another of those things that literally took me a year to get around to

The Reason I Don’t Do Cold Readings Anymore…

by reddit user Skarjo

I don’t do ‘Cold Readings’ anymore. I don’t tell fortunes. I don’t read tea leaves.

And I do not do contact ‘the other side’.

Look, don’t judge me alright? It was an easy gig. I mean, the first time I did it, it was a joke. I did it just to impress a girl. You’ve been there right? It was something I’d read about online and I thought I’d give it a go.

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Okay but can we just sit down and talk about all that Lin-Manuel Miranda has done at his age? He has:

- written not just one but TWO Broadway musicals(which is a feat in its own)

- came so close to getting a PEGOT this year(which I know he’s gonna get real soon. The Oscars deserve him, not the other way around.)

- composed and wrote a song for a Disney movie that has a plot commendable in its own, which, by the way, completely deserved to win said Oscar

- Is starring in the next Mary Poppins, which is a Disney movie, so now he is not only living out his lifelong dream two times over BUT is getting to star in it

- Penned music for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. If you can get Star Wars nerds to like something, you know it’s good.

- He is a really hecking good multi tasker. Even though he was in college, he was still starring in a musical that he created, and then flash forward a couple years or so and he is doing tv shows and all sorts of mania while writing a musical, then flash forward another couple of years or so and he’s starring in the freaking thing, which is still taking the world by storm now

- He rejuvenated the younger population’s love for theatre. The arts were at a slow decline, then he shoved Hamilton in our faces and lo behold, a new wave of theatre nerds began to walk the earth

- He gives a voice for those who were quickly losing it or didn’t really have it to begin with. With In the Heights, he showed everyone that the stereotypes associated with his culture were the complete opposite, and showcased Washington Heights in a way that nobody else would have ever been able to. In Hamilton, he took the whole “I only know this guy because he’s on the ten dollar bill and I think he was the president once???” thing and blew it out of the freaking water. If you would’ve asked people in early 2015 who he was, you’d get about what’d you expect, but ask literally anyone you see now and chances are they’ll know who he is (whether it be because they like the musical or hate it because everyone they know likes it, it still has the same effect)

- He! Has! Inspired! So many people!!!!!!!! Whether it be because of a Disney movie, or a play, or his commitment to what he does, or literally anything I haven’t listed (I left out a lot, this man has essentially done anything and everything), when it all comes down to it, he is so freaking inspiring and talented! I can’t even begin to list the number of people I know that he has had an impact on, and I know there are tens of thousands of people out there who view him the same way.

- So yeah, he’s done all of this and more, and is only 37. But thirty seven is kinda old, you may ask? Get back with me when you reach that age with a list of your achievements and let’s see who amounts to more.

Sangwoo’s Feelings for Yoonbum

This is an analysis of Sangwoo’s feelings and thoughts throughout the chapters and how he developed feelings for Bum. This is basically Sangwoo’s POV of the story. It might answer some of the questions I’ve been seeing around about ‘Why did Sangwoo do this or that?’ and etc.

0. Emptiness

I think it’s very obvious that Sangwoo used to be really really lonely before Bum showed up. As a child he was abused and I think he was very attached to his mother so he lost the only person in his life that he truly loved. Imagine how frustrating it is to always pretend to be someone else. Be happy, smile, laugh, joke and hang out with people you don’t even like. You think they’re flawed, shallow, stupid, ungrateful and have ugly personalities (Sangwoo’s words) but this is the only way he can be with people. He has to wear a mask 24/7 that hides his true personality and I don’t care if he’s horrible, he’s still human. He doesn’t whine about it but he’s been subconsciously suffering. He has so many ‘friends’ and yet he’s completely lonely because nobody accepts him for what he really is. He literally does not have anyone.

Now before you blame his behavior and tendencies, I want to point out that I think Sangwoo has Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), shows signs of BPD and also he’s a victim of abuse so with those in mind, let’s start:


1. ‘A perverted stalker?’

A guy broke into Sangwoo’s house and when he got caught, he confessed to him, telling him that he’s been in love with him. Sangwoo smiles because ‘people are full of shit’ and say anything to save themselves. Let’s trust his words here and say he didn’t kill Bum because he hadn’t kill a man in 3 years but I also think at that moment he feels like he should keep Bum around. Maybe out of curiosity? He’s not sure why yet. He just knows Bum is a different case. To do that, he breaks Bum’s legs to make sure he won’t leave.


2. ‘Can I be attracted to a man?’

He doesn’t know what to do with this guy. Bum is not loud or annoying, he doesn’t disobey him and is powerless. Sangwoo started to rationalize things for himself and figure out if he can be attracted to Bum, a man, in any way, basically he started exploring,

But still, he doesn’t trust this ‘perverted stalker’ so he is thinking, ‘I’ll provoke him and I’ll have a reason to end his life.’ BUT to his surprise, his plan backfires. Bum likes the abuse (or at least pretends to). Despite mocking Yoonbum, Sangwoo is surprised! He loves what he’s seeing. I believe he never got a reaction like that from anyone before when abusing them. And so he takes another step forward and kisses him, still experimenting.

He likes the kiss. He decides to keep Bum for now. He keeps him in the basement for a week. He hurts Bum by cutting him (punishing him) but still Yoonbum doesn’t push him away. Sangwoo realizes Yoonbum really is not a threat and is powerless which is why he took him upstairs and when Yoonbum begged him not to take him to the basement again, despite rejecting him, he considered it.


3. ‘You will hate me!’ First Test

Sangwoo believed Yoonbum will eventually want to leave him. Because I think he is aware of his own wrong actions to some point at least. Why would anyone want to stay with him after everything that happened, right? But the big improvement was that he wasn’t planning to kill him anymore. Why? I believe this is where the feelings started to develop. When he sees his mother (the only person he loved), in Yoonbum. Although he can separate these two people very well in reality.

Yoonbum said ‘I love you!’ AGAIN even after everything and Sangwoo is once again surprised! He slowly starts to trust this person’s feelings. He even gives him a knife but… not because he trusts Bum. That’s a test. I’m not sure if this translation is right but I believe that’s what he means by ‘I have something I want to confirm too’. He’s testing Yoonbum’s loyalty. He wants to know if Bum really means it when he says he loves him.

After that the real abuse starts and I believe he’s copying his father’s behavior while Yoonbum is ‘the mom’. He makes him do house chores, beats him up, etc… Meanwhile he enjoys abusing him and is waiting for an excuse to hurt him badly because he’s not emotionally attached to him yet. He doesn’t care. But Yoonbum is always obedient and finally… Sangwoo lets Yoonbum sit at the table with him because he wonders why Yoonbum is so nice to him, always smiling and listening to him and even made him a really nice dinner. He suspects him and it happens to be the same night Yoonbum uses the rat poison. For whatever reason, the poison doesn’t work on Sangwoo and Yoonbum passes the first test!


4. ‘He really loves me?’

