so something has been grinding my gears for a while now.
Fat girls that say theyre proud of their bodies and yet want to loose weight. I do not want to hear a hit list of ‘healthy’ foods you need to eat and do not need to know what excersize machine you went on at the gym and for how long.
I want to hear about fats that are keeping active without the added pressure of ‘healthy’ activities. Im reading a book right now called ‘Screw Inner Beauty’ by bloggers Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby. Its actually the best book I’ve ever read. I agree with every line and it’s the most uplifting thing you could read without needing to chant some sort of mantra.
One of the chapters in the book mentions excersize. People do physical activities to psyche themselves into thinking its helping their bodies, which it is, but most of the time youre destroying your mind because you dont enjoy what youre doing, thus not really doing much for your body. They say to find something you enjoy doing and do it whenever you feel like it. Like doing yoga? So be it. Some days you cant be bothered? Dont beat yourself up. There will be other days. Its not about being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ when it comes to physical activities as well as eating habbits. At work i hear this most; ‘i cant have the muffin, im being good today’. This actually makes me want to punch people. Why deprive yourself of something you will enjoy? That muffin alone will not make you suddenly become Eureka Tower. You feel like having a muffin? Have the fucking muffin!
This brings me to my personal story. I’ve always been fat. Ive always eaten ‘badly’ and apprently that resulted in my being fat. It doesnt make sense. You know why? Because I loved sports. Any chance I got I would play games and run and play soccer and volleyball and I could outrun all the skinny people (again, they assumed that because their body was smaller than mine, they were more capable of intense physical exsertion. They were wrong, just like everyone else.). Since beginning working at my new job (i say new, but I’ve been there a year now), my fitness has deminished. I used to be able to run comfortably and now because I dont do any occupational physical activity and just have to sit at my desk all day, I’ve become a tired, saggy lump. I feel like a potato. I cant even walk up one flight of stairs & I used to be able to run up at least 3 comfortably (which i know isnt much, but hey, gtfo). I also miss running. I actually miss being able to put my runners on and just run. I have decided, because of missing running so much, I’m going to join the gym. I told my mum ‘I just want to run because i enjoy it, and i want to try out some weights and whatever other cool shit they have there’. Right after that she made a comment about how much weight I would loose doing this. I got angry and walked away because she didnt understand that i just wanted to do this because its something i enjoy. Think of it as painting, or sewing or something. It doesnt have anything to do with your body, its all about how its making you feel while doing it.
I dont really have a conclusive ending to this, but i hope someone reading this makes sense of it and takes it on bord in their own path to body positivity.