annoyed by humans

one of my biggest pet peeves is when people say “x ethnicity is adapted for cold weather” no!!! there is no extant Homo species adapted for cold weather!!! there are populations of humans that are used to cold temperatures and thus don’t get as annoyed by it but all humans are apes of the African savanna we are not meant to live in cold habitats. Only Homo neanderthalis was adapted for cold environments and look where it got them

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Tumblr, I understand why you have a ten image limit, but it’s annoying as balls. Human gem edits to get out those headcanons. Will do the fusions next, here’s a preview of those with Garnet bc it couldn’t upload her(or Holly Blue but shhh) with the rest


[Aquamarine and Topaz]

[Fusions]

honestly after chapter 146 I really want it to be a running joke that Rappa will just seek Fatgum and Kirishima out to have a fight at the most random times. Like the two will be out on patrol and all of a sudden Rappa is blocking their path and says “FATTY! RED! LETS HAVE A MATCH!!!” and the two of them are just like “Didn’t we fight last month? How do you keep escaping prison???” Like he hasn’t joined another organization or anything he just does underground fights and then when he’s in the mood he’s like time to challenge my two favorite people!! Like it gets to the point that he is more of an expected nuisance than a surprise threat. The two of them are just like oh Rappa is back lets see if we can convince him to fight us on another day. Most conversations kind of just end up being like this:

“Lets fight!!!!!!”

“Rappa its the end of patrol we’re tired.”

“Who cares!”

“You wanna go at us when we’re 100% dontchya?”

“hm…”

“You aren’t the kind of guy that wants his opponents to be fighting him with a handicap right?”

“HELL NO!”

“Then lets rumble some other day ‘kay?”

“hm… ALRIGHT! I’ll see you two another day! Then we’ll see who lives!”

“Bye Rappa”

“Bye-Bye Rappa-kun!”

The Signs as Types of Fae
  • Aries: Banshees
  • ~A type of faerie whose appearance predicts the death of somebody nearby or a family member.
  • Taurus: Hobs
  • ~ A type of household faerie who aids humans in farming yet brings them misfortune if offended/annoyed. Humans could dispose of a hob by giving them a new set of clothes but some prove difficult to get rid of.
  • Gemini: Nymphs
  • ~ Different types of nature fae who are seen as young and timeless. Very playful, with high energy causing them to be well-liked. A deep love and appreciation for nature. They love to dance and sing and relish in freedom.
  • Cancer: Sirens
  • ~ A type of faerie who generally lived in groups underwater and sang a beautiful melody, luring fishermen to their death.
  • Leo: Imps
  • ~ A mischevious type of faerie who are lonely and use pranks as a plea for human attention.
  • Virgo: Brownies
  • ~ A small faerie that aids in tasks around the house. They dislike being seen and prefer offerings for their work, abandoning the house if these offerings are called payments/they're misused by the homeowner.
  • Libra: Elves
  • ~ A type of faerie who are diplomatic and wise with sharper senses (physically and mentally) than humans. They love art, song and nature.
  • Scorpio: Selkies
  • ~ A type of fae who live as seals underwater, can shed their seal skin and become human, but almost always return to the sea by re-applying their skin. Seen as having great seductive powers over humans.
  • Sagittarius: Púcas
  • ~ A small faerie who leads lone travelers off their path, using faery-light, often to their death.
  • Capricorn: Leprachauns
  • ~ A type of solitary faerie. Generally seen as greedy due to their hidden pot of gold at the end of rainbows. If captured they must grant 3 wishes for their freedom, much to their dismay.
  • Aquarius: Kobold
  • ~ A shape-shifting faerie who generally resides in human homes. They play malicious pranks to test humans. They can shift between being invisible, human, fire or objects.
  • Pisces: Pixies
  • ~ A type of faerie, generally seen as very small and fragile. They punish humans who neglect others and reward considerate humans. They have a tendency to be manipulative.

I just got off the phone with my mother, so get ready for another installment of Weird Tales From Rural Massachusetts:

So the neighbors with a pig farm have apparently had a LARGE SCALE escape, because there is “a big herd” of pigs roaming loose in the back woods. My mother discovered this while walking her dog, who promptly stampeded the entire herd into the local brewery tasting room’s parking lot (presumably to the dismay of their customers and staff).

The unsupervised pigs are a problem because A) pigs are BIG, can be aggressive, and do massive ecological damage, and B) my parents’ property is going to be part of a local charity hike next week, which means 30-50 unsuspecting hikers will be walking through what is now Sovereign Pig Territory. Also, one pig died, so there’s a Carcass Problem (that the local coyotes are not taking care of quickly enough) as well as the hazards posed by its living relatives.

my mother has called the farm, which has had no result (aside from a different neighbor showing up to butcher some sides of bacon off the Problematic Carcass), and has therefore had to contact the hike organizers and be like “so we have a problem you should maybe warn people about……”

just so yall know harry was being shoved around, random hands and phones trying to get into his personal space, yet he still asked someone in the crowd if they were alright amidst the tight space like harry was already being disrespected yet he was the one who showed care to others so why the fuck can’t people respect him for fucking once

instagram

When your annoying human won’t give you a heckin treat. 🔊

I’m still not over the fact that of all the people they could choose to deliver the frog eater line in Dunkirk, they chose Harry. It adds such a tragic, subtle intensity to the accusation, like the horrified inner struggle, this dude is eating my frog family

Human determination

We’ve all mentioned this determination in posts before, but everyone writes it as noble and cool? We are fucking not. Have you heard the phrase “Then make it work”? Thats 100% bonafide human SALT right there. Or the whole “I’ll do it anyways” thing? Imagine instead of being impressed, they’re all just fucking done with us 30 minutes in.

