animal snacks

Me: Hey there, Ducky.

Ducky: Hello.

Me: Can I help you?

Ducky: Quite possibly. What am I smelling?

Me: S’mores Goldfish.

Ducky:

Me:  …

Ducky: That is an unfamiliar combination of sounds. But they look like my treats.

Me: I guess they do, kinda’. I hadn’t noticed.

Ducky: Too busy eating them all yourself to notice such details.

Me: Pardon?

Ducky: Duckies get treats.

Me: These are for Daddy. Not Duckies.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I don’t care for that familiar, selfish combination of sounds at all.

Me: They have chocolate bits. Dogs can’t have chocolate. 

Ducky: You’ve mentioned that before.

Me: Gotta keep you safe.

Ducky: So “Sore Goal Dish” are good for daddies?

Me: Not so much.

Ducky: Bad for both of us but you can have them while I can’t?

Me: Correct.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Does it hurt? The cognitive dissonance? 

Me: “Goldfish” is a strange concept to you but “cognitive dissonance” you get? 

Ducky: Don’t lash out at me because you have been confronted with information that contradicts your stated beliefs, ideals, and values.

Me: Fair enough. I guess you get it.

Ducky: Intellectual consistency aids psychological stability, Daddy. Intellectual consistency.

Me:  …

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Ducky needs treats. 

Me: Consistently.

Ducky: Bingo.

Me: Let’s go get you some of yours.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Healthy Little

*at store*

Me: *shoving tons of “childish” snacks in cart*

Me: “Let’s see. I got..scooby snacks..animal crackers..juice boxes…peanut butter and jelly sandwiches..next up is Goldfish crackers.”

Me: “Oooh! The princess ones! I should get th-” *looks to whole wheat version*

Me: “They say whole wheat is better for you. In fact..you need that stuff. I, a big girl, shall make the healthy option.”

Me: *Grabs whole wheat goldfish and runs* “IM SORRY PRINCESS ONES! NEXT TIME!!!”

Smol Lloyd Headcanons

*Lloyd lost both of his front teeth, not from cavities, but by accidentally bumping into the chalk board at school.

*Smol Lloyd has an undercut. I said it.

*Ties his bangs into a unicorn horn for fun

*One of the slower kids while playing kickball. His short legs don’t carry him far.

*An insects kinda kid. Specially butterflies.

*More into tea than juice or milk. (He prefers juice as a teen)

*learned how to sing his abcs backwards by heart.

*That asshole who colored in the lines but never fully. You know who I’m talking about.

*Cheated on his spelling test. Still got a 70.

*Worst subject in school was P.E. next was his actual “evil acting” classes.

*Favorite candy is kitkats. Cookies n cream hershies come in close second.

*Stands at like. 4'3ft. He’s a smol.

*Painted on the school’s chalkboard more than once. Never got caught though.

*Really good in music for some reason.

*Always had those little dinosaur animal crackers for snacks. (Every kid was jealous)

*I know I said this before but. Smol Lloyd can magically stick onto the ceiling like a mother fucking bat and nO ONE can get him to come down until he falls asleep.

Dating Tony Padilla Would Include (Male Reader):

hey guys sorry it took so long! last week was ap testing and my phone broke this weekend and ive just been super busy but now im back and ready to get some stuff out for you guys! thank you for your patience! this one is a little less angsty than my other ones i feel, but its still pretty angsty bc im incapable of not being dramatic as hell. i hope you guys like it!

(also btw i just made up tonys siblings names based on names that i have in my family that i love bc i couldnt remember if his siblings names were ever said. hope that doesnt bother anyone!)

enjoy!

requested by @totalwhovian

Originally posted by fakehelper

  • you meet tony for the first time when youre five years old
  • the two of you were in the same kindergarten class and you sat at the same table
  • you were a shy kid, always keeping your head down and hoping no one would pay too much attention to you
  • that, of course, meant tony had to pay all of his attention to you
  • he smiled at you wide on the first day of school and asked if he could be your friend and didnt even look at you weird when you started crying
  • he sat with you everyday and shared his animal crackers during snack time and even let you use some of his crayons
  • (he had the 96 pack bc he was just that cool)

Keep reading

Stay till the A.M

Pairing: Louis Tomlinson & Harry Styles (Larry)

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst, Daddy Kink

Warnings:Vulgar Language, Parental violence (implied) 

Word Count: 9500

Summary: Louis Tomlinson is a middle aged, unemployed man living in an apartment building alone. Though, his loud, bubbly, teenage neighbour living atop of his flat doesn’t seem to leave Louis alone all that often.

Keep reading