another of those things that literally took me a year to get around to

The Reason I Don’t Do Cold Readings Anymore…

by reddit user Skarjo

I don’t do ‘Cold Readings’ anymore. I don’t tell fortunes. I don’t read tea leaves.

And I do not do contact ‘the other side’.

Look, don’t judge me alright? It was an easy gig. I mean, the first time I did it, it was a joke. I did it just to impress a girl. You’ve been there right? It was something I’d read about online and I thought I’d give it a go.

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Magic Works (aka STORY TIME)

Sit down, witches young and old.  I have a story to share.

So, in late Summer 2014, I was held at gunpoint and my car was stolen.  Without going into too much detail, I was out at night running errands and two masked men cornered me in the parking lot of my apartment complex.  (The Mister was not with me at the time; he was in the apartment.)  In the trunk of my car was my witchy box, which contained ALL of my most important craft materials including my book of shadows, my tarot, and my most beloved trinkets.  (I had taken it on a witchy retreat the weekend before.)

When they stole my car, they used it in a bank robbery and then ditched the vehicle after use.  I was DEVASTATED.  I couldn’t sleep or eat for days (trauma can be an absolute bitch); I was terrified to go out on my own, even on our porch.  I lost my job because I no longer had a means of transportation.  And to top it off, I ended up having a miscarriage around the same time.

Guys and gals, I went to a very dark place after this.  The police, as helpful as they were, told me that the likelihood of finding the vehicle was slim-to-none.  In fact, it is common in most places (and especially my state) that stolen vehicles are dumped in rivers or ravines, never to be found again.  What made matters worse was that I had JUST PAID THE CAR OFF and SWITCHED MY INSURANCE TO LIABILITY ONLY.  (For you bebes out there that don’t know, this means that your insurance company won’t replace the car if it is stolen.)

For months, I tried to dig myself out of this hole, but I felt like I couldn’t really connect with my craft because I was missing important elements to my spellwork.  Some of the things in that box were passed down for generations in my family.  They were absolutely priceless.  I felt so…lost.

The following May, I was visiting Tulum, Mexico.  A tropical storm was brewing off the shoreline and everyone else was drunk at one of the all-inclusive bar.  I watched from my balcony as surfers took to the turbulent waves and something came over me.  I felt a literal pull in my chest.  Something kept telling me to go to the water.

My family, friends, and the Mister all told me I was crazy when I went to the beach.  There was thunder, the waves were insanely high, and even the experienced surfers were having trouble.  On the lifeguard stands, black flags were posted (one of the signs that swimming is absolutely ill-advised) and for even an experienced competitive swimmer (that’s me!), it would be dangerous. But something told me to get into the water.

Nothing could have prepared me for the power of the ocean.  It pulled me when I resisted; it dragged against every limb and I became frightened.  But instead of thinking about the fact that I could possibly drown, I kept replaying those guys and their guns pointed at me, one shoved into my forehead.  I became angry; I kicked harder, pushed myself further until I felt the sand at my toes again.

I was crying and so angry.  I stood still in the water and called out into the wind.  I beat my fists against the surface of the sea (I probably looked insane, but no one was out there) and felt all of my pain seep away.  I begged the water for one thing: even if the car didn’t run, could my precious things be returned to me.  I bartered with the sea.

The sea giveth and the sea taketh away, as they say.  All of the hurt and terror and anguish I had felt over the previous year disappeared.  I was embraced by the water and somewhere so very deep inside me, I knew everything would be okay.  There was finally a sense of calm and clarity inside me, replacing the tumultuous emotions I had been feeling.

The morning we left, after the storms had passed, I went back to that secluded part of the beach and promised that I would dedicate my life to helping witches around me.  I had never made a promise like that in my life.

A month after that, the state police found my car.  It wasn’t in working condition at all, but everything remained intact in the trunk.  They brought it to my parents’ house and I rushed outside.  I sobbed when my dad opened the trunk and saw the box waiting, looking the exact same way it did the night the car was stolen.  Everything was in it, untouched by the elements.  (Eventually, I repaired the car enough for it to run another two-and-half-years, too!)

Magic is real.  Against impossible odds, there is power in every wish and desire.  I will never regret the promise I made that day.  I will never take for granted the gifts that have been given to me.  And when people scoff when I say that I am a witch, I inwardly smile and know that my magic is true and real.  I have all the proof I need.

Closet Softie

Or, How Bucky Barnes Nearly Ruined His Tough-Guy Rep

(On AO3)


The trail mix was gone. 

The nice, expensive trail mix, with twelve kinds of nuts and the big sunflower seeds and dried fruits, the kind Tony only rarely left sitting on the common floors for everyone to get at, was gone. 

Clint had been looking forward to that stuff all morning

All the way through a hellish morning “jog” with Steve, all through Nat handing him his ass on the training mats, all through firing the same batch of misweighted arrows over and over so Tony could take scans and fix the design, he’d been thinking, when this is done I get to go upstairs and hang out on the couch and watch Dog Cops and eat the good trail mix, guilt-free. 

And it was gone.

Clint was gonna shoot somebody.

Just as soon as he figured out who’d taken the trail mix.


kingofmemes posted:

yesterday i saw a sad duck in the park who kept getting picked on by the other ducks so today i brought some trail mix and we had a nice lunch together. also i think he might be the duck who pooped on sam last week. if so, he is officially my new best friend. 

Posted at 3:29 PM, 24379 notes

(Read More Below)


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brutally honest descriptions of the mbti types based off my experiences with them via a very sleep deprived infp

enfp:

-commitment issues? haha i’ve never heard of those :))))

-will literally punch a toddler in the throat if they say they support trump

-so i took the mbti test 7 times and i got infp twice and entp once?? i don’t really know, because i kind of fit into the infj sterotypes more, but if you really think about it i’m kind of an enfj? but i also really relate to isfps, but then again i think i’m too opinionated and logical to be a feeler, so entp isn’t out of the question, but i also feel like the entj cognitive functions really fit m

-genuinely love animals and it’s so pure

-hi sorry for not replying, i was in prison :3 also i moved to norway lol

-actually just the 2007 taco xd random aesthetic irl

-“i just came up with another book plot” texts approximately every 2.3 hours

isfp:

-hi i’m melissa i’m a 23 year old art school dropout and i abuse prescription pills but it’s okay because i have 200 followers on my grunge aesthetic instagram account. rent me an apartment?

-(talking about veganism to someone at a party) i just don’t understand how anyone could put all of that stuff in their body :/ *bends down to snort a line of cocaine*

-actually really artistically talented but much like the infp they refuse to give themselves any credit for it

-my dream man is someone who goes to coachella with me, helps me align my charkas, takes sad candid pictures of me, is willing to backpack around europe with me and my philosophy class during the summer,

-*googles* why do i share a type with literally every indie musician that has ever breathed lol

-probably fucked your girl in the back of a vape shop

infj:

-if you manage to find one never let them go they are some of the best people you’ll ever meet

-huge harry potter nerds

-can manage to get you to spill out your entire life story to them with a concerned glance

-please actually care for yourself for once and a while literally you do everything for everyone else just take some time for yourself god dammit you deserve it

-CATS™

-could be literally the most talented person in the world but would never come close to admitting it

-hi i’m actually just jesus christ irl! nice to meet you :-)

intj:

-they know everything

-like seriously everything it’s kind of scary like calm down karl

- allows themselves to recognize exactly one (1) human emotion per year

-can read for hours on end without getting bored and genuinely loves learning

-are generally dicks tbh especially to the people they love the most

-wikipedia articles™

-they actually aren’t actually the emotionless robots tumblr seems to display them as, they are actually extremely emotional in my experience and tend to get offended/upset easily and over small things

-sci-fi, cats, and machines > humans

-superiority complex™

-cute when they aren’t busy throwing tantrums/crushing the souls of their enemies

esfj:

-hi i’m martha, i’m 32 years young, i like long walks by the beach, yoga, and judging my neighbors for not mowing their lawn :-)  

-tend to be extra™ parents and their kids can either turn out complete emotional wreck assholes because they’ve never been disciplined or the happiest child you’ll ever meet, there is no in between

-they may be complete snakes and have never came up with an original idea in their entire life but boy can they make a killer chicken parmesan

-kind of comforting in a mother-like sense when they aren’t busy being judgmental dicks

-will clean your entire house for you on a whim

infp:

-wow i love being an infj :)) top 1% haha :))

-will literally develop a crush on someone because they say they know what tumblr is

-find purpose in writing/creating in general

-ending toxic relationships?? haha what’s that??? :))

-constantly switches between their “you can’t control me it isn’t a phase mom go away >:(( my chemical pilots at the disco saved me xd i will literally punch a baby fuck the system i’m 2cool4school” persona and their “i’m such a smol bean :3 save all the animals <333 i love pretty girls and dogs :))” persona

-“can i txt you back in like 15 mins i’m having an emotional breakdown lol”

-actually genuinely empathetic and creatively gifted but gives themself credit for none of it

-intelligent but fails classes because their teacher said something that went against their morals

-playing the victim? never heard of it! :))

-secretly just meme hoarders

-attention whores tbh i won’t even deny it

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

entp:

-hi it’s 6 fucking am and everyone just wants to go back to sleep or die or both but i’m gonna start an argument with the professor over the origin of tangerines for no apparent reason

-*googles* how to permanently get rid of my fe in 5 simple steps

-follow my meme page xd

-so what if i love my dog more than i do myself and my entire family?

-this conversation is boring me i’m gonna go chug a bottle of vodka and binge bill nye the science guy™ peace out

-have low self-esteems but compensate through obscure dark web conspiracy theories at 3 in the morning

-shirley i didn’t call you back because you’re a fake ass bitch not because i didn’t like your lasagna at the block party

estp:

-why do i keep physically abusing my crush lol

-and why do i keep yelling i can’t even stop at this point someone please send help

-they love food more than they do themselves

-fuckboys™

-hi welcome to my prank youtube channel :3

-the type of people to show up to school with 37 puppies and a knife

-i’m not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks

entj:

-sorry i didn’t show up to school because you’re fucking stupid

-awe infp is so cute <3 i’ll destroy them last

-*on the floor, drunk, talking to their dog* you’re the only motherfucker in this town who can handle me

-what do you mean other people’s opinions/beliefs besides my own are valid lol??

-lowkey have daddy kinks

-what do you mean it’s physically impossible for me to control every aspect of my life??

-i mean if you really think about it voldemort was the victim,

-the type of person who could tell their crush they like them without flinching. terrifying

istp:

-wears d.a.r.e shirts ironically

-1990’s grunge aesthetic

-would walk into a burning building for the meme

-playing the hero?? haha never heard of it :))

-ew what the fuck man get those feelings away from me lol

-fuck da police

-following the rules?? that seems excessive lmao no thanks

istj:

-i once had one (1) original idea back in the summer of ’67. it was terrifying. i’ll never do it again.

-your scary math teacher that wears black socks everyday expects friday. then they jazz it up a bit with stripes. will mark your grade up if you say you like the same sports team as they do.

-understanding concepts outside of your own experiences? lmao no thanks?

-will make quizlet sets organize your desk for you

-my dream in life is to narrate a crime documentary and complete my george washington memorabilia collection.

-remembers all of their colleagues birthdays. doesn’t say happy birthday.

enfj:

-fucking get over your ex already he wasn’t that attractive calm down allison

-*googles* why do i relate to regina george from mean girls so much?

-the type of person who tells your boyfriend you have a crush on him

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

-gets your shit together for you. judges you

intp:

-dead inside

-if you can manage to find one that actually tolerates you they are some of the most loyal and true people you’ll ever meet

-horrible social skills, compensates through meme hoarding

-sends you links to conspiracy theory videos when you’re sad

-extremely intelligent but they get lost in their own house

-whoops i just remember i haven’t showered in 3 weeks lol

-i would laugh at that joke but i’m 3 hours deep into an existential crisis and i’m 100% convinced you are actually a robot created by bill clinton so not today jeff

esfp:

-yes homo

-cries over cat videos in public

-facetimes you in a grasshopper fursuit at 3 in the morning

-probably an alcoholic

-has 87 different crushes at once

-you haven’t talked to them in 7 years but they’ll show up at your birthday party and give you dog

-also attention whores

-generally has the personality of someone who just did 10 lines of cocaine

isfj:

-one sec let me just gather up all of the fake empathy i can muster for this particular situation

-that one kid in class who always has perfect notes

-shudders at the thought of… a… creative… thought….

-falls in love with an estp approximately every 23 seconds

-hi i’m karen, i’m 34, i love my family, cupcake baking, helping people of course until it interferes with my own personal comfort haha, christmas decorations, room layouts,

-probably has a studyblr

estj:

-your angry boss

-probably cyberbullies children on the internet 

-has an emotional breakdown when they don’t win classroom jeopardy 

-*googles* who is bernie sanders and why do i want him dead

-organizes your shit for you, regrets it later

-dead inside

splinter (m)

» pairing: jungkook x reader

» genre: angst, non-explicit smut / college au

» word count: 6,518

» description: Perhaps in their last moments together, the pieces won’t seem so broken. That maybe even with their jaded hearts they can salvage some replica of what it all once was. 

» note: there are mentions of cheating in this story

People love to talk about the ‘what ifs.’

What if they had just kept going, what if they had chosen a different path, what if things had just gone the way they had so desperately wanted them to? Humans torture themselves with these thoughts, all while urgently grappling at the threads of their memories that led to the fork in the road where things went awry. They ponder them tirelessly, wondering if they could’ve done something different, only to realize in the end that it didn’t matter because what was done was done. It was that simple, yet again, people still loved to talk, ponder, and torture themselves with the possibility of what if — However, in your personal experience, there was something much worse.

There was a sub-group of sorts to the what-ifs, called the ‘almosts.’ Almosts are burning flames of misery because they tease you by getting so heartbreakingly close to what you wanted. They were in your reach, resting on the tip of your tongue, only to dissipate before you could swallow it down and make it yours.

So yeah, you weren’t a fan of the-almosts. But what you were even less keen on was being in the same room as your almost, the thread of memories making the air thick as it wrapped its way around your throat.

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Testosterone Boys

Reader x F*ckboi!Yoongi ft. Taehyung
Synopsis: 
A little end of the year party tradition gets taken too far.
Genre: Smutty, Angst
Word Count: 7.1k
Part 1 of 2


Originally posted by dreamyoongi


“No! It’s not happening.”  

“C'mon. It’s harmless. Seriously, it’d be like a chill thing.”

“No, Yoongi. There’s no way I’m doing that.”

“Why not? There’s seriously no ill feelings behind it, I only need them for a little bit and then you’ll get it back.”

“Why can’t you take no for an answer, Loser. I’m not giving you my underwear. Bye.”  

Yoongi sighed as he followed you outside of the house party to the backyard. The music pounded through the walls from inside, blaring fast beats and obscene profanities, echoing past numerous houses down the street. The cold air hit your cheeks that were tinted red from the alcohol and the heat of the copious amounts of bodies ‘bumping and grinding’ on one another.  

Even outside, the yard was filled with scattered groups and couples. Each of them drinking from those infamous red, plastic cups, taking hits off of each others blunts, or connected to their partners lips. Pushing past them was no easy task, consistently bumping into intoxicated bodies as you made your way to the empty swinging loveseat.

You ran your hand through your hair as you sat, attempting to catch a breath. The party was suffocating. It seemed as though people flooded every room, corner, crevice and pocket the household had. The bathroom; occupied by two girls from your Literature class going down on the All-Star Quarterback whose only response to the disturbance was “Do you wanna join?”

