.”

“If you did you wouldn’t have cheated on him.” (Y/N) sighed heavily. It would be hard to convince Sam to believe her, and she was already two hours late so instead she went back to Dean’s room and packed her stuff – at least the ones she had there – and then to her own room to finish. It took her a whole hour but, once she was done, Sam could do nothing else but to guide her to the door and shut it in front of her face.

A whole week went by. She had been staying at a motel nearest to the bunker, working as a waitress in the diner in front of it and waiting patiently for news from Sam.

He still wasn’t very happy with her, but at least he kept her updated. It took him three days to go look for her, listen to her story and finally agreed to help her get Dean back. The older brother didn’t want to get back to the bunker just yet because it was far too painful, so Sam figured the only way to recover his brother was by fixing his heart, which could only be done if (Y/N) had the chance to apologise and maybe even fix things.

Castiel was also involved. At first he was dubitative, angry and he had tried to disintegrate (Y/N). But after questioning Sam – “Why must we help her?” “Can I disintegrate her already?” “Why are humans so complicated?” “Why do you want her back with Dean? She broke the trust bond human couples have!” etc. – he finally agreed as well. In fact, he was the one to locate Dean, who had been driving further from the bunker and Kansas in general and was already in Texas.

Angel and hunter worked together in order to create a plan in which they would make (Y/N) and Dean meet face to face in a place none of them could run away from. Of course a hunt was extra dangerous so they figured they would ask Dean to meet them at the diner she worked in, five minutes before her break.

Neither Dean nor (Y/N) knew about the plan, so when The Winchesters and Castiel sat at one of the tables she attended, they couldn’t help but to stare at each other in a mixture of horror and sadness.

“What are you waiting for?” Another waiter exclaimed as he noticed how (Y/N) froze in sight of Dean. “Take the freaking order.”

(Y/N) nodded and cleared her throat, setting her eyes on the little notebook she had in hand. “Welcome to Mama’s Diner, what can I serve you?”

“I want a salad,” Sam began, “a burger for my brother and a soda for…”

“I don’t want anything, thank you.” Dean muttered and got up from his seat, leaving the diner. (Y/N) sighed heavily as Sam got up to chase after his brother.

“I want a soda, please.” Castiel asked, acting as obnoxious as always. (Y/N) nodded and served Cas his soda. Immediately after, she checked out for her break and went to find Sam and Dean at an alley near the diner. Sam wasn’t letting Dean run away.

“Just talk to her, man.” Sam begged once more, not noticing that (Y/N) was behind him.

“Sam, I…” Dean caught glimpse of her and shut up instantly. Sam looked back, only to meet the sad-eyed girl.

“I’ll go back, make sure Cas doesn’t drown on his soda.” Sam informed calmly and left the alley.

“Dean…” She muttered. Dean breathed in deeply, looking down to the floor for he wasn’t strong enough to look her in the eyes.

“(Y/N).”

“I… I’m sorry.” She said. Dean let out a chuckle.

Out of all the things she could say, out of all the ways she could apologise, she chose the most clichéd/ridiculous one. Not only that, but she had her victim eyes one.

“What are you exactly sorry for?” Dean asked bitterly. He had gotten his time alone to think, and even when his heart skipped a beat at the mere sight of her, he knew she was no good and that he had to stay away from her.

“For everything.” She replied. Dean looked up, lifting an eyebrow as a gesture for her to keep talking. “For not listening to you when you told me they were bad news, and for kissing one of them… For being guilty of you leaving the bunker, and for being a bad girlfriend in general…”

“You weren’t a bad girlfriend in general.” Dean interrupted, making the corner of her lips curve slightly.

“I was drunk, and I was so angry with you for treating me like a child…”

“No excuse for cheating, though…” Dean interrupted yet again.

“It wasn’t cheating… he kissed me, and I was…”

“Drunk. I know, yet you came back two hours later according to Sam.” Dean fumed, “Unless my brother is lying.”

“Dean.” She begged.

“Just tell me what you did in those two hours.”

“He kissed me, took me to the bathroom of the bar and then I struggled to get out, but I did.” She began explaining. Dean wasn’t buying a thing, mostly because he had seen her escape from a vampire’s grip more than once. “Then I went back to the table, grabbed my stuff and left but I was too drunk so I stopped by at the gas station to buy something to eat and take time to sober up. Then I drove to the bunker, waited a bit to get in and…”

“When were you going to tell me?” He asked, “You were at that gas station, unable to drive and didn’t think of telling me?”

“I didn’t want to bother…”

“Bother?” Dean exclaimed, “If you had called me, told me what you had done I would’ve stayed, (Y/N)!”