When Yoonbum got sick, is where we can see Sangwoo’s emotions to some point. Sangwoo picked him up and took him to the basement but he looked at Bum and actually felt sorry for him (or maybe he just couldn’t see him as a threat. Either way) He went back up and laid him down on his own mattress. He took care of him and told him to rest. You can see him sitting beside him and staring at him in silence and I love this panel so much because you can see Sangwoo caring. can’t help but feel like he’s worrying for his sick bunny xD His emotions aren’t strong but he doesn’t want to lose Bum.

I think the question Yoonbum asked (whether he really meant it or not) made Sangwoo happy a bit. Chapter 5 is where he finally feels attached to Yoonbum and shows him affection. They started exchanging stories. Sangwoo was actually interested to know about his story, although he was a bit disappointed, saying that it’s ‘boring’ and that he hates weak people like Yoonbum who self pity. “Stop going on about how lonely you are. I hate that shit.” Why? Because Sangwoo is not the type that stay sad and depressed over their misfortunes. He’s the type that wants to get stronger to beat whatever and whoever is in his way. But in a way he thinks Yoonbum is like him. He started comparing himself with Yoonbum which is a big improvement. He told him how Yoonbum made things easier for him. “Why? How? I looked for a reason. And then I saw you.” He told Bum he was glad they were together and Yoonbum’s love made him feel stronger which I believe means Yoonbum’s love and obedience gives him confidence. And by kissing Bum’s wrist he implied that the love can be mutual.
Although he still doesn’t fully trust him (which is probably why he also refused the bj) but he was letting himself believe that Bum’s love for him was real. He’s happy to see someone is still in love with him even after everything that happened and after he saw Sangwoo’s true personality. He has someone now that knows his darkest secrets and still wants him for what he really is.


5. ‘Almost there…’ Second Test

Everything seems to be going well after that. Sangwoo was kind and affectionate towards Yoonbum. He took care of him and joked around. Although I’d like to think he was being too nice on purpose and not really himself and that’s because the second test was coming. He wanted Bum to feel he’d lowered his guards. He reminded Bum not to cross the line then left the house and Bum fails the second test.


6. ‘Don’t be pathetic.’ First Lesson

Even though he was hoping Yoonbum won’t come out, he expected it (considering he had the basement ready for him). He does not trust Bum at all and I think he was trying to kill Bum until he saw him calling his name even in his last moments so that changed his mind. It’s as if you want to let go of someone you like but they keep coming back to you so you can’t make the right decision. He wants Yoonbum. He wants someone to love him and he knows he probably won’t ever find anyone like that again. He was disappointed in Yoonbum SO he decided to make him better! Stronger! Like himself. So after punishing him, first he decided to show him how pathetic he is. He found a guy for Bum to kill (’for practice’), meanwhile insulting both of them to show Bum how 'bad’ it is to be weak.

Sangwoo still cares about him and makes sure Yoonbum knows that. The sick little mind games he played, were only because he enjoys seeing Bum relying on him and trusting him blindly. As I said before, it gives him confidence and makes him feel stronger.

This first murder happened. It was supposedly to make Bum stronger, show him how it feels to kill and… the most important part, help Yoonbum understand Sangwoo and be closer to him (spiritually!?) so they can be together.


7. ‘He left me too! I won’t forgive him!’ The Breakdown

Fear of abandonment. I already wrote a long post and talked about Sangwoo’s fear of abandonment here. The panic that happens after he thinks he’s been abandoned and the roller coaster of emotions. Rage, Fear, Worry, Sadness. He feels betrayed. He goes mad … and I have one thing to add to it all. I think that might’ve been how he felt when his mother ‘left him’ AKA died considering the flashbacks. (I’m not sure if this person is his mother though. She might have been a replacement?) I don’t know if Sangwoo killed her or something else happened but we can be sure that he loves and wants Yoonbum equally.

When he finds Yoonbum… he realizes how valuable he is to him and so he finally decides, “Let’s stay together… forever…”


8. ‘See how disgusting people are’

I’m going to skip a bit to where Sangwoo introduces Yoonbum to his ‘friends’. I think this is all to let Yoonbum get bullied, emotionally hurt, to build up some anger in him and provoke him. To remind him this is how people will treat you if you let them. Sangwoo already knows Yoonbum has been bullied and hurt a lot in his life because in a way he can relate to him. They are the same people. They were both hurt and abused and they have the right to punish these disgusting people. And this is all for Yoonbum and for the both of them. Sangwoo is pulling him up to his level or at least close so that they can be together. Jieun was a gift to Yoonbum and Sangwoo was happy to see Yoonbum accepted that gift.



I tried to keep this as short as possible. I think I understand Sangwoo well and I believe this is also the reason why he kills… but still these are only my thoughts and how I see everything. So they might not be 100% true. Koogi might have more surprises for her readers. But still, I love this character a lot and I can’t wait to see and know more about him and his past. Also I kind of fast forwarded the last chapter because there are so many posts about it already.

Closet Softie

Or, How Bucky Barnes Nearly Ruined His Tough-Guy Rep

(On AO3)


The trail mix was gone. 

The nice, expensive trail mix, with twelve kinds of nuts and the big sunflower seeds and dried fruits, the kind Tony only rarely left sitting on the common floors for everyone to get at, was gone. 

Clint had been looking forward to that stuff all morning

All the way through a hellish morning “jog” with Steve, all through Nat handing him his ass on the training mats, all through firing the same batch of misweighted arrows over and over so Tony could take scans and fix the design, he’d been thinking, when this is done I get to go upstairs and hang out on the couch and watch Dog Cops and eat the good trail mix, guilt-free. 

And it was gone.

Clint was gonna shoot somebody.

Just as soon as he figured out who’d taken the trail mix.


kingofmemes posted:

yesterday i saw a sad duck in the park who kept getting picked on by the other ducks so today i brought some trail mix and we had a nice lunch together. also i think he might be the duck who pooped on sam last week. if so, he is officially my new best friend. 

Posted at 3:29 PM, 24379 notes

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Magic Works (aka STORY TIME)

Sit down, witches young and old.  I have a story to share.

So, in late Summer 2014, I was held at gunpoint and my car was stolen.  Without going into too much detail, I was out at night running errands and two masked men cornered me in the parking lot of my apartment complex.  (The Mister was not with me at the time; he was in the apartment.)  In the trunk of my car was my witchy box, which contained ALL of my most important craft materials including my book of shadows, my tarot, and my most beloved trinkets.  (I had taken it on a witchy retreat the weekend before.)

When they stole my car, they used it in a bank robbery and then ditched the vehicle after use.  I was DEVASTATED.  I couldn’t sleep or eat for days (trauma can be an absolute bitch); I was terrified to go out on my own, even on our porch.  I lost my job because I no longer had a means of transportation.  And to top it off, I ended up having a miscarriage around the same time.

