Maleficent is a dragon who cursed an infant because she wasn’t invited to a christening, this woman CANNOT raise a child.
Queen Griemhilde is a conceited, vain witch who killed a 14 year old because she was prettier than her, this woman CANNOT raise a child.
Jafar hypnotised the sultan, got himself turned into a magician, a genie, just for power and forced a 15 year old to be his slave girl, this man CANNOT raise a child.
Cruella DeVil is a mentally ill woman whose affection consists of derogatory comments, blowing smoke in your face and never taking no for an answer, this woman CANNOT raise a child.
So, let’s say Evie, Carlos, Mal and Jay grow up on an island without magic, surrounded by murderers, thieves, people who did bad things, people who are proud of these things. Let’s say, they don’t teach them to be evil. Let’s say, they teach them ‘don’t let anyone keep you from what you want, you are a queen, a dragon, a genie, you are magic’. Ben has dreams about a girl with green eyes and lilac hair, of a girl who is different, something fae, and he remembers the fairy who cursed his father because he wasn’t kind, so he asks his parents to let some of the villain’s kids stay in Auradon. Show them goodness.
When they arrive, they don’t arrive in a tumbling mess. They don’t even get out of the car, and when the chauffeur opens the door, there’s a stick thin girl with long blue hair staring at her hands, a muscled boy who almost isn’t a boy anymore, rubbing the bands on his arms, the girl from his dreams, eyes glowing, a little boy dressed in fur curled up in their laps.
They aren’t used to magic, even though it is in their very cores. So they take time to get used to it, to learn to live with death and power under their skin.
They weren’t sent to get a wand for world domination. They were sent to get a wand for freedom. So it takes them longer to realise just what their parents did. It takes talks and family day and Queen Leiah screaming at the top of her lungs (‘Get away from here, do not touch my grandchild, my daughter will never be mine because of you, how dare you, how dare you?’) for Mal to realise that this isn’t about invitations and pettiness. It’s about a woman with hair as yellow as gold and lips that shame the red red rose, growing up poor, in a cottage, falling to her death at the touch of a spindle, this is about her mother talking about the raven with more fondness than her, this is about all the things her mother did, no matter the reason.
Evie still studies with Doug, and she hasn’t been taught to score a prince, she’s been taught to use her beauty, it is all men want, get rid of them before they get rid of you, do NOT die. So she meets with Doug at his house and Dopey stares at her and then he gets Snow White, who breaks down crying at the sight of this thin, beautiful girl with hair in a colour that has haunted her sleep ('what did she do to you, was it not enough for her to kill me, what has she done to you’) and Evie realises that her mother’s stories are not about men, they are about this woman, about her sister, who was 14 and beautiful and dead. And this is about her and all the bones she can count when she looks in the mirror.
Jay befriends the only other Arabian speaking children he can find, plays gurney, ruthless and self centered and for him, and one day Aladdin picks his children up and Jay does one of those backflips where he stays in the air for too long and it knocks the wind out of him. Jay doesn’t understand because of Aladdin, he sees a thief, who is like him, but it isn’t what makes him think, tourney does the trick because they are a team and the world does not revolve around him, he is not the center of the universe.
Carlos knows that his mother is wrong from the moment he is old enough to master critical thinking. She shrieks and hits and worships fur and he spends his days begging for scraps. There’s no magic in him, no rush he gets from crossing the barrier, so he helps his friends. They have always been his lifeline, so maybe now he can be theirs.
if you’re struggling for AU ideas take a look-see at this list i wrote for my friend who dubbed it “better than the 10 commandments"
1) Coffee shop AU
Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee
I’m worried about your coffee dependency
you accidentally poured boiling hot coffee over
me so you’re responsible for taking me to A&E
you give me a different fake name every time you
come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here
I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino
Flower shop AU
You buy a weird amount of flowers and I’m
concerned as to why
I’m allergic to flowers but I work in a flower
shop – you’re a customer who’s very confused as to why I’d do that
(this is also a good way to incorporate flower
meanings eg, buying certain colours/types for person to represent feelings etc.)
You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m
tracking u the fuck down
I work in the library and I’m a little concerned
for your health bc you never stop studying
The library’s pretty empty save for you and me
and OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere
Awful first time meeting
I accidentally punched you in the face when I
was too overexcited about something
I thought you were my friend who’s just done
something awful to me (read: cut my hair while I slept, dyed all of my clothes
pink, etc. etc.) because you look similar from behind so I stormed up to you
and shoved you from behind while calling you an asshole
You get the gist to this one
Oooh when you told me your name I thought you
were joking because it’s fucking awful and I made a joke about it and things
got awkward real fucking fast (perfect for a Hannibal au just saying)
Weird places to meet/awkward meetings in general
We live in the same block of flats but haven’t
ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to
stand in the lift together
“okay I know that being in the woods at 2am is a
weird thing to be doing but my friend called me and- wait, why are you in the woods at 2am, fuck I’m going
to die aren’t I?”
