another case of females eating the males

The unbearable daintiness of women who eat with men.

By Kate Handley

A substantial body of literature suggests that women change what they eat when they eat with men. Specifically, women opt for smaller amounts and lower-calorie foods associated with femininity. So, some scholars argue that women change what they eat to appear more feminine when dining with male companions.

For my senior thesis, I explored whether women change the way they eat alongside what they eat when dining with a male vs. female companion. To examine this phenomenon, I conducted 42 hours of non-participant observation in two four-star American restaurants in a large west coast city in the United States. I observed the eating behaviors of 76 Euro-American women (37 dining with a male companion and 39 dining with a female companion) aged approximately 18 to 40 to identify differences in their eating behaviors.

I found that women did change the way they ate depending on the gender of their dining companion. Overall, when dining with a male companion, women typically constructed their bites carefully, took small bites, ate slowly, used their napkins precisely and frequently, and maintained good posture and limited body movement throughout their meals. In contrast, women dining with a female companion generally constructed their bites more haphazardly, took larger bites, used their napkins more loosely and sparingly, and moved their bodies more throughout their meals.

On the size of bites, here’s an excerpt from my field notes:

Though her plate is filled, each bite she labors onto her fork barely fills the utensil. Perhaps she’s getting full because each bite seems smaller than the last… and still she’s taking tiny bites. Somehow she has made a single vegetable last for more than five bites.

I also observed many women who were about to take a large bite but stopped themselves. Another excerpt:

She spreads a cracker generously and brings it to her mouth. Then she pauses for a moment as though she’s sizing up the cracker to decide if she can manage it in one bite. After thinking for a minute, she bites off half and gently places the rest of the cracker back down on her individual plate.

Stopping to reconstruct large bites into smaller ones is a feminine eating behavior that implies a conscious monitoring of bite size. It indicates that women may deliberately change their behavior to appear more feminine.

I also observed changes in the ways women used their napkins when dining with a male vs. female companion. When their companion was a man, women used their napkins more precisely and frequently than when their companion was another woman. In some cases, the woman would fold her napkin into fourths before using it so that she could press the straight edge of the napkin to the corners of her mouth. Other times, the woman would wrap the napkin around her finger to create a point, then dab it across her mouth or use the point to press into the corners of her mouth. Women who used their napkins precisely also tended to use them quite frequently:

Using her napkin to dab the edges of her mouth – finger in it to make a tiny point, she is using her napkin constantly… using the point of the napkin to specifically dab each corner of her mouth. She is using the napkin again even though she has not taken a single bite since the last time she used it… using napkin after literally every bite as if she is constantly scared she has food on her mouth. Using and refolding her napkin every two minutes, always dabbing the corners of her mouth lightly.

In contrast, women dining with a female companion generally used their napkins more loosely and sparingly. These women did not carefully designate a specific area of the napkin to use, and instead bunched up a portion of it in one hand and rubbed the napkin across their mouths indiscriminately.

Each of the behaviors observed more frequently among women dining with a male companion versus a female one was stereotypically feminine. Many of the behaviors that emerged as significant among women dining with a female companion, on the other hand, are considered non-feminine, i.e. behaviors that women are instructed to avoid. Behavioral differences between the two groups of women suggest two things. First, women eat in a manner more consistent with normative femininity when in the presence of a male versus a female companion. And, second, gender is something that people perform when cued to do so, not necessarily something people internalize and express all the time.

Of onis and men

@greenhairedninja

Zenyatta had run. He knew he had run from all his duties… but what was he supposed to do? It had begun slowly. His brothers had noticed a demon sneaking around his quarters. They had put up wards against it but no one had been able to predict the wave of demons that were soon to follow. In his desperation to not burden and drag his brothers along with him Zenyatta had fled. He had become a wandering monk and everyday he had to break the vow not to hurt another being, in this case another demon.

Different demons wanted different things. Some wanted to eat him, kill him in their desire for power. Others were more… sexual in their intent. The murderous demons were easy as one could defeat them by fighting. It was the other kind that was far more difficult even for a monk as virtuous as Zenyatta. Until this day he had managed to avoid the seduction of many demons, both male and female. A trained mind will make me survive this, Zenyatta thought.

