Pointing out that romanizing abuse makes it easier for abusers to normalize abusive concepts in order to hurt someone is not blaming the victim nor is it negating responsibility from the abuser. Saying that abusers often condition and groom potential victims using tv, movies, books, and even fanfic as “examples” of how normal what they are doing is does not place blame on the victim or the media. But it does happen. Nothing exists in a vacuum.