angrbodas

If Vikings had memes
  • I want Freya to break into my house and use her falcon cloak to strangle me, killing me instantly
  • The Lokasenna but every time someone is kinkshamed it gets faster
  • Self-care is putting your hand inside a giant wolf’s mouth
  • Wake Brynhildr up (Wake Brynhildr up inside)
  • “Girls are so hot. Guys are so hot. Why is everybody so hot?” “It’s Ragnarok, and Surtur’s already fucking shit up”
  • Date a boy who thinks goats make wonderful pets
  • Are you a Frigg wlw or a Fulla wlw
  • “Are you a man or a woman?” “I’m Loki” “No, I mean, what’s your gender?” “Mischief” “Ok, but what’s between your legs?” “Sigyn, generally. Or Angrboda. Or Svadilfari. Or Odin, that one time…”
  • Brace yourself: Fimbulvetr is coming
  • Njord: *takes a deep breath* I lo-
    Skadi: yes, you love the sea, I know, you love the sea so much, it’s the light of your life, you love it so much, you just love the sea, I KNOW, you love the sea you fucking love the sea ok I know, I get it, YOU LOVE the sea. I GET IT.                                                              
  • “don’t talk to me or my eight-legged foal ever again” 
  • Mani: *currently engaged in a flame war over mooncourse with Artemis*
  • Odin: *disguised as a harmless old wanderer* A buddy of mine saw Odin take his shirt off in the shower and he said that Odin has an eight pack, that Odin is shredded
    Frigg: Your friend’s a liar, Odin is a punk bitch

Loki and Children

I have been having some thoughts about the original mythological Loki and the thought that has been on my mind most is this:

Loki is

1. Surprisingly great with kids

2. Is addicted to parenthood

Let me explain.

As to the first bit, well, yeah, it’s surprising. Or it should be at first glance. Because, seriously, this is fucking Loki. Standing in close proximity to him for longer than a minute is bound to result in theft, arson, a splash of bloodshed for color, and at least one confused party waking up in bed with the fucker. He’s a chaotic, manic, and generally hazardous force to be reckoned with.

To us. That is, adults.

Mortals, gods, giants, trolls, dwarves, et cetera–but only those who are mature.* *Read: there is Something to be Gained from conning, seducing, or otherwise messing with us. Whether it’s to save his own skin, or to get some sweet petty vengeance, or to steal a bauble, or to satisfy some carnal itch, or to just fuck up somebody’s day for the Hel of it, Loki only ever targets those he can take something worthwhile from. 

And what is there to take from kids? 

Plenty of folks on his extremely extensive Enemies List have children, of course. No one in the Norse mythos was especially mindful of dropping their seed. So. Children.

Children–easy to fool, easy to make a hostage, easy to charm and siphon their parents’ secrets and treasures from–should be great big bullseyes to the God of Mischief and Trickery and Assorted Other Unscrupulous Things. Yet there isn’t a single Edda or snippet of lore in which Loki makes cruel use of them. Not once. 

But what’s the big deal? Most of the rude and/or villainous characters in Norse mythology don’t bother with harassing kids either. Except in the case of stories like Loka Táttur.

Loka Táttur is a tale about how a farmer loses a bet with a vicious troll who swears to kill the farmer’s little boy. The farmer calls upon three gods in turn. Odin, Hoenir, and Loki. Odin and Hoenir both disguise the boy and hide him away, but the troll is too clever and each time manages to sniff out the boy’s hiding place. Ultimately it is Loki who hides the kid–pulling an Idunn-in-a-Nutshell gag and hiding him as a speck on the eye of a flounder in the water–and then, rather than stepping back as Odin and Hoenir did from their work, he sits in his boat and lets the troll see him.

The troll, being suspicious, asks what Loki’s business is. Only fishing, obviously. The troll demands to join him. Lo and behold, they bring up a wealth of flounders, including the one where the boy’s hidden. Loki manages to change the boy back to his true shape and hide the kid behind his back without the troll noticing. As Loki brings the boat back to shore, and to the farmer’s boathouse with the latter’s doors open, Loki tells the boy to run through the boathouse. He goes, the troll gives chase, and the troll becomes wedged in the entryway. 

At which point Loki proceeds to chop off the troll’s legs and stick an iron stake in the bastard’s skull. Then he walks the kid back home. The grand payoff for Loki after all this? 

The boy is safe. The troll is dead. The End.

Huh.

Now, much as Loki may have been the catalyst for a lot of corpses pre-Ragnarok–see his business with Thor getting his hammer back and leading more than one giant into a death trap–Loki is actually very rarely, if ever, one to get his hands dirty by killing a victim himself. Even Baldr was done in by an arrow he aimed with blind Hod’s fingers. So why did Loki personally orchestrate this plan in such a grisly way? For what gain?

