a detailed analysis of why this is the worst picture i’ve ever seen in my life:
- auston matthews has been taken over by a demon
- his eyes are dark and empty, because they are not eyes, but rather pools of despair, entrances into the void
- he has seen everything, he has seen nothing, he has not yet begun to see yet he has been seeing since the dawn of time
- Bad Hat
- zip up over polo
- like i still think he looks good? even though his zipper is Doing That and i feel like he’s about to guide me across the river styx i still want to look at it? his face is good?
- the blatant display of the nike checks on both of them. i know it shouldn’t bother me, but it does.
- mitchell marner is wearing a bucket hat.
- bro, you just– it’s a bucket hat.
- a bucket hat.
- it’s a ¾ face selfie. not a half face selfie, no no no. three quarters. you can see half of one of his eyes.
- bad angle
- is mitch smiling? is he trying to? is he about to? why is it so ambiguous. clearly his mouth is gesturing towards a smile but it’s not a smile. what’s going on.
- the emoji is so large
- also mitch’s eyes look so nice it’s annoying me
in conclusion i hate this photo but also love it and want it to win several photography awards.