The bedrooms were either locked and if they weren’t you wouldn’t dare go into them anyways. Oh no, you’d learned your lesson the first time you’d ever gone to a house party of this size. Turns out, High Schoolers were a lot kinkier than you could ever have thought.  

Any other room was full of people trying too hard to impress their peers when in the end it didn’t even matter. You never saw the point in these fiascos. High School lasts 4 years and then it’s over with and you don’t ever see these people again. They weren’t important to you in the long run.

So, why were you here in the first place? Well you could thank your 'best friend’ for that. Park Jimin. After well, years, of begging for you to try another party saying, “It won’t be like the first one, I promise. I won’t leave your side and we’ll have fun, just the two of us, okay?” He finally got you to agree to try it once more making him swear he really wouldn’t leave you alone at any point during the party. But, here he was; weak as a kitten as soon as his ex walked in, begging for some alone time to 'talk’.

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anonymous asked:

Hello, I'm the anon who's freaking out about being thrown into adulthood, and thank you for your previous help. 1.) How do I mamage/budget a minimum wage salary? 2.) I've never been great with any sort of organization, but would you mind teaching me about home organization and important paper organization?

Okay, so this post will be about budgeting on minimum wage, and later in the day I will also post about paper organization. Enjoy!

Budgeting on Minimum Wage

Overview

The average minimum wage in the US is $7.25/hr. Even working full time at 40 hours a week, that’s only a profit of $290 before taxes. This is not a fair living wage! You are worth way more than this amount! I strongly encourage you to start looking for another job that pays better, look for something around the $10-$15 range. 

While $7.25 is atrocious, thousands of people around the world support families on much less. If they can do it while supporting children, so can you! To live off a minimum wage budget you need to declare yourself independent. If your parents are still claiming you as a dependent YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DO THIS. I also recommend that you have the highest amount possible taken out of your taxes so that you get money back from your state at the end of the year, instead of being in debt to them.

What I’ve done is come up with a budgeting plan based off some made up factors and my own personal experience.

Housing

1. City life. Forget about the city! Apartments located in cities can be three times as expensive as apartments in small towns or villages. On top of the extra expense, they’re much smaller and have less amenities included. I’d much rather live in a one bedroom apartment with a dishwasher and a conveniently located Laundromat, than a literal closet with no windows on a fifth floor walkup. Look for apartments twenty minutes to a half hour outside of your closest city. Now you have the close conveniences of a city, with none of those pesky city prices that your budget can’t handle.

2. College towns. Shop around and look at apartments by local colleges. Large colleges with have apartment complexes within walking distance of the school grounds. Landlords know that college students have less money (you might even be a college student yourself) and adjust their prices accordingly. Even apartments next to ivy league schools are priced this way, so don’t be discouraged by the institution’s “prestige”.

3. Locale. Your safety is more important than your bank account. It doesn’t matter if you live in Section 8 housing or in an affluent suburb. Some apartment complexes and neighborhoods are just safer than others. I live in a heavily populated and upper middle class suburb, and the first year I moved in, a drunk woman tried to throw a beer bottle at my car. Thankfully this is the only time this happened to me, but it made me feel unsafe in my environment. Before signing a lease, walk or drive around your prospective home’s neighborhood at night. Take in the atmosphere, and make sure it’s one where you could comfortably run to the local supermarket at 10:30pm and pick up toilet paper.

4. Roommates. Living on minimum wage requires that you find one or two roommates to help split the rent. The more the better! Get together with your more responsible friends, so at least you’re living with people whose company you enjoy. There are lots of “roommate wanted” forums and message boards for you to browse on the internet, but always bring a responsible adult with you before meeting a stranger. Please. Bring your mom if you have too.

Food

1. Low-spoon food. I created this post a few months ago which offers lots of suggestions about cooking and shopping on a budget.

2. Online recipes. Here are some of my favorite online Tumblr cookbook resources. 

3. I also regularly update my cooking on a budget tag. 

Misc Expenses

1. Gas. Shop around and find the cheapest gas in your area. Avoid gas stations next to colleges, highways, and in touristy areas. Look into getting as gas rewards card from your favorite supermarket. I get 10 cents off a gallon with Stop & Shop every time I do a big shop. 

2. Dollar store. Get to know your local dollar and bargain stores. You can buy everything from pots and pans to bed sheets there. These stores often sell bulk ramen for $1 and large cans of crushed tomatoes for 75 cents. That’s enough food for you to live off of for several days. When shopping, I make three grocery store stops to ensure that I spend the least amount possible on my pantry needs. I go Dollar Store, Stop and Shop, and then to my local organic grocery store. I’m going to make a list of things that I buy at Dollar Stores and things that I don’t buy at Dollar Stores soon!

3. Cable. We are living in the digital age- you don’t need cable television. Use Netflix or Hulu or whatever. It will save you tons of $$. 

4. Internet. As far as internet speed goes, if you’re living with roommates you will probably need a higher speed. Living by yourself, choose a lower one. Most internet companies offer large discounts to new subscribers. These typically only last a year, but will save you serious money. Make sure to take note of when this discount expires, and contact the company before it does. If you don’t, they’ll begin charging you the full amount without notice.

5. Verizon. I just want to take a moment to talk about how much I love Verizon because they have literally saved me so much money in the three years I’ve been with them. After you sign a contract with a new internet company, they charge you a bunch of ridiculous fees like “activation fees” and “installation fees”. I called Verizon and was like “I’m a poor college student, I can’t afford this” and they were like “don’t worry, we’ll waive the fee”. I signed a two year contract with them that saved me $80 on a high-speed internet bill per month (my price being only 50.99 a month). After the contract expired I call them and they put me on a month to month, keeping the price absolutely the same. TLDR- get Verizon if you can.

6. Utility. Get on a monthly budget with whatever utility company services your new apartment. Although it may seem like the cheaper option, paying the actual amount of electricity you spend per month is the more expensive. It’s also unpredictable, and a minimum wage budget won’t allow for it. See this for more info.

7. Amazon. I buy a lot of my beauty, cleaning, and cat products online. Amazon offers Prime shipping free for a year with a student email address, and then offers it at a greatly reduced price after the year. If you are a student, snap up that free deal ASAP. If it’s in your budget, I’d greatly recommend investing in Amazon Prime.

8. Saving money. It’s so important to attempt to break way from the “paycheck to paycheck” vicious cycle. Living this way does not allow for emergency expense money, and trust me, sometime soon you will need emergency expense money. Your cat might get sick or your car may die, whatever it is, it’s always smart to have at least $500 squirreled away. I’m gonna level with you, things have been tight for my budget and I haven’t been able to save anything for the past three months. But this month I will!

Example Budgets

Full Time

Working with the $7.25/hr and 40hr/week model, here’s an example budget for living on minimum wage. That’s $1,160 a month without taxes.

Housing: Let’s say you’re sharing an apartment with two close friends, the rent being $1,500 without any amenities. That rent split three ways is $500 each.

Gas I commute twenty minutes every day, and I drop about $20-$25 a week on gas. That’s $100 on gas a month.

Food: I do one big shopping a month with my boyfriend. We drop around $180 and that’s including toiletries and soap and stuff. So maybe you’ll spend about $100 a month on all your shopping needs.

Cable/internet:  Hopefully you took my advice and skipped cable. Let’s say you’re paying around $50 per month for internet. Split three ways that’s $17 each.

Laundry: Hopefully you’re not like me and are only spending around $20 on laundry per month.

Random expenses: Because there always are some. Let’s just tack on another $100.

With everything added up, you still have around $290 left before taxes! That money can go into a savings account, and after several months, you’ll have that $500 worth of emergency money saved.

Part Time

Working with the $7.25/hr and 25hr/week model, here’s an example budget for living on minimum wage. That’s $725 without taxes.

Housing: In this case, you need to look for apartments in the $800-900 range. In my area, one bedroom apartments go for around $1000, so you may need to get creative with your roommate (I don’t think you could have more than one roommate in this situation). Buy dividers to split the bedroom or studio in half! Let’s say your rent is $850 with nothing included, that’s $425 each.

Gas You’re still looking at a large gas bill per month, so it may be more inexpensive to ride a bike or use public transportation. Let’s say you use public transportation, and spend around $50 a month on that. Or maybe you and your roommate can split gas expenses and share a car?

Food: Pinch those pennies! Use some of those budget cookbooks I linked above to help you cook healthy and delicious meals for under $4 each. See if you can only spend $80 a month on groceries.

Cable/internet:  Hopefully you took my advice and skipped cable. Let’s say you’re paying around $50 per month for internet. Split two ways is $25 each.

Laundry: Hopefully you’re not like me and are only spending around $20 on laundry per month.

Random expenses: Because there always are some. Let’s just tack on another $100.

That leaves you $25 to put in your bank account, if that. This is a paycheck to paycheck situation, and you will probably need to get another source of income to feel secure. But you can still do it!

Confessions - Carl Gallagher Imagine

Originally posted by zgallagher

Warning: Sexual content, swearing, etc.

Word Count: 2277



“Carl, give it back!” you yelled, rolling your eyes and chasing your best friend up the stairs of the Gallgher house.  Since you had stopped to text a few times while the two of you were playing a video game on the couch, he took it upon himself to snatch the phone out of your hands and run away with it.

“Hey, I just wanna know who could possibly be so important that they could distract you as I kicked your ass in Call of Duty,” he teased, sprinting into his room and unsuccessfully attempting to slam the door before you put your foot in the doorway.

“Ow, what the fuck, Carl?” you yelled, limping in on the foot that hadn’t been crushed by the door.  “I was literally just answering my brother to let him know that I was spending the night here per usual!  And I was letting him know that I’d go grocery shopping tomorrow.  Now give me my phone back so I can finish kicking your ass downstairs.”

Carl smirked and raised his eyebrows at you, plopping down on Ian’s empty bed.  “Your brother.  Mhmm.” His eyes continued to nosily scan the screen of your phone.

“Yes, Carl, my brother.  I’m pretty sure we both know that I have nobody interesting to text considering I’ve been single for, what, six months now?  Now give me my phone back,” you demanded, inching forward and banging your hip into his dresser.  The rocking of the dresser caused a box to fall on the ground, spilling out its contents.  A smirk formed on your lips as your eyes scanned the ground.  It was your turn to tease him now.  “Ah, nice condoms.  I see someone has been getting the ladies?”

Carl immediately shot up to his feet, shoving you to the side and bending down to pick up the condoms off of the ground.  “Ha, I wish,” he said with a chuckle, a slight blush forming on his cheeks.  His shaky hands struggled to shove the contents back into the box.

You raised an eyebrow in response, stepping forward and ripping your phone out of his back pocket.  “What do you mean by that?” you questioned, walking around him and climbing up onto his bed as he remained on the ground.  “We’ve been best friends for years and I’m pretty sure we both know you’ve had your fair share of girls over here.”

“Yeah, I have, but…” He paused for a moment as he shoved the box into one of the drawers and slammed it closed.  “I’ve never gone, like, all the way with any of them… you know. Sure I’ve done just about everything else, but I’ve never actually done that with any of them.”  It was pretty clear he was embarrassed to confess this to you.

The smirk reappeared on your lips as he hesitantly climbed up onto his bed and plopped down beside you, his eyes refusing to meet yours.  “Wow, Carl Gallagher, a virgin?  When did you plan on telling me this?” you mocked, shoving his side before giggling quietly to yourself.

Carl clearly wasn’t amused.  He rolled onto his side so his back was facing you.  “Stopppp.”

You laughed yet again and rolled your eyes, squeezing his shoulder.  “I’m just messing with you.  I’m in the same boat as you.  No need to be embarrassed.”


“Really?” Your words caused Carl to roll back over to face you, his eyes scanning your face.  “Hmm. Interesting.”  Slowly, a smug grin formed on his lips.  “I guess that makes me feel a little better, but not completely.  Now since you’ve embarrassed me, it’s your turn to confess something about yourself.”

Your eyes widened as you shoved his chest with the palm of your hand.  “What? How is that fair?  I just confessed to the same thing!” you exclaimed, but Carl wasn’t having it.

“Nope,” he responded with a chuckle, grabbing your hand off his chest and holding it in his own a few seconds longer than usual. “You can’t have the same confession as me.  It has to be original.”  He was relentless.

“Ugh, fine,” you huffed, rolling over onto your back and staring up at the ceiling.  After a few moments of silent pondering, an idea finally came to your mind.  “I’ve never had an orgasm.”

The sheets ruffled as Carl shot up into a seated position on the bed.  A puzzled look took over his face as he stared down at you in disbelief.  “Wait, huh?”

You bit your lip as your cheeks began to heat up.  “I mean, yeah, is that so weird?”

Carl went silent for another few seconds, combing his fingers through his wavy hair as his face remained scrunched up in confusion.  “Well, yeah, kind of,” he started, nodding his head. “I get that you’ve never had sex, but I know you’ve done just about everything else with your past boyfriends.  And, what?  I just don’t understand.”

Your cheeks darkened even more as you looked down and began to play with your fingers.  “Sure I’ve done a lot of things with my past boyfriends, but… I don’t know.  None of them ever really brought me to that level.”

Still, Carl looked confused.  His eyes wouldn’t leave your embarrassed face as he tried to figure this out.  “Okay, so like, obviously your past boyfriends went down on you, right?”

This wasn’t exactly how had planned to spend your Friday night.  With a sigh, you sat up and rested your back against the wall.  “What do you mean by obviously?  Joey attempted it but got ‘tired’ and gave up after like thirty seconds. And Matt and Ben never did.  Matt said that it was weird and he’d rather not do it.  Ben said that girls like to go down on guys but guys don’t like to go down on girls.” You shook your head and covered your face with your hands.  “Can we please talk about something else now?”

Carl held up his hand in rejection and shook his head.  “No, no, no.  Not yet, Y/N.  I’m still confused,” he said, his wide eyes still burning into your face.  “So you’re trying to tell me that all three of those guys didn’t like going down on their girlfriends?”

“Yes, Carl, I guess that is what I’m saying,” you replied, beginning to get a bit annoyed.  “Why is this so hard for you to understand?”

Finally, a quiet laugh escaped Carl’s lips, but he still continued to shake his head.  “So you’re trying to tell me that there’s real guys that exist that don’t like to go down on their girlfriends?”

“Oh my god, yes, Carl.  That is what I’m saying.” Plopping down on your back again, you grabbed his pillow and threw it at his face.  “Enough now.”

“Wow.” He still wasn’t done.  “You’ve dated some really fucking weird guys, Y/N.”  When you only responded with an eye roll, he finally allowed himself to lay back down beside you.  “But still, never had an orgasm?  That’s insane.  You’ve been deprived.”

Your eyes at last met his as you shot him a glare.  “Wouldn’t know.”

“It’s amazing.  Heavenly, almost.  Feels so good it’s almost indescribable.” Carl’s eyes glowed as he described the obviously incredible sensation you had never experienced.  “Wish I could help you out with this one.”  After realizing what he said, the boy let out an awkward cough as his eyes darted to the ceiling.

“Yeah, me too,” you murmured, your cheeks changing to match the current color of his.  Not wanting to make things too awkward, you cleared your throat and sat up.  “Okay, we’re done with this.  Now it’s time for me to kick your ass in Call of Duty.”

