anesthetize moments

Sing About Tragedy

**This didn’t show up in the tag last night, so I’m trying again**

Summary: Abby finds out Marcus’ name wasn’t on Clarke’s list and must deal with the consequences of what it means for her relationship with her daughter and with the man she loves. Set in some alternate S4 future after Abby returns from Becca’s lab and Marcus gets out of whatever mess he’s in with Azgeda. :/

Author’s Note: This is the angsty-est 8,000-word thing I’ve written in a long time, but I just couldn’t let that list plot go without exploring the idea that Abby might find out he wasn’t mentioned. Don’t hate me. Cry with me instead.  

Pairings: Kabby, and hella implied Raveric/Puppy Mechanic because I’m TRASH NOW AND THE TRASH CAN IS WHERE I RESIDE

Abby smiled as she moved through Medical, taking care to keep her steps as quiet as she could. For the moment, her only patient was Octavia Blake – freshly returned from another brush with death, which seemed to be a talent of hers – and two members of their camp had hardly left her side for the day’s duration.

Bellamy had set up a chair next to his sister’s cot, sat down, and proceeded not to move an inch for at least three hours. Octavia had yet to awaken – she’d been bruised pretty badly, and one of her legs had been fractured – this was, of course, factoring out the stab wound she’d sustained from Echo. With her hair fanning out in all directions like a raven waterfall, she appeared the most peaceful Abby had ever seen her. No matter how ardently she reassured her older brother that she was going to be fine, he seemed determined to be there the moment the anesthetic wore off.

“They’re both asleep,” Jackson noted, his gaze drifting from Bellamy to his companion as his lips formed a wry smile. “Didn’t you offer to let them know when she woke up?”

“I did,” she sighed, a slow quirk at the corners of her lips forming a mirror image of Jackson’s expression. Of all the things that had surprised her with the oncoming nuclear meltdown, this wouldn’t have come close to making the list. “They didn’t listen.”

Jackson’s smile widened. “As long as they’re resting,” he said, his focus switching to the test tubes of Nightblood they had managed to manufacture in Becca’s lab. Or rather, the person standing next to them, drumming her fingers absentmindedly against the countertop. Jackson asked permission with a glance, and Abby nodded. There was nothing more he could do for Octavia: now it was a waiting game to see how she felt when she awakened.

Abby watched as Raven met Jackson with a smile, and they began an animated discussion about the contents on the counter in front of them. At one point, she thought she even heard Raven laugh – a welcome change from her demeanor only weeks ago. Jackson, it seemed, had that effect on her. Thank you, Jackson.

Abandoned by her assistant, Abby’s gaze drifted to the man sitting in a chair on the opposite side of Octavia’s cot. Marcus had tried to find things to do in Medical for the past few hours as the sky darkened, for what Abby guessed was a two-pronged reason: to spend time with her and to be there for Octavia. The majority of his day had been spent in meetings; time with Clarke, Jaha, and others. Now, it seemed, the steady flow of duties had slowed to a trickle, and he had time to spare in awaiting Octavia’s recovery.

He hadn’t had time to tell her the specifics of what happened, but it was obvious enough that he and Bellamy had thought she was dead. From the weight in his tone and the regret in his eyes, she guessed their last conversation hadn’t been a pleasant one. It was a sharp, white-hot pain Abby knew all too well; when she had been in space and her daughter on the ground, regret and grief had almost swallowed her whole, sanded down the edges of her will to keep fighting for what was right.

Thankfully, she thought, they managed to salvage their relationship and come to an understanding about what happened to her father. To realize Marcus had gone through a similar stage, all while being captured by Azgeda…it was almost too much for her to bear. Octavia might not have been his daughter, but he certainly loved her like one: his relief at seeing her alive was enough to prove it.

As if her soft stare was enough to wake him, Marcus blearily lifted his head and found Abby looking at him from across the room. Instinctively, they both smiled. In the past she might have been embarrassed for him to find out she’d been watching him sleep. After all, it was an intimate thing – in sleep, he appeared weightless, unburdened, calmness and tranquility having filled in gaps where stress and anxiety vacated – and while she couldn’t say she’d never done it before they were together, it meant something different now. Every touch, every glance, every word was a treasure.

Keep reading

Why was there blood on some pages of the journal?

