When non-vegans give vegans advice...

Lol the things I write to douchey men when I’m in a bad mood… This is a message I sent in response to a “gentleman” who tried to provide [patronizing] advice regarding dating vegan men:

“Good lord, this was painful to read….

Do you honestly think my age denies me the ability to move away from childish naïveté and "fairy tales?”

I realize you have good intentions, but trying to lecture someone simply because of your opposing gender and age is incredibly presumptuous. Like, INCREDIBLY.

You literally gave me nothing of newfound knowledge, except to expose me to a made-up word that you seem to get confused with the culinary word “umami.”

Your understanding of humankind’s biological processes is not even outdated, it’s just plain WRONG. One chapter in a modern evolutionary anthropology textbook could tell you the scientific facts of the human anatomy in relation to our changing diets over the centuries and why we began to eat meat in the first place.

You, like so many braindead Americans, seem to have a very fuzzy understanding of what veganism is all about. It is not comparable to the Atkins diet, or Jenny Craig, or any other nutritional restrictions meant to lose weight or remain at a healthy balance, it’s about not treating animals like commodities for sheer human greed & selfishness. It’s about understanding that we will NEVER find peace in this world until we treat all beings with respect, not just those of our species (and we can’t even seem to do that right). It’s about rejecting the capitalistic desire to use other creatures for our own unnecessary reasons, about dismantling the industrial food system that keeps so many innocent humans around the world in poverty and destitution, shackled to a social and economic system that keeps them dependent on rich, apathetic American consumers. It’s about establishing a sound, restored environment to leave behind for our future generations, not marred by the environmental degradation that occurs from mass factory farming and animal exploitation.

It is NOT about dating someone because I have a holier-than-thou perspective, or feel my partner must submit to my beliefs and interests before their own. It is also not about denying my partner the food they crave because it stinks or is revolting to look at. It’s not about any of those things, so it’s incredibly insulting that you try to come into MY inbox to give ME advice on a matter that you literally took no time to research and learn about.

If you cannot take the time to learn about something before trying to give advice when it wasn’t even asked for, please do the world a favor and keep it to yourself. In the time you sent this message, you could’ve easily Google-searched the word “veganism” and began your education in a topic you seem so eager to lecture on.

And one last thing: “I’m not writing to try to date you, but to maybe help you understand about men.”

Where in all of that cluster-fucked mumbo jumbo that you call advice did you teach me about men?? I’ve learned more about men, their thought processes, their emotions, and even their physical needs, by COMMUNICATING with them, watching their mannerisms, and believe it or not, by having sex with them. Men, just like women, are not alien beings with esoteric, mysterious ways that I am forever incapable of learning about. Please stop with the “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” thinking and realize that shit belongs in the past.

Again, I understand that you mean well, but out of all the ridiculous messages I’ve received, yours by far has been the most patronizing and insulting.

I may be young, but I am perfectly capable of learning about the world on my own, I don’t need vague, useless advice from a stranger on the Internet. And to top it all off, I think I’ve got a pretty solid head on my shoulders, thank you very much.

Here’s to bad advice,