The topic was dropped and the rest of the night was spent playing video games and stuffing your faces with junk food, which were your usual activities.  But something was different.  There was a tension between the two of you that usually wasn’t there.  Every so often, you’d catch Carl staring at you, causing his eyes to immediately dart away whenever you noticed.  More than once, you’d both go to reach into the bowl of popcorn between you at the same time and your hands would brush and linger near each other for a few moments too long.  The typical banter you two always shared now almost appeared to be what it always had been but neither of you would admit: flirting.  Sleeping together had never been an issue for the two of you, but tonight it was much more difficult for you both to get comfortable – not too close or too far away from one another.  Spooning was never weird before, but tonight Carl seemed extra fidgety as you pressed your backside into him.  Still, neither of you addressed the change and eventually managed to drift off to sleep.

You felt like you were on top of the world.  In heaven.  Straight ecstasy.  What a dream.

Your eyes flew open but the feeling didn’t go away. Your legs began to tremble as you propped yourself up on your elbows.  “F-Fuck… Carl?”

The moment you spoke up, the blankets were pulled back from your stomach and Carl’s face became visible between your thighs.  He looked up at you, flashing you a smirk.  “Good morning.  Wasn’t sure you were ever gonna wake up.”  Without another word, he inserted two fingers inside of you and moved his face back between your legs, darting his tongue across your clit.

The sensation was too good that you hardly knew how to react. A gasp escaped your lips as you bucked your hips up toward his face, increasing the pressure.  It was in that moment that it started to dawn on you what was happening.  “W-Wait. F-Fuck, Carl.  S-Stop,” you breathed out, but you knew it wasn’t what you wanted.

Carl pushed your hips back down on the bed and resurfaced again, pushing his wavy hair out of his face.  A smirk formed on his lips again as his eyes glanced between your shaking thighs and your awe struck face.  “You really want me to stop?”

Without another word, you pushed his head back down, caving into the feeling that was taking over your body.  “Don’t stop,” you demanded, contradicting your previous statement and tangling your fingers into his messy hair.

Carl immediately began to move his fingers inside of you again, his lips moving around your clit as he began to suck and swirl his tongue around at the same time.  Your moans got louder, causing Carl to increase the speed of his fingers.  His tongue was now gliding up and down your clit, increasing the pressure each time he made it to the top.

That was all it took.  Your hips ground against his face and you tugged on his hair, your eyes closing tightly as you climaxed and came against his tongue.  

As the world spun around you, you felt Carl climb back up and take his spot beside you, propping himself up on his elbow.  While you recovered, you could feel him staring at you, his eyes filled with nothing but admiration.

When you were finally able to catch your breath, you rolled over onto your side to face him and raised an eyebrow at him, grinning.  “Wow.”

“Sorry I didn’t wait to ask for your permission, but you were kind of moaning my name in your sleep beforehand, so I saw it as the perfect opportunity,” he said with a chuckle.  After a moment, the smile fell from his lips and he rolled onto his back. He cleared his throat and bit down on his swollen lower lip.  “And, uh, I don’t know if it was just me, but something felt different between us yesterday and, um, yeah… Kind felt like all those repressed feelings finally started coming up or something… I don’t know.”

Shaking your head, you moved closer to the embarrassed boy, cuddling into his side.  “It wasn’t just you.”

A small smile formed on Carl’s lips before it transformed into a smirk.  “You know, I once read that in order to have an orgasm, you need to be physically attracted to the other person.”

Rolling your eyes, you pushed Carl onto his back and climbed on top of him, straddling his waist.  “Yes, I’m attracted to you.  I guess everyone was always right whenever they said that we couldn’t just be friends,” you confessed, raising an eyebrow at him as a bulge began to form through his pants.  “And I’m guessing the feeling is mutual.”

Carl’s cheeks darkened a bit, but the smirk remained on his lips.  “You’re right.  I don’t go down on just anyone… Recently, at least.”

“How could I ever repay you?” you flirted, leaning down and resting your forehead against his.  You could tell you had the upper hand for once from the way he swallowed the lump in his throat and stared at you with wide eyes.  “Remember that confession you shared with me yesterday?”

Carl furrowed his brow and gave you a questioning look. “The one where I shamefully told you I’ve never had sex?  Yeah, what about it?”  God was he slow sometimes.

Brushing your nose against his, you wrapped your arms around his neck.  “How would you feel about changing that?”

That was all it took for it to click in his head.  His eyes widened for a moment before he grabbed your hips and flipped you over so he was on top.  He flashed you a smirk before brushing his lips against yours.  

“I guess maybe we’ll be able to call it even then.”


———-


Once again, I’m new to the game on here so please let me know if you enjoy! xx

Venezuela and the cash problem

Alright, as promised, I’m going to talk about the current cash problem.

As you may or may not know, Venezuela currently has one of the worst inflation rates in the world, right now at 536% from January till today, in other words, over 50% MONTHLY inflation, which effectively means one’s salary loses half of its value by the end of the month. 

So, disregarding the terrible burden this creates on society, as otherwise it would only make this post more depressing and long that its about to become, a growing problem is just how much cash you need to pay for stuff, like, for example, a carton of 24 eggs is right now 28,000 BsF, which makes each individual egg ~1,200 BsF, or 12 bills of 100 BsF, currently the most common bill on the street

So, this means you would need 280 bills to pay for a single carton of eggs.

Which, as you can imagine, has created a problem in which there isn’t enough bills around to meet demand, in other words, there’s more (inflated) value on the streets that there are bills available.

And this is assuming you get to use this one, as the second most common bill is the 50 BsF one, meaning you need twice as many to buy said eggs.

There are other, even minor bills of course, but they hold so little value, and are such a bitch to transport, count, store and use, that nowadays people refuse to use them, going so far as to tell bank tellers to fuck off when given while they try to withdraw their money (but more on that in a bit)

The two and five bills dying out almost two years ago.

So, the Maduro regime, acknowledging this problem far too late, decided to finally accept the hyperinflation reality, which they had refused for 2 years, and ordered the creation of new bills, effectively adding two 0′s to all existing bills as to tackle the cash scarcity problem, which by the end of last year had become endemic. 

But since this is Venezuela, these bills took way too long to arrive, having been announced around October last year (give or take, but before December), but only starting to show up en masse around a month ago, meaning that in the time it took them to show up, they lost about 10 times their value, reaching a point in which the highest available bill, the 20,000 BsF one, is not enough to buy one fucking carton of eggs.

And let me tell you, finding one of those 20,000 bills is a miracle these days, as currently the most common one is the 500 BsF bill, which, while cutting the bill load 5 times for all transactions, it nevertheless it still creates the problem of carrying around literal bricks of cash to afford even the most basic of things, with the added bonus that you’re now a target for robbers if spotted, something that had stopped happening simply because spending the bullet on a poor soul wasn’t worth it for the robber.

Now, let’s go back to the banks, as you might be wondering why they’re not helping with the cash problem, and its simple really: They don’t have it either, where you either spend 2 hours on a ATM line to withdraw 8,000 BsF, the maximum allowed in most machines (some just give you fucking 600 BsF, and its literally cheaper to wipe your ass with that than to buy toilet paper), where they never, never, give you new bills, or go into the bank, make a +3 hour line, and arrive at the teller telling you you can only withdraw 10,000 BsF as they’re running out of money, and only in 10 BsF bills, which has started quite nasty, yet ultimately peaceful, verbal fights between the bank personnel and the people in the line.

So, you still need the cash, and while you have it in the bank, after calling the mother of the teller things no suitable for even HBO, you know you can’t go back there, so what do you do? Why, you go cash hunting in business with working card terminals! (good God that’s another problem, but let’s leave it for another day) Where, if you manage to find one with available cash, all you gotta do is give them a commission of up 20% of the value you need for the transaction, which is extremely illegal mind you, but at least you can get all the cash you want, for as long as they have it.

And this is so common, there’s this weird occurrence going on where cash is far more valuable than, well, its face value, so much so you get preference in all business if you announce you intend to buy in cash rather than card (when the option is available that is, good God you guys have no idea how bad the terminal problem is), and can even get a discount, an extreme rarity in these hyperinflated days.

Oh, and since people are assholes regardless of country, some have begun to hoard cash just to sell it at atrocious commission rates (I’ve heard of 40% for wads of 20,000 bills), which is only making the problem, constantly increasing thank to the hyperinflation, worse.

Heh, the problem is so chronic, some people are now using green, free and american fucking dollars, for everyday big transactions, to the point used cars, houses, land, industrial tools and even some car spares now only sell in dollars, something made illegal by the old Chavez regime some 20 years ago, but that people no longer give a fuck about, as even high-ranking government officials are doing the same.

So, there you have it, this is how all of us deal with cash nowadays: As a precios commodity only to be used in the most extreme of circumstances, like bus fares or police bribing, basically the things that won’t take card nor online bank transfers.   

3

Title: Arguments & Ice Cream

Summary
Tom and Y/N are arguing a lot since he doesn’t have enough time for her. Therfore she spends more and more time with Harrison, much to Tom’s dislike.

Words: ~ 1800

Mentions of Sex

×××

I sat on the couch zapping through the channels and letting out a sigh. Grabbing the TV paper, I let myself fall back against the backrest before checking the program. “Tom?”, I called out for my boyfriend but I got no response. “Tom, which movie do you want to watch tonight?”

Still getting no response, I stood up and entered our bedroom. “Tom, where are you?”, my voice was loud, probably loud enough for our neighbours to hear.
“I’m here, darling!”, I heard his voice and turned around, heading for the bathroom. His head popped out of the door frame, his eyes curiously looking at me.

“What’s the matter?”, he wanted to know before I entered the bathroom. And then came the moment I realised he wasn’t wearing a shirt.
There was a moment of silence and a grin on his face while my eyes swiftly gazed over his abs-covered abdomen and I leaned against the door frame.
“Um, I just… eh, I wanted to know which movie we’re going to watch tonight?”, I asked him before my eyes nervously met his. I hated it when I got flustered around him. It’s just that I didn’t expect him to be shirtless!

“I told you I can’t tonight.”, the brunet boy sighed, the smile vanishing from his face.
“What? But it’s movie night…”, I pouted, knowing that he couldn’t resist my puppy face. “I know, I know…”, he breathed, his gaze going to the ground.
“And you didn’t tell me.”, I grumbled before I crossed my arms in front of my chest.
“Yes, I did! I got this thing tonight. It’s nothing big but…”, he began before I finished his sentence with an annoyed tone in my voice, “more important than movie night. I get it.”

I lightly pushed myself from the door frame, ready to think about another lonely evening but Tom stood in front of me, grabbing my wrists and placing my hands on his sides before wrapping his arms around me.
The look in his brown eyes was as soft as his hot skin and a few strands fell on his forehead before he spoke up, “I’m gonna take a shower. And I think you should join me.”
An annoyed scoff escaped my lips before his lips collided with mine in a passionate kiss which I couldn’t help but return. I was mad at him! But resisting him was simply impossible…
His lips quickly wandered to my neck, sucking on the sensitive skin and my face blushed while my body slowly melted into his form.
“It has been weeks…”, he whispered softly, his lips brushing over my ear while his hands caressed my hips. Yeah, somehow we didn’t have a lot of time for that since he’d been busy all the time.

With his teeth grazing over my skin and his hips pressed against mine it was incredibly hard not to moan but I managed to push him away from me slowly, my body instantly aching for his touch. “Tom, you should get ready for your thing.”, I mumbled, noticing disappointment in his eyes.
“Did you just air quote me?”, he scoffed after he completely let go of me, his eyebrows narrowing. “Yeah, I did.”, I shrugged before I headed towards the bedroom. “Whatever…”, I heard him say under his breath, making my mood fall even more.

Laying down on my side of the bed and grabbing the book I was currently reading, I let out I sigh I didn’t know I was holding.
I only heard that Tom was showering but decided to ignore the guilty feeling inside my chest. It wasn’t his fault that he was away so much… but I was so mad in that moment.
Quickly getting lost in the lines of my book, time went by pretty fast and soon my half naked boyfriend entered the room without looking at me and stood in front of the closet.

I glanced over my book, our eyes meeting through the mirror and I quickly turned my attention back to my pages.
But I had to look again, watching his shoulder blades getting covered by a white shirt and his legs by dark pants before he put on a matching jacket. Watching him putting on clothes was at least as entertaining as watching him taking them off.

He hesitated when he wanted to choose a tie, which was always my thing to do. Suddenly he stood in front of the mirror wrapping his tie around his neck and pretty soon I realised that it was my favourite, black tie with the light stripes.
Our eyes met again and I looked at my book again, acting as if nothing had happened.

The tension between us was raising with every second that passed.
“Do you expect me to stay or why are you giving me the silent treatment?”, he suddenly said, turning around to face me.
“I just can’t believe you leave me again. It’s movie night!”, I exclaimed, smashing my book on the nightstand before standing up, “And it’s not the first time you do this. I’m just pissed off that I’m always looking forward to be with you and then you ditch me.”
“I’m not ditching you!”, he objected, his fingers running through his hair, “They want me to be there, so I am there. Y/N, it’s my job. That’s what I do!”
“Yeah, but you just told me that you can’t tonight. You could’ve told me a couple of days ago!”, I grumbled, crossing my arms in front my chest.

“I told you on Wednesday!”
“No, you didn’t!”
“Yes, I did!”
“NO, YOU DIDN’T!”

A frustrated groan escaped his lips before he turned around and left our bedroom. I followed him, ready to continue our argument but he went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I let myself fall onto the couch, taking a deep breath. We had been arguing a lot lately. And I just wanted things to be easy again…

I was too busy staring at the plant next to the TV that I didn’t notice Tom approaching me from behind. “I’m going to go, now.”, he stated before touching my shoulder lightly.
And it hurt. Not physically but mentally… knowing that he was leaving me again.
“Yeah, have fun without me.”, I mumbled without even looking at him. I heard him sigh. Then he mumbled something under his breath. Then the front door slammed into the frame.

He was gone.
Curling myself into a fetus position, I pulled a blanket over me. The following thirty minutes were filled with self loathing thoughts and there might have been a few tears.

But after I had calmed myself down, I grabbed my phone and called Harrison.

“Hey, Y/N! What’s up?”, he greeted me happily, immediately answering his phone.
“Hey, Haz… Can you come over?”, I ask, a quiet sniff being audible.
“Yeah, sure! Are you… okay?”, he wanted to know and I shrugged before I realised that he couldn’t see me.
“I’m… it’s just… Tom ditched movie night.”, I replied sadly.
“Again?!”, he mumbled, probably shaking his head.
“Yes, again…He said he had, I quote, a thing tonight… and now I’m bored.”, I explained quietly.
“Okay, I’m on my way.”, he responded and hung up quickly.

Too many minutes later the door bell finally rang and I literally sprinted towards the door but opened it relatively slowly.
“Finally!”, I exclaimed after I saw Harrison smiling at me. “I bought ice cream since you sounded like you could need it.”, he laughed, holding up two cups of Ben & Jerry’s.

“You’re the best!”, I grinned, pulling him into the flat before rushing off into the kitchen to get spoons.
After I went back to the living room I saw that Harrison had placed the cups on the table. “So you wanna talk about it?”, he asked carefully, his eyes looking at me softly.
“No, let’s just watch a movie.”

But half an hour into the movie later, Harrison paused it after I had started telling him about what had happened today. I couldn’t keep all this in. I literally exploded, rambling and rambling.

“And then I said ‘Have fun without me’ and he just left! I mean, why?”, I sighed, taking another spoon of my ice cream, “It’s just… he always hugs me and kisses my cheek before he leaves.”
With my feet laying on his tighs, he drawed circles with his thumb on my shank while I mentally thanked myself for shaving my legs this morning.

