Imagine Running and Hiding From Bones to Avoid an Exam

Originally posted by fuckyeahteamjones

Prompt: Bones x reader where she’s running/hiding from Bones to avoid her exam

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1289

Author’s Note: Look! I’m writing again! This one is a little on the longer side but I figured it’s ok given the amount of time I’d gone without posting. Enjoy!

You hated your annual medical exams. You were never sick, you were scared of needles and hypos, so your solution was to avoid the check-ups for as long as possible, which was easier said than done when you’re dating the freaking CMO. Every time Bones came into sight you either hid or ran, and since your appointment was scheduled for almost two weeks ago, the two of you hadn’t seen much of each other lately. 

Today you were busy working on something down in engineering with Scotty when you hear the sound of an annoyed southern man call out your name from the platform above you. You take one glance up to see Bones starting to climb down the stairs before bolting again. You hear him sigh and the sound of Scotty laughing as you quickly make your escape out of engineering. You sprint down the hallway, and you grab a doorframe to help swing yourself around the corner. You keep running until you find the entrance to the hangar, and you quickly find a shuttle to hide behind. You watch as Bones runs into the hangar and scans the room.

“C’mon darlin’, it’ll only take a couple minutes!” He calls out, but you stay hidden away. He sighs and runs a hand down his face before beginning to search for you. Suddenly someone taps you on your shoulder and puts their hand over your mouth right as you’re about to scream. You spin around and see Jim behind you, trying to keep himself from laughing.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Tip for the anon who wrote about visiting the gyn: I now go to Planned Parenthood because they are careful with terminology and try to distract me when doing my annual female health exam. I had the same problem with visiting a traditional gynecologist, but PP is really great if you're trans. I also told myself I could stay in bed, eat PB&J sandwiches and binge-watch Netflix if I went to my last exam.

Great advice! Planned Parenthood is an excellent clinic.


Miners in South Africa have some of the highest rates of silicosis in the world. Silicosis is an incurable and degenerative lung disease caused by breathing in silica dust, which is created in gold mining during blasting. Now, thousands of current and former South African miners are asking the country’s highest court for the right to proceed with a lawsuit against the gold mining industry. They argue that mining companies failed to protect their health. If it’s certified, the class action would be the biggest ever brought in the country.

Siporono Phahlam lives in a rural village in South Africa’s Eastern Cape. He knows the impact of silicosis firsthand. For 32 years, Phahlam worked in a South African gold mine owned by mining Giant Anglo American. But when he was 51, he failed the mine’s annual medical exam. Phahlam says he was told he had silicosis and should leave.

Gold Miners Breathe The Dust, Fall Ill: ‘They Did Not Give Me Nothing’

Photo: Thom Pierce
Caption: Patrick Sitwayi, 57, lives in Upper Mcambalala and has silicosis from working in the gold mines for 22 years. Photographer Thom Pierce has been covering the miners.

Sar(ah)castic: Old questions & Modern Medicine

On the Sar(ah)castic Series I’m ironically writing about topics that busy myself. Don’t take them too serious … or maybe you should? Enjoy ;)

At our med school we have to take an annual exam which comprises all lectures & topics we were thought by profs in two semesters. We are all very busy during the school year & when suddenly the summer months arrive, we get stressed like hell: HOW SHOULD I MANAGE TO STUDY THIS AMOUNT?

The majority of my fellow students see a solution in old exam questions. They pass the exam, celebrate the semester ending & forget their medical “knowledge”.  Isn’t it sad? 

When I’m talking to the “grown up” doctors they tell me stories about the frightening Pathology Exam or the “Bone’s Coll” … This generation actually had to learn facts & terms and demonstrate their knowledge under the watchful eyes of the Profs. 

And us? We’re just sitting in front of old questions, trying to combine a “Finasterid” with a “5-alpha-reductase inhibitor” … well, let’s get to next old exam question


i want to understand.