Guys and gals, I went to a very dark place after this.  The police, as helpful as they were, told me that the likelihood of finding the vehicle was slim-to-none.  In fact, it is common in most places (and especially my state) that stolen vehicles are dumped in rivers or ravines, never to be found again.  What made matters worse was that I had JUST PAID THE CAR OFF and SWITCHED MY INSURANCE TO LIABILITY ONLY.  (For you bebes out there that don’t know, this means that your insurance company won’t replace the car if it is stolen.)

For months, I tried to dig myself out of this hole, but I felt like I couldn’t really connect with my craft because I was missing important elements to my spellwork.  Some of the things in that box were passed down for generations in my family.  They were absolutely priceless.  I felt so…lost.

The following May, I was visiting Tulum, Mexico.  A tropical storm was brewing off the shoreline and everyone else was drunk at one of the all-inclusive bar.  I watched from my balcony as surfers took to the turbulent waves and something came over me.  I felt a literal pull in my chest.  Something kept telling me to go to the water.

My family, friends, and the Mister all told me I was crazy when I went to the beach.  There was thunder, the waves were insanely high, and even the experienced surfers were having trouble.  On the lifeguard stands, black flags were posted (one of the signs that swimming is absolutely ill-advised) and for even an experienced competitive swimmer (that’s me!), it would be dangerous. But something told me to get into the water.

Nothing could have prepared me for the power of the ocean.  It pulled me when I resisted; it dragged against every limb and I became frightened.  But instead of thinking about the fact that I could possibly drown, I kept replaying those guys and their guns pointed at me, one shoved into my forehead.  I became angry; I kicked harder, pushed myself further until I felt the sand at my toes again.

I was crying and so angry.  I stood still in the water and called out into the wind.  I beat my fists against the surface of the sea (I probably looked insane, but no one was out there) and felt all of my pain seep away.  I begged the water for one thing: even if the car didn’t run, could my precious things be returned to me.  I bartered with the sea.

The sea giveth and the sea taketh away, as they say.  All of the hurt and terror and anguish I had felt over the previous year disappeared.  I was embraced by the water and somewhere so very deep inside me, I knew everything would be okay.  There was finally a sense of calm and clarity inside me, replacing the tumultuous emotions I had been feeling.

The morning we left, after the storms had passed, I went back to that secluded part of the beach and promised that I would dedicate my life to helping witches around me.  I had never made a promise like that in my life.

A month after that, the state police found my car.  It wasn’t in working condition at all, but everything remained intact in the trunk.  They brought it to my parents’ house and I rushed outside.  I sobbed when my dad opened the trunk and saw the box waiting, looking the exact same way it did the night the car was stolen.  Everything was in it, untouched by the elements.  (Eventually, I repaired the car enough for it to run another two-and-half-years, too!)

Magic is real.  Against impossible odds, there is power in every wish and desire.  I will never regret the promise I made that day.  I will never take for granted the gifts that have been given to me.  And when people scoff when I say that I am a witch, I inwardly smile and know that my magic is true and real.  I have all the proof I need.

Testosterone Boys

Reader x F*ckboi!Yoongi ft. Taehyung
Synopsis: 
A little end of the year party tradition gets taken too far.
Genre: Smutty, Angst
Word Count: 7.1k
Part 1 of 2


Originally posted by dreamyoongi


“No! It’s not happening.”  

“C'mon. It’s harmless. Seriously, it’d be like a chill thing.”

“No, Yoongi. There’s no way I’m doing that.”

“Why not? There’s seriously no ill feelings behind it, I only need them for a little bit and then you’ll get it back.”

“Why can’t you take no for an answer, Loser. I’m not giving you my underwear. Bye.”  

Yoongi sighed as he followed you outside of the house party to the backyard. The music pounded through the walls from inside, blaring fast beats and obscene profanities, echoing past numerous houses down the street. The cold air hit your cheeks that were tinted red from the alcohol and the heat of the copious amounts of bodies ‘bumping and grinding’ on one another.  

Even outside, the yard was filled with scattered groups and couples. Each of them drinking from those infamous red, plastic cups, taking hits off of each others blunts, or connected to their partners lips. Pushing past them was no easy task, consistently bumping into intoxicated bodies as you made your way to the empty swinging loveseat.

You ran your hand through your hair as you sat, attempting to catch a breath. The party was suffocating. It seemed as though people flooded every room, corner, crevice and pocket the household had. The bathroom; occupied by two girls from your Literature class going down on the All-Star Quarterback whose only response to the disturbance was “Do you wanna join?”

The bedrooms were either locked and if they weren’t you wouldn’t dare go into them anyways. Oh no, you’d learned your lesson the first time you’d ever gone to a house party of this size. Turns out, High Schoolers were a lot kinkier than you could ever have thought.  

Any other room was full of people trying too hard to impress their peers when in the end it didn’t even matter. You never saw the point in these fiascos. High School lasts 4 years and then it’s over with and you don’t ever see these people again. They weren’t important to you in the long run.

So, why were you here in the first place? Well you could thank your 'best friend’ for that. Park Jimin. After well, years, of begging for you to try another party saying, “It won’t be like the first one, I promise. I won’t leave your side and we’ll have fun, just the two of us, okay?” He finally got you to agree to try it once more making him swear he really wouldn’t leave you alone at any point during the party. But, here he was; weak as a kitten as soon as his ex walked in, begging for some alone time to 'talk’.

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Milkshakes

Archie Andrews imagine request for anon

You remembered snippets.

You could remember arriving to the party with Archie at your side and you remembered the first shot of that cheap spiced rum that Reggie had at the makeshift bar in his parent’s basement – but besides that all you had were snippets.

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10

SKETCHY BEHAVIORS | Heather Benjamin (RH)

Through her dense and detailed packed line drawings to her more focused ink brush pieces, Rhode Island based artist Heather Benjamin’s work is visceral, cathartic, and autobiographical. It offers a completely unapologetic and unflinching look into an artists’ own struggles with life, body image, self confidence, and sexuality.  We find her and her art to be inspirational, honest and badass.

We recently ran into Heather at her booth at the LA Art Book Fair and caught up with her a few months later to ask about her art, her experiences at RISD, her influences, and her thoughts about her work and her life. 

Photographs courtesy of the artist.

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So, I love how everyone is getting all into the eldritch horror visibly fae knowingly magical encounters. The descriptions are SO COOL. 

But I’ve been thinking about how our understandings of the Fair Folk originated not with people who had these super obvious encounters with this visible magic figure. Instead, they come from people attuned to the ways in which this world as it is, is magical and frightening and overwhelming, and decided that eldritch monsters were the most logical and comforting explanation. So, I’ve been thinking a lot about how so many interactions with the fair folx could happen without the student knowing it….how many of these interactions and deals may have happened already. A few true stories: My roommate joined ROTC her freshman year. Four years of university for free, for five years of military service. Don’t tell me that there is just flesh and bone under the glamour of a military uniform, under the medals worn by those who watched her sign her contract. The Fair Folk have always loved games, and to gamble your life in the future of uncertain war is certainly worth $60,000 tuition per year for four years, plus a monthly stipend.  I have a friend whose financial aid is paid by a grant from some folks from New York City. In exchange, once a year she dresses up, takes out her piercings, and goes to dinner with them.

