Episosde 75, part two: EVEN GRIMMER

(part 1 is here)

I’m not over the bomb thing but I’m letting it sit

Yami and Jounouchi are both chained to an anchor which will plunge into the ocean, drowning them both, unless one of them wins a CARD GAME against the other, in which case, the winner will get a key to the anklecuff chaining them to the anchor and only the loser will be dragged to a watery death

You know, Malik went in really hard for water as a metaphor in the definitively-on-land Strings duel but doesn’t muster any of that here, even though it would make WAY MORE SENSE here. But Malik isn’t here for “sense”. 

Malik Ishtar: the opposite of “this makes sense”

Okay so Seto was all “you know, Malik’s probably going to force you into a death match with your friend, Yami, how’re you gonna deal with that? hmm? Yami? are you listening? if I was Malik, I’d be all over a death match right about now. think you can deal with a death match, Yami, do you? do you? hey. do you?”

And now that it’s happening EXACTLY AS HE PREDICTED…

It is Seto who cannot deal with the death match. Look at him, he’s really spooked by the idea, when he actually sees it! He’s all talk; he wanted Yami to be challenged, but not like this.

And his Battle City Steering Committee Chairman isn’t going to stand for such blatant disrespect for the KaibaCorp Battle City tournament.

I am SO HERE for Seto taking moral cues from his surprisingly-well-adjusted baby brother YES

But before Seto can intervene– Wait. No. Before Seto DOES intervene because wow, Malik-as-Anzu must have had to walk from the back of the pier past Jou or Yami, PAST SETO, up onto the concrete pier next door and sit down in the murder-chair to get there.

Where’s “there”, you ask? Look behind you, Yami!

Yami is too cute I can’t

So yeah, if Seto hadn’t had to actually work through “is killing a man who can’t defend himself wrong, if it’s because of a card game?” he would have had time to at least force Malik to fall back on Plan B.

Meanwhile, in case you were wondering, the Real Malik Ishtar TM is hiding in a nearby boathouse

being very cool and not at all a creep

also holy shit the animators just didn’t bother to give him hands I am so doing this from now on drawing hands is the worst I don’t even care that it looks ridiculous when you notice at least I won’t have to draw hands

So evil!Jounouchi rightly points out that if Yami is dragged to the bottom of the harbour by an anchor, so will all his cards be.

Writer #1: Shit Yami has Osiris now, that’ll have a massive impact on his duels.

Writer #2: Eh, just have him literally toss it aside at the start of the duel.

Writer #1: Brilliant.

Writer #2: Also he takes his whole belt off to do that obviously.


Interestingly, he had two and only two cards in his belt that weren’t in his deck.

He hasn’t been using Red Eyes, just keeping it safe. And he hasn’t been using Osiris. I like the way the serious God Card users are serious about their God Cards. Yami doesn’t immediately add Osiris to his deck, presumably because he trusts his deck as he and Yugi built it, and he’s not about to start rearranging his strategies on the fly just because he’s won something flashy, even if it’s not so much “flashy” as “gleaming with the terrifying light of the gods themselves”.

And as for Red Eyes, I like that he doesn’t want to use Jounouchi’s card; all Jou asked was for him to hang on to it and he does just that until now. Now Yami (not Yugi, who is incidentally STILL missing and has been completely absent for 9 full episodes WHAT THE FUCK) makes the deliberate choice here to try to reach Jounouchi via this card and the promise they made each other. Yugi’s the one who follows through on that, but Yami’s the one who puts it in place. Which is a mirror to how they usually work, with often Yugi deciding things and Yami following through in the actual duel.

Anyway so the duel starts and Jounouchi immediately starts hacking enthusiastically at Yami’s life points while Yami just tries to block and defend until he can come up with a plan.

And by “hacking enthusiastically” I mean LITERAL FIREBALL that is so powerful it bypasses his Monsters to land on him directly

also so powerful, Yami’s ankle is chained to his jacket now

And Seto is OUTRAGED

This has literally never been mentioned before but okay! 

Malik is like, I CARE NOT FOR YOUR ~RULES~ but I’m really wondering how the fucking holograms work? How did Malik make all these illegal cards compliant with a Duel Disk system that Kaiba released - as far as I can tell - literally yesterday?!

If they’re even holograms?!

Do the holograms hurt?! I thought that only the Shadow Game games actually hurt, but Yami’s legit in pain from the Fireball?! THIS SHOW IS SO UNCLEAR ABOUT JUST FUCKING EVERYTHING?!

Right, so, Jounouchi is ~evil~.


Malik is gleefully incorrect.

He’s about to be DROWNED jfc Malik you spent long enough explaining it I thought you’d know your own fucking overcomplicated deathtrap ffs


She shouts, at the adult criminal holding her life in his hands and threatening to end it. You fucking GO, girl.

Yami is playing card games so hard his clothes are coming off and sadly no, not in the sexy Strip Duel Monsters way


Oh, and …. Shizuka and Honda are lost