   “If you had told me about your little adventure, and maybe even apologised, I wouldn’t have left in the first place. I would’ve forgiven you if I saw that you were truly regretful, that it was a mistake but instead you hid it from me like you had done it on purpose!”

“You think I did it on purpose?!” She shouted back.

“I don’t know, did you?” He hissed, “Because as far as I remember you’re the one that followed along, the one to sit on his lap even though you knew you had a boyfriend waiting at home for you to come back!”

“If you had been waiting you wouldn’t have seen that.” And she regretted that immediately, because out of all the ways one could interpret that sentence, she was confident Dean would pick the most scandalous one.

“I was there to apologise.” Dean mumbled, lowering his voice tone, “I was willing to give those friends of yours a chance… I wanted you to trust me again, to stop fighting.”

“I wanted to stop fighting too, Dean… But I was so hurt, you would’ve done the same.” Dean huffed loudly.

“I would’ve never ever even considered looking at some other girl. EVER!” He cried, “You were my one and only, (Y/N). No matter how though things got, I wouldn’t have ever betrayed you like so.”

“Betrayed?” She fumed, “I didn’t… I… What was I supposed to do?”

“Push him away!” Dean roared, “Beat his ass like you do with monsters! Give me my place as your partner! I don’t know! But you definitely don’t follow the kiss!”

“I did it! All of that! At the bathroom, I made sure to break at least three of his bones!” She barked, “Next time you think of being an asshole do your research first!” And that was the last drop.

“No! No! No!” Dean bursted, “I’m not the asshole, I’m never the asshole! You do as you wish with me; Sometimes you make me feel like the most amazing man in the world and some others I’m only good because I’m with you! But not anymore. I’m tired of being your puppet, of doing everything you want me to do and apologising for things I shouldn’t apologise for!” Dean was red in anger, tears streaming down his face, “You manipulate me and make me think it’s all my fault, but this,” he gestured the two of them, “it’s a two-people work, not one and definitely not mine.”

“I did everything for you, Dean!” She cried.

“And so did I!” He continued, “I gave my whole self for you, (Y/N). My life, my health, my everything… I gave it all to you and you used it and threw it away like it was a pile of trash! We had something special, (Y/N). In our own twisted way, we had something beautiful and you destroyed it, and now you want me to think it’s all my fault. For what, huh? For fighting because I knew they weren’t good? For taking care of you? For wanting you to stay safe? If that’s the case then I’m guilty, but we both know that’s not what shattered our relationship.”

“You treat me like I’m the villain, Dean.” She mumbled.

“Maybe you are.” And with that, Dean walked away.

Dean came back to the bunker after a few days, forgiving his brother for trying to help him fix his relationship once more. But that wasn’t what Dean wanted anymore. Yes, he would keep her in his heart forever, embracing the tiny bit of love he had left for her, but for once he was willing to give himself his own place, to actually defend his position as a human being that deserves more than a manipulative relationship where he was always the bad guy. Dean took good care of whatever was left of their love, and build himself a barrier with it. He didn’t need her anymore, and even if he still dreamed of waking up next to her, he stayed away.

(Y/N) lost contact with the brothers. She moved to another place, began a new life and tried with all his might to forget about him, even though his green eyes and whiskey scent would haunt her dreams. She missed him; she ached his absence and most of all she punished herself every day for screwing up not once but twice. She would make up different version of the last conversation they had, realizing that a few different words would’ve made a huge difference.


                                           Main story ends here. 


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A little one-shot that takes place after 4x04

pairing: Robbie/Daisy, quakerider (can be seen as platonic or romantic, whatever works~~~)

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pietro-goes-nyoom  asked:

Hi! I love your work and it is SUCH an inspiration! I was just wondering if you might have any suggestions or resources to learn embroidery? I have some experience with cross stitch and the embroidery basics, but I was looking into some patterns similar to your black and white comic book pieces and it's a bit more than I've ever tried. I know part of the answer is LOTS of practice, but do you know of any decent tutorials or starting points or did you just learn by trial and error? Thank you!

Hello! Wow, thank you so much! I am excited that you’re interested in embroidery too… so I have good news and mediocre news for you: the mediocre - yeah, most of what I’ve learned has been through trial and error and practice; the good - I’m happy to share what I’ve learned!

I do not have any patterns to offer like cross stitching does. I use the original images and transfer directly onto the aida cloth (fabric). For comic panels, I start off by using my computer to trace the basic shape of the image with a pencil, then freehand the remainder of the details. Sunsets and pets are a little different. I don’t trace sunsets, I just sketch the general shapes and cloud/landscape markers and then fill in. For pets, I trace a little in order to get the face shape, but then I freehand details and fill in with color.