Sit with us, tell us the stories of your studies, sing for us. Oh, you don’t sing anymore? But you sing so lovely. Sing.

At these dinners, she does not let her smile drop.  I worked with a senior who would be Successful. They did everything, could not say no, every opportunity bigger than the last and they could Do It All. Directing a musical with a full orchestra in the biggest theater, performing across town themself in a different show each weekend for months on end, five classes and a thesis. One night, drunk and at 2am, a time were the glamour drops and world blurs into honesty, they said “I am so fucking lonely.” That is a powerful trade: love as fair as can be, a beating heart, community. But they wanted to be able To Do It All and they did.  A few years ago, the school was raising money for the endowment (the school is always raising money for the endowment). They were holding a fundraising dinner, with Big Important People who must be Inspired by Students Like You in order to donate. They gathered together the most talented performers of the whole university. Dancers whose bodies defied physics, pianists who seemed to play with extra hands, singer whose voices rang inhuman. Maybe there is a reason we already had those skills, it’s hard to know. We’ve all made so many sacrifices already to end up at a school where we can get not a single credit for our talents. Maybe something is already taking its due. Still. They gathered us, and planted us through the field to mime silent excitement as the Big Important People entered the tent in a procession. They had us perform for them – but never in the way we do best. Bottle up your talent, make it look like this. Dressed us all head to toe in white. Gave clear instructions.

Hand them this book. Collect these cards. They will write a wish. If they speak to you, just smile. Do not speak back.

They had us wait behind the kitchen.

Whatever you do, do not eat the food.

The university knows how to make a deal. They know what a little Talent and a little Dignity is worth. And we already owe them so much…why not this too?  In the morning I went back to where the tent had been, only to find an empty football field.  —— I feel like I have to add that the last story is literally 100% true. The others I have taken small creative liberties with (mostly the ‘lonely’ one cause I don’t want that person to be identifiable). But this one is hundo percent reality. Nothing I could add about it would make it sound less weird. They set up this crazy huge tent for it and thousands of dollars of lights and projection equipment, and the next morning had taken down the entire thing. They had this whole projection thing that took up a side of the stadium with a video about how great the university is, except I’d never even HEARD OF most of the professors or programs they interviewed or discussed in it (like its a big uni but still). Went to go look them up the next day, but couldn’t remember the names. They had us count a specific number of steps from one section to another. They had us do a weird running pattern on the stadium stairs that was supposed to look cool but I think just opened a portal in to my own personal hell. I still have the white sneakers and sweatshirt they gave us but I legit have not worn them since that night; I’m slightly scared to wear them but somehow can’t throw them out. When the donors walked in to the tent, we literally just stood around the field jumping up and down with excitement (silently) and waving flags (silently) and for the first time I understood Artaudian horror. They had cards at their table that they were supposed to write these messages on, and then we would collect them in these books, and honestly the whole night is pretty hazy but it was weird. The whole thing was directed by Tony Award winner Diane Paulus (I swear to you this is true). Guys I’m low key pretty sure I’ve been to a revel and let me tell you, you are not a participant. You are there, but at best you are quaint entertainment, to be hidden in the corner when you’re not amusing them. You will do what they ask you (tell you). And there will be a part of you sitting on your shoulder saying, are you really doing that? And the answer will be yes, and it won’t be until after you leave that the wave will crash over you, nearly drowning you in the question, as you sputter awake asking, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK JUST HAPPENED? 

[x]

Frustrations

A Sam & Dean x Reader / smut

HAPPY SMUT APPRECIATION DAY!

A/N: Here is my contribution for Smut Appreciation Day: Vol. 2. I can’t believe it’s been a year since the first epic day. I want all of you to tag me in your filth while I’m at work today, and I promise I will read ALL of them when I get home tonight. Please let me know what you think. Happy reading (and masturbating)!

Word Count: 3,615

Warnings:
- smut. this is very graphic.
- if you don’t like reading about sexual situations, abort now.
- this is a threesome and can also be viewed as a polyamorous relationship between Sam, Dean, and reader.
- there is no wincest in this fic.
- language.
- always wear a condom, kids!

Tags: (at the end)

*gifs are not mine.

The three of you were covered in mud from head to toe. This particular hunt had gone a bit south, due to the unexpected rainstorm that had decided to fuck with your mission. Dean protested the entire way home about the state his interior was currently in, constantly pestering both you and Sam to keep your boots off the floor. Although you’d accomplished what you’d sought out to do, all of you were bickering back at forth at one another like children the entire ride home.

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anonymous asked:

So I reading chapter 90 and just WOW!!!! Is all I have to say. I love that Deku says it can't be anyone but Kirishima. But can you explain that a little more please! But only if you have time.

The timestamp on this ask tells me I’ve been thinking about it for eight hours and right this moment I just decided, fuck it, the day after the anniversary sounds like a perfect moment to lose my shit over chapter 90 again, let’s do this

So the short answer in case you don’t have time for a trip through ninety chapters of the bnha manga is, Kirishima has with Bakugou a relationship unlike nearly anyone else, based on mutual trust and faith in each other’s strength and the firm understanding that neither of them is putting themselves above the other ever, and that made it so that in the group of people present at the moment Kirishima was the only one Bakugou would have willingly accepted help from, so that’s why it had to be him 

That’s some great foundation for a mutually respectful relationship if I’ve ever seen one and my heart weeps a lot 

BUT I said I was gonna cry about this properly so let’s do this let’s just go back to the beginning of the manga anon my pal I need you to understand why everything about that chapter has me in tears still even though it’s been a year and probably a thousand read-through’s

(this is seriously image heavy I’m so sorry oops)

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We Are Young: Chapter 1

Throne of Glass High School AU

Summary: Senior Rowan Whitethorn is new to town. It doesn’t take him long to get use to a new school, make new friends, even join the local hockey team. But it also doesn’t take him long to meet sophomore and figure skater Aelin Galathynius. And it doesn’t take him long to realize one thing; he can’t stand her.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 

——————–

“Coach is going to kill you.”

Aelin had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. She glanced over at Nehemia, but the dark skinned beauty was too busy backing into a parking spot of the school parking lot to pay her any attention.

Uncle Orlon,” The car came to a stop and Aelin sent Nehemia another pointed look - “Isn’t going to kill me for added a little extra sugar in my coffee.” A pause. “Uncle Weylan might though.”

“There are several things wrong with your statement,” Lysandra spoke up from the back of the car. She leant forward to look at herself in the rearview mirror, fixing her hair as she spoke. “One, you got a gingerbread latte and added three extra packets of sugar. I wouldn’t call that ‘a little’. And two,” Lysandra turned, sending Aelin a deadly smile. “Coach Weylan will definitely kill you when he finds out.”

If he finds out.” Aelin smirked, taking a big sip of her over sugared drink.

Keep reading

Anon: can you do an analysis on 2013-2014 ji/kook please? thank you!

