I’m sorry for always disappearing when I don’t feel alright or when I’m sober. You don’t need to apologize, it’s my fault. Sometimes I wish that you were more than an online friendship, maybe in a perfect world you were closer and I didn’t have to keep posting these sad pieces to tell you that I feel miserable. I’m listening to this song and they’re saying, they feel colder than Dakota. My heart is everywhere, someone claims that they’re in love with me and I just don’t know if I’m all the way there. I’m just trying to be okay in a realm of empty. I don’t mean to be this sad. I don’t mean to disappear. I don’t mean to not check up. I don’t mean to only tell you that I love you as my apology for not maintaining our friendship. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to rely on drugs to cure a broken heart. In a better place with another me, I’d be smiling with no reasons to blame myself for where I am currently. She hugs me and tells me that if you don’t give love a chance, love will never happen. She tells me that it is possible to love someone without loving yourself and I don’t think it’s true at all. How can you love another if you don’t know who you are? I don’t want my heart to be pulled like magnets facing opposite ends. I guess I just have a hard time opening up. I guess I just have a hard time hearing when another person’s in love with me. It’s my fault for disappearing and I’m sorry. I guess lately, my apologies are all that I know.