What, other than the satisfaction of personally slaughtering the would-be child-killing prick troll?

In a less bloody narrative, we see his hand in getting Thialfi and Roskva, a pair of mortal siblings, taken into Thor’s service. While the exact ages of the two aren’t mentioned, they are young enough to still be in the care of their parents. When Thor and Loki are travelling it’s their father who invites them under their roof. Thor’s goats are slaughtered for the evening meal and–in some tellings–it is Loki who entices the son, Thialfi, into breaking a leg bone to taste the marrow. When morning comes and Thor resurrects his goats, one has a broken leg.

Thor’s visibly pissed—never ever a good thing–and so the family offers to make some compensation.

Loki, coughing through his hand: ThialfibroketheboneheshouldpledgeservicetoThor

Thialfi: Uh–

Loki, clearing his throat: Alsotakethesistertwoforonedeal

Rosvka: But I didn’t do anything—

Loki, en sotto voce: Kids, consider your options. Teensy mortal lifetime of toil on Midgard, harvesting dirt and snow on one hand. Potentially immortal lifetime, I don’t know, scrubbing giant blood off Mjolnir in Thor’s hall on Asgard on the other. Verdict?

Both: Sold.

Loki: Excellent! Really, Thor, you’re a master dealmaker, a born barterer, I’m in awe.

Thor: Wh—

Loki: AND WE’RE BACK TREKKING LETS GO

Cue laugh track.

Point being, Loki has been shown to purposefully go out of his way to help kids because…because. Yet how does this translate to the idea of him being good with kids?

I ask this purely hypothetically and am trying not to laugh as I do, because really. Really. How in the hell is a kid not going to be entertained by the Norse god of revelry and recreation?

Oh yeah, that bit’s often left off the résumé.

Loki, God of Mischief, is also God of Recreation. Play, in other words. Because playtime is a thing that is Chaotic rather than a product of Order, and so Loki is naturally all over it. There are some who even credit him with having added that trait to the first humans, Ask and Embla, while Odin, Vili, and Vé were carving them and breathing character into their souls.

On top of that, he’s also the god of flyting—poetic shit-talking.

So we have a shapeshifting, storytelling, magic-wielding, game-spinning, trickster god who can also teach young ears every bad word they could ever hope to learn, and he’s expected not to be a hit with kids? This is all without even mentioning the fact that Loki is a bit of a hyperactive attention hog all on his own. What better audience for him than a gaggle of credulous little onlookers who are too young to sneer at his antics rather than take delight in them? Children are wee balls of mischief themselves, muddled in with imagination and wonder and an eagerness to be wowed or made to laugh themselves into weeping.

All of which brings me to point number two:

Loki is a kidaholic.

Like, even though a lot of his and/or her sleeping around the Realms can be chalked up to an insane libido, there’s also just the sheer number of kids they’ve produced to factor in. Maybe more than even Odin or Thor could boast. At least half being born from Loki herself. Not because Loki was helpless against the workings of nature—it’s impossible to believe that Loki wasn’t smart enough or powerful enough to get around producing new Lokisons and Lokisdottirs with every other bedmate—but because Loki wants more kids. There will never be enough kids.

The guy’s got a case of severe paternal/maternal hoarding going on. I mean

Loki: I need another one.

Odin: You really don’t.

Loki: You’re right. I need two other ones.

Odin: I am positive that you do not.

Loki: Three. Triplets. Need them. Right now.

Odin: Loki.

Loki: Four? Four. Definitely four.

Odin: Loki, please.

Loki: Yeah, let’s go with four. I can give or get. I’ll flip a coin.

Odin: Loki, as Allfather, I am expressly forbidding you to impregnate or be impregnated for at least a century.

Loki: Fine.

Odin: …

Loki: …I’ll settle for three.

Odin: What did I just say?

Loki: Three’s a good number, isn’t it? All good things come in threes. You and your brothers—

Odin, fighting an aneurysm: You and your brothers—

Loki: So you agree!

Odin: I did not—

Loki: Three it is!

Odin: Loki—

Loki: Be back when I feel like it

Odin: Loki

Loki: Give my love to Sleipnir

Odin: LOKI—

Loki, pantsless, vaulting over the wall, cartwheeling towards Jötunheimr’s Ironwood forest: Bye

It’s in that Ironwood that he meets Angrboda and fathers a giant wolf, a giant snake, and the literal corpse-faced queen-goddess of the dead by her. Being that Loki’s scope of attractiveness/aesthetic acceptability is elastic enough to let all sorts of species between his legs, I find it hard to believe that his kids’ unique looks would repulse or even faze him. They’re his children. Therefore they’re great.

