annoying people problems

Types of Fake Allies You’ll Meet

#1 The collector:

 This person really wants a gay friend, I mean really wants a gay friend. You know cause they mention it ten times. When they find out you’re lgbt they are ECSTATIC because they’ve… you get the point. Having an lgbt friend makes them cool and edgy. It’s also like a badge that shows people how accepting they are. They mention they’re gay friends all the time, they’re partners, how cool they are with it. You get the feeling they’re trying to collect you more than befriend you. 

#2 The tokenizer

They don’t just want a gay friend they want a GBF to go shopping with and talk about boys. They’re looking for someone who “acts gay” without “being gay” because they don’t want to think about that now do they. Also you better worship the ground they walk on. And just because they’re “ok” with gay guys doesn’t mean they want a gay girl friend.. In fact that’s probably going to make them super uncomfortable. After all, what if you were checking them out. 

#3 The overenthusiastic.

They’re supportive, really supportive. They want you to know how supportive they are. Do you get that? They’re super supportive. They mention how cool they are with gay people so many times you start to question if they really are. They also double as the smotherer, they constantly ask you about your personal life. Are you seeing anyone? Do you think shes cute? Do you think I’m cute? You should ask her out. Go ask her out right now!!

#4 The straight ally

They’re supportive but, got forbid anyone think they’re anything less than 100% hetero. They’ll wear ally buttons and straight against hate t-shirts and mention that they’re straight every 5 seconds when in queer spaces to make sure that nobody tries to hit on them, even though nobody probably wants to. 

#5. The gay ally

This person is the complete opposite of #4. They wanna be gay so bad, they have all the qualifications, except, you guessed it, they’re straight. But if they get super involved in the community that pretty much makes them gay right?

These people wanna be oppressed so bad, they’ll constantly mention the discrimination they’ve faced being an ally or when people have *le gasp* thought they were gay. 

#6 The fetishist

The person who supports gay rights simply so they’re fictional crushes can get it on theoretically in the real world. Signs include asking random (usually male) strangers to kiss and gushing over how cute a couple they are. Most commonly found at lgbt events and conventions. 

Finished the last guardian today

When anybody says “schools today are just too ‘PC’!”

  • Me: *searches up OTP* awww, that's some really pretty fanart and fanfiction...*searches up OTP + nsfw tag*
  • Annoying Person: HEEYAAAA!!!! Watcha doing lil shit?!
  • Me: (Ohcraohcrapohcrapohcraohcrapohcrapohcraohcrapohcrapimdoomed)N-NOTHING!!!!! *changes window to google at maximum speed* I-i-i j-just opened the browser
  • Annoying Person: ok?...*goes away*
  • Me: phew, that was a close one....It's time for M rated Fanfiction!!!
Cashier Problem #88

When customers try to give you change after you’ve already typed in the amount they paid and opened your drawer.

Have you ever been at work and just wanted to...

Either give yourself an ice pick lobotomy or everyone around you, because you just want to get your shit done and everyone just keeps coming over and asking questions?

People who say “being on your period doesn’t give you an excuse to be a bitch” need to back the hell up. First of all, if you haven’t gotten your period yet you need to just shut your ignorant mouth. Second of all, everyone’s body is different with different hormones. Some people act different ways when they are on their period and you just need to try and understand it. Don’t say things like “is it that time of the month again?” or stupid things like that… It just pisses people off. I bleed once a month for a week, you can leave me alone.

Short People Problems...

1. When you can’t reach the top shelf of a cabinet so you have to climb on the counter…

2. When tall people take things from you and hold it over your head so you can’t reach it…

3. When you have to sit in the back of the class and you can’t see anything…

4. When people call you things like “midget, shorty, umpalumpa, etc.”…

5. Being scared to stand behind taller people In fear that they won’t see you and step on you…

Cashier Problem #13

When customers say things to you like, “Don’t look so excited!” or “Smile!” What do you want from me. I am standing here doing nothing other than serving ungrateful assholes who think of me as far less than human. Also, I don’t know many people who stand around at their jobs grinning in euphoric bliss. 

I do not want to be here. I will not stand here smiling. I will not stand here looking excited. Leave me alone about it.

Do you ever read a book that you just feel kind of 😐 about, but everyone else is very 😍 about, and as time goes on they get even MORE 😍😍😍 about it, and you just start developing a grudge against that book for no real reason?