Old questions may be the easiest way, but in my opinion not the right one. They may save your butt to pass the exam, but they won’t save your patient. 

My name is Elizabeth.  When I was 28 years I met an amazing man that I fell hard for.  We started dating in 2008 and I married him September of 2013.  About a month after we started dating I was laid off and living with my parents - at the height of the Recession. Around June I decided to check out Planned Parenthood to have my annual exam done, since I still hadn’t found a job and had no health insurance. 

I have PCOS and hypothyroid so my cycle has never been normal.  I had also been on the nuva-ring since February and on regular BC pills prior to that.  So, it was quite a shock after telling the nurse there was NO WAY I could be pregnant that she tells me I am.  Not only was I pregnant, but I was 16 weeks pregnant, and that it probably happened between switching from the pill to the ring.  Knowing for most of my life that due to the PCOS I would probably never conceive naturally, and being on BC, I never thought this would happen. I was unemployed, in new relationship, still living with my parents and WAY pregnant.  Because I didn’t know I was pregnant, I was drinking alcohol socially, occasionally smoked cigarettes and never had any prenatal care. 

I knew in my soul that as much as I was meant to be a mother - there was only one heartbreaking decision to make.  On June 16th, 2009 I had an abortion at a Planned Parenthood clinic in Austin, TX.  My rock of a boyfriend, now husband, was there with me the entire time.  He understood my decision, he supported me emotionally, and financially, and was with me through the entire process. My immediate family cared for me afterward and always made me feel like I had made a good decision.  I am so lucky. 

Because of this choice I went on to find an amazing job in national retail advertising later that year and am now a successful Art Director for another national retail company.  I had an idea for my life and because of our choice we were able to make both our dreams a reality.  We are now pregnant after undergoing IVF earlier this year.  We are so happy and excited that we had the CHOICE to plan our family.  If I didn’t have this option I’m not sure where my life would be now.  We are grateful for every blessing we have had with this new baby and can’t wait to meet him/her later this year!

animorpher4326  asked:

I know you're busy a lot but if you only make one gif for the rest of your life, it needs to be Hannibal slurping the lip, with that smug look on his face.

This is honestly the most reasonable thing I’ve ever heard.


aka Hannibal realizes how long it’s been since he’s consumed human flesh and, fearful of failing his annual cannibal certification exam, sees an opportunity and fucking takes it.

"I think there's something up there."
  • These, ladies, are the MOST TERRIFYING WORDS you can hear come out of the mouth of your gynecologist.
  • I’m on the table, feet in stirrups and my doctor is starting my pap smear. I’ve been waiting for an hour and a half and I’m just ready to get this shit done.
  • Doctor: "Have you recently used any yeast infection medications, like those little capsules?"
  • Me: "Oh my god, no, why? Do you think I have a yeast infection?"
  • Doctor: "No, I think there's something up there."
  • Me, popping my head up to look at her to make sure I heard her correctly: "WHAT!? What do you mean?"
  • Doctor grabs for some little tongs and says: "Just a second. I can get it."
  • Me, thinking to myself, "What in the holy fuck is inside of me? I want to disappear. Is this actually happening? Oh Jesus, she's talking. What did she say?"
  • Doctor shows me what looks like a small, cotton bean: "So this is it. Don't freak out. Not sure what it is, but it's gone. Looks like a piece of a tampon. Do you use tampons?"
  • Me: "I do, but I haven't used one since my period ended, and that was almost two weeks ago. I am so embarrassed."
  • Doctor: "It's okay. It's gone. Nothing to worry about. I really do think it's a piece of a tampon. I'm just surprised it hadn't started to smell up there."
  • Me: "Jesus. I can't process this."
  • Doctor, laughing: "This is not the craziest thing I've pulled out of a vagina. Relax."
  • Me: Easy for you to say. One of my worst nightmares was just realized. I want to die."
  • Doctor: "Don't do that, but you may want to check your tampons, make sure there isn't something wrong with them."
  • Me: "I'll get right on that."