Harrison looked at me, sympathy in his eyes and took a deep before he spoke up, “But you have to see it from his perspective, too, you know. You were mad at him… of course he didn’t hug and kiss you. He probably thought that you just wanted him to leave.”
“Yeah, you’re right…”, I mumbled, pinching the bridge of my nose, “I’m a horrible girlfriend.”
“Hey, I didn’t say that! You’ve been dating for three years now and Tom’s still talking about how perfect you are.”, he claimed, his head tilting towards his shoulder while he looked at me.

I smiled to myself briefly, thinking about Tom saying those words to Harrison. “Yeah, but I’m so selfish and always whiny…”, I drifted off, watching my fingers playing with the hem of my shirt, “And we’ve been arguing a lot lately. Usually we only have these slight variances. And now…”, I sighed deeply before I looked at Harrison again, whose head rested lazily against the pillow tugged between his head and the backrest, listening attentively.
After a few moments of silence I realised that he didn’t know what to say, so I continued, “And we haven’t had sex for 5 weeks now. That’s like… a new record or something.”

Harrison laughed loudly, shaking his head slightly at my open statement.
“But I thought he wanted you to join him in the shower today?”, his eyebrows narrowed while a cheeky smile was on his face and I only shrugged.

“Yeah, but the times before he was either too tired or something. I’m probably so bad…”, I mumbled quietly, lowering my head before a question popped up in my mind and I looked at Harrison with raised eyebrows. “Did he say anything to you?”

Harrison shifted uncomfortably on his seat, stumbling over some incomprehensible words.

×××

Part 2

》《 Masterlist 》《

×××

All Posts:
@imnothavingkids

Tom Holland Taglist:
@kint-sugi @bringmetomnow

Call It Suicide

A/N: Well, it’s been a full month since my last fic that I posted and I felt like it was time for a new one. Another Harry Styles fic because he’s such a legend and I love him so deal with it. This took me a good few days to finally finish, hence why it’s legit the longest thing I’ve ever written, because I wanted to get this really good because I literally write my fics in one night normally so enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it x.

Based on: ‘Suicide’ by James Arthur

Dedicated to: @twerkit-hxrry, and TheHSquad: @17-blackaf, @harryxmac, @snlhaz, @spectralstyles, @wishfulharrie, @stylishmuser, @hes-writings94, @the2k17harry, @roseonhissleeve, @hs-1dfan, @soloharrles, @mizpahes, @hcrrystyles, @hes-a-rainbow, @lovingstyles87, @namelesspops, @gemmadorrego, @ever-since-kiwi, @harry-writings, @harrywavycurly, @harryslittlekiwis, @hotmessharry

Warning(s): Cheater!Harry, sad themes, swearing, a section of smut with very minimal Daddy kink

Word count: 8,005

Pairing(s): Harry Styles x Reader / Harry Styles x OC (Original Character)



It ain’t the gun,
It’s the man behind the trigger.
Gets blood on his fingers and runs.
It ain’t the lie,
It’s the way that the truth is denied.


Four years.

A relationship that had withstood all trying odds thrown at it, time and time again. A relationship that, from the outside, never once seemed anything short of miraculous. Four years of that relationship had been a blessing and to her, nothing and no one could ever give her the satisfaction nor sensation of pure love and dedication, she feared she may never find something quite like it again.

It’s funny how certain situations arise, that are unexpected in the worst way possible, which make the mere thought of carrying on with the toxicity of a failed relationship unbearable.

It had taken a whole three months for her to coax a confession out of her tattooed lover which, during that time, almost made her physically ill to think about him, not only being sexually (but possibly also romantically) inclined with another woman, but lying so blatantly to her face about the multiple occasions he had, ‘ran out to get some deodorant’, during the dead of night, only to come back to their shared home in the morning with a different type of exuberant smell catching in the air from his body and clothing.

When confronted about this, however, the long-legged man stood in front of her, but yet, no eye-contact was maintained, and shook his head, pushing past the fragile woman he claimed to love for an extended period of time before slamming the heavy, mahogany bedroom door, muttering incoherent sentences on his way that normally consisted of, “Gettin’ on my fuckin’ last nerve”, and, “I ‘ave half the mind t’ leave you right fuckin’ now”.

Of course, it was when the luminous moonlight danced across the wooden floorboards of the bedroom, illuminating the whitewashed walls as if it was their own private, personal stage where they could showcase their undying love for one another, or so she once thought.

It was when the early hour of 3am came creeping around the corner with only the sounds of the wind whistling and the leaves whispering to keep her company as she laid in an empty, king-sized, luxurious bed that was meant to be a symbol of their companionship.

It was when she felt the all-too-familiar feeling of abandonment and loneliness twist inside her gut as fresh, hot tears sprung to her eyes and trickled down to her ears whilst unmoving and staring at the intricate detail of the high ceiling. She had been doing this for so many nights she was near confident that she could recite how many swirls and dots collected in the design from her counting.

Of course, it was then that she understood that she was no longer the apple of his eye. That he had escaped from her hold and found refuge in someone else’s arms. Someone else’s kiss. Someone else’s touch.

He would never admit this though, no, he would much rather sneak back into his own home where his significant other would lay, pretending to be asleep through her dry, tear-stained cheeks, rolled over to her side of the bed with him removing his clothes to slide skilfully underneath the untouched covers on his end, like he had been used to trying to not disturb her, before pressing a chaste kiss to her neck and whisper those three words that held no real regard.

He didn’t mean it.

Not since he started smelling like a perfume she could not recognise.

Every morning, a smell of fresh coffee and breakfast foods invaded his privacy that would jolt him awake, noticing his lady of four years had already made her side of the bed and left him a note in her cursive handwriting, that he used to adore, as she did routinely since they moved in together.

And every morning he would stalk downstairs to find her cooking for the both of them out of the kindness of her broken heart despite knowing about his infidelity and unfaithfulness before he wrapped his strong, manly arms around her trembling waist as sobs racked through her entire being.

Although, these said tears were soothed almost instantly as she felt the dry lips of the man she loved along her jawline and neck, peppering gentle kisses to her skin. She knew she shouldn’t be so easily swayed when he hadn’t even muttered a single word to her but she couldn’t control her feelings; feelings of anger and despair quickly dissolving into ones of adoration and desperation towards the figure looming over her.

A shaky hand was raised to caress his prickly, stubbly cheek as she closed her eyes and enjoyed one of the rare moments of intimacy the couple shared nowadays, willing herself not to shed any more saltwater from the seas swirling in her eyes.

A waft of the faint smell of cinnamon and honey contrasted with her regular scent of vanilla and fruits that brung her out of her Harry-induced daze, making her pull away from the man she could no longer trust.

“Don’t walk away from me. Please. No’ today.” He pleaded, she almost could have believed he was being genuine if it weren’t for the black lace thong she’d discovered discreetly hidden inside his trouser pocket whilst doing the laundry last Sunday. He knew this, yet he still didn’t bother to hide the piece of evidence elsewhere. It was almost as if he had wanted her to feel her heart drop to her stomach.

“Harry, by my walking away, it gives you the leverage you need t’ turn in the opposite direction and in'a her bed.” She spoke in rebuttal under her breath; hoping her words wouldn’t travel far enough and stop short before they could reach his ears; in a way, recreating how whenever she gave him her all, it never seemed to find its destination within him and instead go off-track.

Perhaps that was the reason why her love wasn’t reciprocated.

“Wha’ did you jus’ say t’ me?” The sound of heavy footsteps coming back round the large, marble countertop placed in the middle of the spacious kitchen to her after grabbing a snack from the cabinet, not only made her anxious but also incredibly uncomfortable as she never wanted to carry such negative conversations with the center of her affection, knowing that he would deny all the objectives she would present to him, similar to how he had before.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, baby.” She forced a fake smile onto her face, an expression she had grown accustomed to whenever she looked too deep into his pools of jade he called, ‘eyes’, digging out information she never thought she would have to read. She turned her body around to crash against his chiselled chest, trapping her between the oven and his own furnace, his body giving out warmth she used to find comfort in. “I didn’t say anything important, I promise, now gimme a kiss.”

Seemingly satisfied with the answer he was provided with, he leant in to press his lips hard against hers and rested his palms on her hips.

Undoubtedly, it was one of the most difficult things she had ever had to do. To kiss him as if her heart wasn’t crumbling like the walls around her; suffocating her, was too much to bare as she finally pushed him away and wiped her lips with the back of her hand.

“How dare you stand here and kiss me with tainted lips you’ve put on another girl. How dare you stand here and pretend you’re committed t’ us. And how dare you stand here and make me a fool for loving you when you go out and make love t’ that woman you found at a dingy, dark nightclub one lonely winter’s night.” The streams of emotions flowed down her red, puffy cheeks as she expressed her discontent and disappointment from within.

It had been a long time coming and she knew she couldn’t hold it in any longer. Not when he made no effort to admit to his wrongdoings, but instead gave her false hope towards a relationship that was barely alive.

His arms tried to reach out towards his beautiful explosion but she couldn’t stand to look at him for longer than she had already endured and backed away from his softening stare.

He couldn’t continue his façade, not anymore.

“No, sweetheart, please…” He began to somehow explain months of late nights and cold shoulders, but she had heard and lived through everything she needed to in order to make her final decision as she knuckled away her falling tears and practically sprinted to the bedroom to collect her belongings. “It jus’ happened! It was out of my control, baby, you have t’ believe me!”

She had to leave.

No more could she sit there and act as if they were the couple they used to be in the beginning. No more could she sit there and act as if he was the man she fell in love with.

The door clicked shut just as she zipped up her suitcase, signalling he’d now entered the room that was once filled with the purity of their love. The moment he slept next to her curled up body in the middle of the Stygian night after he spent his evening in a stranger’s bed, the barrier was broken and was replaced by one of deception and distrust.

His feet padded furiously against the pristine, fluffed rug situated at the center of the space before slamming his hand on top of the lid of the luggage in an attempt to keep the woman he genuinely loved deep down from leaving him.

“Harry. Get your hand off.” She threatened with a calm, gentle voice which she never used unless she was livid behind her cool, collected nature.

“Listen t’ me. I didn’t mean for this t’ happen, I didn’t mean t’ lie t’ y-…” He, again, was cut off by her forcefully lugging her property out from under his grasp and onto the floor with a loud ‘bang’.

“It wasn’t the lie! It was never the lie! I’ve known for months, Harry. ’S the way you denied the truth every single time I asked you about it! And if you’re implying that that’s the worst of it, I don’t even wanna think about the things you’ve done t’ her and vice versa.” She stayed glaring straight into his watery irises for a few seconds before spinning on her heel and walking out, deserting a broken man with his broken heart gazing at the now wide-open entrance with traces of her vanilla scent lingering but her nowhere to be found.


You’ve been killing softly and finally,
That is too much. (Oh)
And I’m all out of whiskey,
To soak up the damage you’ve done. (Oh)


         You would think drowning her sorrows in her tears and heartbreak would’ve been enough to express her emotions but no. She had managed to find herself amongst sweaty, filthy bodies in a large bar from which she had drunk her fifth glass of strong alcohol, she could barely see straight.

With the toxic fluids coursing through her veins, the pumping bass of the latest chart-topper beating her heart for her, and conversations of the blurred people around her resounding in her psyche, she had had enough.

Hard to believe, but it was a rare occurrence that she would even bother to dress herself up and emerge from her temporary abode, with her estranged high school friend she had recently been in contact with, to appear at the local bar she used to go to with Harry whenever they wanted to get away.

It used to be a sort of sanctuary for the two of them. It used to be a chance to just talk about their day and their feelings to each other without anyone else prying into their business. But now it was, and would forever be, “the place where he met her”.

“The place where he inadvertently broke the bond between lovers which he vowed to never do”.

Yet still, there she was.

Sitting alone on a high stool, gripping the side of her glass so tightly that the beads of condensation evaporated under the red heat of her fingers and inner turmoil.

She had just been staring at the wine glasses hanging down from the ceiling, like bats in a cave, whilst downing her beverage in record speed which allowed her to move swiftly onto her next drink. Even the bartender had started to get conscious of her intake and that was enough for him to then refuse to supply another source of liquor.

Her newly rekindled friendship with her high school classmate had been put to the test that evening and unfortunately, by her having no one she knew around in her presence, let her know that she need not care for the whereabouts of her friend as they didn’t care for hers after the second round of alcohol.

The sudden deprivation of a stinging solution making its way down her throat since she had been scolded like a child for the excessiveness of her drinking, made her mind wander into the fields of betrayal that replaced the meadows of happiness she used to frolic in with the man she used to think she would one day marry.

As soon as her gaze fixated on the empty glass in front of her, the saline tears poured over the barrier of her waterline and left her silently sobbing through her harrowing heartbreak.

Dying from a broken heart was something she had only read about in the news and never once believed it to ring true but as she sat there, in Harry and her bar, she could practically feel her chest contracting and splitting into two halves. Although, she didn’t really understand how considering he still had her heart in the palm of his hands and desperate for his love.

The mere sight of a grown woman openly, and drunkenly, weeping must’ve been hard for surrounding strangers to handle since by the time she had ceased her muffled cries to soft sniffles and looked up with bloodshot, sore eyes - most of the partygoers she had mixed in with had departed and left only her and a few stragglers behind with a busied bartender wiping down spilt beverages with a cloth.

The palms of her hands were raised to her reddened face and rubbed over her features to try and soothe her outburst of feelings as a heavy sigh was blown out from her pale lips in response to the heavyweight she felt in her chest.

Heels clicked on the floor of the building as she dug into her purse to find flimsy pieces of paper that represented a form of payment she could offer the man behind the counter for the alcohol she had consumed.

“On the ‘ouse.” A clear, but deep voice sounded from in front of her as her glass was collected, “Yeh look like yeh had a bad one so don’t worry 'bout it.”

Her hard and focused stare switched from her trying to find her money in her purse to kind, pitiful, sapphire eyes as she faced the generous bartender.

“Noo. No, I can’t jus’ no’ payy yew. ’Ve 'ad like nine'een drinkss-..” Her slurred speech in between her not-so-subtle sniffs and hiccups made the stranger chuckle and she watched how his shoulders moved, fascinated by the way they were connected to his body that she felt the need to touch hers to confirm her suspicions that yes, she had shoulders too.

“Don’t mention it, love, I’ll call you a taxi.” He informed the unsteady woman the other side of the counter before picking up his phone and dialling a number he knew off by heart from the amount of times he had to ring because of previous passed out customers.

Love.

A completely innocent and everyday nickname she had been called before by many people, but this particular time made her legs shake and her lip quiver as she fought to hold back more streams of sadness.

Harry used to call her, “love”.

Harry used to show her love.

And Harry used to give her love.

But that was all gone.

All of it wasted and bestowed onto the other woman in her relationship.

She supposed it was a good thing that he had decided to take that route. She supposed it was a good thing that he made it clear she wasn’t enough. That she wasn’t what he wanted. That way she could confidently move on and find another to treat her right.

But her heart wouldn’t allow it.

Her heart remained in the familiar hands of her puppeteer and continued to make his own lovesick puppet out of her. Why? She may never understand. She only knew that he had a fatal hold on her; squeezing ever so softly but growing tighter with each and every day that passed by, that she feared she might have wound up helpless and perishing in his addicting arms.

He had been killing her softly, albeit unknowingly, but she had finally decided it was too much and escaped his grasp physically.

His emotional duress on her, however, was a different story altogether which she thoroughly believed she would never be able to evade.



If there is one thing that I’m guilty of,
It’s loving and giving when you take too much.

//•//
If there’s anything I’m guilty of,
It’s loving you too much.


