angelinas leg

mystereoheart  asked:

hey! now that i know you're a general art history nerd, do you have any analyses about the Madonna With the Long Neck by Parmigianino? I hate on this painting so much any time the subject of mannerism comes up but every time I visit the Uffizi I have to visit it, it makes me laugh and cry tears of frustration and I can't help but love it a lot. It's just a beautifully rendered goddamn mess. I was wondering if you had any insights?

Hey! I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer this! I’ve been caught up in school, but I didn’t mean to put it off for so long!

Anyhow, I actually LOVE Madonna with a Long Neck. Haha! That being said, I ALSO agree that it is a “beautifully rendered mess”- but that’s part of why I love it. For anyone reading this response who doesn’t know what we’re talking about, here is “Madonna with a Long Neck” by Paramigianino from 1535-1540:

There’s definitely a lot about this that is distinctly wtf. The weird composition with everyone pushed up to the front, the strange, incomplete architecture in the background, the strange dude in the right corner that looks tiny and far away but the longer you look the more it seems like he’s actually much close and just abnormally tiny like a barbie doll. The terrifying, giant baby Jesus that looks a few steps away from being a Silent Hill monster…. There’s…. a lot going on here.

So this painting is one of the most well-known and typical paintings in what is called the Mannerist tradition of art (as you already mentioned in your ask). I will preface by saying that I haven’t studied Mannerism extensively so I may be a bit off on a few points, but what I will say is that Mannerism is WEIRD. It’s important to note that while there was a particular trend of art style in this time which is denoted as “mannerist”, the artists themselves didn’t come up with the term or defined “movement”. 

“Mannerism” was a term applied by later art historians who came up with it from an except in Vasari’s Lives of the Artist’s about Michelangelo. Vasari referred to Michelangelo’s individual and idiosyncratic style as his “maniera” in reference to his particular handling. (Not that Michelangelo is considered a mannerist- this is just where historians got the term. This is important to note because the sort of post-definition of the art movement means that he artists themselves weren’t necessarily working with a set of rules defining the “movement” they were a part of, and so mannerist paintings can vary wildly. 

The main definer of Mannerism, though, is the sort of decadence which led to a distinct sense of artificiality to the work. I mean look at the painting up there: the lushness of the fabrics, the compressed and therefore almost chaotic but beautiful composition of figures, the elongated anatomy and poor sense of gravity- Baby Jesus looks like he’s in the middle of straight up dropping off of her lap and onto the ground. 

Perfect example? Look at that angel in the front’s leg. It’s out there like BAM. Saucy. It’s like Angelina Jolie’s leg at the Oscars- and like Jolie’s leg, the effect is both dramatic and beautiful while also being so performative and jarring that it’s ridiculous at the same time and you can’t help but laugh.

But that’s just it. That’s what I love about Mannerist paintings: their artificiality and almost parody-level dramatics are so perfectly balanced with the beautiful elements that you’re not quite sure if the ridiculousness was intentional or not. Look at another classic example of Mannerism to drive the point home. 

Venus, Cupid, Folly, and Time, by Bronzino from 1545:

Like…. Holy shit. There is…… I don’t even know where to begin with this cacophony of confusing, vaguely terrifying/vaguely erotic shit right here. Somehow, the longer you look, the pre-teen-looking Eros with a spine made of silly puttie casually getting to second base with his own mom is the LEAST unsettling thing here.

But I don’t know. It’s certainly an engaging painting. And despite the numerous classically technical flaws, it’s extremely technically impressive at the same time.

For me, what I’ve always liked about Mannerism is that I’ve always kind of thought of it as a sort of pseudo-pre-surrealism. 