Anon: Do you think there’s a relation between Jungkook’s change of behavior towards Jimin from when he was underage to when he finally turned 20??? I feel like after finally not being underage anymore, that’s when he really changed and got bolder, shy-less and stuff.. He wasn’t like this, and now he’s.. Well, basically killing us with everything he does.    

Anon: Do you think that Jimin’s fainting incident was a turning point for kook/min? I always thought that JK seemed to be a lot sweeter and softer with Jimin after that, but i could just be imagining things so I wanted a second opinion :) love you!!                    

Anon: you are my favourite kook/min blog!! kekekeke i was wondering what you think of tsundere!kook thinking that taking off his jacket for yoonji is cool when he did the same thing for jimin during their WoH shoot :))) 

That’s right: I’m going to answer all these questions and comments in one long essay. I’m not kidding. This is like.. really long. It’s Jungkook-centric and head canon-heavy. Bring your tinfoil hats.

Keep reading

Truth Through The Lies

Come on guys! Why do you keep doing this to yourselves? Every time something new comes out, some in this fandom forget everything else we’ve learned, and have a full fledged freak out. I honestly don’t think the situation is as bad as the narrative leads us to believe.

I have avoided saying this, because it sounds awful, but it’s the truth, so I’m going to say it…The Entertainment Industry, as a whole, but especially the Music Industry turns their artists into professional liars. The Artists don’t lie to us because they want to, they do it because they have to.

Here’s the honest truth. In the Music Industry, the only thing that’s important, even more important than the music, is the narrative and Image of the Artist. The Industry has proven time and time again, that talent isn’t everything. There have been plenty of money made by artists, that in all honesty, couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. Yet, they become successful money makers, because of the Image and the narrative sold to the public.

Keep reading

Let's Pretend (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Epilogue ❤️

A/N: Here it is you guys! The Epilogue! *cries historically* I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who’ve stuck with this story! It’s my first series and y'all are hella awesome for all the positivity!! 😭❤ Pls excuse any misspelling! And most of all, enjoy! - Delilah ❤

Xxxxxxx


“Ms. Y/L/N,” Friday chimed. “Mr. Barnes requests your presence in his room.”

You couldn’t stop the grin that spread on your face. Bucky and you were an official couple now, and you couldn’t help but feel as though the world was twice the better place than before. You’d never say it out loud, but you were falling for him. And you were falling hard.

Giving Friday a subtle okay, you made your way down the corridors to Bucky’s room. As you walked, the memories of your drunken endeavors replayed in your mind. In some weird way, you had Tony to thank. If he hadn’t have stumbled upon Let’s Pretend, you and Bucky wouldn’t be in the very happy relationship that you were currently in.

Opening the door, you were met with the sight of your boyfriend on his bed, the laptop once again on his lap. He grinned at the sight of you and patted the empty space on the bed beside him. He looked so handsome it was almost painful.

“What’s up?” You ask, sliding into the space and throwing an arm over his middle. You rested your head on his shoulder and looked at the glowing screen.

“The fans are going psychotic over the videos,” he says, peering down at you with a smile. And he was right. The video had been posted two days ago and the entire site was losing their minds. The three videos were released at the same time, but of course, the real one was the highest in views.

The fans were literally divided. The first half argued that the first video was real because of the subliminal messages (even though there were none). The other half believed that the third video was real, based on the fact that instead of the usual background, the video took place in a swimming pool; thankfully they were wrong as well.

Now the third half, those were the smart ones. Instead of looking at the whole plot, they noticed small details. Like how Bucky’s hair was shorter the last time he wore the 40’s uniform. Why would he have longer hair? Why couldn’t one of the girls shapeshift him with short hair?

Another huge giveaway was your tattoo on your hip. You hadn’t told anyone that you had it, even your close friends didn’t know. So when the fans caught a glimpse of the small heart on your hip, it raised some eyebrows.

But despite all of the solid evidence, the fans were certain it was real, not because of the physicality, but the chemistry. You and Bucky were in love and it only made sense that your first time would be rather passionate. In the previous videos, it was mostly sexual playfulness between your characters. But when they saw the way your eyes stared into Bucky’s with pure passion and the way he made you orgasm so hard that you cried, they instantly knew.

The comment section was an adorable war zone.

LuckyDucky97:
“@NuggetQueenxx no it’s the first vid! Her hair is darker!!”

Mr.PizzaGod123:
“U guyz r hella dumb. It’s totes vid #3. Bucky’s dick is bigger!”

WadeWilson1982:
“Guys trust me, I’m THE Y/N expert! It’s the second video.”

WhiskeyxPrincess
“It’s the second vid y'all! Look @ how he kisses her! They never kiss!!!!”

TunaMaster99:
“@WhiskeyxPrincess I SAID THE SAME THING OMG!”

CindyTheFairyQueen:
“It’s definitely the third one. Bucky’s arm looks shinier!”

Bucky-Owns-This-Azz:
“Nah the first one is real. My friend knows them! (;“

TheRedQueen:
“@Bucky-Owns-This-Azz LIAR!”


You and Bucky continued scrolling through the comments, giggling like children at the crazed fans. As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t reach out to them. If word got out that The Winter Soldier and Y/N Y/L/N had a sextape, no one would take the Avengers seriously anymore.

Not to mention, your family would be extremely disappointed in you. And Tony would be there cackling like a crow through all of it.

You felt Bucky press a tender kiss onto your forehead.

“At least we look hot,” he says cheekily, making you both erupt in laughter.

Xxxxxxx

A week later, Bucky’s in Tony’s lab getting his usual repairs for his arm. Everything was going great, until Tony brought up his beloved missing camera that he had mysteriously stumbled upon in his old room.

Bucky nearly fell off the chair. He must’ve forgotten it after moving out of his room. You both decided that he should keep the camera, as he’d be suspected less. Everyone always suspected you when it came down to missing stuff and you never knew why.

“Maybe you left it there?” Bucky murmured. He needed to stay calm. Maybe he hadn’t seen it yet, and all Bucky need to do was sneak back in there later and delete it. Problem solved! No need to lose his head ye-

“I found a rather interesting video on there,” Tony says with a smirk as he tinkered with the super soldier’s arm. “Care to elaborate on that?”

Oh God, Y/N was going to murder him.

“I don’t know what your talking about,” Bucky meant for it to be a plain statement, but instead it came out like a question. A very squeaky question.

It’s as if life had a personal vendetta against him. Of all the people to need assistance from Tony, Steve walked in, broken iPhone in hand with a small sheepish smile. This was the fourth time cracking his screen.

“Speak of the devil,” Tony smirked. “Bucky here was just telling me about the ol’ war days.”

Steve cocked his head to the side curiously and eyed his best friend. “Oh really? You’re memories are getting better, Buck.” He pats his friend on the shoulder and pulls up one of the metal stools.

“Yeah! He was telling me about the time you got shot up and the nearest hospital was like….ten years away, haha!”

Oh no….

Steve followed Tony’s laugh with his own. “You’re gonna have to be more specific about that,” he says. “It’s happened more than I can count.”