         “Harry, stop!” The exclamation was followed by a giggle as she extended her hands out to cover the lens of the new, vintage camera she had purchased especially for him on their third year anniversary as a strong, steady couple.

“You’re jus’ the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen, darlin’, I 'ave t’ take photos t’ capture your beauty.” He exaggerated and winked when he switched his eyes to stare at her smiling face rather than through the viewfinder.

“Ew, you’re such a dork.” A pillow was lugged at his head which, as a result, made his curls fly out in every direction possible, him then looking like a human version of Simba. “You look the most attractive you’ve ever looked right now, baby.” A snort came from her button nose as she reached for the device in his hands, turning it on him and clicking the shutter multiple times at different angles.

“And you just sounded the most attractive you’ve ever sounded.” He spoke in rebuttal before shaking his hair out of his face and tamed it slightly.

A playful pout was brought upon her lips as a sign of her disappointment that her masterpiece was ruined but she continued to shoot amateur pictures of the stunning man with legs either side of her hips since she would never tire of looking at his perfectly structured face and features that were God’s gift.

“Oi, ’m s'posed t’ be taking pictures of you, my love.” His hands found their way to his hips and she figured that, in that moment, he had never looked more adorable so the shutter sounded once more to signal that she’d documented the sight on the roll of film in the camera. “’M gonna need yeh t’ stop before I get rowdy.”

“Rowdy?” A loud guffaw sounded as she lowered the camera down to her lap and just merely glanced up at the mess of curls on top of her in disbelief and fond. “I’d like t’ see you try t’ get 'rowdy’, honey, you’re the most calm and collected person I know.”

As soon as she placed the photographic equipment to one side, her arms were pinned above her head by a strong force coming from her short-haired lover and before she knew it, she could feel his fringe tickling her forehead since he leant forwards and hovered over her.

“I can be rowdy when I wan’ to, yeh know that more than anybody, pet.” He lowered his voice down at least one octave as he spoke, a glint of mischief in his sparkling eyes.

“Mm…” She pretended to think as a borderline seductive hum sounded from her throat. “I have no idea wha’ you’re talkin’ about, H.” A shake of her head only further exaggerated her point as she tried to prove her unknowingness and innocence.

A low, breathy chuckle resounded from deep in his chest, seemingly-always-minty breath fanning over her face gently, before he pressed a loving peck to her plump lips.

It was intimate moments like these where she felt she had never been more content, nor could she probably ever be more content without him.

It was intimate moments like these where she felt almost certain that there would never be another man more catered to her soul as he was and she intended on keeping him forever.

“‘M gonna love you ‘til the day I die.” The soft whisper coming from his lips transferred onto hers and she could feel tingles rush throughout her body. “Ev’ry day I spend with you jus’ gets better and better, I don’t know wha’ you’re doin’ t’ me.”

A caressing touch was brought to his cheeks as she pulled his face up to stare into his emerald eyes. She never got tired of looking into the windows of his soul - she thought as if they held information about himself that was only revealed if someone was to gaze intently into them.

“And ev’ry day I spend with you, makes me wan’ t’ never live another day without yeh, you’re my world.” A grin started to grow on his features but she carried on before he had the chance to reply, fearing that if she didn’t tell him what she had wanted to for so long, she might never get the opportunity, nor courage, to again. “You, Harry Edward Styles, are the reason tha’ ev’ry morning when I lie in bed next t’ you, I wan’ t’ scream at how much I adore watching you yawn and stretch when yeh make that little noise to shake the tiredness off. You are the reason tha’ ev’ry night when we take a shower together, I wan’ t’ kiss yeh until our lungs give out because I don’t ever wan’ t’ stop. You are the reason tha’ ev’ry time when I see yeh performing, I wan’ t’ jus’ run up on stage with you and show ev’rybody there that you’re mine and how proud I am of you. Words will never be able to describe how much I’m smitten with you, Harry, you’re the most amazing guy ‘ve ever met and I’ll be damned ‘f I see another chick on your arm.” She had to pause momentarily as she felt a familiar touch wiping away a stray tear that had trickled down her cheek in the heat of her emotions before nervously laughing and continuing to finish her mini-speech. “I love you. I love you so fuckin’ much, I don’t think you’ll understand.”

The only response that was mustered from the tanned man was a shake of the head in disbelief at the meaningful moment that she had just shared with him, he felt a slight twinge in his stomach he couldn’t identify before placing his elbows either side of her head, careful not to rest on her sprawled out hair, and, once more, pressing his raspberry lips against hers in a passionate seal of affection.

He shifted his weight onto his forearms in order to place himself in between her bent legs without breaking their kiss and let out a quiet groan of satisfaction against her mouth. Her hands reached up to tangle in his cut curls, tugging on them lightly just as a teaser. He ended up cupping her behind as he pulled away from her soft lips to flip their bodies over to allow for him to be the one on his back and situated his woman on top of his hips, squeezing hers temporarily as an indication to keep kissing him.

And when has she ever refused him?

A small smile appeared on her face before dropping her top half down onto his chest and reconnecting their pairs of lips. Hands pressed to his firm chest as legs straddled his frame before trailing her fingers gently down to the hem of his shirt.

“Take it off, baby.” A breathless plea was heard from the man underneath her which gave her the boost of confidence she felt she needed which encouraged her to remove the first item of clothing from his toned body and she couldn’t help but run her hands up and down his beautiful torso. “Now le’ me see you.”

She raised her own top over her head herself and threw it somewhere unknown, just as she did his t-shirt, and revelled in his reaction to her reveal, noting the way he trailed his eyes up her exposed chest and bit his lip. “Look a’ you. My gorgeous girl.”

She felt the rose colour blush onto her cheeks, she thought she would’ve been better off as a traffic light, before she looked down to try and hide the obvious effect he had on her but was stopped by his forefinger lifting up her chin and guiding the other hand to the clasp of her lace bra, unclipping it expertly with a single movement, and looking at her intense eyes. “I never wan’ you t’ feel like you have to hide around me.” The straps fell down her shoulders as soon as she relaxed her arms to remove the piece of lingerie, giving her significant other a firsthand view of her bare chest, whilst he fondled her breasts generously and massaged them. “You’re beautiful and you’re mine, I wan’ yeh t’ believe it.”

Her head tilted backwards at the sensation of him having her cupped in his hands and lovingly playing with her as she felt a tweak on her left nipple and a wet tongue flick on her right. A short intake of air gasped from her throat in surprise at the sudden attention but she wasn’t complaining.

To show her gratitude, she found that her hips started to grind down on him - both their clothed crotches rubbing against one another, making them both let out a soft sound of appreciation.

“Wanna taste you…” She chirped after she had plucked up the courage to tell him while his mouth was still on her, alternating between each nipple.

“’M not stopping yeh, baby.” He spoke in reply as he detached himself from her boobs, giving them playful, but gentle, little smacks, and watched them jiggle slightly to his amusement.

By him taking it upon himself to lay back down, she took it as a sign to hop off him momentarily and hook her thumbs inside the matching lace material of her panties (she hadn’t bothered to put on bottoms - she liked wearing his shirts) before swaying her hips side-to-side. She liked to give him his own private show every once in awhile to watch him grow harder within the constraints of his jeans as he watched her.

Some could say she had a slight kink for exhibiting herself for him and she felt proud that he liked what he saw every time, enough to show off that cheeky smirk of his that she loved so much and bite his lip.

She successfully managed to drop the skimpy thong to the floor and stepped out of it, rendering her completely naked, whilst she crawled back onto the bed and in between his spread legs.

Her hand flew straight the the button of his skin-tight, charcoal jeans and pulling down the zip slowly, flicking her eyes up to see his face that construed his impatience. A light titter came from her lips as she begun to pull the waistband of the item of clothing down his legs and off his body teasingly, planting pecks down his thighs and legs in the process but intentionally avoiding where he needed her most. “God, sweetheart, please.” He started to beg, he couldn’t wait anymore. He felt painfully hard already and she wasn’t doing anything to relieve it - just make it worse.

“Oh, ‘m sorry, honey, I didn’t realise you wanted me so bad.” She feigned innocence with a pout of her bottom lip before she grinned mischievously and palmed him through his boxers.

The sudden attention to his most sensitive area made him rut his hips forward onto her hand with a half-arsed apology mumbled from him before a low groan erupted, interrupted by her reaching up and connecting her lips to his in a kiss as she continued to work him through the thin material.

As she felt a wet patch forming due to the pre-cum leaking from his tip, she concluded that there had been enough teasing so she pulled herself away from his luscious lips as his boxers followed suit with his jeans and were tossed aimlessly somewhere in the room.

Standing to attention, the red, aching head of his dick looked too enticing for her to ignore as she started to give him kisses and kitten licks. A small growl of approval from him gave her the confirmation she needed to then flatten her tongue against the underside of him and lick a stripe along him until she reached the tip, swirling her tongue around it like a lollipop.

A shiver was sent through his body as he looked down at his lover and gripped her hair in his fist. He watched her lips wrap around his, he must admit, larger-than-average size and take as much as she could fit in her mouth before she began to suck.

A strangled cry came from him as she unexpectedly opened up her throat and attempted to take all of him. As soon as her nose touched his trimmed hairs, he let out a yelp of pleasure since he felt himself at the back of her throat before she gagged, making the muscles clench around him which made it feel even more pleasurable.

“Shit, you take my cock so good.” That sentence alone was enough to make her feel on top of the world as she pulled off to catch her breath for a second, a string of spit still connecting her to him as he reached down to swipe it up with his fingers and proceeded to press them to her mouth, making her open up and taste him.

“You taste amazing.” She praised him back, knowing that it’ll give him the confidence boost he needed to really fuck her into the mattress soon.

After her regular breathing was regained, she, once again, dived back onto his pulsing manhood and begun to hollow out her cheeks around him whilst working her tongue around his girth but making sure no teeth were present as she bobbed.

Constant affirmations of pleasure tumbling from his bitten lips only made her move faster before she raised one hand to what she couldn’t fit in and expertly moved it in sync with her mouth.

“Fuck, if yeh keep goin’ like tha’, baby, ‘m gonna cum.” The warning was enough to convince her to pull off of him with a ‘pop’ and sit back onto her knees, looking down at him with a virtuous look on her face but with spit dripping down her chin. “You look sinful, yeh fuckin’ tease.”

She had to bite her lip to hide a subtle smirk and she kissed up his torso before sitting back on his hips, making sure to be just in front of his length so he could rest on her arse as she bent down to give him a passionate, open-mouthed kiss.

His large hands roamed her back as he reciprocated the kiss by pushing his tongue in, meeting hers. An enticing hum was let out as she circled her hips gently, rubbing up against his already throbbing cock. He pulled away only to duck down and start to press his mouth against her neck, beginning to suck bruises into her skin to mark her as his to everyone that looked.

Her tease only further continued as she heard him groan in desperation when she rubbed against a particularly sensitive spot before he decided he couldn’t take it anymore and threw her down onto the bouncy bed as he held himself up with his hands, adjusting to be perfectly slotted in between her legs that locked together around his torso as she ran her fingers through his hair that fell down.

“Harry?…” She spoke up in a soft voice and he could feel her breath on his face by how close they were.

“Mhm?” He reached down to position himself against her clit and began to jut his hips forward and back eliciting a high-pitched squeal.

“F-Fuck me.” She had the wind knocked out of her as soon as he entered her before she could finish her request.

Both parties let out loud moans as they both felt each other in the most intimate way possible. He let her adjust to his size impatiently since it took all of him to not move inside of her. The warm, wet walls of her womanhood drove him crazy and he swore he nearly came undone already when she clenched around him.

“You ready, honey?” He asked shakily, he just wanted to feel every inch of her.

A timid nod came from her a few seconds later signalling her consent and he wasted no time in dragging himself out until just the tip was engulfed before plunging back into her tight hole, encouraging another in-sync moan.

Gradually, he picked up a regular rhythm and fastened his speed as soon as she muttered the words, “faster” and “harder”. The sound of skin slapping on skin filled the air mixed in with their combined moans and groans.

“Yeh feel so good, so deep.” She plucked up the confidence to try her hand at some dirty talk he had never heard from her before but he had to admit, he felt himself twitch at her words.

“God, you’re killin’ me.” He shivered as he picked up his pace.

“Yeah?…” She smirked as she leant up to press her wet lips against his, moaning against them. “Fuck, Harry, don’t stop.”

Every word she said stroked his ego even more and it turned him on to no extent to get praise that he was doing everything she wanted. With a few more hard thrusts, he felt the familiar twist in his stomach.

“You gonna cum for me? You gonna cum for Daddy?” The nickname just slipped from his parted lips as he breathed heavily but it didn’t go unnoticed by her, making her let out an exaggerated moan to let him know.

“Mm, Daddy’s so good t’ me.” She paused to peck his lips once more before arching her back as he brushed against that special spot. “‘M gonna cum. Want yeh t’ cum inside me.” She whispered.

Never had she been so relieved she had decided to take up the pill since she never wanted to stop feeling this level of ecstasy.

Hearing those words whispered so filthily from her cherry red mouth tipped him over the edge as he released hard, surrounded by her squeezing walls, which in turn, caused her to become sensitive and orgasm with him still deep inside of her as they both yelled each other’s names in pleasure.

The only noises that could be heard was their heavy breathing and the parting of lips as they gave each other loving pecks, trying to come down from their highs as he carefully pulled out.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened t’ me, you know?” She rolled onto her side to face the man that collapsed by her side and cuddled up to him, tracing the watch she had given him as a second Valentine’s Day present. In fact, she had the watch that matched. It came as a couple’s collection, what could she say?

“I know, baby girl. ‘N’ I love you very much.” He replied tiredly as he followed her movements on the timepiece.

“I love you too.”

         Though, how was she to know that he told her empty promises and gave her false assumptions?

The watch she had given him? He had unexpectedly dropped the bomb on her that he had supposedly ‘lost’ it one day nonchalantly, as if he didn’t really care, after coming back from one of his never ending nights out.

She still had hers.

She never took it off since she bought them both unless she showered and went to bed.

She always put it back on in the mornings even if she didn’t have plans. She just loved having the strap to remind her of their love when he wasn’t around.

However, whenever they fought, it always seemed to her that he forgot to speak with an underlying tone of adoration like she did since she could never really stay angry at him. Always pinpointing the cons of the situation they were arguing about and making her feel guilty that she even brought it up.

But ever since she packed up and walked away from his hold on her, she figured that the only thing she was genuinely guilty of, was loving him too much. Giving him too much.

She gave him everything she had to offer and during the first few years, she thought it was enough for him to believe she was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

It was only when she started to feel her grip on him slipping away from her that she knew she was his second choice. Something that she never wanted to be.


If somebody asks how we died,
Please look them straight in the eye.
Call it, “suicide”.
Don’t fabricate, just tell 'em, babe.
It was suicide.
Don’t sugarcoat it, just let them know.


         The two men stood conversing with each other as they discussed the art that was on display for the event they were invited to. They had been colleagues before; however, they had lost contact after one of them took up a new job opportunity, meeting again after a good year or so and decided to catch up.

The art gallery consisted of the most recent masterpieces from unknown artists around the globe. It was an event organised to give exposure to struggling individuals chasing their dreams and it was people like Harry and his status who were invited to review the artworks and buy them if they were impressed. All the money earnt from these purchases go back to the original artists, which in turn, correlated to more of said artists’ pieces being on display in the future.

The prices they were going for weren’t exactly the cheapest either.

“‘Ey, didn’t your girl wan’ t’ be an artist?” Obviously, the break-up hadn’t reached the likes of Harry’s newfound pal yet and it instantly wiped the smile off of his face.

