Relationships to me...
should be fun and exciting. It should be about joy, laughter, and love. It should be about getting to know the person and explore to see what each person is like and falling in love with her/him. It should also be about learning from past relationships so it matures and allows you to grow for future relationships.
This isn’t a post about falling in love with the person of my life or anything cause that’s a post for the future… But more times than not.. it always ends up bad and one must go through this thing called a breakup which is never easy especially if you care about that person but you gotta take and learn from it.
My most recent past relationship I’ve learned 3 things.
- I’ve always had trust issues because of my past relationships, but this is the first time in my entire life, I trusted my Girlfriend 100%. My friends that really know and been there since the beginning, know how hard it is for me to trust someone. Now I’ve learned on how to trust someone, and i’ve realized it If you don’t trust your partner to be faithful, honest, caring or anything else, then you’re not in a good relationship. The best relationships begin with a deep trust, and even if problems come up, the trust is strong enough to keep you together.
2. Misunderstandings are inevitable
- Whenever my partner misunderstood something or assumed something and got mad about it, i would get mad myself cause in my head im telling myself “ARE YOU SERIOUS???!?! RN???” and basically just ignore it because i dont have time to deal with it, or im basically out enjoying life with friends and will just get back to it later. I’ve figured out that this is not a good option because it just makes it worse and should be addressed immediately.
Now i’ve learned that misunderstandings will happen and you gotta learn that if you take your partner’s word one way, but it was meant for another, don’t punish him/her for it. Don’t keep bringing it up for future arguments because it will only bruise up the relationship and cause for communications problems later. . Take a step back and realize it’s not a big deal. Misunderstandings only become problems if you let them grow bigger and mean more in the scope of your relationship. Be laid-back and forgive misunderstandings.
3. Never Expect anything
-Don’t expect your partner to read your mind, and don’t expect them to read yours. If you truly want something, speak up and communicate. There were countless VAGUE arguments about idk what because my partner expect me to read her mind or something, i would get so damn mad cause im literally like… “WTF DO YOU WANT?????!!!!” when it should’ve just been direct since the beginning. I admit im not a perfect boyfriend or person for that matter so just speak your mind to help me know and learn because it’s not healthy to bottle things up, it just makes both sides frustrated and could lead to unnecessary arguments. Make sure your partner know what to expect from you and you know what to expect from her from the relationship.
Breakups are never easy… especially if you care about that person
For the first time in my life, I wanted to do a clean mutual break up. I never wanted to hurt her, make her mad, or sad. She was a good girlfriend to me and will always have a place in my heart., the stuff she did for me, I know she did it because she cared about me and I appreciate her for it. It’s always easy to talk shit but hard to show appreciation for someone.
In the end it turned out to be a bad breakup, I actually tried and sat down face to face to explain everything and give closure. I thought it would work but it all went to a pile of shit. throwing jabs at each other, mutual friends start getting into the mix, people start choosing sides… like this is not what i wanted. Just gotta get past it because theres other priorities to worry about.
edit// maybe one day i can actually have a good mutual breakup where people aren’t assholes and actually care about you instead of seeing your drama as entertainment because, once you’re on the other end and people enjoying your entertainment, you won’t enjoy then.