My embroidery doesn’t use a lot of regular stitching methods. I mean, it does, but I’m not using much more than the satin stitch and the back stitch. I know how to do a petal loop (and I use it for my little initials) as well as the other stitches, but I’m not using them much. This website is a good reference for the basics. 

I also use different amounts of thread to get different line thicknesses because embroidery floss is actually six threads together:

I rarely use the full 6-thread strand anymore. I usually use 4-thread for filling in large spaces, 3-thread for outer-outline and filling in smaller spaces, 2-thread for most outlining and letters, and 1-thread for all the little tiny stuff that requires terrifying precision and detail. 

I used to try and fill in everything with color, attempting to recreate the full-color comic panel, and in doing so, I lost a lot of the detail I wanted to capture. That Bucky was actually the first time I was like, ‘huh, if i just embroider the inking, I won’t lose any of the detail.’ If I want just some solid color, I use watercolor paint to stain the cloth, like for this Lying Cat, She-Hulk, and Motivational Orb. That is a useful technique (but be careful, the water bleeds through the cloth and you can stain outside of the lines if you’re not patient).

I hope this helps you get started. I’d recommend just picking a comics panel, making sure that a part of your soul is willing to start over, and trying it out. (There was one time I couldn’t get Steve Rogers’s face right and it DROVE ME BONKERS so i literally scrapped it and started the whole thing over.)

So you're going to an audition:

Whether it be for a solo, section, or leadership position in your high school guard or a spot in a drum corps or independent winter guard, auditioning can be scary. Terrifying, actually.

We are performers who spend all our lives expecting perfection from ourselves. When we audition for something, we’re essentially standing in front of people who know our activity better than we do and saying “This is it. I can be taught to reach almost perfect. Here, let me demonstrate." 

It feels overwhelming. How are you supposed to be ready for something you’ve never done before?

How do we live through auditions? 

Here are some tips, tricks, and general advice I dispense on the regular to people who come to me before every season starts. Some of it might apply to your situation, some of it might not. Use your critical thinking skills and good luck :) 

——- 

Educate yourself on what you’re auditioning for. 
One of the biggest mistakes an auditionee can make is letting their assumptions and expectations blind them to what reality looks like. If you’re trying out for captain of your high school guard, do you know what your responsibilities would be? If you want to be in a corps, do you know how much dues are? Does that winter guard go to Dayton? If you find yourself unsure of the basic operation, of course you’re not comfortable! Take some time to reach out to a member, captain, director, whoever seems appropriate for your question. If they can’t answer you, they’ll usually be very careful to lead you in the right direction. 

Understand the rules/culture of the spot.
Is there a dress code? Do you have to bring your own rifle and does it have to be a certain length? Gloves, no gloves, shoes, no shoes? Do you have to pay an audition fee? 
Again, these are all questions that anyone who occupies a spot where you want to wind up can help you with. If you’re talking with a member who fails to answer one of these questions, ask! Remember, people who have worn black to every rehearsal for four years might fail to mention it because it’s second nature. No one will make fun of you for asking a question, even if it feels dumb. Displaying that you’re interested is important!

Try not to obsess over the audition itself.
You know what to wear, what to bring, and understand exactly what you’re auditioning for… but chances are, you have no idea what is actually going to happen at the audition. Fear of the unknown might start to kick in. 
Try to keep calm.
Most audition material in the guard world is kept from you so that instructors can see how you learn, how you take direction, what your strengths and weaknesses are, what kind of natural talent you have, your willingness to try, and your ability to maintain a good attitude while under stress. When you stop and think about it, those are the things that carry a person through their guard career, aren’t they? 
Every other auditionee in the room is in the same boat as you. No one knows what to expect. Keep an open mind, listen to instructions, and let your technical skill take you the rest of the way. 

Be present at the audition.
I mean this both literally and figuratively. If you make up your mind to audition for something, do NOT let the fear of walking in the door be the thing that ruins it for you. Show up, even if your legs are shaking. You will live. 
And while you’re at it, why not try to enjoy yourself? Be engaging, try to meet someone new, try to learn something. If you approach an audition with an open attitude, people will take note. 

Take care of yourself.
Don’t ruin your chances by pushing yourself to the point where you’re putting your health in jeopardy (that is both physical and mental health, people). Every good performer knows the difference between a good push beyond a comfort zone and a bad one. Make sure you know your limits, hydrate yourself, and keep your mental state as clear as you can. 

Make sure you know the next step.
When your audition is through, don’t just run out the door without any knowledge about what comes next. Be sure that, before you leave, you know how/when someone will contact you with news as to where you stand. There is nothing wrong with asking if no one has outright stated how that process works. 