So while I was writing this theory earlier this week, I came across something interesting, and it’s been in my head all week. What’s up with all the blood?

Needless to say, it’s not there for the aesthetic. 

Many have brought forth the theory that the blood is from Ford implanting the metal plate in his head, and I love this theory, but there may be more to it than we thought. More under the cut. Note: It’s long, but in-depth.

The only pages of journal 3 with blood that we have seen (on the show, at least—can’t flippin’ wait for that replica to be leased!) include: Bill’s Journal 3 entry (pictured above), the Society of the Blind Eye’s entry, and the Category 9 Ghost entry. 

The only pages of Journal 2 that have blood on them include the Cycloptopus page and the Possession page. It’s strange— not even the blood rain page has actual blood on it, just orange-red marker. 

So, let’s go through them one page at a time try to come up with a reasonable explanation for the pages of this moderately-scientific research journal to be, in some instances, drenched with blood. 

Journal 2

The Cycloptopus Page

There’s such a minuscule amount of blood on this page, I almost considered not including it, but I figured it’d be good to do so for scale, as to what a normal injury should look like. The cycloptopus is dangerous, and could cause grave injury (at least, we can guess that’s true based on the way Ford talked about it). I feel like, when dealing with a dangerous creature, the amount of blood above is relatively normal. He was bound to get injured eventually (seriously, Ford, lab safety is important) so getting a drop or two on the pages of your very important field research is probably nothing to worry about.

The Possession Page

Oooooh boy, now we’re talking. We’re starting to see some more splattering, reminiscent of a nosebleed instead of a paper cut, and there isn’t exactly a monster on this page—oh wait, yes there is. 

We have a tiny golden sketch of Bill in the upper corner, and that’s a monster if I ever saw one. 

Now, before we talk about the blood, allow me to go on a tiny tangent. We need to decide when in the timeline Ford met Bill. I mentioned before that Bill’s Journal 3 entry has blood on it. I wanted to be specific here, because the other Bill entry, the entry in Journal 2, actually has no blood on it at all. 

In fact, we don’t even have Bill’s name yet. Just a description: “This odd triangular being has appeared in my dreams every night for weeks.

So Bill appeared for Ford long before the guy found the cave inscription and met Bill later that afternoon. Bill was appearing in Ford’s dreams, seemingly also offering information on how to summon him, as well as a few multidimensional arrays. This definitely contributes as to how easily Ford fell for Bill’s “Muse” bit—he had been seeing Bill for weeks beforehand, not to mention, he probably even received bits of help and information: the multidimensional arrays in the upper corner of this page, summoning spells, as well as more sinister entries, like the possession spell above and info for blood rain (fun fact: the blood rain page also has a triangle on it. #themoreyouknow). 

So we can throw out a guess that Ford received the possession spell in a dream and either got himself injured severely or suffered some kind of bleeding as a result, like a nosebleed or something of that sort. Either way, we see our first example of information offered by Bill being dangerous.   

Journal 3

Category 9 Ghost

Here, we have more blood than even the Possession page. My first inclination is to write this up as another injury—after all, we can infer that a category 9 would be a reasonably formidable foe for Ford to go up against. If we are to assume that this guy is basically Freddy Kruger with more variety in the silverware on his fingers, than perhaps his powers work similarly where a grave injury in a dream causes your in-real-life death. That being said, I feel like I’m missing something. There’s probably some information I’m overlooking for this one. If anyone can think of a better answer, I’m definitely all ears.

Society of the Blind Eye

So I already built an in-depth analysis of this page alone, which can be found here, but let me restate my one of my three possible explanations for the blood. The idea here is that Ford was attacked by the Blind Eye for his research of Gravity Falls anomalies, and ended up fighting a member. (This would also account for the reason he was able to spot one of it’s members and draw him out.) There’s a LOT of interesting things on that page, but let’s get back to talking about blood.

Bill Cipher Journal 3

This one sure is a doozy. 

First, let’s look at one of the more popular theories surrounding the blood on this page. The assumption here is that the blood comes from Ford inserting a metal plate into his head. Supporting evidence includes the fact that literally no mentally stable doctor in the world would willingly stuff metal in a guy’s skull, no matter how much grant money Ford throws at the guy, as well as a drawing of an open cranium on the adjacent page. The theory definitely makes sense, and it fits in pretty well.