Humans are weird

There’s a lot on here about how humans would be considered a weird species when compared to the rest of alien life. I got to thinking about how aliens would respond to humans having multiple skillsets. Like, imagine that every alien species is divided based on their skills, scientists are only scientists, warriors are only warriors, chefs are only chefs, and so on. 

The moment that humans get thrown into the mix the new medical officer, and the first human on board, is not only able to perform exceptionally as a doctor, but can also fix mechanical problems on the ship. And if you challenge them to a game of those paper rectangles humans call “cards” you can watch your credit balance decrease after each “hand”. 

Image the aliens being utterly baffled by a human who spends all their day in the kitchen also being able to calm down and contain the sixteen foot apex predator  the crew brought on board that morning, at the cost of two expedition teams.

And how much would it freak the aliens out if the ship got attacked, and the normally very calm and collected human Records Keeper pulls a laser pistol out of her desk and proceeds to slaughter the raiders without breaking a sweat.


“Human-Tifa, I thought you were trained in classical literature!” said Jorbit, still shaking in his grey uniform and getting a healthy amount of sweat on the recently cleaned floor. Tifa returned the pistol to her desk and sat back down to keep working. 
“I spent two tours on Locus 8 during the Captish Wars.″ she says, and Jorbit absorbs this information slowly, gaining a new appreciation for the crew’s Record Keeper. He picked himself up, and made a mental note to never annoy any of the ship’s humans.

What if an alien and a human are beamed down to a planet with extremely low temperatures. The alien isn’t really adapted well to extreme cold, but it doesn’t matter because they’re only going to be there for a short period of time.

Unfortunately, an asteroid passes right by the planet and the ship is forced to fly back out of radio range to avoid being hit. They not only lose contact with their crew members, but they also lose their GPS lock on them. It’ll take them a few minutes to wait for the asteroid to pass by and to get back in range, at which point they’ll need their crew members to hail them so that they can figure out where they are and beam them up.

Even more unfortunately, both the human and the alien are getting increasingly cold and the alien, who never really liked the human anyway, thinking that humans in general get a lot of undeserved praise in the galaxy, starts getting annoyed.

“Human, stop making that clicking sound, it’s really annoying.”

“F-for the l-last f-frickin’ time, my name is J-james, and I c-can’t help it. My t-teeth are cha-chattering.”

“Well at least stop moving around like that. Conserve your energy, idiot.”

“I c-can’t h-help it. Th-this is what humans d-do when it’s-it’s cold.”

“Ha! I knew the human ability to survive the cold was exaggerated! I don’t know why we even have a human!”

“I g-got the j-job f-fair and squ-square. Being human had n=nothing to do w-with—”

“Hey! Stop that!”

“What?”

“You’re changing colour! Stop it! You’re going white! What the hell are you trying to pull here, you wanna start a fight?”

“It’s n-not v-volunta—”

“’Cause let me tell you, you may think you’re so big just because you’re human, but you don’t even have venom! I could kill you in two seconds. You insult me like that again and I’ll— oh, what’s the point? I don’t even have the energy to yell at you.”

“A-are you o-oka—?”

“Shut up human! We’re going to die here.”

The alien then passes out and, to their surprise, wakes up on the ship. 

“How did you find us?” They ask, while the ship’s doctor examines them.

“Oh, James hailed us,” the doctor says, pointing over to the human, who is in the corner drinking some brown liquid with steam coming off it, “lucky for you, his species is so well adapted to the cold.”

Get Used To It l Shawn Mendes Imagine

a/n: i’m not the biggest fan of the whole friends turned into lovers thing but this came out?? I didn’t give the boyfriend a name or whatever so feel free to picture whoever you want lol, and I know TNHMB is the opening song, I just modified it for the imagine. Anywaysss, hope you enjoy it <3

prompt: Shawn & (y/n) were best friends, until they discover they work out as something more than just that.

Originally posted by fearless-man

“She’s cute.” you said placing your head on your best friend’s shoulder.

You had been the entire day keeping Shawn and the team company as they were shooting the video for Shawn’s latest single. Shawn had invited you to tag along the European leg of the tour and that was an offer you couldn’t decline. You even had the time to spend time with Aaliyah, who was like your little sister, in Barcelona before his show. It had taken time to get your parents’ approval to travel across the ocean to join your best friend, but after some begging from your part and a couple of phone calls from Shawn, they had come around and let you go.

“You think so?” Shawn answered as he checked his phone.

“Yeah, you two would make a cute couple.” you teased him, earning a glare from him.

“You really need to stop trying to find me a girlfriend.” he rolled his eyes.

“I do it because I love you! It’s sad that you always have to come back to me instead of a girl you can kiss or use to satisfy your needs.” you wiggled your eyebrows and this time Shawn groaned in annoyance.

“Remind me why we’re friends again? You are the most annoying human being in the world.”

“Oh, shush. You love me.” you circled your arms around his neck.

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