There is nothing wrong with not liking it.
If it’s too hard, if it’s too much work, if it wasn’t what you’d wanted or hoped or expected… there’s absolutely nothing wrong with telling someone that you’re no longer interested. Usually they will ask why. This is both for their own knowledge (to see if there’s something in their program that needs work) and to make sure you aren’t giving up on yourself for no good reason. Be honest with these people. 

Not making it is not the end of the world.
Very talented people can have very bad auditions. Maybe the guard is too advanced for you, maybe there was someone better for the spot, there are a ton of reasons you didn’t get what you wanted. Do not let that weigh you down. Keep working hard. Take what you learned in your audition and grow from it. 

Stay humble.
If you get whatever it is you auditioned for, don’t let it get to your head. There is plenty more you have to learn. The spot will probably completely kick your ass at some point. The vets and instructors know that, and tend to dislike braggarts. Remember that this is the beginning of a journey, put your head down, and work hard. 

Big Annoucement P.s:Sorry for spelling mistakes

Hi everybody !!!! Its been a while I did not give any news, I know. Between the moment when I no longer had the internet, the lack of creativity + tired, I did not want to draw, and I am really sorry … But now I will try to arrange her, all Of this announcement. 3 point Important to remember !!!

-1 Good and bad news, the good: is that all commissions become free, the bad: all the commissions that were asked me are canceled and commissions are closed until a new order, so or I know It’s not cool xS !!!! But let me explain … First of all the comms are not all closed, only rare among you will see their comms accept, for that In 1) the content of the comms must have a content that will please all The world In 2) Fetishism is forbidden (not because I do not like its good on the contrary it is even better x3) In 3) Worthy comms will have more chance to be accepted, if they contained it corresponds to the “ PROJECT "of the moment. And you say to yourself, .. "but what is its its project thing ??” I come there small guinea pig, I will tell you in the 2nd Point

-2 The “PROJECT” is simple, each project and a compilation of numerous illustrations of drawing, character or object corresponding to a theme … example: the next Project that arrive, is the “PROJECT MONSTER” So , Only drawings of monster woman, dragon, slime, harpies etc …

-3 Surely the biggest announcement, and the most important, Currently … I work on the creation of a Manga !!!! Yes a Manga, all public and not a Hentai as you can imagine seeing my drawing. And the scenario is so original that even a Japanese Mangaka could not find an idea so twisted x3 But for now, I keep the script secret (I’m afraid that I steal the idea xS) Only some illustration will be Publish to give you an overview. For now I begin to struggle the 3rd Atc of Chapter 1 … I am on the writing wholesale … and it may be that the whole thing is improving on the way.

And finally, do not worry about it, I’ll do the same drawing as usual, why you follow me besides x) So Poképhilia, Bestiality, Lolis, Chips and MonsterGirls will be on the program, D I just have to train (^ - ’) You do not know much about me yet, but my Dream is to become Mangaka, or live drawing, but if not, I aim higher and become the best Mangaka French . His risk of being long i know x)

In any case I thank you for following me all while Temp, even if I remain inactive for a long time x) but every time I see your Like and subscribe to my daily, there is nothing more beautiful for me .. Thank you I will do my best so that my drawing and my future Manga you like.

Serendipity Chapter I

I’m trying my hand at a little Jared Leto fiction writing. The first chapter’s a lead up and we aren’t getting into the action just yet but it’s always necessary. As always, enjoy and let me know if you want to be included in tags at any point when I post more. 


Serendipity- 

noun; the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for.


I.

“So I have good news and bad news.” 

“Tell me what you really mean is good news and even better news.”

“Okay, first off no. You’re really gonna regret saying that once I tell you the bad news.”

I roll my eyes. It can’t be that bad if she’s telling me over the phone. “I got the concert tickets.” My smirk fades, my mind already assuming what the bad news is. “Please tell me that’s the bad news,” I groan.  “Wait, what? I thought you liked… Oh, yeah no. I know. I can’t make it Em, I just can’t. It’s a new client and if I don’t pull this one off I’m done for,” even over the phone she sounds tired but that won’t stop me from pouting about it. “I just won’t go then.” 

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Family

Summary:  Natsu is quickly driving her insane and Plue is his unwitting accomplice.  She’s got something she wants to share with her husband, but he’s having too much fun to pick up on her signals.  It’s like he’s got the attention span of a child …
‘Family’
Rating:  teen
Word Count:  1524
I decided to combine two requests ^^
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I would love to see a one shot where Natsu understands Plue and they have a conversation about her to her great frustration.
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Can you write one where they are married and Lucy is trying to tell Natsu that she’s pregnant?
<><><><><><><><><><><>

“I went and picked up more cocoa like you wanted Lucy.” Natsu upended the shopping bag onto the kitchen counter, cans and containers clattering like hailstones against tile. Whistling a merry tune the dragon slayer began putting them away.