“Yeah.” A remorseful chuckle was puffed out, “Yeah, she did…”

“Actually, where is she? Yeh should’ve brought her along, yeh idiot, she would’ve loved this! Las’ time I saw yeh both, you couldn’t leave each other alone.” The uninformed man stood next to him gave him a playful nudge and a wink of the eye without noticing the sudden deflation of his friend.

“She, uh… She’s not my girl anymore.” He finally confessed after swirling his drink in his cup as he was pondering whether or not to actually tell the man beside him.

“Oh, shit, H, I didn’t mean t’-…” He began to apologise for being so insensitive but was interrupted by a shake of a curly head.

“‘S all good, don’t worry ‘bout it.” His eyes cast downwards, losing the twinkle in his eyes as he tried to smile genuinely.

“If yeh don’t mind me asking, mate, wha’ happened? You seemed so happy.” A hand was placed on his shoulder roughly as a form of comfort as he sighed heavily.

“It just… Didn’t work out.” A dismissive sip of his beverage came afterwards as the guilt of brushing his four-year relationship off like it was nothing came creeping up on his conscience.

“D’yeh really expect me t’ believe that, Harry?” The questioning tone of the man that clearly didn’t believe his reason for the end of his relationship only made Harry feel even worse about his disregard and internally convinced him to elaborate.

“It was my fault.” He rubbed his hand over his face, he didn’t realise actually talking about it would affect him this much - especially in public. “I, um… God. I cheated on her.”

The recoil of the friendly hand on his shoulder signified the disappointment his friend felt towards him but kept his mouth shut, willing him to continue to explain.

“She was everything I thought I wanted, that I needed. I had no doubt that she was the woman I could spend the rest of my life with.” Harry painfully started to release his pent up feelings ever since she walked away from him the week before. “I still think she is, you know?…”

He trailed his sentence off like he was ashamed to admit his feelings. He felt as if he didn’t even deserve to mention her name, let alone keep thinking about their future together. He pulled himself together, though, he owed her character enough to explain the situation fully and not give people even the faintest idea that it was her that caused the death of their relationship.

“I ruined four years of the happiest times of my life, Nick, for nothing… It was ‘bout five or so months. It lasted for five months. It jus’ happened, I never wanted to jeopardise wha’ her and I had bu’ it was when she was away for one of her work trips.” He felt the water building up behind his eyes, ready to start falling at anytime but he had to get it out. He didn’t care if he was in public or not, it had been eating him alive not being able to talk about it with anyone. “I went t’ the bar her and I always went when we were free. We used t’ talk for hours about jus’ anything. Each other. Our days. Our families. Our future… How much we loved each other…”

He had to quieten his voice at the end otherwise he knew he would’ve burst out into ugly tears. Not like he hadn’t been doing exactly that ever since the front door closed of their shared home. Well. His home. He didn’t even think it was a ‘home’ anymore. She was the one who made it feel like a home to him and when she left, it was just a building in which he slept in every night. With all of her belongings gone after she had come to pick up the rest, catching him in his time of vulnerability when he opened the door where he hoped she would’ve been back in his arms within the hour, it was just a house. There was no warmth left within its walls; only faded memories he tried so hard to block out as he spent his nights with a skimpily-clad woman he didn’t even know the middle name of.

“I met her at that same bar and we jus’ got t’ talking. I told her how lonely I felt with the love of my life away for weeks over a few drinks I bought us. By the time she was running her hand up ‘n’ down my leg, I wasn’t in my senses and jus’ allowed her to. The first time she kissed me the same night, I couldn’t stop her even if I tried - I was so far gone. And I… I enjoyed it. It’d been so long since I actually held someone close, video calls and textin’ can only do so much, y’know? ‘Fore I knew it, I woke up the next morning in someone else’s bed and her naked body beside mine in the exact same state. All of it jus’ spiralled out of my control from there, she never stopped callin’ me for another hook up and I couldn’t bring myself to say ‘no’… I should’ve, I know I should’ve, I had a perfect life with the perfect girl but I guess, for a moment, I wanted something else. Somethin’ new.” He didn’t even attempt to hide his shame as he looked up towards the ceiling to keep the rivers that flowed in his eyes at bay.

“She didn’t even try t’ leave as soon as she found out. She told me she knew at the third month about wha’ I was doin’ and said she stayed t’ try and change my mind.” He brought a closed fist up to his mouth, refusing to break down in such a public place, and already receiving a few judgemental stares from passersby as he struggled to contain his emotions. “God, she tried t’ change my mind…” He weakly let out a breath. “She did ev’rything for me. Her attitude towards me never changed at all, she still loved me with ev’rything she had. The best girl I could’ve ever asked for was all mine and I didn’t even give her a second glance most nights when I climbed into bed with her after I came on another girl’s tits.” His sudden outburst of anger directed at himself brought unwanted attention from the few that surrounded him, earning some disapproving stares and shushes.

“Why don’t yeh call her, H? You’re in bits.” A piece of advice was given to him from Nick who stood silently throughout his whole rant. The reply to it, however, was a mocking laugh as Harry threw his head back.

“Would you forgive me if you were her?” He stared blankly at the artwork in front of him, they must’ve been stood there for 10 minutes at the least.

Once again, silence was the dumbfounded man’s only response to his rhetorical question, and that was all Harry needed to nod to himself as if he finally understood. That he finally let it sink in that his relationship was indefinitely over and there was nothing he could’ve done to make it better.

There was only so many tears he could hold in at that moment before he couldn’t physically keep his wall up and all the emotions came rushing through the floodgates of his distress and trauma.

He had managed to keep himself together for all of the times he had to inform acquaintances of his new relationship status by simply brushing it off and saying exactly what he had told Nick at the beginning. But it had become too much for the secretly heartbroken man finally, and there he was. Sobbing disgustingly into his hand as he tried to cover his cries up to leave at least some of his dignity remaining intact.

He had come to the conclusion that it was never what she had done. It was never what she had said. And it was never what he thought he felt; like he just fell out of love with her. But it was everything to do with the way she still loved him unconditionally after acknowledging his unfaithfulness to her and it made his heart hurt.

By realising this too late, he had to live with himself knowing that he pushed her too far off the edge and that he actually did love her after all.

He still loved her.

But instead of falling asleep to the sight of her radiant face - peaceful as she cuddled into his body, he had to tell everyone that he, himself, killed the best relationship he had ever been in.


He had to call it ‘suicide’.

Keagster coda in which Ransom dies and Holster is acting weird

also on ao3

“He’s gone, you know, you can come out.”

Ransom was lying on the floor of the attic, staring up at rafters with his arms splayed at his sides. The bed seemed too far for him to walk when he was in this state. How could he ever walk again when Alexei Mashkov and more importantly, Alexei Mashkov’s ass had been within three feet of him?

“That was so embarrassing,” Ransom moaned, staring up at the ceiling. “You’re going to have to find a new roommate because I’m never showing my face again.”

He’d imagined meeting Tater in various different ways for the last few years, he’d always planned to wow him with his hockey skills. Maybe Tater would show up randomly at one of his games and he’d wait for him after and he’d pull him close and kiss him and tell him that he played beautifully in that thick Russian accent and Ransom would wrap his arms around those thick shoulders and…

“Dude, he’s just a guy,” Holster said, unimpressed. Ransom was vaguely aware of the sound of the mattress creaking across the room as Holster sat down.

“He’s Alexei “Tater” Mashkov,” Ransom said, annoyed. “You’re just a guy. I’m just a guy.”

“Whatever you say, man.”

Ransom’s phone buzzed in his pocket, once, twice…

He reached down and pulled it out

Jack: Can I give Tater your number?

Holy shit. Before Ransom could even process the words Tater and your number in the same sentence his phone buzzed again.

Jack: He asked.

He. Asked. Ransom immediately shot up and ran across the room to fling his phone in Holster’s lap.

“Read. It.”

“He wants your number?”

“He. Wants. My. Number.”

Ransom’s hands were shaking as he took the phone back and sat down next to Holster on the bottom bunk.

“What do I say?”

“You say yes?” Alexei Mashkov wanted his number. Alexei Mashkov, who had spoken exactly four words to during his entire visit.

Ransom: Yeah. Of course. What’s he want with it?

That sounded cool and calm and not like Ransom was freaking out, right?

“Bro, breathe. Come on.” Holster nudged his arm and Ransom stared at him with wide eyes. “This is your second chance, right? If you text him you can actually think about what you’re saying before you say it and he’ll have no idea that you’re a crazy obsessed fan.”

“Screw you,” he muttered. His phone buzzed again and this time…

“IT’S HIM,” Ransom exclaimed, standing up. “Holster, it’s him.”

555-767-9988: Is Alexei ))

555-767-9988: Zimmboni give me your number

“What do I say?”

“Alexei, I love you, let me call you daddy?” Holser said, smirking.

Ransom waved him off. “Stop. This is serious, dude. What do I say?”

“Just…say hi?”

“That’s too boring. He’s going to get bored if I just say hi.”

“Give me the phone.” Holster stood up and grabbed the phone from Ransom’s hand and Ransom immediately tackled him to the ground.

“No! You’re going to say something stupid!” He hissed, as Holster held the phone above his head. “Give it back!”

Holster flipped them over, straddling Ransom’s waist and grinned triumphantly as he typed.

Ransom: Hey. Sorry I didn’t get to talk to you earlier.

“What are you writing? Fuck Holster what are you writing?”

“I just told him you think his ass is better than Jack’s,” he teased, and Ransom let out a wail.

“Get your stupid huge thighs off me and give me my phone!” He exclaimed, pushing Holster backwards so that he could grab the phone from his hands.

Holster handed it back, laughing, and sat up on his forearms, Ransom still half in his lap.

“Fuck. Okay. Fine. This is fine,” Ransom said, looking down at the message. “Shit man, you scared me.”

He looked down at Holster, glasses askew and shirt riding up his torso and laughed. “You’re such a dick.”

“A dick who’s helping you text your idol,” Holster said, grinning and pushing his glasses back into place. “Asshole.”

Tater: Is okay you ran. I have affect like that on people ))))))

“Is that…is he?” That was definitely flirting, right? Ransom couldn’t be sure… He turned the phone to show Holster.

“Dude.” Holster said, sitting up. “That’s gay.”

Ransom sat criss-cross on the floor, phone in his lap. He was just about to reply when the phone buzzed again and Holster hovered behind his back looking at the response.

Tater: Next time will give you autograph

“God he’s cocky,” Holster grumbled, and Ransom nudged his stomach.

“He can afford to be cocky with an ass like that.”

Ransom: Haha that’d be cool actually.

“That’d be cool actually,” Holster mimicked. Ransom glared. Why was he being like this?

“You know I suck at this stuff, man, stop,” Ransom told him. Ever since he broke up with March he’d been trying to get back in the game, and it wasn’t like Alexei Mashkov was queer or even trying to hook up with him, but it was the principle of the thing.

Tater: You are good player too. I watch games with Zimmboni.

“He thinks I’m a good player,” Ransom whispered. Holy shit.

Ransom: Thanks man. Just sucks we didn’t make it farther in the playoffs.

Tater: Some win, some lose )))

“Why is he even texting you, though?” Holster muttered, standing back up.

Ransom looked up, shocked. “Dude. What’s your problem?”

“Don’t have one. I’m just wondering. It’s kinda weird, okay?”

And it was weird, but he was literally texting his celebrity crush and his best bro could be a little happier for him?

“Yeah I mean I don’t get it, but shit man.”

“Yeah, shit.”

This was…awkward. He watched Holster carefully. He was…tense. After all these years playing together, living together, Ransom knew when something was up.

He opened his mouth to ask when Holster turned around abruptly, looking down at him.

“This is your Birthday Keagster, Rans, let’s go down, alright?”

“Yeah, alright.” Holster held a hand out to help him up and his hand lingered before he ran it back through his hair. So weird.

“And eat something! I will take care of your drunk ass if I have to, but I won’t clean up any of your puke even if it is your birthday,” Holster said, grinning. Back to normal.

Ransom laughed. “I’m the one who took care of your drunk ass when you stripped on the pong table last week, but okay.”

“Fuck off,” Holster said, nudging him in the arm.

Back to normal. Ransom grinned and opened the attic door. “It’s my birthday I’ll get shitfaced if I  want to.”

His phone buzzed again with another text from Alexei and he felt Holster physically stiffen at his side.

What the fuck.

He decided to ignore the text for now. He only had a little while longer to enjoy college with his best bud, and even if they were moving in together, everything was about to change.

anonymous asked:

So I reading chapter 90 and just WOW!!!! Is all I have to say. I love that Deku says it can't be anyone but Kirishima. But can you explain that a little more please! But only if you have time.

The timestamp on this ask tells me I’ve been thinking about it for eight hours and right this moment I just decided, fuck it, the day after the anniversary sounds like a perfect moment to lose my shit over chapter 90 again, let’s do this

So the short answer in case you don’t have time for a trip through ninety chapters of the bnha manga is, Kirishima has with Bakugou a relationship unlike nearly anyone else, based on mutual trust and faith in each other’s strength and the firm understanding that neither of them is putting themselves above the other ever, and that made it so that in the group of people present at the moment Kirishima was the only one Bakugou would have willingly accepted help from, so that’s why it had to be him 

That’s some great foundation for a mutually respectful relationship if I’ve ever seen one and my heart weeps a lot 

BUT I said I was gonna cry about this properly so let’s do this let’s just go back to the beginning of the manga anon my pal I need you to understand why everything about that chapter has me in tears still even though it’s been a year and probably a thousand read-through’s

(this is seriously image heavy I’m so sorry oops)

Keep reading

Some of you might have noticed something kind of funny about people.

Almost none of them like Treasure Planet.

And, considering I joined this fandom well over three years ago by now, this comes as absolutely no surprise to me – and chances are, if you’ve known about this film for longer than, say, a day, it fails to surprise you, too. I mean, we’ve all heard the reasons, haven’t we – valid though they are, it’s depressing to hear them, the millions upon millions upon millions of them. 

  • “Sorry, the sci-fi just wasn’t my thing.”
  •  “I liked it okay, but I can’t see myself ever watching it again.”
  •  “The animation was good, but I didn’t really like the rest of it.”
  •  “It was…sort of weird to me.”
  •  “It doesn’t measure up to Treasure Island.”
  •  “It just wasn’t my cup of tea.”

Or - and here’s the one that gets to me: 

  • “I just really didn’t like the main kid.” 

The words come across as pretty innocent - it’s just a matter of preference, it’s just their opinion, live and let live, nothing wrong with disagreeing…and there’s not. There’s really, really not. You can hate Jim Hawkins as much as you want. But you can look me in the eye and can you tell me why you hate him? Can you tell me why, exactly, that’s the argument I’ve heard the most out of any of them? Can you tell me why, in my 3+ years in this wonderful fandom, in the thousands of days I’ve now spent promoting the shit out of this film every chance I get, can you tell me why that argument is the one I find myself dealing with the most? Can you look at me and can you tell me why you hate Jim Hawkins? Can you do that? 

Because here’s the thing - I can tell you why I love him. And I got shit to back up me up. 

Let’s get down to business. Let me tell you why I love Jim Hawkins - every habit, every quirk, every mannerism, every virtue, and every flaw. Let’s plunge right in.

  • He’s kind.

