andy goldstein


Newt: Hello strange person who I have never met before. Who are you?
Tina: I’m Janet Snakehole. I’m a very rich widow with a terrible secret. Who are you?
Newt: Burt Macklin, FBI. I was the best damn agent they ever had until I was framed for a crime I didn’t commit. Stealing the President’s…rubies. Now I work alone.
Tina: Lovely to meet you.
Newt: I gotta admit, I thought your costume would be a little more slutty.
Tina: How. Dare. You. 

(Park and Recreation; season 3, episode 13: The Fight) 


OC’s BEST OF 2016
Post your fave OC’s screenshots from 2016 and tag your friends!

I was tagged by @aod4909 <3  Thank you! ^_^

I didn´t include Susie because I felt like I already done her in a way :P Click pictures for name and date lol

I tag @azuremermaid , @ziva-sims , @ice-creamforbreakfast , @ninjaofthepurplethings , @soloriya , @silverowlblog , @rollo-rolls , @simplyimaginarypeople , @my-simension , @theothersim , @plumb-barb , @cualquiere , @novapark , @mimisapje , @katsujii , @mypixelchronicles , @pixelsinmyveins, @alverdinesims , @verakasthethird and literally anyone else of my lovely followers who wants to do it!! 


Abernathy: This “Snake Juice” is basically rat poison. Everybody’s wasted.
Tina: You don’t even know one thing, I didn’t even say one thing and then he asked me the whole thing and I didn’t even do it once!!
Jacob: I’m like an elephant, okay? If I walk into a room, it’s like okay, he’s in there.
Percival: I’m gonna tell you…That…That bitch over there…I’m…I’m gonna tell..I don’t have to…I don’t have to brag.
Queenie: Baba booey.
Credence: Turn this music down. [singing] Farts and boobs and love and stuff… macaroni salad…
Picquery: {rapidly speaking Spanish}
Newt: {Dancing}

(Parks and Recreation; season 3, episode 13: The Fight)


Percy and Credence’s Fancy Party: Part 2

Credence: It’s actually a really funny story. We were hanging out. And suddenly, I was like “What if we got married tomorrow?” And he was like - 
Graves: Fine. 

(Parks and Recreation; season 3, episode 9; Andy and April’s Fancy Party)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7


Tina: I don’t want you to go back to London.
Newt: Just remember every time you look up at the moon. I, too, will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously. That’s impossible

(Parks and Recreation; season 6, episode 6: Filibuster)


Percy and Credence’s Fancy Party: Part 4

Tina: Hey, can I talk to you?
Newt: Yes, please.
Tina: Percival and Credence are about to get married.
Newt: Wow. My Britta filter’s older than their relationship. Wait a second - should I change my Britta filter?
Tina:I don’t know. It depends on how frequently you use it. Stay focused, okay? Please. The point is two boneheads, whom I love dearly, are about to sacrifice their future ‘cause they haven’t thought this thing through. And nobody seems concerned about this.

(Parks and Recreation; season 3, episode 9: Andy and April’s Fancy Party) 

Part 1| Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7


Percy and Credence’s Fancy Party: Part 3

Graves: Such a loser. Can’t believe I’m marrying him
Tina: You don’t have to!
Graves: I’m going to. And then I’m going to divorce him. Then I’m going to marry him again

(Parks and Recreation; season 3, episode 9; Andy and April’s Fancy Party)

Part 1| Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7


Tina: You think I haven’t been around the world? I’ve been everywhere, darling. I’m a very wealthy woman. My husband’s kept me in the finest clothes from Bergdorf Goodman, you see. 
Gnarlak: Aurors! Freeze!
Tina: No! Leave me alone!
Gnarlak: Hands in the air!
Tina: I didn’t kill anyone! And I didn’t burn down the mill either! My sister did! But now she’s been eaten by wolves!

(Parks and Recreation; season 3, episode 3: The Fight) 

AU where the real Percival Graves is April Ludgate if she never made it out of the Parks Department

Imagine fresh out of Ilvermorny Graves who just signed up for auror training because the summer after school was really boring and he thought he’d get to see some dead bodies and would be allowed to murder people, and somehow got assigned this relentless perky mentor and now 20 years later he runs the department. 

Cos as much as I love “Graves as Ron Swanson”, “Graves as April Ludgate” is what crack!au dreams are made of.  

Graves trying to convince Picquery to adopt a cunning plan: 

Graves: Look this is a stupid idea, but right at this exact second we have enough momentum to do something stupid before we realise how stupid it is.

At a social mixer:

Tina: Mr Graves! You came! 

Graves: I wanted to make fun of stupid people while I got drunk. My two true passions. 

After Picquery demotes Tina to the Wand Permit Office:

Tina: How do I fight back? Give me some options. 

Graves: Do you… want me to seduce the President?  

Tina: How would that help? 

Graves: I don’t know. I just want to see if I can do it.

Graves’ yearly address to the baby!aurors: 

Graves (to himself before his speech): I started here when I was eighteen, and now I’m old and gross and directionless. Those kids are me twenty years ago and this internship is the cursed book from that play about the ring. It’s too late for me -  I’ve seen too much, but maybe I can save them. 

Graves (out loud to the new batch of bright eyed recruits): You’re all gonna die in here!  

Later on in the same speech: 

Graves: We have a couple of department rules, though. You can’t use the front door; you have to climb in through the back window. No personal floo conversations. If you ever speak to me in Spanish, please use the formal “usted.” And no electricity after 6:00 PM. A couple more rules: if you ever read case notes with upsetting details, you have to wear mascara so we can see whether or not you’ve been crying. There’s no noise allowed on Mondays. And no radio after breakfast.

Declaring his undying love to Credence (or whoever your ship of choice is)

Graves: I guess I kind of hate most things, but I never really seem to hate you. 


Percy and Credence’s Fancy Party: Part 8

Picquery: You wouldn’t have been able to stop it, you know.
Tina:  I could’ve yelled something or tackled someone.
Picquery: But you didn’t, because deep down, you knew it wouldn’t have mattered. Those wizards are gonna do what they wanna do.
Tina:  They may have just ruined their lives on an impulse decision.
Picquery: Tina, I got married twice. Both times, I was a lot smarter than those two. And both marriages ended in divorce And a burning effigy. Who’s to say what works? You find somebody you like, and you roll the dice. That’s all anybody can do.
Tina: Wait. Weren’t you married three times?
Picquery: Oh, my God, you’re right. I get to burn another effigy.

(Parks and Recreation; season 3, episode 9: Andy and April’s Fancy Party) 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 |  Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Percy and Credence’s Fancy Party: Part 1

Tina: Hey, guys, what’s going on?
Credence: It’s supposed to be a big surprise. But tonight, me and Percival are getting married. To each other!
Tina: Are you pregnant? Is Graves pregnant?
Graves: Yes.
Credence: YES!?
Graves: No!

(Parks and Recreation: series 3, episode 9: Andy and April’s Fancy Party)

Part 2