The noise woke Lucy from her nap. From under the fuzzy blanket, she struggled to get upright from her spot on the couch. It was so warm and cozy but her stomach wanted chocolate. She yawned then rubbed her eyes before padding over into the kitchen. Settling her hand on Natsu’s elbow she spoke. “Leave the cocoa out, I’m going to use it.”

“Brownies?”

“Yup.”

“As much as I like them, it’s been four times this week already.” Natsu turned to see Lucy frown. Three years of marriage had taught him some lessons; he switched gears and amended his words. “And each batch is even better than the one before!”

“If you’re bored of them, you could just not eat any.” Lucy pulled down the big mixing bowl. “I wouldn’t keep making them if you didn’t eat them all.”

A sheepish grin on his face, Natsu shrugged. “Aww, I can’t help it, they’re really good.”

“Huh, is that an honest compliment?” Lucy plopped her favourite wooden spoon next to the bowl and reached around Natsu to grab the vanilla extract. “You should go find something to do elsewhere.”

“Let me help!”

“I’d rather not.” Lucy crossed her arms and gave Natsu a narrow eyed stare. “Last time we baked together you got icing in my hair and down my shirt.”

“I cleaned it off!” Natsu winked and avoided Lucy’s swift answering pinch. “Waste not want not, right? And it was delicious.” He grinned, rushing close to capture his wife in a hug. “And I remember a certain celestial mage bringing the leftover icing to bed.”

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anonymous asked:

On the topic of knocking people out, will choking someone into unconsciousness do permanent brain damage the same way a concussion K-O would?

Choking someone out is essentially starving the brain of oxygen or cutting off the blood flow. It’s medically different but with similar results. Like with a concussion, you can come out of it okay.

The problem is that this gets treated as an easy and convenient “no kill” solution in a lot of fiction. Where, it really isn’t. Also, the longer they’re out the more likely it is something has gone wrong. I mean, you knock someone out with a choke, stuff them in a closet, and they’re still out when you close that door? They’re probably dead.

It’s very difficult to get someone to stop breathing. It’s also very difficult to tell where the line is between unconscious and dead. Some chokes like the ones that cut off blood supply are very quick, it’s easy to hold it too long. When practicing these kinds of martial arts for safety reasons, you tap out the second you start to feel it and it’s your partner’s responsibility to let go when that happens.

It is dangerous.

The trouble with a lot of fictional fighting is that there’s a desire (an understandable one) to want to make it “safe”. To say that there’s an easy determining line where “this won’t kill them but that will”. That there’s a safe way to do it that will lead to a happy conclusion where the character doesn’t need to bear the brunt of hurting other people. Films like some James Bond movies, other action movies, Saturday Morning Cartoons, present this idealized state where so long as the character doesn’t kill anyone else then they get to remain a “Good Person™”. This often leads to weird, unironic moments in fiction where the main character is doing straight up terrible things to people such as crippling them for life i.e. “Disabling shots”. While the narrative pats them on the head for being cruel and unusual while the villain is just straight up ending people’s lives.

There is no line. It is all gray area.

Choking someone out, asphyxiating them is denying their brain the oxygen it needs to function to the point where they pass out or die. That is what a traditional choke does. It starves the brain of oxygen. Starving the brain of oxygen can result in permanent damage. It can turn you into a vegetable, it can damage functionality and can leave long term issues even if they live. Starving the brain of any resource it needs to function will kill you. The good news is that when it comes specifically to air, it takes a while.

The point of the choke when you’re not trying to kill, in a lot of ways, is to scare them into giving up so they’ll stop fighting. If you get them to the point where they pass out, there is a good chance that they’ll never wake up again or that you did permanent damage to their brain.

There’s a basic understanding that I feel is hard for people to grasp when it comes to writing fight sequences in fiction which is: your character is going to hurt somebody. For some of us, this obviously trips up the part of the brain which goes “but if my character hurts someone, doesn’t that make my character a bad person?” which is a natural reaction to have. The secondary question comes: “does that make me a bad person?” because we often relate to our characters.

The answer to that is no. Your character comes from you, but they’re not you. It is okay to have these thoughts. It’s okay to think about killing people, so long as it stays in your head or in a fictional space where it belongs. Writing any character who fights is, on some level, crossing over into the realm of questionable morality.

Violence creates uncomfortable questions that we have to ask, both about ourselves and the human condition in general. They don’t come with easy answers. Trust me. Some of the greatest philosophers in human history have mulled over these questions and failed to find satisfactory answers.

Not being able to answer them is okay.