Tony let out a cackle, clapping his hands together. Bucky was never going to get out of this. Why did life hate him so much? This is not what he had in mind when it came to karma. Death by humiliation sounded like an inane way to go.

“Well, from this particular story, a LOT happened after that, if you catch my drift.” The black haired man said with a wink. Bucky covered his face with his hands in shame.

Steve, being the pure angel he was, was completely oblivious to the innuendo. He stared at his friend, trying to recall the many near death experiences that ended in anything peculiar. But alas, he found none.

“I’m not following,” Steve admitted after a pregnant pause. Bucky let out a sigh of despair.

“You know what,” Tony says, walking to his toolbox and digging around. “I think this’ll help refresh your memory a bit.” In his hand, was THE camera that Bucky and Y/N used for the video.

“YOU KNOW WHAT,” Bucky exclaimed as he stood from the chair and began to drag Steve away. “I FORGOT WE HAD TRAINING!”

Steve wiggled in his friend’s grasp, grabbing onto various things in an attempt to make him stop. What had gotten into his friend?

“What the hell is going on?” You say, crossing your arms over your chest.

The three men freeze, staring at you with wide eyes. Tony didn’t plan on having this conversation with you present, but now he had no choice. He might’ve been a egotistical little shit, but he was certainly not a whimp.

You narrowed your eyes at him.

Okay, maybe he was a little bit.

“Tony was just trying to show me this video Bucky made for me, but he won’t let me see.” Steve replied, straightening himself up.

Your eyes widened when you saw the camera in Tony’s hand. “It’s really nothing, Steve!” You tried your best to convince him. “Like, really. Nothing.”

“Oh, it’s definitely SOMETHING.” Tony chimed in.

You shot Bucky a panicked glance, trying to fight the urge to cry. You just KNEW Tony would do something with it. He might go as far as posting it on the Stark Industries website, because that’s right up his alley.

The sound of metal being crushed broke you from your trance. Bucky had grabbed the camera from Tony’s hand and slammed it into the floor, shattering it into a million tiny pieces.

“WHAT THE FUCK, BARNES!” He shouted, his face turning an angry scarlet.

Without another word, Bucky had scooped you up and threw you over his shoulder, running as fast as he could out of the lab. The last thing you heard was Tony’s angry swears and threats.

Impressively, Bucky didn’t let you down until you both were in the safety of your shared room with the door locked. He set you on the bed gently before plopping beside you with a satisfied sigh.

You turned to him and gave him a small smack on his behind, making him jump. He frowned, turning his head and looking at you.

“I told you like ten times to pack the camera!” You pouted, narrowing your eyes at your boyfriend.

“I’m sorry, doll,” he sighed, propping himself up on his elbow. “You know how forgetful I can be.”

You roll your eyes playfully and run your hands through his hair. He leaned into your touch, putting softly.

“You know,” you say. “We could always make videos on our phones. No one will find those.”

His eyes flew open in surprise, making you laugh.

“You promise?” He asks adorably.

“Promise.”

Xxxxxxx

Steve and Natasha stared at the purple fluorescent background of Let’sPretend.com. Their eyes trailed over video after video of the pair. But what caught their attention the most was a certain video in particular.

“Captain America Gets A Fourth of July Blowjob By Black Widow!”

The thumbnail was a picture of Natasha with her finger on her lips in a shushing motion. She was dressed in only a bikini with little American flags printed on them, the top was a few sizes too small and barely covered her nipples. She was kneeling seductively in front of a semi nude Steve, who was wearing only the same white cotton briefs from before.

And dare she say it, they looked hot.

The blond took her silence as a sign of discomfort, to which he let out a small cough, gaining her attention.

“I-I’m sorry if this is too weird,” he says, reaching for the laptop, only to be stopped by Nat.

She grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls him closer, ghosting her lips against his.

“You’ve got two minutes, Cap. When get back here I want you on your hands and knees. Got it?” She asks, her eyes burning with desire.

Steve’s eyes widened at her sudden dominance before nodding, his erection already forming a tent in his gray sweatpants.

“Yes, Mistress.”


FIN. ❤


Tag List of Super Cool People That Are Awesome!!

@harleyscheekheart
@seb-smut @thatweirdgaygirl @bucky-sempai @justareader @the-winter-avengerrrrr @xxchexchickxx @karipaleta @jasontoddismydaddy @supersoldier-buckybarnes @buckybarnesbestbabe @ifyouseekatex @kaitskennedyy @stormyfandoms @brutalwerewolf @aisabel7 @cecifina @readerfans @simplyme8308 @mystery94 @megandrawsspace @amrita31199 @uninspiredjedi @loveyourselfcreateyourself @miraisnotavailable @harrisbn @typical0001 @jasura @genlovesdcb @milychetto @writemarvelousthings @jaymejoyful @hellsingonit @mycapt-ohcapt

anonymous asked:

How about a blurb where harry shows his girlfriend how he edits/records a song etc? it could be cute/fluffy/smutty ??

I could hear the soft rumble of bass coming from the basement the moment I opened the front door which meant one thing.  Harry was downstairs in the studio.  Usually I avoided going down there when he was in creative mode.  I didn’t want to bother him or get in the way.  He always used to tell me how hard it was for him to get going on an idea so I didn’t want to take him out of the zone.

But today, today was different.  I had spent the morning arguing with my mother about living in Harry’s house even though we weren’t married.  She was a southern belle and you “just didn’t do that” where she came from.

The afternoon was a series of one meeting after another where the males in my company felt it necessary to speak to me as if I were stupid.

And somewhere in the middle was a lunch that I spilled on myself after the fork went through they styrofoam.

I needed comfort, closeness, familiarity.

I needed Harry.

Was it selfish?  To go downstairs and interrupt him just because I’d had a bad day?  It was.  I admit it.  But I just needed a few minutes of cuddling while he kissed my hair and held me close.  I promised myself I’d go right back upstairs and leave him alone.

I crept down the stairs as silently as possible, making my way to the door.  I heard the playback of a song he had probably just laid down the voice track for.  Perfect timing for me to get in and get out.

I knocked twice,

“Baby?”

“Come on in, Love.”  He said without hesitation.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Holy shit I love your analysis' of Jimin and Namjoon!! Would you mind doing one for Jungkook as well? I know a lot of people were confused as to why Namjoon put him in Ravenclaw over Gryffindor/Slytherin.

Hello~

It’s really weird for me that you guys actually care about and value my opinions  on this whole business so thank you so much for giving my ramblings the time of day omg

for those who are wondering about my thoughts on gryffindor!namjoon and slytherin!jimin here’s the links to those:

Namjoon as a Gryffindor || Jimin as a Slytherin


So like, I really. really. really. love the idea of Ravenclaw Jeon. (But listen… I used to be a hardcore Slytherin!Jeon person okay, so I understand your feels on this. I do.) 

 here goes nothing

Ravenclaw Jungkook confused a lot of people. And I really get it because Ravenclaw was so fucking shafted in the books. 

