anthony romeo

A Shakespearean Character Guide to Dealing with an Annoying Roommate

Macbeth: Invite him to a sleepover. Then stab him.

Hamlet: Put on a play that outlines all of your roommate’s annoying flaws. Then stab him.

Romeo: Marry his cousin and try to start a new, peaceful relationship. When that doesn’t work, stab him.

Brutus: Petition your roommate to change for the better. Then stab him with 60 of your closest friends.

Othello: Talk to your friend about the problems you’re having with your roommate. Then strangle him.

Shylock: Make him sign a pound of flesh as collateral on your roommate agreement. Collect on it.

Cleopatra: Set a poisonous snake loose in his room.

Henry VIII: Marry him. Then cut off his head.

Absence Makes the Heart grow Heavy | Closed


If there was ever a happy couple, it was Anthony and Miguel. The two of them just clicked together like a couple of lego blocks. Like few things in the world, they just worked.

The two of them traveled together, never staying in one place for very long. They lived for the road and for each other. It seemed like nothing would ever split the apart.

And then one morning, as the sun rose and splashed its yellow-orange light through the truck’s windshield, it fell upon Anthony and Romeo. But not Miguel.

The Brazilian merc was gone without a trace, leaving behind the man he had claimed to love only hours before.