And not running away from those questions will make you a better writer. Lots of characters are going to ask them and the answers will be different each time, they may even differ from the ones you found for yourself.

At the end of the day, violence is about causing pain to someone else. It’s about harming them. You can justify it to yourself. You can understand the situation. You can review it over and over again. But, at the end of the day, that’s what it is.

Accepting that is probably the first step to writing really good fight scenes.

-Michi

Come Hear the Music Play

Advent Prompt #10: You’re my patient and I’m trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you but it’s hard to do that when you’re flirting with me. Seriously dude, I’m not gonna be able to diagnose you as easily when you’re telling me how my lab coat complements my eyes. Doctor!Blaine AU. 2.4K [AO3]  Read Previous Advent fics on: AO3 | Tumblr

“Your next patient is all ready to go in treatment room five,” Kitty announces, passing a clipboard with the patient triage info to Doctor Anderson.

“Great, thanks,” Blaine murmurs as he quickly scans the symptoms checklist.

“He’s really cute, too, but I didn’t put that on the paperwork,” Kitty adds with a knowing wink.

Blaine looks up from the clipboard, shooting her a loaded glare. “Kitty, we’ve been through this. I’m not interested in being set up and even if I was, I can’t date patients. It’s against the rules,” he whispers.

“It wouldn’t kill you to get out there. It’s been what, six months since your last blind date?”

It’s actually been nine months, but Blaine doesn’t correct her. The last thing Kitty needs is more ammunition to use against him in her search to find him a husband. “Yeah, something like that,” he says instead, shrugging.

“Thought so,” she trills. “Look, I’m just saying – you’re Blaine Anderson, Vocal Specialist to the Stars. You’re basically one step away from being Doctor McDreamy on Grey’s Anatomy. You should totally take advantage of the status. Otherwise what was the point of toiling away in medical school and residencies for all those years?”

“Helping people?” Blaine shoots back, as if the answer should be obvious.

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How about we don't kill the Wasp and just fucking make a Black Widow movie already?

Like everyone else on Tumblr I spend about 30-50% of my time thinking about how awesome it would be if someone would fucking schedule a Black Widow film. Eventually, this has evolved into some serious thinking about why it would be so awesome, which has inevitably led to the sort of single-minded intensity of thought that you know perfectly well has reached entirely unhealthy levels but also can’t actually turn around, at this point. So I’ve got a concept. And I don’t usually think this about any ideas I have about fiction but I genuinely think it is a …good one? And I just read the Ant Man news so I’m going to throw Marvel Studios a bone here cus they seem short on non-disastrous concepts right now.

The important thing about a Black Widow film is that it needs to be brutal; emotionally, combatively and psychologically. There is nothing soft about Natasha Romanov, she’s capable of kindness but she isn’t good at showing it to herself. She’s the grimmest, darkest character in the MCU and she’s untethered, outside her comfort zone and currently, very, very powerful. She’s more politically powerful than the compromised Cap, better at flipping off the government than Iron Man and still more able to disappear than Bifrost-enabled Thor.

But the point she’s at in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (and indeed, 616) is one of needing to find out, in the kind of privacy you get in a safehouse and a firefight, what happens when she scrubs the many, many skins she has layered onto herself away. She’s not shedding them, she just wants to take a peek beneath and find out what the core one was. Is. And she’s not going to do that in a way that is gentle to her or anyone else. She won’t find her own identity by sitting on a beach in Thailand and eating pasta, she’ll find it with her hands tied and her boot at someone’s throat.

Natasha has been unmade, has been remade, has remodelled herself many times. She’s so adaptive she’s forgotten or never learnt how to react fully genuinely to situations, bar maybe a few flashes of affection for Clint and Steve and Fury. Obviously, maybe Age of Ultron blows all this out of the water (although I trust that film with Natasha’s backstory roughly the way I trust my dog with a packet of bacon) but at the end of Cap 2, we know that Natasha’s tired of that. She’s chosen to dig out the truth and that means out of herself, too.

And what would really suck is if that had anything to do with dudes. Sorry, Hawkeye.

Well, I say ‘anything to do with dudes.’ There are plenty of men that Natasha cares about and we needn’t throw them into the sea for the sake of having a film that cares about Natasha. But to have an effective Black Widow movie about finding Natasha Romanov, you have to look at the mechanisms of the Widow. She’s a master emotional manipulator, she uses the ability to make people like her to destroy them, she’s a spectacular, extraordinary combatant and from her bone-crushing thighs to the stings on her wrists, her body and her mind are weapons. Nominally, the Widow is a suit that Natasha Romanov puts on but realistically, it’s been a long while since that zipper has worked.