And we all know how that happy family ended up. Ditto his second family with Sigyn and his two little twin boys.

Enter Ragnarok, warfare, general Bad Times, and so on.

Anyway.

Comical as it is to envision a Loki who cringes at the notion of parenthood and/or fears his more monstrous children, I just don’t believe it lines up with what we know of the Loki of myth.

Myth Loki is a god who would spend hours entertaining a child, simply entertained that the child is entertained.

Myth Loki is also a god who would hunt down and methodically dismember whichever idiot thought it would be okay to make a child cry within said god’s earshot.

windowpains7213  asked:

I've noticed that you mentioned Wiccans a lot. My MC is a witch, and I wasn't really aware of other kinds of witches, even though I did thorough research. What other kinds of witches are there? Just fyi, she is a mostly-closet witch, and uses stones as connections to places. She mostly uses runecasting and entomomancy (especially beetles and spiders). What might she choose to align with, if anything?

There are, honestly, so many more choices than just Wicca. I’ll try to list several, but do not take this as an exhaustive list. I have added resources where I could, and please forgive the length…

Asatru

An Asatru witch follows a specific branch of Heathenry that worships the major Nordic pantheon.

http://www.ravenkindred.com/index.html

Athiest/Laveyan Satanic (Secular Satanic)

This witch feels more that Satan is a concept or idea, not an actual entity.

http://www.churchofsatan.com/

Celtic

This witch uses the Celtic culture, including its’ mythology, deities, old ways, and language / symbols as a means of learning, internalizing, and performing magic.

http://www.joellessacredgrove.com/Celtic/celtictraditions.html

Christian

A witch that honors and worships the Christian God through the practice of magic, usually alongside more traditional Christian worship.

http://arganteswell.tripod.com/id1.html

Death/Necromancy

This witch utilizes magic through the bodies and spirits of the dead. This can include bones, blood, skin, and other pieces of the corporeal form left when the spirit leaves, as well as contact with the spirit that has left its physical form behind.

http://sarahannelawless.com/2011/11/13/lets-talk-about-necromancy/

Druidism

Is a very old, and very complex set of religious and nature beliefs changing from region to region, and time to time.

http://www.druidry.org/druid-way/druid-beliefs

Eclectic

A witch who respectfully uses parts of multiple practices, traditions, and paths.

http://www.witchpathforward.com/eclectic-witchcraft.html

Gaulish

This witch pays homage to the Gaulish Gods through the study, reconstruction, and practice of Gaulish tradition.

http://www.deomercurio.be/en/index.html

Heathenry

A witch who follows the ways of, works with, and/or worships the Norse deities.

http://www.heathengods.com/faq/index.htm

Hellenic

A path by which the witch follows Greek traditions and honors the Greek pantheon.

http://www.witchpathforward.com/hellenism.html

Hereditary

This witch was born into a family of witches and so is likely to have practices, traditions, and/or paths that are not usually shared outside of their family practice.

Hoodoo

A complex interweaving of Western African traditions as well as a long history of utilizing Christianity. This is a fairly regional practice of the Southern United States, but can be found elsewhere.

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/black-magic-talking-with-hoodoo-witches

Kemetic

This type of witch works with the Egyptian deities.

http://www.witchpathforward.com/kemetism.html

Lokean

A witch who works with and worships Loki and/or any of his relations (Hel, Jormugandr, Sigyn, Angrboda, etc). This witch may pay homage to other Nordic deities as well.

http://witchesandpagans.com/pagan-culture-blogs/lokean-swamp-witch.html

Odinism

A witch who works majorily, or exclusively, with Odin, Thor, Freyjr, Freyja, Frigga, and Heimdall.

http://www.odinistfellowship.co.uk/

Pop Culture

A pop culture witch uses lyrics or movie lines in spells, worships and/or honors pop culture icons and/or idols. Likely to utilize fandom in some way, it is a very new and wide practice. They could draw inspiration from Harry Potter, Vampire Diaries, Practical Magic, The Craft, Supernatural, or other, similar shows.

http://thepaganstudygrouppage.tumblr.com/post/77850531804/brief-intro-to-pop-culture-magic

Regla de Ocha

A religion that was synthesized by West Africans who were taken and enslaved by the Spanish Empire who were then sent to work on the Caribbean Islands. It mixes West African tradition with worship of saints.

http://www.aboutsanteria.com/what-is-santeria.html

Science

This kind of witch synthesizes their craft from a mixture of empirical evidence/data and metaphysical leanings. It is highly individualized.

http://www.wsusignpost.com/2013/10/26/modern-witchcraft-entails-science/

Secular

This type of witch doesn’t connect with any religious practices, traditions, or paths.

https://thewitchcraftjournal.wordpress.com/2014/03/26/witchcraft-as-a-secular-practice/

Solitary

A witch who practices alone, but follows a particular practice, tradition, path.

