annbelz

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“Pwede ba kitang makunan ng larawan? Kahit isa lang para merong ala-ala ang ating nakaraan.
Ngunit mayroon kang ibang minamahal kung kaya’t ako'y di mo pinapansin.
Sa larawan na lang kita mahahagkan. Sa larawan na lang tayo magpakasal.
Sa larawan na lang baka pwedeng legal dahil dito sa mundo bawal…
Paano ba kita makalimutan. Kay rami na kasi ang pinagdaanan.
Ipagpatawad mo kung mahal pa rin kita.”

Larawan by Eevee

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I was scanning my LYRICS notebook that I made way back in my elementary years. And I found myself reading this song’s lyrics. And I eventually remembered my high school days. Way back when it felt so good to fall in love. I remembered the person who liked me back. COINCIDENCE? I don’t think so.

This morning, I have dreamed about him. He was talking with someone. Looking so handsome, as usual, in his business suit. And I was kind of feeling invisible, passing by, looking so intently at him, wondering if he is real. I reached out my hand, hoping to feel his essence in the tip of my fingers. I almost leaped for joy when I felt the silk of his pants (pants tlaga! hahaha) and that’s when he looked in my direction and smiled. I remembered I was almost at 4 ft. distance when he noticed me and I did not hesitated to smile my biggest smile. I even mouthed the words “I miss you” and he blew me a kiss. hahahahahha! and I woke up.

This dream have eventually led me to fall in love again to CENT. :3

And I was thankful because all through out the day, whenever I get to see Jericho, I will always remind myself of the dream and Vicente’s handsome face.

This song is dedicated to Vicente Gamalo Villacorte. The boy I had exchanged love letters with. The boy who…

am just a very insecure girl. that is all..

Here I go again.

Kailangan pa tlga igyakan ni mama nga mahusay an cantor han community ni JOE?!?

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kay amu tlga adto an ngpaduroi nak kabuysit yana nga gab-i. aaaargggh!!!!

bisan gud anhun dri tlga mawawara tak insecurity ngan pgkaprejudice ha iya. Bagat normal and natural nla para ha ak. Ngan trying hard tlga ak ktaun kun makgsmile ak hit nga tawo. 

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ok. “ooi.. kmumusta ka na?” pero ha sakob, nga tae ka! kay anu mo hea gn-asi?! ng smile ka pa? Plastik ka man gud.

pydi mg-inenglis liwat? :D

… 

this just kills me, ya know? :’(

I don’t deserve this feeling, but it just keeps crawling up into my spine. Like cancer cells slowly killing me. Destroying every organ in my body until I become a full pledged skin and bones human. Oh-kay. Not really a relative example, is it? Doesn’t matter anyway… you get the idea. Maybe the me inside is not happy with the me outside acting differently what my brain is demanding me to do exactly. Like a coward. Afraid to stand up for what she feels. Afraid to stand firm to what she believes in. And eventually, the core of this problem comes to show up like a billboard sign. That I am so afraid to believe in myself.

Okay. 

I feel better now. 

:D 

thanks tumblr for listening to my internal monologue. :)