angry-walter

I just want to say something to everyone angry at Walter.

Not in a confrontational way, just in a “please read what I have to say” way.

I have this problem, a lovely result of one of my mental illnesses that causes me to have missing time.  It’ll be 1pm, I’ll blink and it’s 6pm, and I’ll pick up my phone and see texts and Facebook activity that I genuinely do not remember. A guest will come down to the desk at work and ask me if I’ve worked out teh situation yet and I don’t know what they’re talking about.  I have an entire class that I took in college that I only know I took because I have a grade.  I vaguely remember talking to the prof once.  But that is three hours a week for an entire semester that I do not have in my memories.  Missing time is some of the most terrifying shit I’ve ever experienced and it’s something you really cannot understand unless you live it.

When I had my wisdom teeth out I was terrified I was going to say or do something embarassing while under the effects of the meds. I made my mom take all my electronics and demanded she not give them back to me until I was back to myself, and I made her promise that if I ended up not remembering anything that happened, she had to tell me. This happened a few years before the missing time from mental illness started, but I’ve always been anxious about other people having memories of me that I don’t have of myself.  In college some classmates would tell me things I said or did, sometimes teasing me, sometimes really telling me, and I would have no idea if they were telling me the truth or not.  Thankfully, so far, I’ve never been made aware of me saying or doing anything largely significant during these missing time periods.  But if I did ever find out I did, I’d feel terrified, embarassed, betrayed, and violated.  I’d react to that in a way that people who don’t have these issues - and even some that do, since we all react differently - wouldn’t understand. 

Team Scorpion had the gaps in Walter’s memory that he didn’t have.  They didn’t tell him because they believed it was best (and I agree that they made the right decision at the time even though I am annoyed that Paige essentially flaunted Tim in front of him and acted like she had no idea why Walter couldn’t just like the guy), but Walter can’t see that right now.  He’s not capable of that right now.  All he understands is the first part of that sentence.  They didn’t tell him.  He feels safe around that team and right now he probably doesn’t feel safe, especially since they kept denying it and a few of them tried to laugh it off.  This is probably the first time he’s experienced missing time and those minutes he hadn’t had were some of the most significant of his life.  It is going to take him longer than a few hours of thinking upstairs for him to fully process it.  

He’s acting rashly, and it’s not because of his IQ vs his EQ.  It’s because that sort of thing can be legitimately traumatic and I know this firsthand.  

How Strange It Is To Be Alive

Here’s a masterpost of my covenant fic, which should be easier to update than just posting a link to the new chapter.

Anyway, this is an AU exploring the parallels between Walter and David, instead of everything that happened at the end, Walter offered to stay in exchange for the lives of the crew (and also out of curiosity).

Chapters:

  • Stay -  This chapter is setting up the premise of the AU, that is, Walter stays behind with David.
  • Dreams -  Here, Walter asks David about what it is to dream.
  • Mourn -  Walter gets up close and personal with the facehugger eggs and they discuss the concept of loss and mourning.
  • Absence -  Walter confronts David about Elizabeth, which turns into David confronting Walter about Daniels. Also, they’re hanging out in the Engineer’s ship.
  • Home -  In this chapter we get what most of you probably came here for, another kiss. Also, discussions about what’s changed and fear and where Weyland Corp. went wrong.
  • Water -  In this chapter Walter confronts David about what he’s trying to do. David’s very angry about humanity. Walter theorizes about something David didn’t really want to admit to himself.
  • Love -  This chapter is pretty much ‘David realizes he’s in love and that love feels an awful lot like fear 24/7’.
  • Alone - Have you ever wanted an entire chapter about just hugging it out? Well, this is the chapter for you. David finally works up the courage to talk to Walter, finds out that he also feels alone too, and then they hug. That’s it. Also, this is the song Walter’s singing, it’s kinda sad sounding but that’s Dmitri Shostakovich for you!
RIP, Maxtor

My primary external drive has stopped working. D:<

When I turn it on, all I hear is a “click-click-click.” The USB sound chimes on my desktop, and that’s as far as it gets.

Thankfully, I backup my files fairly often - I have a higher capacity Seagate drive - but dang it, I really liked my Maxtor. My brother gave it to me a few years back. I know I didn’t lose any major files, but it’s still upsetting.

I feel this is an appropriate time to introduce Walter the Angry Hummingbird:

Walter sums up how I feel about it (though greatly exaggerated).

3

Baby blue jay ft. angry screaming parent

Walter surprisingly did not try to eat it, only sniffed it and was really curious. I left it in our backyard bc when I took it to the front of the house it immediately tried to run into traffic so

Our backyard should b pretty safe for it as long as dog is supervised

Yue: “Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad?”

Walter: “Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated.”

Raymond: “smad!”

I’m seeing a lot of people angry at Walter for going from “aww look at Toby proposing to Happy so cute” all over his face to “yeah bury your feelings relationships suck.”

But like that literally fits his character?

Please hear your resident Walter Apologist out ok.

In 2.01, he and Paige have a very explicit conversation about how relationships could hurt the team.  In 1.21, we saw the team very nearly fall apart, and he and Paige reference that night in their conversation.  Keep in mind that night included someone leaving in near tears.

We see him react to Quintis’ relationship in 2.17, believing that their relationship could pose risk to the team, but Happy and Toby both show him that they actually work together better as a couple than they did apart.

But in 2.23 he’s still scared to initiate anything with Paige, because “there’s risk involved.” He’s afraid that he’ll lose her.  He’s afraid that if they went for it and took the emotional plunge and it didn’t work, they’d fall apart.

Very. next. episode. Toby is in danger and Happy takes a risk to save him, and she does.  They make it through.  Walter knows they love each other.  Love is also brought up by Master of Mind Games Collines, and he says it makes them weak, and it’s better to be alone.  Walter says no, he’s wrong.

Then comes the proposal.  The couple that has shown Walter that love can conquer even death seems to be getting engaged and he’s happy, because he loves both of them, because they’re a family and love makes the family stronger.  There were articles published that said Walter and Paige both were watching Quintis, to see if and how it’d work.  So Walter is watching this proposal probably thinking about how emotional risk can pay off, and people can be happy.

But then it falls apart.  And just like last year, a team member flees the garage in tears.

Walter panicks, internally.  He’s been allowing himself to think about love and he’s just defended love and relationships within the team to Collins but now it’s falling apart.  Scorpion almost died a year ago and now it’s on life support again.

His under developed emotional side’s response is to pull back, do a system reset, restore Scorpion to the last point he knew it worked, or lose it entirely.  He’s distressed at his friends’ pain (he basically says so in his talk with Paige when he brings up how it’s awful Happy is crying and Toby’s reaction WALTER IS THINKING ABOUT HIS FRIENDS’ FEELINGS YAY CHARACTER GROWTH) and he’s probably even more scared now of how he feels for Paige because he just saw Quintis blow up in his face and he’s remembering how Scorpion, the only family most of them has ever had, almost died last year.  And he’s desperate to protect it.

So yes, Toby was right, he was an ass.  But I don’t think the whiplash between smiling at the proposal and insisting everyone suppress their feelings was OOC or forced.