But I think there’s another theory that fits just as well, if not better.

Firstly, I totally think that Ford inserted that metal plate on his own. No doctor was going to do it, and Ford was desperate. But what spurred such desperation? Picture this:

Ford rushes out of the meditative dreamscape after learning of Bill’s betrayal. His friend Fiddleford suffered a mental breakdown in front of him just minutes before. Ford is realizing the extent of the horror he has unleashed into the world, so he opens the third journal to the entry about Bill and starts scribbling out the praise and writing in warnings. So here, we have an entire page dedicated to Bill, turned into a giant testament against him with warnings in red ink. He needs to let the world know, he needs to rectify this mistake and—

But Bill d o e s n ‘ t   l i k e   t h a t .

So, Bill takes over, decides to teach this guy a lesson, decides to make him pay, makes Ford hurt himself, spilling blood all over this page of Journal 3.

 And whenever Ford gets a little too cocky and writes something Bill doesn’t like, Ford gets another injury, another cut, another bruise. It also explains why he couldn’t disassemble the portal before Stan got there—anytime he tried, Bill would possess him. 

He starts writing all his warnings in invisible ink, even the messages about the end of the world (which no doubt makes them difficult for Stan to find years later.) He’s terrified and paranoid and scared, and can’t sleep, even for a second, because at any point, Bill can take over

because Bill sees everything.

Ford eventually inserts the metal plate into his own skull in a moment of desperation (without anesthetic considering the moment he falls asleep, Bill might possess him mid-surgery).

TLDR: someone hug Ford, pls


HANNIGRAM (and Spacedogs!) FIC RECS: Part 2 : I have had the last ten days off due to this ridiculously high fever, and have been kept alive by the most beautiful fics and ficlets. These are some of my favorites in no particular order! (And I swear when I am no longer dying, I will get back to writing Transcendent Suffering, everyone. I am so SO sorry! D : )

Bloodied, Torn, and Somewhat Hopeful x TheyArePackHunters: Excellent Post S3 Fall
“Will bit back a curse at the pain that shot through his back as he did as he was told. He waited throughout Hannibal’s tsking inspection for arguments to bubble forth, but it was almost as though there were simply too many to start. They were all jostling for position at the back of his throat, and no single one could get through. So he was silent as Hannibal removed his bandages and redid a few sets of stitches before smearing on a local anesthetic and rebandaging him. Will noted he didn’t apply the anesthetic until the last moment, when he no longer had any excuse to be touching Will.“

Somewhere Between x damnslippyplanet: Part One-Five of Hannibal *finally* figuring out he has feelings for Will
“Something’s been spilled and destroyed in this hallway in the last five minutes and he’s not at all sure it’s the flowers. He’s just figured out that he’s human after all, apparently. Suddenly, achingly, human. What an odd way to realize it.How Bedelia would laugh.He wonders if Will knows, or if he’ll be the very last to find out Hannibal’s got a human heart after all.  He wonders how long he can keep the secret, or if he even wants to try.“

Collateral Damage x quenchycactus: Hannibal x Will locked up on opposite sides of BSHCI, all hell ensues and it is glorious.
“Hannibal drives the key into the temple of a still-twitching body, shoulders heaving with heavy breath and a feral look in his eye.  He’d missed the feeling of hot blood on him, the rapturous power ending a life instills him with.  He faces the several guards running down the hallway, and makes no move to kill them.He’s finished, for now. He’s made his point.  They taze him unconscious, and as he blacks out Hannibal finally registers the meaning behind the twin alarms, and warmth blossoms in his chest.Will is painting a picture of his own.“

look at my king, all dressed in red x sidnihoudini: Lovely Post S3
““Sometimes you have to remind me,” He admits, finally.  There are so few lights above them that the stars twinkle brightly.  Despite the beauty of the universe around them, Will can still feel Hannibal watching him intently, his attention nowhere else.  Will considers what he wants to say next, and then quietly settles on, “I get lost.”Hannibal reaches out and wraps one arm around Will’s shoulders to tug their bodies close.  They stand together silently, much like they did on the cliff, with Will’s cheek pressed against Hannibal’s chest, and his eyes quiet and tired.  Hannibal looks up at the stars, finally, and rests his chin on the crown of Will’s head.“We will always find each other in the dark,” Hannibal promises, sounding sure.“

