someone has probably said this already but ace discourse is really problematic on so many levels
First of all by creating a whole spectrum of what basically boils down to excuses why they won’t want to have sex is really damaging because it frames sex as something that everyone must want basically always. If you don’t wanna have sex with strangers you’re demisexual if you have a low libido you’re grey or asexual…
It fails to address the fact that you don’t need to have an excuse to not want to have sex. It fails to address the pressure our pornified society puts on people, especially young girls, to have sex early and often. It fails to address the fact that it’s ok to not want to have sex, or not to try certain sex acts. It fails to address the sexualisation of young girls.
Rather than creating this whole spectrum people should talk about the reasons behind the fact that people feel the need to create this while ace spectrum, why girls as young as 16 (or younger) feel the need to identify as ace. Fight against the way porn is influencing our society and children instead of focusing on getting people to accept a whole spectrum about the fact that you don’t wanna have sex.
Furthermore it fails to address that sometimes a low libido is the result of medication or depression.
But especially and this is a personal point for me: It fails to address compulsory heterosexuality and internalised homophobia.
I for one spent years trying to figure out where on the ace spectrum I fit and only radical feminism made me consider that maybe I wasn’t demi/grey but dealing with compulsory heterosexuality and the reason I wasn’t attracted to men and just waiting for the right one was not my demisexuality but rather the fact that I’m a lesbian. Ace discourse offers people like me an explanation that allows us an excuse and rather than help me it obscured what I really needed: help with the realisation that I am not somewhere on the elusive ace spectrum but rather dealing with internalised homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality. It took away years of accepting who I am and I cannot help but think that the young children, especially girls, who come across q***r spaces, will fall into the same trap I did and think of themselves as demi or ace instead of realising that they are homosexual…