okay so everybody always talks about how amazing sam vimes is, and i love sam vimes to the bottom of my heart, but i do not see enough sybil appreciation on my dashboard.

sybil is a zarking goddess okay, and i will not hear a word against her

  • she calls the PATRICIAN of Ankh-Morpork ‘havelock’.
  • she actually just calls pretty much everybody by their first names
  • people who are not scared of vimes will listen to sybil any day
  • she’s perfectly level headed, until vimes calls her a duchess, when she will become the most overbearing, duchessy duchess the disc has ever known
  • her haggling for fat with the low king.
  • her being brought up to act small, so as to make everybody feel bigger. then using that to her advantage because i’m pretty sure she knows how amazing she is.
  • being so compassionate she can see the good in anybody without even trying, even nobby nobbs
  • being the first person in forever to actually see the potential in perpetually drunk, undernourished, broken sam vimes and taking away his alcohol and giving him food and being there so he can actually grow to be the sam vimes that we love.
  • being sybil ramkin, the dragon obsessed, charitable spinster who is pretty much the only person left in ankh-morpork who actually respects the night watch in guards guards, and seeing exploding swamp dragons as lovable pets.
  • singing opera so well she becomes an honorary dwarf
All he knew was that you couldn’t hope to try for the big stuff, like world peace and happiness, but you might just about be able to achieve some tiny deed that’d make the world, in a small way, a better place.
—  Terry Pratchett - The Fifth Elephant

upon rereading it for the eighty-second time, my favorite part of the last scene of The Fifth Elephant is that before Carrot gives his little speech about the King’s Shilling and lays his sword on the table, he stands by the window with his back to the room, speech all careful and measured and content-unexpected. That is, he’s imitating fricking Vetinari. I love? Carrot Ironfounderson? So dang much??

A-M City Watch - the cinnamon roll scale
  • Vimes: A burnt cinnamon roll. Too crispy for this world, too bitter.
  • Colon: Eats a lot of cinnamon rolls.
  • Nobby: The gunk of glaze and crumbs at the bottom of a box of cinnamon rolls.
  • Carrot: Beautiful cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure.
  • Angua: Looks like she'll kill you, and will kill you if you even think about calling her a cinnamon roll.
  • Cheery: Dwarf cinnamon roll. Looks cute, is tough as hell, might hurt you if you try any funny business.
  • Detritus: Sediment roll.
  • Reg: Really really old cinnamon roll, too moldy for this world, but still pure.
  • Sally: Sinnamon roll.