A personal favourite of mine – first day at a
new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last
We keep accidentally running into each other I’m
not a stalker I swear
You live across from me in our apartments and we
smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re
the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable
“My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight
could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”
Friends to romance – pining and all that
You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for
advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you
I really like you but you’re my best friend’s ex
You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious
about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really
miss it and fuck I think I like you too?
Somewhere along the way of getting into bar
fights together, staying up all night with movie marathons, other friendship
things, I’ve fallen in love with you but oh my god this could ruin EVERYTHING
Friends with benefits oh wait I like you
FAKE DATING HOLY SHIT I LIVE FOR THIS
It’s my highschool reunion and I need a hot date
so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me
My homophobic parents are coming to visit will
you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?
There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will
you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?
I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d
stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in
too deep I need a fake boyf ASAP
The first words your true love(s) will say to
you are tattooed on you and why the fuck are their first words something really
ridiculous like ‘I’ll pay you a tenner to punch me in the face’ or ‘quick
what’s your favourite animal’ or ‘fucking shit hell holy fuck wow oh my god
jesus h Christ fuck me’ etc. or even worse a really ridiculous song lyric like the opening lines of uptown funk or a high
school musical song or smthing did you have to serenade me the first time you
saw me asshole?
You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when
you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or an
overwhelming feeling that Thatcher was a good prime minister or an image in my
mind of a fucking unicorn
The more ridiculous the better actually
Something like whenever your soulmate sings a
duet you can’t help but join in and my fucking soulmate is in a goddamn band
but I can’t sing for shit
Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze
at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just
sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w
character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s
Alternate universes for real
Siren and asexual pirate who doesn’t understand
why all his crew are losing their shit that person has a nice voice sure but
what the fuck is happening
We live in a world where the greek gods are real
and you went and got yourself cursed and now I have to go on a fucking quest to
sort this shit out why do I love you again?
Pacific rim au (either they’re drift compatible
or one of them is a ranger and the other stresses constantly bc what if they
die yes I have read a fic like this no I didn’t come up with this one but it’s
fucking good) (also if you haven’t seen that film go watch it now)
Literally any movie or book universe you like
tbh just go for it
Other aus that I like
I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has
to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck
at the top? Fuck
We work in the same office and you have a
goddamn squeaky chair and you wONT FUCKING STOP SQUEAKING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW
IT ANNOYS ME
Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and
I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this
It started to snow and I’m the only one of our
friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others
would go out in the snow with you (this works best if they’re new friends who
don’t know each other all that well) when you shoved a handful of snow down my
back and declared snow war
It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still
November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the
tree out no stop please stop (if you do this pre-relationship you can have the
grouchy one secretly finding the other’s excitement endearing and falling in
love with them actually that works for established relationship too)
Current partner got a new job in America (or
other country far away) and we’re getting by on skype calls and emails but it’s
not easy and then I met someone new (can be poly or can be finding the OTP person)
You want us both to get in shape and I hate
working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do
for my friends and their nice asses
on from 10.vii. you’ve caught me checking you out in what I thought was a
subtle way too many times and now you’re calling me out on it what do I do???
You’re an actor/other famous person that I
really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or
not to say hi you came up to me and
started flirting what do I do??
You were waving at your friend behind me but I
got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you
think it’s cute
I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking
but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think
it’s hilarious and shut up you dumb fuck you don’t know me aahhh
I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk
guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t
dance with you omg let me find you some water
best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each
other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about
how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”
pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention
and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait
you’re cuter up close and the way you talk is kind of nice actually oh fuck no
Okay I could go on forever but this is over 1,500 words of
auing already I have too many ideas christ
DO NOT THROW ANYTHING ON AN IDOL!! It doesn’t matter if it’s just a stuffed animal, a banner or anything else. Do not throw anything on them. It’s understandable that you want them to find and play with your stuff but don’t aim at them. Throw them on stage when no one is around.
Chanyeol might have brushed it off today and acted all cute, but you don’t know what might happen in the future. Someone might get hurt so please stop aiming the idols/ throwing stuff on stage.