Greedy Old Men Who Will Be Dead Soon Advocate Leaving Climate Pact
President Trump will make his decision on whether or not to back out of the Paris Climate Accord later today, and people on both sides of the argument are vying for the president’s ear. On one side are younger people who give actually a shit about the planet and believe in climate science, and on the other are old men in the pocket of the oil and coal industries who will be dead in 5-10 years. “Staying in the pact is anti-coal. I like coal. We used to burn it for warmth when I was a kid back in the 1890′s,” said Utah Senator Orrin Hatch. Also joining the anti-pact chorus are Trump’s chief darkness advisor Steve Bannon, EPA chief and clean coal dipshit Scott Pruitt, and Jesus’ favorite creationist Ted Cruz.