So a Natasha film needs to pit her against people with similar tools- needs to show manipulation, needs to show brutality. She needs an equal to the weaponry of the Widow so that it is clear that it is the other thing, the thing that is Natasha, that allows her to fight and win. (PS: obviously she wins it’s a fucking superhero movie)

Now, there’s a copyright problem with the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Or a film rights problem or whatever. The bad guys you can pick are a bit limited. But, fortunately, Hydra are definitely in. Which is a delight because it means that Madame Hydra is definitely in.

 

“Who is Madame Hydra?” you ask. Cus we’ve only seen Dude Hydra so far, if you wanna get depressed about shit. Well, in the comics she’s got a fvck of a long history- she was kidnapped by Hydra as a child, trained in strategy and combat and turned into a weapon, much like Natasha. Except that Madame Hydra doesn’t have any intention of going straight and would piss on your corpse if you suggested such a damn fool idea. She’s a little off-piste, in that she’s less the creepy Nazi science wing and more the ‘outright terrorism, gang warfare and glamour’ and she scares the shit out of even most of the rest of Hydra. She’s inconsistent, chaotic and extremely intelligent, amoral to the core and capable of using both her seductive glamour and her master manipulation skills to get what she wants. Which is control of the criminal underworld, carnage, a lot of money and the best green tailoring- these aren’t the political Hydra of Captain America, manuevering in the shadows of their own cultish thoughts- they’re straight up megalomania.

Madame Hydra is a killer for the sake of killing. She can be brutal, so she is. She can manipulate, so she does. Both for her own gain and for the sheer unadulterated hell of it. She’s powerful because she uses power gratuitously and with no regard for what anyone will think of her. Her break away from her brainwashing means she no longer seeks anyone’s approval, although she does demand loyalty. And might kill you for it. She would pull the wings off bugs that were shaped like little girls. And the dicks off man-roaches.

She’s a Bond villain, basically. A very good one. And this is, after all, a spy film. A glamourous, sexy, violent, thrilling spy film.

If we’re making a Bond film (err, sort of) though, who’s the Bond Girl? Well, ok, not a Bond Girl. But a bond girl- a character for Natasha to work with. Which is when I need to really urgently talk to you about Jessica Drew.

Jessica Drew is Spider-Woman. Which we can’t actually call her in the MCU because of film rights bullshit so it’s just as well she’s also known as Agent Drew.  Jessica Drew is the most important character in the world and I will fucking fight you if you say otherwise.

Jess is an experiment. She was genetically spliced in the womb, by a varying cast of baddies depending on the version of her origins you’re reading but let’s say Hydra for the purposes of the MCU. She was born broken, there’s no before- no one took a girl and made them what she is, she was a foetal thing when it started. Originally an agent of Hydra, in which she was brought up with the sort of loving care you’d expect from said organisation, she’s a deadly hand-to-hand combatant and can glide-fly with wings in her costume.

Her powerset is not dissimilar to Black Widow’s, in a lot of ways- Jess can drop persuasive pheremones to manipulate people and has built-in venom blasts of electricity in her wrists. She’s very beautiful and wholly weaponised. And miserably manipulated- Jess has things happen to her that make the things that happen to, say, The Winter Soldier look like a beauty treatment. Her unhappy origins aside, she’s been fucked over on a literally galactic level more times than any other Marvel character in recent decades. And she gets back up and does good things (possibly for bad reasons) and throws her battered, bloodied mind and body back into battle because losing herself in superheroing is better than trying to work out what she’d be if she wasn’t Spider-Woman Agent Drew.

 Jess is broken in ways that are not fixable. She doesn’t get a denouement where her brain is magically better and she’s over the trauma of her life just because she, say, has a really hot make out with Hawkeye against a tree that one time but crucially, she does also do hot make outs. Maybe not with the best choices but Jess is, for all she’s depressed and a mess and has never had a surety of self, a fully formed human who does fully formed human things, like try and make out with hot people, develop opinions about coffee and pick bad ringtones. She has feelings and friendships, in the comics- it doesn’t mean she isn’t depressed or damaged anymore- depressed, damaged people have friends. And jobs. And they try to keep hold of those things, with greater or lesser success.

 Basically: Jess has a life. A life which is Jess. It might not be the greatest life and she might not be in any way happy about it all but she has very little choice to be anything other than herself, weaponised or not.

 (The MCU Jess I am imagining is definitely, definitely queer and we can get the Carol/Jess we deserve come on Marvel let’s do this, the thirst is so incredibly real)

 Oh and Madame Hydra (delusionally) thinks Jess is her daughter. Or possibly just likes creeping Jess out by pretending that she thinks that so she can act like a fucking freak and be emotionally awful to her by eg: turning up occasionally to rescue Jess, tell her Hydra still love her and force Jess into a situation where she, filled with revulsion, claws back her own power and control by killing a swathe of Hydra Agents to escape.

