Ok, so in fiction and fantasy when an animal becomes a human or trapped in the body of a human what kind of a human it is is generally governed by the aesthetic cuteness of the animal.
Cuter animals generally becoming innocent, playful, naive humans.
Dolphins are a good example of this.

However, Dolphins are torturing serial rapists that kill for sport.
Were a dolphin to become a human I’m relatively certain that human would be a serial killer within a year.

This is why research is important, kids.

every time i see a pile of shit in the woods it’s either completely covered in flies or completely covered in little blue butterflies, and it’s always either/or. i’ve never seen a fly and a butterfly peacefully share a piece of shit. 

i have to wonder whether they’re just naturally interested in different kinds of shit or whether there’s like, a shit hierarchy, shit territories, that determine which group of shiteaters gets the specific shit. maybe a lone, brave butter- or common fly needs to be the first to claim the piece of poop for its colony and motherland. maybe there are all-out butter vs. fly wars over who gets to devour the freshly dropped dookie. 

where’s my straight-to-video animated feature starring disgustingly anthropomorphised insects about THAT

Please Stop

I am seeing too much anthropomorphising of animals lately — not in an artistic sense, but in people’s interactions with their companions.

Yelling “no, you know not to do that” at your skittish, unaltered cat does nothing but scare him. Seriously: he does not understand what you’re doing other than making loud, intimidating noises.

Yelling “no, you know not to do that” at your bored, but intelligent dog who just ate a portion of your couch will do nothing but scare her. She too does not understand why you’re yelling, when all she did in that moment was greet you at the door.

Timing is essential when figuring out how to manage what is in reality a natural response to the animal; whether it is a cat marking his territory or a dog who has not been given enough to do. It frustrates me to see these animals be put to human standards of intelligence and emotional depth when they see a very different world from us.

To say that your dog “acts like he is king” or “thinks she is the leader” are poor ways of understanding behaviour. Your dog is not guilty about ripping the carpet up, nor is it angry that you wouldn’t bring it to the park one Saturday. They aren’t sitting at the calendar, marking away the days until the Big Event™.

So please, stop anthropomorphising your pets, in training as well as day to day interactions. Your bond will strengthen when you treat them less like a human, and more like the creature they are. You will have a better understanding of your lizard, ferret, or bird if you take away human qualities and replace them with realistic traits.

It is so, so important that we all work to end our subconscious anthropomorphising of animals. Old habits are bad to break, but this one is absolutely worth it for everyone involved.

July 23rd - Spotted on the canal near Tamhorn Park, between Hopwas and Hademore, this late brood of mallard ducklings. Mum wasn’t nervous and tolerated me quite close, and the little chicks were relaxed and content.

I love the fact that umma almost, Mona-Lisa like seems to be smiling. I must stop anthropomorphising animals, but she seems very pleased with herself.

There are few things cuter than ducklings, after all.

Fact and Fiction

Anthropomorphised concepts of fact and fiction are having an argument. Fact is a fox, Fiction a hare.

They both wear tweed suits; tweed jackets and tweed trousers tucked into long red socks. Fact has a pair of spectacles perched on his long red snout, Fiction a monocle because why not.

Fact glowers at Fiction, clearly furious with his long-eared companion. Fiction is all wide-eyed innocence, whiskers twitching as he puffs nonchalantly on a pipe.

‘You’ve been doing it again!’ snarls Fact.

Fiction throws one paw to his chest in mock outrage ‘Moi? What did I do?’

Fact swings around and points emphatically at a half-empty pot of red paint, Fiction blinks politely at him, ‘My dear fellow, I really don’t know what you mean?’

Fact glares at Fiction before swinging around again, this time pointing to his right at what appears to be a false nose, long and suspiciously vulpine, lying on the floor. The nose is also red.

Fiction shifts, adjusting something behind his back. Fact stamps a foot ‘Come on! Out with it! What are you hiding!?’

Ears drooping slightly, Fiction turns to reveal a bushy red tail stuffed down the back of his trousers, ‘Now Fact, old boy, it was only a bit of fun, no harm done what?’