We had so many Gryffindors and Slytherins to relate to, and we had a fair share of badass Hufflepuffs (TONKS) to base our opinions off of. But there were only a few Ravenclaws that were given the time of day in the books, and only one of those was a major character. We had Luna, Trelawney, Lockehart, and Cho. Cho’s amazing character was wasted by JK – she was written with the personality of a dish rag and didn’t really get the spotlight she deserved. Trelawney was presented as a crazy old lady who sometimes ?? served a purpose. Lockehart was an idiot. All we really had was Luna.

But it wasn’t just the characters. Ravenclaw has a really weird reputation. Before I wrote this, I asked a bunch of my casual and hardcore HP fan friends to tell me the characteristics they associated with each house. And I got pretty much what I expected:

  • Gryffindor: Leaders, brave, courageous, brash, strong
  • Slytherin: Cunning, resourceful, calculating, perfectionists
  • Hufflepuff: Loyal, kind, hard-working, determination, cheerful
  • Ravenclaw: Smart…?? they are… smart people?? They do things…….smartly……

Like for real. Whenever I asked people what traits they associated with Ravenclaw, all anyone was ever able to tell me was that Ravenclaws were supposedly smart. And that’s got a lot to do with the fact that when the sorting hat sings off about all the houses, it lists all these great traits for the other houses, but when it comes to Ravenclaw it says this:

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you’ve a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind.

And then the books go on to say that Ravenclaws are,

characterised by their wit, intelligence, and wisdom.

So maybe you’re like me, and I am REALLY guilty of this, but when I first read this in the books I kinda just thought these all meant the same thing. So maybe that’s where we got this idea that all Ravenclaws are good for are being smart.

But it wasn’t until I looked up the actual definition of each word that I realized these were all saying really different things:

Intelligence - the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.
Wit - a natural aptitude for using words and ideas in a quick and inventive way to create humor.
Wisdom - the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment; the quality of being wise.

^^^^this is just webster dictionary definitions here. The bolded words are the ones I want to focus on.

Skill. See – Ravenclaws are supposedly smart. But this doesn’t always have to mean BOOKSMART, and I think that’s where we had a lot of trouble with Jeon. No one is saying he is dumb or anything, but he’s no Namjoon.

Notable examples of this trait include Lockehart, who was pretty shitty at a lot of things, but had the street smarts enough to pass off his big whole scam for years and years, and was especially gifted in certain charms.

Then there’s Luna, who while shown to be really good at solving riddles, was also portrayed as really physically skilled. In Dumbledore’s Army, while being taught how to conjure a Patronus by Harry, Luna was the first to get it right. She was fourteen at the time, and was such a skilled witch that she was able to perform an incredibly difficult charm - that even adults had trouble with - after like…….mere minutes of teaching.

Does this sound like someone you know?? I’ll give you an example: Observe this VERY determined Hufflepuff not give up on his dreams and finally have all his hard work pay off… only for someone to come in and get it right almost instantly.

Or maybe… “Hey guys, this dance move you made up looks pretty cool – mind if I watch you do it like once and a half and then nail it instantly?”

And if you’re ever in doubt about just how skilled Jungkook is… remember that he turned down seven other agencies to join BigHit. That’s how many people were after him and recognized his talent. (This also ties in to my thoughts on the part about good judgement – Jungkook obviously saw a lot of potential in Namjoon and BigHit in general, so much so that he turned down tons of other companies to be there. He saw something a lot of other people did not… and it ended up being the best decision he ever made.)

But I think another really telling aspect of Jungkook’s Ravenclaw personality is that he isn’t always perfect at everything. He’s not always good at something right away – but that won’t stop him working really hard to get good

In Rookie King he was shown to be at the most pretty average at bowling. He wasn’t terrible, but he was about as good as you and I would be after playing a few rounds with a little luck. Well, Golden Maknae Jungkook could not stand to not be the best at something, so he mentions sometime later (13:10) that he’s hired a coach to teach him how to bowl…. and then just a few months later uploads a video of himself getting a strike like it’s no god damn big deal at all. And he looks pretty proud of himself too.

But all the major Ravenclaws were also shown time and time and time again as being a little…. scatterbrained. Luna, Lockehart, and Trelawney especially, and to an extent even Cho. And Jungkook is no exception. He’s… pretty gullible. And DEFINITELY scatterbrained.

But wit, intelligence, and wisdom are not the only three traits associated with Ravenclaw. There are a lot of other traits you may not really know about, because again – Ravenclaws were woefully under-represented in the series. There’s quite a few others listed for this house:

  • Creative
  • Individuality
  • Eccentric
  • Quirky
  • Jealousy/Envy
  • Competitive

So imma just go down the list because I’m really tired and I can’t made good word things rn

Creative

it’s no secret that Jungkook is a pretty talented artist. He’s a pretty damn good photographer too. (This will always be one of my favorite photos ever of Jimin – and Jungkook took it.) And he’s a talented lyricist as well. He’s an extremely good dancer and has a beautiful voice too – but you guys know this already.

Individuality

Take a look at how he expresses his individuality through his song covers.

Eccentric & Quirky

You guys thought the fact that Lockehart, Trelawney, and even heckin Luna were all in the same house was a coincidence? Ravenclaws are NOTORIOUS for being Extra™ . I’m not kidding! This is literally a personality trait of Ravenclaws that we overlook so often from these weirdos. And Jeon fuckin Jungkook invented the word eccentric:


you’d be here forever if i kept going so… you get the point. eccentric is jungkook’s middle name.

Jealousy/Envy

Jeonlous exists in this god forsaken fandom, and I ain’t gonna link it and open THAT can of worms, but if you’re feeling so inclined and care to enter the seventh circle of hell, feel free to look it up… but tread carefully.

Competitive

When I got the first ask about Ravenclaw Kook I had woken up at 3am and sleepily looked at my emails. I saw the ask and immediately had to jot down my ideas to keep for the next day, and all I managed to write in my sleep stupor was this

and then i promptly fell back asleep.

I was referring to this, and if you don’t feel bad for poor Jin in this situation I don’t know what to tell you. Jungkook is intensely competitive, even over small things like board games. He was so intent on winning that game that he literally assaulted someone five years his senior to sabotage them.

And then this is him trying to win a dance-off… doing the most, as usual.

And also?? He was literally banned from the gym because he was getting too buff. And look at him take out that guy in wrestling… and then demolish poor Jimin, the smallest member of BTS in arm wrestling when he could have… you know… let him win or something……

It’s a pretty well known meme within the fandom that Jungkook is competitive and always trying to outdo the others.



But when it comes down to it, Ravenclaws are still known for being smart, right? We can take all these other traits and apply them to Jeon but what about his brain?

He’s actually kinda smart. He is able to cover a song in perfect English even though he doesn’t speak the language all that well (but well enough to constantly correct others’ English and he’s good enough to tell you he’s really not all that interested in participating in English Time anyways)

And I mean…. he can outsmart the other members pretty well…………..