(Theistic) Satanic

A witch whose practice revolves around worshiping, honoring, or otherwise appealing to Satan.

http://theisticsatanism.com/varieties/FAQ-TS.html

Traditional

A witch who hunts for the “traditional” ways of magic. Likely to be found scouring through histories and stories looking for references to spellcraft, rituals, and traditions that have since been lost to time.

http://sarahannelawless.com/2015/03/17/introduction-to-traditional-witchcraft/

Voudon

An Afro-Caribbean form of worship that focuses on the loa, and spirits.

http://www.livescience.com/40803-voodoo-facts.html

I hope this put some things in perspective as to just how large witchcraft is, and why I seem to harp about being frustrated that the majority of what I see is Wicca. It is prevalent and popular, not the only way to be a witch, and definitely not the only tradition.

To answer your question about your character, Some of these paths lend themselves more towards nature than others, but I’d suggest rather looking into a tradition/path, look at types of witchcraft instead. Your character most sounds like a variety of Green Witch, and/or Animal Witch.

-Bruxa Guerreira

My casting for Loki’s family so far, a masterpost™ :

Loki:

Originally posted by clairestmple

Sigyn:

Originally posted by omagnetism

Angrboda:

Originally posted by evadaily

Vali:

Originally posted by mozarlin

Narfi:

Originally posted by versailles-gifs

Hela:

Originally posted by marvelheroes

Sleipnir:

Originally posted by blogofmischief

Fenrir:

Originally posted by thats-just-life

Jormungand:

Originally posted by damanon

Darling

Crossposted to AO3

In the East Hall, the Gentry are called Takers-And-Givers. Marie had her best 2B pencil stolen only to find three packs of pencils - different hardnesses, sizes, colours - in her room that evening. Charley’s bottles of milk were stolen in the first week of term but now their whole flat gets weekly deliveries of dairy far better than any bought at the local shops. Sanjeet’s flowers were decimated a week before Valentines, but now they’re the best and brightest blooming flowers on campus.

First they Take and then, later, they Give, something of equal or more value. No one seems to know how or why, it just is, until the new kid arrives in halls - a late transfer, some incident at their last uni dogging her steps, giving her haunted eyes and probably-nightmares and arms clutched close around her chest whenever someone looms too close. 

When people ask, she says to call her Ravenna. That that’s not her name, but her actual name isn’t one she trusts anymore, that it makes her feel unsafe in her own skin. So everyone in the Hall calls her Ravenna, or, sometimes, Blackbird if they know her well enough, and give her space.

She hates beyond hate to be touched.

Marie sees her one day, within touching distance of one of the Takers-and-Givers often seen around East Hall. They go by Darling - an odd moniker for a six foot creature with a greenish cast to their skin and a bird’s nest of hair, but no one would ever dare say anything to them. They stand just within arms-reach of Ravenna, watching down at the short girl with half-narrowed eyes.

“I don’t want to be afraid,” Ravenna is saying. “I'm sick of it. They say you can help with that, that you can take something away and give something in return. Can you take away my fear?”

Marie almost bolts down the hall to Ravenna, almost warns her against making a deal with the Takers-And-Givers, almost warns her against even mentioning the distance they are from normal but Darling only smiles gently, politely, not the predatory way they had when Marcus from Sumner’s Hall had tried to strike a bargain.

“No one can take your fear,” Darling says. “It’s yours. But if you give me a taste of it then I will give you protection when you are fearing.”

Marie starts backing down the hall, back towards her room, but she still sees Ravenna pause, nod, and go completely rigid as Darling bends their head to gently kiss her.

A wind blows down the hall, smelling of chickens and straw and Michaelmas daisies and Darling is vanished.

Keep reading

I know a lot of people believe that Gullveig is Freyja, but I think it’s not 100% attested so I won’t be totally off base by saying: the other day I had this sudden Angrboda UPG flash into my head while driving, that what if her heart was the one “thrice burned” by Aesir, except maybe in a metaphorical sense because her three children with Loki were taken from her, and her grief pushes her to learn more magic and become more skilled? And then later, Loki consumes her heart (… metaphorically again?) and she impregnates him (maybe partially both out of spite for the fear against their other kids) and from this Loki births witches/monsters?

Idk, thoughts? Personally I kind of like the idea for myself as long as there’s not some obvious lore thing I’m missing as a relative newbie that would make it extremely unreasonable.