Sure, you can roll your eyes if you want to, but honestly? Being really, truly, simply, genuinely nice is such a rare quality in the world, and Jim has - and displays - this quality in abundance. I mean, for one thing, bringing Billy Bones to the Benbow when he seems ninety percent sure the guy’s just crazy? Yet he takes a chance anyway, because the sailor’s sick, the sailor’s injured, it’s raining really hard, he shouldn’t be out in this in his state, here, give me your arm, let me help you, you can come in out of the rain and stay in my house for a bit.

And what about the time he met that half-mad robot on Treasure Planet and, despite the fact that BEN blatantly oversteps his boundaries a good ten times (”Will you let go of me?/Stop touching me!”/Will you quit hugging me?”) or so within the first five minutes of their introduction, despite the fact that he is very obviously unhinged from all that time alone, despite the fact that BEN is loud and attention-drawing and the word stealthy isn’t in his vocabulary, despite the fact that he’s putting the captain and the doctor and himself in peril by doing so, Jim allows BEN to come with him - all he needs is to hear about the robot’s century of solitude, his loneliness, his desolation, and he just drops everything and says, “If you’re gonna come along…”  

And don’t even get me started on the deleted scenes - such as the one where he offers to fix this child’s scooter, even though he and this kid have never met before, never even spoken to one another, and yet he offers to fix this scooter because aww the kid’s sad let me fix it for you.

 Because, beneath that black jacket and that dark scowl of his, Jim has a huge, huge heart and it’s there and it’s evident for anyone willing to look. Because Jim just legitimately cares about other people, and there’s no ulterior motive, he doesn’t ask for compensation, he doesn’t expect anything in return, he just genuinely likes helping others. 

(And as I don’t happen to have an image on hand for the child’s scooter bit mentioned above, have a few bonus pictures of times when Jim was nice) 

Comforting a frightened Morph despite the fact that his life is in the most immediate and intense danger

And how about the time he lets a pirate - the leader of a mutiny in which he was supposed to be killed - walk the fuck away from him because he believes there’s good in Silver

Don’t get me started on this kid and his kindness. Don’t. Get me started.

  • And he’s smart.

I don’t mean passing-his-finals-with-flying-colors oh-haha-that-was-a-total-seat-of-my-pants-test can’t-believe-I-pulled-through-with-a-B I-was-pulling-answers-out-of-my-ass kind of smart.

I mean completely, incredibly, off-the-charts, blow-your-mind brilliant. He might be failing his high school classes, but it’s certainly not due to the challenge; he doesn’t put any effort into his work because he just doesn’t care. I mean, we even hear Sarah state that he built his first solar surfer when he was eight. So let’s let that sink in for a second.

This kid 

was no older than that when he built one of these

Just let that sit a minute. He built one of those gizmos 

when he was eight fucking years old. Hell, I’m not one hundred percent sure I understand them now, and he was eight and he understood them so well he could make them. (Sure, he ultimately uses it to cause trouble and ride straight into restricted areas, but it still makes him pretty brainy.) 

And not to mention, when Silver tries to teach him how to steer a skiff, he doesn’t even let the guy finish his sentence before he starts powering it up. Despite the other’s best attempts to stop him, Jim ignites the engine and sends them whirling straight into a comet. He fucking steers a boat - with limited knowledge, considering Silver didn’t get a chance to teach him everything - he steers a boat into a comet, and rides that comet to its end and does it without ever missing a beat, without ever throwing himself or his companion out of the boat, without ever messing up or getting hurt or hurting Silver or anything, just gets the hang of it right off the bat.

And at the end of it, all Silver says is, “If I could maneuver a skiff like that when I was your age, they’d be bowing in the streets when I walked by today!” 

Oh, and did I mention he powers up a century-old crashed boat in sixty seconds? No? Well, he did that, too.

Oh, and he also made another solar surfer, this time at fifteen, out of the useless parts of their failing ship while the planet explodes around them.

And, when said surfer begins failing, threatening to send him plummeting to his death in a raging river of lava bubbling and frothing beneath him, he keeps it going - literally rams it into the wall, striking it against the metal surface until enough friction occurs to power the thrusters again, and he does this all in the space of thirty seconds.

Oh, and he figured out where Flint’s trove was hidden before anyone else, just based on the fragmented bits and pieces he’d picked up from other people

And did I mention yet that he was the only one who could open the map leading to the planet? 

There were people thirty and forty years his senior trying to figure it out

and he figures it out in seconds

  • And he’s brave

Remember when he casually faced down a whole crew of pirates three and four times over, all in the space of twenty-four hours? 

And how about the fact that he refuses, at great risk to himself, to open the map for the pirates - until Silver threatens the captain and the doctor? 

Or when he’s fixing that hundred-year-old boat we discussed earlier, and tells BEN to leave without him if he can’t get away in the next five minutes? 

Oh, and when the star Pellucid goes supernova on their voyage and the hands are sent to secure the solar sails, not only does Jim immediately ascend, no hesitation

he also spots Silver, who followed him there, fall from his perch, and literally fucking throws himself down onto the wood and hauls the cook - who, to be honest, has a good hundred pounds on Jim and probably almost took the kid down with him, and definitely dragged the kid closer to the edge than would be advised - back up to safety. 

And later in the film, he receives an order from the captain to scout ahead and find them a better place to hide - and even though the pirates were spotted seconds earlier, circling the skies in a longboat, Jim expresses no hesitation, simply obeys.

And, oh, uh, you remember that solar surfer we talked about earlier, the one he constructed as the planet bursts into flames and burns down around him? 

Yeah, here he is riding it through the fires and eruptions and random debris, here he is casually risking his life to save everyone else, most of them being pirates who would have loved to see him dead.

Yep, don’t mind him, he’s just saving everyone else. He might die doing it, but damn, he’s doing it anyway.

But wait. I did promise to discuss his flaws as well, and, so far, I haven’t been making good on that promise, have I? 

Fear not, for Jim Hawkins is far from perfect and it’s time for us to explore the reasons why.

  • He’s impulsive

While most readily refer to this as a “Mary Sue trait” and “not really a flaw” , I can’t help but disagree; if we consider it an undesirable trait in a real person, why on earth would we think it little more than a cute quirk in a fictional character? Believe me when I say, Jim’s consistent failure to think before he acts is not a charming little thing - it’s a flaw, plain and simple. 

For all Jim’s kindness, for all his bravery and unfailing ability to think fast on his feet, he is impulsive as all hell.

Like when he, in his first meeting with Silver, throws out several thinly-veiled accusations - showing his cards, playing his whole hand right off the bat on the off chance that his opponent might show his, too. 

Unsurprisingly, of course, Silver does not rise to the bait - meaning Jim revealed everything to the man who will later become his enemy, in a sense losing the only advantage he really held, whereas Silver lost nothing and now has additional information to help him on his way. And all this could have been avoided had Jim just kept his mouth shut. 

And that time when he attempted to eavesdrop on a couple of the other hands cause he thought they were acting suspicious 

But it’s not long before they notice him and immediately shut up - meaning Jim has now given his suspicions away to four different people, four people whom he suspects. (Five, if you count Oxy and Moron as two.)

Or how about when they find that map we talked about earlier, and when he opens it up and realizes it leads to Treasure Planet, his first thought is to follow it? Like, this could be anything. A trap, a red herring, a fool’s errand, and Jim just throws himself headlong into it because look there’s a slim chance it could be treasure let’s go right now! 

I mean, there’s just no room for doubt: Jim is super impulsive, and that’s not a good quality to have. Sure, it gets shit done, but cautious people get shit done too, and they probably get it done better because they’re not making snap decisions every 2.5 seconds.

  • And Jim is selfish

Sure, we all love him. Well, some of you hate him, and some of you love to hate him, but the sentiment stands; we all love Jim, but you can’t love somebody for too long without noticing his flaws. And Jim has his flaws. 

And it’s especially obvious in scenes like this 

where we see that Jim was just out on a joyride while his mother visibly struggles to run the inn by herself. 

It’s obvious he uses that solar surfing hobby to escape, to distract him from his problems after a tough day, but this, in turn, suggests that he feels his problems at the moment are more important than Sarah’s, and so puts himself before his mother.

And he makes things harder on her than probably anyone else in her life, going out and getting in trouble all the time and bringing the police to her door 

Not only is this probably really bad for business, it’s also likely embarrassing and obviously upsetting for poor Sarah - yet Jim offers no apology, offers almost nothing beyond the words, “Mom, it’s no big deal!”  

And when they open the map and realize where it leads, Jim jumps on the chance to leave Sarah

Not just their lonely little planet, but Sarah, he wants to leave her. And though his intentions here are honorable (”We could rebuild the Benbow a hundred times over!” / “I’ll make you proud!”) it still fails to completely sugarcoat the fact that he left her there, lured away by the promise of adventure. 

Because Jim is selfish. 

  • He’s touchy, and defiant as all hell.

Sure, this is a flaw. Sure, it’s not a great quality to have. Sure, it holds him back more than anything, and it probably gets him in more trouble than it’s worth - but I still tip my hat to Disney for introducing this flaw at all. It has been proven in the past that children with absentee parents - particularly boys with neglectful fathers -  tend to become obstinate teens with no regard for authority, and I’m just so proud of them for doing their research on that one. 

Admittedly, however, this quality does cause him more trouble than it’s worth. I mean, he makes himself an enemy out of the scariest alien aboard in the first five minutes, all because he has to have the last word.

As a matter of fact, when I think about it, Jim has single-handedly gotten on the bad side of every one of these pirates on board this ship, with the obvious exception of Silver, and he does it all because he is just that feisty.

On the other hand, however, his pluck is the first thing Silver notices - and likes - about him. It’s obvious that while the pirate captain plans to work the spunk out of him, he can’t help but respect it, too.

Like, for instance, on Treasure Planet, when Jim refuses to allow Silver to leave without him 

there’s an instant where Silver looks like he’s about to argue 

and he could, he could just hold the captain, the doctor, or even BEN at gunpoint, and chances are, Jim would likely obey just to spare those he cares for. Despite the fact that Silver is clearly the one in power here, he gives into Jim’s demands - because, even if he doesn’t like it, Jim’s defiance is something he can respect. They may be enemies now, but Silver recognizes and respects that Jim makes a worthy enemy.

  • And let’s not forget that he’s stubborn.

Seriously, once he’s found something to fight for, he’ll fight for that, and he’ll get it, no matter what it takes, and there’s nobody in the world that can change his mind. If he gets it in his head that he wants to do something, if he gets it in his head that he should do something, he’ll do it, no matter what. 

And in some cases, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It means he has a strong sense of right and wrong and knows the difference between the two, and will do what he believes to be right, regardless of what other people say. He has a moral code, and a strong one, at that, and he rarely deviates from it. And this is actually a good thing when, say, there’s a treasure-hunting pirate captain attempting to bribe him into betraying the captain and the doctor and handing over the map. 

And, when this fails and Silver resorts to trying to frighten him into submission, the kid doesn’t even blink. He can’t be bought, and he sure as hell can’t be intimidated. 

Of course, this isn’t always a good quality to have; while it does make him more resistant to tactics such as temptation, it also makes him inflexible and, in some cases, extremely resistant to change, even when that change would be for the better. 

But that iron will has another advantage. 

  • It makes him hardworking.

Whether it’s as trivial as swabbing the deck, or as enormous as seeking out a legendary treasure trove, if Jim sees the point in a task - if he sees, for himself, why it’s worthy of his time - he will put his all into it, no questions asked. So though most would call him a delinquent, and while the robo-cops on Montressor outright tell him that he is a loser

Jim is actually extremely industrious and capable - he just doesn’t always show it. But it’s there, if you know how to look.

Like when Silver leaves him with this huge pile of dishes in the galley

and he just picks up his brush and keeps right on going 

and in fact, is so determined to finish up that damn stack that he ends up falling asleep in the galley, head resting on the pot in his hand

but the dishes around him are gleaming.

Or how about when he was failing at school at the beginning of the film, and by the end, he has graduated from the prestigious Interstellar Academy? 

Can you imagine how much work it must have taken to get himself into that Academy? I mean, how long did it take for him to pull those grades up, to convince others he was really serious about this, and can you imagine how much work it took to get through the Academy once he got there? But Jim got there anyway, and he did graduate, and he did do all that amazing stuff, and he did it because he works hard. 

Oh and remember

  • He was lost

Though by the end of the film Jim is high-spirited and confident, we know from the beginning that it wasn’t always so. His father’s absence left a hole in him, a hole he felt it was too big to fill - a hole that left him feeling worthless and rejected, it left him feeling angry and defeated, and it left him thinking he wasn’t good enough. It left him with a strong, deep-seated fear of abandonment, and more than that, it left him searching - searching and searching and never quite finding the missing piece he so desperately needed. 

Jim felt he had no future; Jim felt he wasn’t worth a future; Jim didn’t really know where he was going, and that’s the kind of relatability I’ve come to expect from Dreamworks. I don’t go into a Disney film expecting to find real characters, so this came as a pleasant surprise.

And something else I’ll probably never get over

  • Jim is sensitive 

So, this one actually sounds funny. I mean, I just said earlier how selfish Jim is, right? How he’s always putting himself before Sarah? Yeah. That whole argument still stands. It’s just that Jim isn’t all selfish, all the time. Can he be selfish? Yes. Extremely. Is he selfish? Sometimes. But he’s also, as mentioned before, a genuinely nice person. A person with honest empathy. His instances of self-absorption don’t cancel that out.

Now, while most define a sensitive person as “one who understands and feels for others” - and while Jim certainly does that, too - we’ve already tackled that. We’ve talked about Jim as a compassionate and thoughtful individual, and I’m not here to talk about it again, though I could.

No, there are drawbacks to feeling for others, and I’m here to talk about them.

I mean, Jim cares about other people - Jim feels deeply for people, deeply enough to welcome complete strangers into his house and offer lonely individuals a place at his side, Jim just feels for people even if he’s never experienced their hardships for himself. And if he can feel so strongly for strangers, if he can look upon a person he hardly knows and want to help ease their pain, if his heart squeezes upon seeing others’ suffering, how much do you think it hurts when he experiences his own? 

His father, for example. An indifferent, neglectful parent, the heartache they cause, it would sting even the most impervious - but for somebody as thin-skinned and tender-hearted as Jim, it absolutely devastates him. And when the man finally gives up on his family, leaving behind his wife and their eight-year-old, it just tears the kid apart.

As a matter of fact, it hurts Jim so deeply that it takes him seven years just to realize that it wasn’t his fault, or anyone’s; his father’s rejection caused him so much pain that he is well into his adolescence before he can even begin to accept that he’s gone.

But this isn’t just one instance; it’s not merely a festering childhood wound, no. Jim takes the slightest slip-up straight to heart - and upon believing he caused Mr. Arrow’s death, he spends what appears to be hours beating himself up for this perceived failure. 

And ultimately, he might have continued indefinitely had Silver not intervened and comforted him.

And of course, less than twenty-four hours later, Silver tells his bloodthirsty crew - and, unwittingly, an eavesdropping Jim - that his attentions were all for show, that he had to be nice to the kid to keep him from suspecting the crew of anything shady, he had to win the lad’s trust or risk his suspicion…and Jim really believes it, and, in fact, is so hurt, that he appears to take a moment to swallow back tears. 

Jim is just so easy to hurt. 

And to be honest, it’s great; it makes his empathy for others more believable - after all, if his own wounds have left such obvious marks, who’s to say another’s tribulations won’t win over his sensitive heart? 

And, hey, hey, don’t forget

  • He’s just a kid

I mean, he’s doing all this awesome shit, he’s building solar surfers

 and saving lives

and working his ass off and being super kind and impulsive and defiant and selfish and everything, he’s doing all this, and he’s only fifteen years old. Like. He’s fifteen. He’s not even an adult yet. He’s not even of legal age. He’s just casually amazing at fifteen, but what do you think he’ll be like in five years, ten years, twenty?

