(one) about the aro/ace thing: i totally agree with you! i was around 15 when i started questioning my sexuality (i'm bi but like 80%gay at this point lol) and i read about a lot of sexualities to understand myself. then i stumbled accros asexuality, and it fit me "perfectly". i didn't think about having sex/crave it or whatever, BUT i was 15. 3 years later i've come to realize that a) i really was too young to "know", and b) most of my fears about having sex stem from my own insecurities.
(two) but when all these people around me, the same age or even younger were also identifying as ace i really thought that that had to be the case. at first it felt great to finally identify as something (i was still scared of saying i was bi). however, when time went by i got worried that i’d change my mind and people would call me an attention seeker (i didn’t even tell anyone) so i almost felt like i had to be ace and couldn’t even think about other options for a few years.
(three) well then i basically grew up, realized that i wasn’t mature enough back then (some might be) and understood that i do want to have sex when i find the right person (even with women, which felt scary at first). if i hadn’t read so much about asexuality in the first place i don’t think that i’d have doubted myself. talking about sex/what we want to do in bed with is one of the most nicest things and i’m so glad i got over myself. sorry for so many long messages, i just needed to say this
thank u for sharing this!!! its a rly good example of that i was talking abt. the argument was never abt that asexuality doesnt exist (which it does) or that its impossible to know that ur ace when ur younger (which it isnt), its abt what it does to ppl who wrongly identify themselves as ace and how it keeps them from growing