anders can you not

so if you romanced anders hawke mentions in inquisition that they don’t like to leave anders behind, but they have him hidden in a “safe place”

and if carver’s a grey warden hawke mentions that they had aveline hide him

imagine carver and anders being reluctant roommates

carver and anders holed up in some tiny cottage in the anderfels, trying desperately not to kill each other

I’ve watched listened to WAY too much Grey’s Anatomy (all of it from the start, within a month and a half probably, or less). xD I meant to ACTUALLY include Anders in his nurse’s outfit but the way this went he didn’t want to be in the picture. xD LATER, then.

Dear fandom

Why do you keep forgetting that Sebastian is a sassy little shit? I mean it’s all precious and sweet, that you keep depicting him as this innocent, ever-friendly, Maker-loving choir boy, but have you also considered these?

Before a fight:
“Maker preserve their stupid, stupid souls.“

When killing and enemy:
“Arrows courtesy of Sebastian Vael!“

After a fight:
“And I just cleaned my armour.”

About to KO:
“Why do they always go for the archers?“

Anders: How can you have so much faith? Does nothing bother you?
Sebastian: You’re bothering me.

Aveline: I’ve seen greater men than you use that excuse.
Sebastian: Noted and ignored, Captain.

Fenris: I can’t decide if it is certainty you have, or blindness.
Sebastian: (Chuckles) At least you can’t decide. 

Isabela: You weren’t? You weren’t going to tell me to comfort the needy and give freely of myself?
Sebastian: From what I hear, you already give yourself quite freely.

To Isabela if she returned to give the stolen book back:
“It’s frightening, isn’t it, to realize you have the potential to be a better person?”

Merrill: I’ve always wondered: how do your Divines choose their names?
Sebastian: They write all the best sacred names on slips of paper and stuff them in a miter.
Sebastian: Then the newly elected Divine picks a name out of the hat.
Merrill: What if she picks a name she doesn’t like? Does she have to keep it?
Sebastian: Of course she does. How do you think we got four Divines named Hortensia?

Sebastian with Hawke in the Legacy DLC:
“I wish my parents could see me now. They always said I had “no sense of the dignity of my station.” A disgrace to the Vael name.”
<Location dependent>
“Now, here I am, tracking down dwarven ruffians…”
“Now, here I am, traipsing around the Deep Roads like a common soldier.”
(If Hawke has a diplomatic/helpful personality)
Hawke: I’m sure they’d be proud of you for defending a friend.
Sebastian: They must be rolling in their graves…
(If Hawke has a humorous/charming personality)
Hawke: If you could bring your family back from the dead, that’s what you’d want? For them to be disappointed in you?
Sebastian: (Laughs) How else would I know it’s really them?
(If Hawke has an aggressive/direct personality)
Hawke: They’re dead. Let them go.
Sebastian: They must be rolling in their graves…

During the Tallis DLC when looking for Hawke:
Carver:
And we are back to front yet again.
Sebastian:
Blessed Andraste, guide us. Protect our friends in this dark hour.
Carver:
Right. Prayer. Useful, useful. Or we could do something.
Sebastian:
Guide us by the wisdom of your light… in silence.

During the Tallis DLC Act 3:
Tallis:
So if I put an apple on my head, could you shoot it off?
Sebastian: Considering what you’ve led us into, I don’t think that would be wise. 

fanon fenris: has a hair-trigger temper that goes off at the slightest mention of magic, swears all the time, violently threatens party members all the time, gets violent and aggressive every time hawke is pro-mage in a quest

canon fenris:  is always calm, mostly polite, and in control of himself aside from when he confronts his abusers (and when he’s mean to merrill. fenris ilu but no stop), never attacks or threatens any of your party members (yes, even anders), voices his disapproval but otherwise goes along with it if hawke is pro-mage

fanon fenris: picks on anders at every opportunity, is apparently seething with hatred for him, calls him an abomination literally every other word

canon fenris: doesn’t actually start most of their arguments; anders does (trust me, i checked), sounds bored in most of their conversations, is never violent towards anders, calls him an abomination in ONE conversation in the base game, and once in one of the dlcs

edit: fenris DOES threaten anders if hawke romances anders after fenris, specifically “break their heart and I’ll kill you”, but i will argue that even that is done out of love rather than him being an uncontrollable angry monster who does nothing but hate anders 24/7

Isabela: Look, I didn’t get where I am by showing my hand, all right?

Anders: No, you’re hand isn’t what I hear you’ve been showing.

Anders: Go ahead. Say it.
Sebastian: Say what?
Anders: I saw you watching me.
Sebastian: I was looking at the clouds.
Anders: Don’t give me that. I know you’ve been judging me.
Anders: You think I’m out of control. How can I claim to speak for mages when I’m half demon myself?
Sebastian: The one over there looks a bit like a bunny rabbit.
Merrill: I saw that too!