 Let’s assume Jess has, at the start of the film, come in from the cold. She was working for Fury, for the same reasons that Natasha worked for Fury- their skillsets were useful, he deployed them according to their comfort levels, they don’t know what to do with themselves otherwise. Jess was presumably loosely aware of Natasha and Natasha probably knew Jess existed but I don’t see them as having had a professional relationship at any point or indeed, having met.

 (I have SO MANY IDEAS for how an MCU Jess would look; a yellow underlayer, made of some tough-ish, structured material and then leather and body armour layered as trousers and to make the distinctive diamonds on her torso,  wings made of dull-silvery material- like very finely woven metal, mask made of leather and kevlar,  lots of slim buckles across the diagonal lines of the front of her suit and down from the hips to make it look very slightly like the Winter Soldiers, as they share a tailor organisation. Look, I was very honest about the extent to which I have become unhealthily obsessed with this at the start.)

 So Natasha’s following up some leads- the film needs to open with her doing something violent and badass, like breaking into a Hydra base. And you see a female silhouette rapidly moving through dark corridors, the odd flash of red hair, the occasional detail of her weaponry but mostly it’s fast movement and the fleshy noises of Hydra minions being dispatched with incredible efficiency. Natasha has a personal grudge against Hydra, she’s fucking furious- they tricked her, used her as part of SHIELD and manipulated her into probably going on missions for them. She is not going to take very kindly to this. She has ways of not being very kind.

And it seems like things are happening too fast for even Black Widow to be doing it all, and then you see a flash of yellow boot, a flail of dark hair and like, they meet in the control room. No need for them to gratuitously fight- they’ll recognise each other. And each won’t know for sure that the other isn’t Hydra. Sure, Natasha released the secrets but in an atmosphere of such extreme betrayal and paranoia, Jess is going to have narrowed down the people she’s willing to trust to zero. Especially because everyone will be thinking she’s on the wrong side, having come from it. Jess is going to have been even more personally traumatised by the whole ‘SHIELD was Hydra all along’ revelation than Natasha- this is important because through the film, Natasha needs to be exasperated with Jess’ paranoid cutting off of everything to the point where she lets go of her own.

So yeah, they could fight at this point- Natasha knows how to defect, though. So instead you get a terse verbal negotiation and they work out what they’re both after, which is Madame Hydra, who is up to some bad shit cus that’s her deal. She’s doing said bad shit from Madripoor because we need to go to a good location. Hot, noisy, criminal Madripoor can be the perfect, crowded, humans everywhere location for clinical, cool, controlled Black Widow to find herself.

And ok yes this is where my concept slightly peeters out because I haven’t, like, intricately plotted it (give me another few weeks of hard thought) but basically Nat and Jess go on a journey of self-discovery through the criminal underworld of Madripoor, try to work out what they’re made of. There will be moral ambiguity, there’ll be repeated moments where it’s obvious their skillsets could be used to make a lot of money and have a lot of power, that they’re their own greatest assets.

(Being your own greatest asset is a good value to come out of a lady superhero movie, IMO)

Thing is, tho, they won’t. Natasha works out that the thing that makes her more than the Black Widow, the thing that makes her more than a job (because an assassination order from Fury isn’t far different from one for hire, after all) is that she can make those choices. That there’s a bit of her that’s conscious and moral and wants to not just do things but do the right things, that’s she’s more than the illusion of order that following instructions to deploy herself provided. 

And also: car chases, diving out of windows on the 68th floor, badass weapons, perhaps a little misandry from Madame Hydra’s mouth (she’s a strangely sympathetic, personable villain, for a complete megalomaniac) and a lot of punching. Neon lights and darkness and slinking across rooftops to drop on someone’s head and garotte them. The kind of stuff we all do on Friday nights.

Anyway, at the end, Natasha has to choose between killing Madame Hydra, which would very efficiently complete the mission and saving Jess, which would even piss Jess off if Madame Hydra gets away. And there’s one choice there for Natasha and one for Black Widow and she can work out which one she ought to take. 

Basically please can we have a paranoid, sweaty thriller about women laughing together with violence? It will be top.

(With only a small amount of bias, I nominate @febricant to play Jessica)

Reliance: Chapter 1

McCree was going to kill Hanzo…if they survived their current mission, something that wasn’t looking too promising when they’re left behind in a winter storm, the cold and an ill-timed illness weighing them down and nothing to rely on apart from one another. Written for Nanowrimo 2016.

Disclaimer: As always Overwatch and its amazing characters don’t belong to me, I’m just borrowing them.

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