As Silver says, he really is going to rattle the stars.

Now let’s review before we go: 

  • Jim is kind.
  • Jim is smart.
  • Jim is brave.
  • Jim is impulsive
  • Jim is selfish
  • Jim is touchy and defiant as all hell.
  • Jim is stubborn
  • Jim is hardworking.
  • Jim was lost.
  • Jim is sensitive
  • Jim is just a kid

Just please, for the love of all that is good and holy, don’t ever forget Jim Hawkins.

Three’s Company (Part 1): His Sister’s Keeper

Title:  Three’s Company: His Sister’s Keeper

Author:  Mimi @captain-rogers-beard

Summary:  After breaking up with your fiance, you’re forced to move in with your twin brother, Bucky, and his best friend and roommate, Steve. Living with your brother is one thing. Living with the man you’ve harbored a crush on for the majority of your life is another. What could possibly go wrong?

Characters: Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes, Female Reader (Y/N Barnes), Brock Rumlow (mentioned)

Word Count:  1687

Rating: PG-13

Warnings:  some angst, bad break-up, mentions of cheating.

Author’s Notes:  This is my first Marvel AU and series. I write SPN on @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog. I drew inspiration from the television show “Three’s Company,”  the movie “What’s Your Number?” and a bunch of other things. Thank you to the amazing @mamapeterson and @climbthatmooselikeatree for helping me - beta work, bouncing ideas off of them, and overall encouraging me.

***My work is not to be posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

Originally posted by dailychrisevans

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peach blossoms (m)

❥ word count: 46k

❥ genre: fluff + smut + very minimal angst ; magic au + school au

❥ pairing: reader/jimin

❥ warning(s)/kink(s): tons of immature humor, teasing, dirty talk, riding, dom undertones, hickies, slightly rough sex, grinding, admissions of feelings, (honestly the sex is fairly vanilla, this is mostly fluff)

❥ summary: as your best friend tries to help you create a potion for a project, you end up making a mistake that changes jimin and you have to turn him back before anyone sees and fix things in time for your project presentation. the catch? feelings are stupid and annoying and they happen to mess with your head as you try and return jimin back to normal.

❥ a/n & music can be found here

Originally posted by kpop-zodiac

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The Virgin and The Sex God: Chapter Six- Dean x Reader

The Virgin and The Sex God: Chapter Six

Summary: Dean finds out you’re a virgin and begins to try to charm his way into your pants. Little does he know he’s about to fall in love.
Word Count: 2,317
Warnings: Sexual Content.  Language.


Originally posted by justjensenanddean

SERIES MASTERLIST

I’m so addicted to all the things you do
When you’re rollin’ round with me in between the sheets
Oh the sounds you make, with every breath you take
It’s unlike anything, when you’re lovin’ me…
From Addicted by Saving Abel

Something more.

The words rattled you to your soul and you swallowed thickly.  It wasn’t like you could come up with a reply.  Every time you went to say something, your voice died in your throat.  The air didn’t seem to want to push its way out of your lungs and the only thing that came out was a strangled choke.

Dean had gone quiet too.  His eyes staring straight ahead, but his hand never left yours.  You looked down and you felt your heart stop when you noticed how perfect they seemed to fit together.  It was an odd idea to you.  That you could feel so much for someone but still want to hide yourself from him.  

Dean was never meant to be yours and it was going to be hard to let go of  something that never could be.  Chewing on your bottom lip, you gave his hand a squeeze.  You didn’t want to hurt him, but your heart was already dying inside.  There was something broken in you and there was no fixing it.

 Dean didn’t know that and you wouldn’t let him find out.  You would simply let him see that you weren’t meant for him.

Ten minutes later, you and Dean had arrived back to the motel.  You stopped in front of the door to your room and watched as he disappeared into his.  You allowed yourself to finally let the tears you had held back to fall.  Shaking in relief as you did.   

What the hell were you going to do with yourself?

You reached up and wiped away the tears as you stood in the cool night air.  It made your skin prickle and you reached up to rub your arms.  You had momentarily forgotten that your outfit was so suggestive until someone drove by in the parking lot to scream lewd things your direction.  You jumped and let out a surprised screamed when they honked loudly.

The door to Dean’s room came flying open as he came barreling out.  

“Y/N?” He asked as his peered around the corner at you.  You had pressed yourself to the adjoining wall as you tried to calm down.  You were overwhelmed by everything that had gone on that night. You desperately tried to regain your composure as you breathed in deeply.  Dean had rounded the corner and had you in his arms.  


You leaned into his touch and wrapped your arms around his waist.  Your heart thudded in your  chest as you tried to ignore the growing desire.  A desire to be that girl he called his own.

 
“What the hell are you doing out here sweetheart?”  He asked softly.  His hands coming up to stroke the top of your head.  You shook your head and clung closer to him.

“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing at all…” You mumbled into his shirt.  You were cold, tired, and confused.  You heard Dean let out a sigh before he pulled away and lead you to his door.   Your eyes snapped to him as he motioned for you to come inside.  
“Ummm….  Heh….  Ummmm…  I thought we’re gonna take things slow.”  You whimpered as you took a step backwards.  The pure nervousness that you had felt that first night in the bar was settling itself back into your stomach.  Dean let out that laugh of his and you turned to glare at him.


“What the fuck, Winchester!  Why are you always laughing at my expense? Not the best way to get in a girl’s pants!” You hissed.   Dean continued to laugh as he went inside his room.  You hovered in the doorway and stared into the darkness.  What the hell was he up to now?

First he confesses that he wants something more than sex from you.  Then he’s trying to get you into his motel room.  Was he trying to fuck with you?  You choked on your tongue  when the overhead light flickered on and Dean stood there in nothing but his boxer and t-shirt.  

You had never seen the man without his five layers of clothing except for the other morning.  Then it had only been brief and a lot less sexually driven.   Dean gave you a look as if to say, ‘You know you like it, sweetheart.’  You grunted and rolled your eyes.  

“Are you coming to bed or you just going to stand there all night?”  He asked with another chuckle.  You froze as you looked up at him with a questioning look.  

Was he just trying to get in your pants after all?  You glowered at him but took a step inside.  Dean approached you and closed the door behind you.  When it slammed shut, you couldn’t help but feel you were suddenly being locked in a dungeon of doom.   Dean, of course, being your own personal dungeon master.  You squinted as the idea of that being a dirty thought weaseled through you.  Your face twitched a bit at the thought of Dean spanking you while you called him Daddy flashed through your mind.  

You slow blinked at the thought and wondered what the hell you were even thinking.  The things this man made you think about.  No wonder woman’s panties seemed to literally drop at the sight of him.  You had never understood it until now.  Having Dean Winchester’s attention was the best high you had ever experienced.  It was also the most pissed off you had ever been.

Dean had been watching your facial expression with peaked interest.  He wished that he could just for a moment get inside that pretty head of yours, but mainly he wished he could get into those panties. 

 He snorted to himself and shook his head at that lie.  He knew damn well that what he was saying earlier was the truth.   What he wanted to get into was your heart and your panties.  Though he really didn’t care of the order that it happened.  He smirked at the thought and the way you had pressed your back against the door.

“Relax, sweetheart.  I just thought that maybe we could cuddle.  You know ease you into all this a little slower this time.”  He said with a toothy grin.   You eyed him for a moment and inspected him for any lies to be told.  All those years of hunting had given you a nose for sniffing out lies.    


“Alright… I’ll give it a try.”  You murmured.  “But any funny business Winchester and I’ll make you regret the day you were born.”  You warned as you eyed him with suspicion.  Dean just gave you that smirk of his in return before sprawling across the bed.  

“I’ll be right back.  I need to get out these clothes….  I smell like a bar threw up.”  You mumbled as you head towards the adjoining door.  Making your way quickly to your duffel bag, you rummaged around for your pajamas.   Yanking off your nuisance of an outfit, you sighed as the soft fabric of your favorite old band tee smoothed over your skin.  

Cringing when you noticed how wet your underwear still was, you slipped them down you legs in favor of a newer pair.  You blanched, when after searching for some time, realized that you didn’t have any more clean pairs.  You would have to do laundry soon.  Slipping on your sleep shorts, you grabbed your tooth brushed before sucking in a deep breath.  

You made your way through the door and stopped just short of the bed.  Dean was lying propped back on the pillows.  Shirtless.  A whimper got caught in the back of your throat and it made you sound like a mouse squeaking.  Dean smiled broadly at you and his fingers ghosted over his ab muscles.  Your eyes would have been come glue there if you hadn’t torn them away.

“Please tell me you have on boxers.”  You asked.  Your voice a little higher than normal from embrassessment.  You had never actually touched a naked man before and you couldn’t handle him if he was.   Dean laughed lowly and pulled the covers up to reveal his boxer.  You nodded before cautiously climbing into bed with him.  Crawling up to his side, you laid your head on his chest while he draped his arm around you.  

Dean sighed in contentment as he felt your warmth pressed against him.  His hand coming to rest just above your elbow as he gently ran his fingers over your skin.  You founded yourself snuggling closer into his warm chest.  Your whole body felt light as you allowed yourself to relax and enjoy the moment.  Dean was warm and smelt like mint.  Your hand began to trace circles into his right bicep as you hummed yourself to sleep.  

Dean noticed as you slowly began to fall asleep.  Your body stilled, your breathing became more even, and your eyes closed.  He smiled before placing a kiss on your forehead.  He gently ran his fingers through your hair and he couldn’t help thinking that this was how life was suppose to be.  He had a taste of this kind of life with Lisa, but that couldn’t have been.  You,though,were different.  He wouldn’t be dragging you into the life as you were already a part of it.  You understood him and he understood you.   

Dean spent the next few hours just watching you sleep.  He had chuckled when you had began to mumbled about him in your sleep.  You were frowning and you scolded him several times for being a pervert.   And then things got very interesting.   You had rolled away from him and seemed to moan his name.  He lifted himself so that he could try to make out your facial expressions in the dark.  From what he could tell, your face reflected what he thought was going on in that dream of yours.

“Dean please…  Touch me.”  You whispered.   A cocky smirk drew on Dean’s lips when his suspicions were confirmed.  You were having a sex dream about him.  

Dean could only watch completely transfixed as your hand roamed down your body.  It stopped at the waistband of your shorts and Dean had to swallow hard.  He sent out a little prayer to whomever the fuck would listen that you would go for gold.  Of course the opposite of that happen and Dean rolled his eyes.  Yours had popped open and were looking at him in horror.  He smiled knowingly down at you.  

That ever so cocky grin becoming wider as your eyes gave everything away.  Much to your protest, Dean leaned over and kissed you.  His lips lingering sweetly there.  It wasn’t raw and wild like the other you had shared.  It was soft and loving.  His lips moving against yours gently as his fingers slipped through your hair.  When he pulled back, you were a panting mess of a girl.  

You furrowed your eyebrows together at the action.  You had expected him to make some comment or lewd suggestion.  Not kiss you like you were his first love.  You reached up and scratched your head from nerves as he continued to smile at you.  Annoyance creeped up your spine as you glanced away from him.  You rolled over but could still feel those green orbs boring into your back.  The need to strangle him flashed through your mind and you sat up to glare at him.

“What Winchester?”  You snapped as your eyes narrowed into slits.

The smile was a not there anymore.  The smug grin on his face made you want to slap him or kiss him.  You just weren’t sure which one it was anymore.

“So…  How many of those dreams had you had about me?”  He asked in a cocky tone.  

You groaned and turned away from him.  Making sure to pull the covers over your head as you did.  

“Go to sleep, Dean.”  You mumbled from your blanket prison.  Dean snickered as his hand roamed under the blanket for you.  You yelped when his arms wrapped around you.  Pulling you into his chest as his fingers began to dance along your ribs.  You squealed loudly and tried to squirm away, but he locked you into his embrace. His fingers lingered in the place that he found you were the most ticklish.  You laughed until you were crying and he laughed with you as his heart swelled with joy.

“Dean stop!  STOP. Aahahahhahaha.” You well managed to shriek between rounds of laughter.   You hated being tickled and you wonder for a brief moment how he knew.  Then you remembered that you had confessed to him once.  Bastard, how did he remember that?

“Not until you tell me how many dreams you’ve had.”  He said with a laugh of his own.  You wailed harder as his fingers skimmed across your ribs again.  You jerked and wiggled but his grip was tight.  

“ALRIGHT. ALRIGHT!  I don’t know!  I’ve lost count!”  You cried in defeat as his fingers stop their torture.   

“Umm.  That’s the answer I wanted to hear.” Dean said as he kissed the top of your head.  Settling down behind you, he pressed himself into your back.  You stiffened when you could feel every muscle and smooth piece of skin.   Oh god damn it, the man was even built like a god.  You hadn’t allowed yourself to get a really good look at him.  You had always tried to avoid staring at him.  It had to be the same concept as staring at the sun.   If you stared to long you’d certainly go blind.

Dean, in the meantime, was taking advantage of your distracted state.  He leaned down and buried his face in your hair.  Sighing when you smelt sweet and light, he kissed the back of your neck.  A last fleeting thought flickered through his mind before sleep overtook him.

This was were you both belonged.


AN:   :D  Hope you enjoyed the update.  Sorry this update took a little longer than excepted.  Work kicked my butt this week and I had some computer issues.  Feedback is greatly loved.  Please leave a comment if you have time.  I will be back with an update Tomorrow.  See you then and enjoy your Saturday!

You can read all my work at my MASTERLIST.

Much Love,
Kristina

Tags are under the cut. If you want to be added to the list please send me an ask.  Sometimes tumblr is a cunt and eats my notes.  I might not see your comment.  :)

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We Are Young: Chapter 1

Throne of Glass High School AU

Summary: Senior Rowan Whitethorn is new to town. It doesn’t take him long to get use to a new school, make new friends, even join the local hockey team. But it also doesn’t take him long to meet sophomore and figure skater Aelin Galathynius. And it doesn’t take him long to realize one thing; he can’t stand her.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 

——————–

“Coach is going to kill you.”

Aelin had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. She glanced over at Nehemia, but the dark skinned beauty was too busy backing into a parking spot of the school parking lot to pay her any attention.

Uncle Orlon,” The car came to a stop and Aelin sent Nehemia another pointed look - “Isn’t going to kill me for added a little extra sugar in my coffee.” A pause. “Uncle Weylan might though.”

“There are several things wrong with your statement,” Lysandra spoke up from the back of the car. She leant forward to look at herself in the rearview mirror, fixing her hair as she spoke. “One, you got a gingerbread latte and added three extra packets of sugar. I wouldn’t call that ‘a little’. And two,” Lysandra turned, sending Aelin a deadly smile. “Coach Weylan will definitely kill you when he finds out.”

If he finds out.” Aelin smirked, taking a big sip of her over sugared drink.

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10

SKETCHY BEHAVIORS | Heather Benjamin (RH)

Through her dense and detailed packed line drawings to her more focused ink brush pieces, Rhode Island based artist Heather Benjamin’s work is visceral, cathartic, and autobiographical. It offers a completely unapologetic and unflinching look into an artists’ own struggles with life, body image, self confidence, and sexuality.  We find her and her art to be inspirational, honest and badass.

We recently ran into Heather at her booth at the LA Art Book Fair and caught up with her a few months later to ask about her art, her experiences at RISD, her influences, and her thoughts about her work and her life. 

Photographs courtesy of the artist.

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