So that was probably a way longer answer than you wanted, but it’s pretty difficult for me to not go on endlessly about art history.

anonymous asked:

Both Fred and George Weasley are aro ace and form deep qprs with Lee and Angelina. They were always confused when told about "crushes" and stuff and turned to jokes and pranks about it instead. - Hufflepuff

Honestly, for the longest time, Fred and George thought they were being pranked whenever people discussed romance and crushes and sexual desires. They knew, realistically, that these things must exist - their parents seemed happy together and their relationship was differently than purely friendly. But that always seemed so distant and far off. Something only a few people felt. Bill got flirty with some people, but never seriously dated (until Fleur). Charlie never dated at all. Percy didn’t date for the longest time (or hid it really well). But when Ron and Ginny started dating, Fred and George began to realize that maybe it wasn’t just some elaborate prank everyone was pulling on them.

~

Fred and George intensely watched Lee and Angelina, heads bent close together as they whispered and laughed together, sitting close and not bothered by the lack of personal space.

“Do you think they’re dating?” George asked, slowing starting to understand the fact that romance wasn’t just an elaborate prank everyone was pulling on him and his twin brother. 

“I think you’re starting to cross the line into paranoid, mate,” Fred replied. He’d wrapped his mind around people dating for real, even though he still didn’t understand it. George was tending to think everyone who spent time together was dating, while Fred still assumed they were all friends. “If you really wanna know, I suppose we could, y’know, ask them.”

George frowned, then brightened. “True,” he said, up and moving towards their pals before he’d even finished the word. Fred automatically stepped into pace with his twin.

“Oi, what’s up?” Fred said loudly, collapsing onto a seat next to Lee as George placed himself by Angelina.

Angelina rolled their eyes at them. “I guess we should be asking you two that,” she said.

“Georgie and I were wondering if you two were dating,” Fred said, cutting right to the chase.

Angelina rolled her eyes again while Lee laughed, slipping an arm over Fred’s neck and shoulder, hanging off him in a friendly manner. “No, mate, not quite.”

“I’m totally confused,” George said. “I can’t figure out who is dating and who isn’t. Color me stumped.”

Angelina patted George’s leg. “No worries. It’s not typically any of your business if people are dating each other. Since you’re not interested in dating anybody, I can’t really think of many circumstances where you would actually need to know, other than just pure curiosity.”

“See, George, nothing for us to worry about,” Fred said brightly.

“I’m not worried,” George clarified. “Just confused. Why do people even want to date? There’s so many better things you could be doing,” he wrinkled his nose.

Angelina finally laughed. “People wonder the same thing about many of your interests. People just enjoy different things,” she said kindly.

“You were onto something, though,” Lee said. “Angelina and I aren’t dating, but we are in a queerplatonic relationship. Easiest way to explain that is a ‘committed friendship’. There’s just so much here that we go through that others, even you two, can’t understand. We really had to rely on each other for support. Fortunately, we each have very agreeable personalities -” at this, Angelina let out a snort of smothered laughter, “and get along very well. We’ve gotten close enough that we wanted some way to label that and commemorate that, so we decided on a qpr.”

“Hey, another relationship type I think I can actually understand!” George said.

George had just been excited to come to some realizations, but Fred couldn’t get the idea of being in a qpr out of his head after that. It was hard for him, especially, to tell his friends and family how he felt about them out loud. Being in a qpr seemed like it could be a good, serious way for him to show his closest friends just how much he cared for them, even if he had a hard time articulating it.

When he nervously (which he covered up by being extremely awkward and even more loud than usual) approached Lee and Angelina about also being in a qpr with them, George had immediately followed suit, not wanting to be left out of something so important to his friends - or to himself.

~Hufflepuff Mod

First impression - Greece

-that takes the whole ‘angelina jolie leg’ to a whole new level

-Rain background… bit too typical

-Aiiii offkey

-But the background changed to gold so Im okay

-What is happening with the backup dancers?

-It looks like they’re fanatically doing yoga in a puddle…. shirtless.,.. in the middle of a eurovision stage

-OH AND A CUTE HEART A THE END THAT LOOKED NOTHING LIKE A HEART BUT THEY TRIED SO