Fact snatches the tail from Fiction and shakes it in his face, ‘No harm!? Have you been paying any attention to the news!?’

‘Not really my scene, old boy, more a romantic novel kind of chap,’

Fact goes to a table and stalks back to Fiction thrusting several tabloid newspapers under his nose, pointing deliberately at several headlines. ‘What these? Oh, come now Fact, no one takes them seriously, surely?’  

Fact sags, taking off his glasses and slumping into a leather armchair. ‘What’s the use? You’ve done it so many times now that no-one can tell the difference anyway.’

Fiction walks over to his friend and pats him gently on one shoulder, ‘There there my dear fellow, don’t let it get you down, it is not as if it was a very good disguise anyway, just some am-dram nonsense I threw together. I’d be amazed if I wasn’t seen through immediately.’

Fact looks up and smiles hopefully, ‘do you really think so?’

Fiction pats his shoulder again and looks away, ‘Of course old boy, whyever not?’  

Macaulay Culkin Stars In Latest Compare The Meerkat Ads

It’s something of a trend nowadays to see Hollywood actors appear in adverts, with ‘Home Alone’s’ Macaulay Culkin the latest to jump on board.

Yep, the latest big name to advertise alongside anthropomorphised meerkats Alexsandr and Sergei is none other than child star Culkin, who appears in his first (of presumably many) adverts for Compare the Market.

Both Arnold Schwarzenegger and Nicole Kidman have recently featured in the company’s previous advertising campaigns, with the latest continuing the playful trend.

Here, Alexsandr and Sergei reminisce over the ‘Home Alone’ star before picking him up to complete their family day out; surprised it’s actually him because he’s “a lot bigger in real life”. They take him on a the funnest of days out (thinking he’s still a child); wiping his mouth and getting his face painted like a tiger.

Obviously there’s the link-in with their Meerkat Movies offer which replaced the popular Orange Wednesdays, offering 2-for-1 vouchers on cinema tickets, so with the actor having not done any movies of note since the 1990s, we can’t say we blame him.

What’s funny here is, in terms of general public perception, people remember the actor best for his childhood roles of the ‘Home Alone’ franchise, as well as ‘Ritchie Rich’, and tearjerker ‘My Girl’.

With the likes of Ashton Kutcher advertising for Wrigley’s, Mila Kunis for Jim Beam, Jennifer Aniston for Emirates, and Sly Stallone for Warburtons, it’s no surprise to see Culkin or any of the actor for that matter cashing in on the lucrative world of advertising.

Check out the full advert below.

Read More:
Tom Holland’s Epic Spidey Selfie
BoJack Horseman Writer Joins Lego Movie Sequel
Kiefer Sutherland Joins Flatliners Remake

Picture credit: Twentieth Century Fox, YouTube

Welcome to the only two people left standing at the end of the Westminster Chainsaw Massacre. One, a Home Secretary of six years service, whose greatest hits include driving “Immigrants Go Home” billboards around racially charged neighbourhoods … and the other an anthropomorphised Daily Mail Comments section.
—  The Independent, Tom Peck, 8 July 2016

there needs to be a massive reform of world religions as the majority of original teachings have been perverted through history. for example, in the eastern religions they avoid trying to depict God because you simply can’t depict God in a picture. How can you express the infiniteness and transcendence of God in a picture? similarly, if you draw him as a person, you will be tempted to anthropomorphise him and treat him as a human - when he transcends human interactions. this is why islam and judaism forbids having pictures of God because you simply cannot capture him properly. but through history this has been interpreted as “destroy these images and those who make them” - hence the charlie hebdo attacks.

similarly, no one on the ancient world actually thought the eden story was real. they all knew the garden of eden was a parable to help explain the human condition in a time when science was unable to do so. it is only in the 4th century AD when st augustine said that it was actually, literally true. he’s also the one who helped the catholic church come up with the idea that as soon as you’re born you’re a miserable little sinner in the eyes of god, so thank him for that.