He was sitting in a small cottage that he had so kindly been given by an old lady to rest over the night in. Zenyatta was meditating deeply when he suddenly heard a slight scratching sound. He tried to ignore it, focusing on steeling his mind but when it came again he opened his eyes to look around. The only thing that could be seen was the shadows of the candle light and the slight moonbeams shining through the window. Maybe it just had been his imagination….

The Underworld

Why is the ruler of the Greek underworld called Hades?
Hades (Aidou “of Hades”) meaning “the unseen one”, is the place where the souls go after death. Aidoneus is a striking similar name (Aidouneus, Aidou “of Hades”, -neus is maybe neos “young one”; what? Hades’ young one? Does that even make sense?)


Hades (Aidou) starts as the name of a place. The Land of the Unseen, a dark, windless place where the dead go. Then it becomes the name of its ruler, Hades first-born of Kronos and Rhea (respectively the deification of the concept of linear time and of the earth fertility). In other versions the eldest is Hestia, Hades the second-born, but he is the first son anyway. He gains the epithet polydegmos “receiver of many”, for being the “host” to his own sibling as they get swallowed by their father.

I don’t really get how naming your first son as the place where the dead go could sound like a good idea. Unless…

When Kronos is king on Olympus, what’s exactly going on with humans? At the beginning of his reign its seems like things were going very smoothly. It’s the Golden Age: humans do not need to cook their food, or hunting it; there is no need for work. Everything is ready when they need it.

One myth says that humans gained mortality when they started killing for food, and thus eating death itself while consummating the meat of their preys. The Greeks seemed aware of the whole ordeal “I eat food, the food turns into blood”, thus they define the gods as “deathless and bloodless” (in their veins runs “ichor”), since they consummate ambrosia and do not need to kill for sustenance. [i’ll probably need to talk about this more extensively, in another post]

So, during the reign of Kronos humans do not die?

It seems like this is the case, since they are not killing for food. This humans, they were different from us. They probably didn’t have a distinction between females and males (if we follow the myth of Pandora, the first woman was created only under the reign of Zeus). Only the gods are in possession of the necessary sophistication to recognize a feminine and a masculine, but a straight-forward definition of male and female as contrappose seems unlikely: they may present themselves as more towards one side of the spectrum, but they don’t appear very keen on being one or the other (they often change sex/gender). [another thing to talk about in another post. someday.]

Anyway.

The underworld is called “Aidou”, genitive. So this place was probably nameless before, and not used to store souls. There was Tartarus, yes, but not the Underworld. So it gets its name from its ruler, Hades. This is the land of Hades. Why give a child this kind of name? Because he is hidden from sight, after being swallowed by Kronos. Hades is the guardian of a prison, Tartarus, and the accountant of the dead when humans starts dying. He gets the lot that seems less valuable and turns it into the biggest kingdom of the three (the dead outnumber the living).

anonymous asked:

I'm writing a story for fun but I don't know how to write guy characters. I have the plot down and I know that I want my main three characters to be a butler (of sorts), a duke and a duchess. Any tips? thanks!

Speaking as a duke myself, I can offer some input here, which is: people aren’t defined by their gender. A guy can be needy and sensitive and cry at the drop of a hat, or a girl can have commitment issues and like to eat her weight in barbecue every Thursday. Gender stereotypes have given rise to the absolutely absurd notion that writers (esp. female writers) have no business writing in the voice of a character of the opposite/another gender. Case study: my sophomore year of college I had a creative writing professor who told me about halfway through the semester that I wasn’t allowed to write any more male narrators. So, because I didn’t want to sacrifice my grade for the principle, for my final story in his class I wrote a female narrator. Know what the first thing he said to me was? “Your narrator sounds like a man.” 

First of all, fuck that guy. But more to the point: a character’s gender shouldn’t define them. Worry more about who they are, not what’s between their legs. 

That being said, yes, it can be difficult to put yourself in the headspace of someone who’s spent their whole life living by a different set of societal rules. And like anything else in writing, what it comes down to is research. Read a wide variety of male characters written by a wide variety of male authors. Talk to the men in your life. Ask “What would you do in this situation?” But always always remember that no one person can speak for a whole gender. Different guys will give you different answers, and their answers are all equally valid. If you’re still not sure after doing some Q&A, look at it again and instead of asking, “What would a man do?” ask “What would this person do?”

Hope this helps!