animal murderer

“A bunch of meddling teenagers and a minor eldritch abomination who takes the form of a funny talking animal investigate a murderous occult conspiracy beneath the surface of a small town, and also they fight God at the end.”

Did I just describe:

a. Persona 4, or

b. Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated

the signs as suburban haunts

ARIES: flattened paper boats scattered like the remains of a murdered animal along a dried up river, rundown motels with their blasted neon signs and smashed-in windows, pink streamers from some neighborhood child’s birthday party shuffling across the street like bright tumbleweed, a train rattling off into the breathless night & the trace remnants of a week old bonfire found in the middle of nowhere. 

TAURUS: chipped paint, shattered shot glasses lying across an abandoned pool table missing a few billiard balls, flyers rustling like autumn leaves against the tempestuous tides of the wind, advertising concerts & magic shows that took place in 2005, the sillage of old perfume clogging up the air, still thick as the scent of blood or wildflowers.

GEMINI: the corpse of a cigarette that hasn’t touched a mouth in months, a dilapidated playground where lost souls come out to play, threadbare curtains ripped like the wings of a dissected bird, strange red-brown stains across the hotel bedsheets, a gate grown weary with new-forming foliage & age, whining erroneously whenever maneuvered. 

CANCER: an empty casket, coffee rim imprints across hardwood tables, an old, tattered shoe lying haphazardly on the side of the road, a junkyard littered with ancient cars still soggy with stories, a pick-up with a broken windshield, a cadillac with a massacred paint job, someone’s motorcycle with blood staining the front tire, an askew portrait with eyes that follow you around the room.

LEO: a carnival horse with one eye scratched out, a daycare centre that shut down years ago, plagued with the colorful ghosts of children’s drawings still tacked to the crumbling walls, a spiral staircase that seems to shift direction when nobody’s paying attention, crunched up beer cans rolling across an empty rooftop & lichen kissing the concrete. 

VIRGO: the supermarket, flickering & eerie at night like the shadows unearthed beneath troubled eyes, owls stirring in between the murmuring trees, a single upturned grave in a cemetery that isn’t supposed to be notorious for hauntings, an old fountain still glistening with pennies that are no longer considered currency, a collapsed bottle of wine running the tiles red.

LIBRA: handprints imprinted onto fogged-up windows, red rooms crowded with developing photographs of people whose faces you recognize but cannot quite place, broken doll heads, a necklace that erupted into a sea of pearls, a deflated blow up kiddie pool collecting parched grass and critters, a busted arcade game & the laughter of people long gone still trapped inside the walls.

SCORPIO: books with grimacing yellow pages, someone attempting to sell you a cursed object on etsy, a leaky shower-head, a clock that’s stuck in time, a torn, unravelled couch sitting deserted in someone’s front lawn, candy stores that proclaim sales on expired sweets & ruddy patches of farmland. 

SAGITTARIUS: basements stacked with unwanted toys, a box of thin-mints, footsteps reverberating around the house when it’s 2 AM and you’re home alone, a burned down lemonade stand, that weird alien light in the third window of your neighbor’s house that never seems to get turned off, a certain rattling coming from the kitchen.

CAPRICORN: rain pummeling against damp ceilings, clothes ripped off the washing line, an empty aquarium, obscure little thrift stores that sell leather jackets from the eighties, gas station lights flirting with you from the distance, the alley where they say the vagabonds roam their night countries, sniffing up and dressing down and slitting the throats of angels.

AQUARIUS: those tiny coffee shops that fill you with nostalgia for places you’ll never visit, ‘JESUS LOVES YOU’ spray-painted across the sides of ramshackle buildings, an antique almirah scratched to high hell, a monster in the closet, the tunnel beneath the bridge that half the town believes is a gateway to hell, smoking up in trip mall parking lots. 

PISCES: halloween decor presented in shop windows a couple months early, visiting that lake where you heard that one kid drowned, the garage door slamming without cause or notice, storing fireflies in jars, drugstore makeup, birthday cake flavored oreos, a wheeled desk chair that seems to turn on its own when nobody’s in the office, a candle snuffed out on a windless evening.

Okay, consider this:

Vegans have absolutely no reason to lie to you about conditions of meat, dairy, and egg farms. By exposing those industries, they do not personally gain anything. But the government has billions of dollars riding on animal agriculture.

Think long and hard about that before you accuse vegans of propaganda and brainwashing.

It’s Jackaboy, the stealthiest hunter to ever stealth.

Just ignore the screaming.

Inspired by @therealjacksepticeye‘s The Hunter Call of the Wild video. It’s a few days late but you know what? I’m gonna shit-post anyway. It also seems topical to the more recent video AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! A blessing to us all. Amen Robin, the editing god.

@kags-kun and i spent some time thinking about vegan keith

lance: wanna come over and eat what my mom made
keith: what did she make
lance: me ;3c
keith: im a vegan

Hunk: Keith can you help me with some repairs on-
Keith: I’m vegan

pidge: keith can you pass the salt
keith: i’m a vegan

keith, outside with nature: while you animal killers eat “meat” i’m going to have a healthy dinner that will keep me going *eats an entire twig*

Shiro: Keith, if I dont make it out of here, I want you to lead Voltron
Keith: I’m vegan

allura: “as the princess of altea i deMAND-”
keith: i’m vegan

Keith, living in the desert: I’m so one with nature it’s not even funny *shoves a piece of cactus down his throat*

keith: *listens to halsey and eats a leaf off a tree*

Keith: uhm, eucalyptus might be “poisonous” for you animal murderers with your polluted bodies, but my digestive system is CLEANSED and NATURAL and also koalas are like totally my spirit animal so

keith: for you MEAT LOVERS the spikes of a cactus may hurt but as a vegan i am IMMUNE to all danger a plant can have *licks a cactus*

Lance: if you love plants so much then why do you eat them?
Keith: excuse me I do not /eat/ plants, I consume them and our souls become bonded as one, giving me even more power that you meat eaters could never even dream of

keith: *lays in the sun*
hunk: hey buddy whatcha doin
keith: i’m photosynthesizing, something you MEAT LOVERS would never understand

Keith, doing yoga while taking intermittent bites of salad: I’ve achieved transcendence (just for fun imagine he’s wearing those red “are you nasty?“ booty shorts)