But I think one of the most important things to note about Jungkook being in Ravenclaw is to look at who sorted him, Namjoon: Namjoon himself gave Jungkook the nickname “Golden Maknae”. He is constantly saying that Jungkook can do anything, or watch this Jungkook can do this, or wow look at him go, or he’s so talented this and that. Is it really any surprise that Namjoon would put Jungkook in to a house known for being highly skilled when he believes no less of the kid?

Jungkook has some pretty Slytherin-like qualities – but tons of canon HP characters and the BTS members themselves have traits that are shared by all four houses. It’s just a matter of where he fits best.

I mean TL;DR, Jeon says it best himself:

gif credit: bwiskook

You’ve heard of 110% Jack Zimmermann, now get ready for

0% Jack Zimmermann.

  • There’s a cookout at a neighboring frat house, and the hockey team plus Farmer go to hang out and drink beer. They start playing an impromptu game of volleyball in the yard, and Jack’s on Chowder’s team.
  • Now, Chowder is steeling himself for strategy, Jack’s murder face, and a lot of competitive bullshit.
  • What he gets is Jack chirping Holster, who isn’t even in the yard. The ball goes flying right past Jack’s face and this total meatball just watches it bounce out of bounds.
  • “Ha ha, look at it go.”
  • Chowder kicks Jack off his team because they are losing so bad, it’s actually pretty embarrassing. And Jack’s like, “What? Of course I can play with a Sprite in my hand.”
  • “Jack no.”
  • Also consider:
  • Jack studying for a class that he has zero interest in. His studying for economics looks an awful lot like amateur architecture.
  • “Jack, why is there a popsicle stick Eiffel Tower on the kitchen table? Wait, where did these popsicle sticks even come from?”
  • Jack actually gives negative fucks when it comes to cooking just for himself. His meals don’t even make sense half of the time. Bitty caught him eating a bowl of mac and cheese, tater tots, green peas and ketchup once. He still has nightmares.
  • There’s another cookout on Frat row that the hockey team crashes (but they bring tub juice so they get to stay). Someone set up a badminton net in the yard and Jack somehow gets roped into playing.
  • (Not by Chowder, though, because that’s the kind of lesson you only have to learn once.)
  • Bitty is playing his little Southern heart out, running up and down his side of the makeshift court. He swings at the birdie so hard it actually gets stuck in his racket.
  • Meanwhile, Jack is seeing if he can balance his racket on his chin.
  • And then he tries to see if he can whack the birdie onto the frat house’s roof. Which turns into several people cussing him out and Bitty chases him around for a few minutes with the intent of beating Jack Zimmermann’s ass.
  • (Jack laughs and laughs and maybe he lets Bitty catch him and then he grins up at him—there had been a leaping tackle involved in the take down—and he says “What’re you gonna do with me now, Bittle?” And Bitty is Not Amused, so he pinches Jack’s nipple hard and then he goes help the frat bros get the birdie out of the gutter.)
  • Jack loves history, but only some history. He gives a lengthy presentation on Colonial North America in one of his history classes, and at the end the TA raises her hand. “How did Thomas Jefferson’s contributions shift the course of United States history?”
  • And he just squints at her and goes, “Who the fuck is Thomas Jefferson?”
  • Watching TV with Jack is a gamble. He’s either on the edge of his seat, eyes trained on the screen, ready to permanently silence anyone who dares speak/interrupt his show. Or he talks over the TV, puts it on mute to better hear someone else talk over the TV, and makes fun of the various American accents on the show.
  • (Jack’s southern accent is so bad and he knows it, and he makes it so much worse when Bitty is around to hear it. It’s all fun and games until a French Canadian on TV has something to say, and then Jack’s all like “Wtf, Bitty? I thought we were friends!?” Bitty is really glad he sprung for throw pillows in the Haus, because otherwise he would end up concussing his captain.)
  • Jack took one semester of Spanish, and he remembers a surprising amount of it, considering he went to class a total of six times and did virtually none of the work. His Spanish is terrible, but he knows numbers, colors, seasons and “No bueno.” For some time, lots of things were “no bueno.”
  • But then Jack stumbled across ASL via YouTube and he gets super into it. By the end of the week he knows about as much ASL as he does Spanish. By the end of the month he can sign the most beautiful profanity and dad jokes. By the end of the school year it’s started rubbing off on the rest of the team.
  • (Their butchered ASL is somehow worse than Jack’s Spanish, and he would be more annoyed if it weren’t hilarious. For some time Ransom and Holster take to pointing at good things and then making the sign for “candy.” Sriracha? Candy. Apple pie? Candy. The mysterious orange cat that wanders along Frat Row? Candy. Chowder’s stuffed shark? Candy. The latest episode of Breaking Bad? Candy. Pretty soon everyone starts using the candy sign as a gesture of approval. One Sunday Jack walks down to the kitchen to find Bitty making those amazing sausage balls, with real maple syrup and grated sharp cheddar. Jack touches his shoulder so that Bitty’s looking at him and then he presses a finger to his jaw, candy, and points to Bitty so there’s no misunderstanding. Bitty blushes clear to the roots of his hair, even when he says, “Y’all are so weird.”)
  • This takes us to a new friend. Ransom and Holster and Jack and Chowder are chilling in the dining hall, and Ransom and Holster are using their terrible pidgin ASL (half the signs are made up and the rest don’t matter) which catches the eye of one Amy Willashire, who is HOH and still pretty new to Samwell.
  • Amy marches her happy ass up to the table and starts signing away, a mile a minute, the biggest grin on her face because sometimes it feels like she’s the only HOH student on campus. That grin slowly fades as Ransom and Holster stare at her like she’s grown a second head. (They’re actually panicking, because they understand about one word in ten and how are they going to tell her that?)
  • And then Jack perks up and starts signing back, so Amy is signing to him. He has to tell her twice to slow tf down, but then she sits with them and by the time the hockey crew have to go to class she’s chirping Jack for his ASL accent. (Some of his signs come out backwards, and he’ll swap hands halfway through a thought instead of using his dominant hand for most of the work. Jack flips her off with a laugh, which is a sign everyone can get right.)
  • So Jack and Amy are ASL buddies. Amy is super stoked that most of the hockey team knows at least some of the language, which means she can tell them something in a pinch. So the team learns even more ASL and Amy learns about hockey, and things are golden.
  • Until Amy invites Jack and Dex to a pool party. Everyone there is at least one beer in, and they’re playing in the pool, and someone mentions water chicken. Amy wants to play, so as a matter of course she clambers onto Jack’s shoulders.
  • From her vantage point, she can’t tell what Jack’s saying but she can feel him giggling like a bastard as they wipe out literally every time, to the point where everyone else is playing pool chicken and she is trying to splash Jack into next week. He’s splashing back. It’s a whole thing.
  • (They find Dex in the basement with a few of the stoners and a lingering smell of pot. Dex has finally found his chill.)
  • That is what 0% Jack Zimmermann looks like.