Female? He told you he was female?”
“She,” Angua corrected. “This is Ank-Morpork, you know. We’ve got extra pronouns here.”
She could smell his bewilderment…
“Well, I would have though she’d have the decency to keep it to herself,” carrot said finally. “I don’t think it’s very clever, you know, to go around drawing attention to the fact.”
“Carrot, I think you might have something wrong with your head,” said Angua.
“I think you might have it stuck up your bum.
—  Terry Pratchett - Feet Of Clay

okay so everybody always talks about how amazing sam vimes is, and i love sam vimes to the bottom of my heart, but i do not see enough sybil appreciation on my dashboard.

sybil is a zarking goddess okay, and i will not hear a word against her

  • she calls the PATRICIAN of Ankh-Morpork ‘havelock’.
  • she actually just calls pretty much everybody by their first names
  • people who are not scared of vimes will listen to sybil any day
  • she’s perfectly level headed, until vimes calls her a duchess, when she will become the most overbearing, duchessy duchess the disc has ever known
  • her haggling for fat with the low king.
  • her being brought up to act small, so as to make everybody feel bigger. then using that to her advantage because i’m pretty sure she knows how amazing she is.
  • being so compassionate she can see the good in anybody without even trying, even nobby nobbs
  • being the first person in forever to actually see the potential in perpetually drunk, undernourished, broken sam vimes and taking away his alcohol and giving him food and being there so he can actually grow to be the sam vimes that we love.
  • being sybil ramkin, the dragon obsessed, charitable spinster who is pretty much the only person left in ankh-morpork who actually respects the night watch in guards guards, and seeing exploding swamp dragons as lovable pets.
  • singing opera so well she becomes an honorary dwarf

upon rereading it for the eighty-second time, my favorite part of the last scene of The Fifth Elephant is that before Carrot gives his little speech about the King’s Shilling and lays his sword on the table, he stands by the window with his back to the room, speech all careful and measured and content-unexpected. That is, he’s imitating fricking Vetinari. I love? Carrot Ironfounderson? So dang much??

A-M City Watch - the cinnamon roll scale
  • Vimes: A burnt cinnamon roll. Too crispy for this world, too bitter.
  • Colon: Eats a lot of cinnamon rolls.
  • Nobby: The gunk of glaze and crumbs at the bottom of a box of cinnamon rolls.
  • Carrot: Beautiful cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure.
  • Angua: Looks like she'll kill you, and will kill you if you even think about calling her a cinnamon roll.
  • Cheery: Dwarf cinnamon roll. Looks cute, is tough as hell, might hurt you if you try any funny business.
  • Detritus: Sediment roll.
  • Reg: Really really old cinnamon roll, too moldy for this world, but still pure.
  • Sally: Sinnamon roll.