Tea for Two x nightliferogue: the fluffiest fluff ever about Will x Hanni single dads
“Hannibal nodded, pouring them each a glass of wine, “I attempted to recreate a decaffeinated tea fit for children that I researched on the internet.” Will smiled, sitting down in the chair he assumed was for him and picked up the wine for a sip. “Mmm,” he sighed, “This is good.”Hannibal was staring at him oddly, swallowing before he said, “It was my mother’s favorite, I…”“HANNI WE NEED CAKES!”Hannibal smiled, shaking his head, “Duty calls,” he said, standing and heading for the girls who giggled excitedly. Will stared at the way he doted on them both, smiling at Abigail who hugged him around the middle and then Mischa who said, “Abby’s Daddy, isn’t Hanni the best?”Will swallowed, his eyes meeting Hannibal’s. “Yes. Yes, he is.”“

Extra Cheesy x mokuyoubi: Nigel knocks over a store and meets Adam, it’s adorable
“That’s right,” Nigel tells him cheerfully, letting his cigarette hang from the corner of his mouth and patting the guy on the cheek. “Because if you don’t, what’s the fuckin’ point? You do your job half-assed, you’re just gonna ruin everyone else’s goddamn day. Might as well just sit around like a sack of shit at home. Might as well just fuck off and die and stop wasting everyone else’s time, right, Nestor?”Nestor swallows hard, eyes darting over Nigel’s face in something like recognition. Maybe Nigel underestimated him. Maybe he’s got a clue, after all. “Right,” he says, voice nothing more than a whisper.“So what are we going to do about your attitude?” Nigel asks. He slides back to his feet, lets the gun tap rhythmically against his thigh and pretends to consider it.“

Camp Awkward x Hannigrammatic: where Nigel is a cute grumbly bear and a really bad fucking camper
“Loud cursing interrupts Adam’s calm like a record coming to an abrupt, screeching halt. He opens his eyes and tilts his head in the direction the angry voice is coming from. The trees are many and thick at the tops, but through the trunks and the underbrush, he can vaguely see the campsite next to him. There’s a man flailing his hands in the air, and it’s him that the loudness is coming from. Without thinking, Adam lumbers into the trees and heads toward the stranger, noting very quickly that he’s having trouble setting up his tent.
He pushes through a bush with his mouth opened, intending to greet the man and offer his assistance, but instead he finds himself looking down the barrel of a shiny silver revolver.“Uhm,” he manages, mouth opening and closing.“Who the fuck are you?”“I’m Adam,” the young man offers his name, filled with confusion.“

Daybreakers x drinkbloodlikewine, whiskeyandspite: Bodyguard Nigel x Hacker Adam
“He’s worked for people like this before, rich bored kids who want someone stalked or scared or fucked for an infidelity case. He doesn’t really give a fuck - they pay up well enough - stupid, but never stupid enough to deny Nigel his paycheck once he’s finished what they fucking want him to do.But he doesn’t have the brain capacity to deal with some snot-nosed asshole with daddy’s black card telling him he wants to be treated like a proper paying client.Fuck it.He goes in anyway. At worst he’ll punch a door. At best he’ll get paid to punch something else.“

Midnighters x drinkbloodlikewine, whiskeyandspite: Sassy Hacker Adam joins Nigel for heists
“Or honor, whatever. Nigel doubts either really exists. He watches Adam. Adam does not watch him back, though occasionally his eyes skim over the man in quick motions before moving away. He still cannot seem to look at him, perhaps he doesn’t want to. Perhaps he genuinely can’t. Nigel supposes there’s little else for him to do but either send the kid away or use him. And if he’s as good as he sounds, he wants to fucking use him.“So you can do it?”“You ask pedantic questions for someone who wishes to lead a team into something like this, are you sure you’re capable?” Adam asks him, brows up again before he shifts in his seat and brings the book to his lap, hands still clasping it as though it’s keeping him grounded. “I am good with computers, I have worked on security systems before, and you need me. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”“

Mac & Cheese x elena0206: Spacedogs appreciate week, guys! So good!
“Cereal and mac & cheese boxes are not Schrödinger’s cat. They don’t exist in a state of quantum superposition, simultaneously being there and not being there. Adam consumed all of them and they simply are not there anymore – or at least not in the same state of matter. And that’s a fact.”